The Power That One Word Holds

Pulchra's POV:

"Stupid!"

I punched the kauri tree in front of me, leaving a red mark on my fist. A stinging pain made itself apparent throughout my entire body, but I was so angry right now that I didn't care.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"

I punched the sturdy tree a few more times before shrinking in the pain that my fist was under. I sat under the tree I had just abused and depressingly mumbled to myself, "Just how could I be so stupid?"

I really was an idiot. I could tell, today he meant everything he said. Before, I could always feel something strange about him, like he was restricting himself. I thought that this was because of his emotional problems... but I soon figured out he was able to suppress them with a Meditation Technique that Ms. Attu showed him. That caused me to be suspicious of him. Just what was he hiding from me? But that didn't matter anymore.

No matter what he was going through back then, he had gotten through it, and now he actually felt... genuine. He truly meant those words... and those actions. Yet I... I ran away.

I slumped even more than before as what I did truly came to light. What if what I did made him regress into how he was before? I wouldn't be able to forgive myself... no. I shouldn't think of myself so highly. Who is to say he even holds me in his heart at all?... But then why would he do what he did?

I thought back to how he elegantly brought my hand to his mouth. There was no lust in his eyes, that I knew for sure, but then what was that look he gave me? I have never seen something like it before...

I found myself blushing as I thought back to that amazing smile on his face... before I left him and his feelings back in the cave. Just what was wrong with me? Maybe I should ask for an outsider's point of view... but I'll need a good excuse.

____________________________________________

"So you are telling me, that your friend had a guy friend that she liked a lot. And for the first time ever, his words and actions felt genuine, but then she ran away from those feelings and felt horrible about it. So after hearing about it from your friend, you decided to consult me about it. Did I get that right?"

I nodded my head up and down, "Mhm, mhm."

Ms. Attu put her finger to her temples, massaging them slowly. She then suddenly looked at me and bluntly said, "Bullshit."

"Huh?" I almost fell off my seat. Did she see through my elaborate plan? Just how did she do it?

As if sensing my confusion she messaged her temples harder than before while saying, "Really Pulchra, how are you so smart, yet so dumb whenever it comes to Quis? Whatever, just let me ask you something. Do you really feel bad about leaving him after he poured his heart for you?"

I sighed before looking at her, "Although you make it sound like something else happened down there... yes. I do feel bad. I feel so incredibly bad, you would never know. I feel so bad that I considered ripping out my eyeballs so I wouldn't have to see him again."

She gave another sigh at my response to her question, "Then what you have to do is obvious. If you feel bad, then apologize."

These words hit like a bag of bricks, "E-excuse me, but could you repeat that for me?"

Seemingly getting more frustrated at me for some reason, she massaged her temples with more ferocity than could possibly be healthy, "I said... If you feel bad, then apologize."

Bam!

I slammed the desk that separated us, "I can't do that! You know that I can't! I can't even look him in the eyes right now-"

Bam!

She stood up, slamming both of her hands on the table as she lifted herself, "BULL! SHIT! If you ever want to look Quis in the eyes again, suck up your pride or whatever stops you from apologizing, and for goodness sake, say sorry! Why do I even need to tell you this?! Are you still a 6-year-old?!"

I stood up in anger and began to take my leave. This woman spouted nothing but toxicity from that snake's tongue of hers, I didn't want to hear any more from her. I made sure to leave a parting comment, this way I would definitely win the argument.

"If you want to lecture others on saying sorry, then at least learn to say sorry yourself! I heard from my dad that they found a lady voyeur peeping in on the male guards' dressing room! And the description of that person seemed awfully familiar!"

"AHHHH! GET OUT!!"

I made sure to shut the door behind me as fast and hard as I could.

____________________________________________

"So you and Quis went through a little scuffle huh? Well if you feel bad then isn't it just natural to apologize-"

"Not happening."

Telferr stood at me, a blank expression on her face as she comprehended what I just said. She thought about it for a second, the sweat on her forehead from her workout that I had just interrupted dropping down her face.

I sort of expected her to have a similar reaction to Ms. Attu, but contrary to expectations, she lifted her finger in realization and calmly stated, "I see now... you know Pulchra, I think we are more similar than I originally thought-"

"Please do not say such rude things Telferr."

"I-I, I was just making an observation! I just thought it made sense since I never used such simple methods as saying sorry..." Wow, she was unexpectedly aggressive today. Normally she would just buckle and crawl into a ball filled with her despair. This interested me in what she meant if even just a little. I motioned for her to continue.

"Well, you see, instead of saying sorry. I just slowly roll myself up into a ball and begin rocking back and forth... Hey, why are you looking at me like that?"

What did she just say? That was her way of saying sorry the entire time? There was no way... right? No, even more important than that... she was telling me to do that instead of just saying that I'm sorry? No way that would ever happen.

I turned around and began to walk out of the Martial Arts classroom, "I'm sorry for bothering you Felferr. It's obvious that there was nothing you could do for me from the start."

As I turned around to close the doors behind me, I could see her rocking back and forth in the fetal position.

____________________________________________

"Hmm? What brings you here at such an hour Pulchra? Don't tell me you have finally turned a new leaf and decided to get drunk tonight?!"

I sat down in the seat across from Beulus on the four-person table. It was late at night, but due to most people chasing down a certain lady voyeur, the bar was a lot emptier than usual.

"No, I still don't plan on drinking any time soon. I don't like that feeling of uncontrollability. I actually came here to consult you on something."

Just as he was about to take another sip of the beer in his hands, he looked at me with bewildered eyes. I have never seen Beulus stop in the middle of a sip. Was what I said so weird?

"Oho~! So little Pulchra has finally seen my wisdom as an older disciple? Then ask away, if it's any question about cultivation, I'm sure that I'll be able to answer it!" He only acted like this when he was slightly drunk. Just how much had he already drunk? The sun had only barely fallen beneath the canopy of the jungle...

"Well, it's actually not about anything cultivation-related... it's about Quis..." I began to explain my situation to him. But this time I did it right. I told him about how I had perceived Quis before and how I perceived him now. I told Buelus about the beauty of the cave. I told him every sweet word Quis spoke and every blunt action he took. I told him how I felt, and how I hoped Quis didn't feel. I told him all.

"Hmm, I think I get it. There is no way around it. You must apolo-"

"I can't do that," I said this differently than how I said it to Ms. Attu and Telferr. I said it with a slight embarrassment behind it. Maybe I was starting to feel like a little kid with how I was acting as of late.

I expected Beulus to freak out like Ms. Attu, or say something ridiculous like Felferr, but he didn't. Instead, he stared me right in the eyes before slowly sighing. He then opened his mouth and said with a stable voice, "Can I tell you something?" This was a completely different reaction than what I expected. I have never seen Beulus so... so serious. I silently nodded my head.

"Do you know what happened here on the night of the day that you and Quis created that big commotion on the campus?" I didn't remember anything significant happening from that event. He just showed me the World Tree and we parted ways after spending some more time together. After making sure that nothing happened that night, I shook my head.

"Of course you don't, he's too prideful to tell you. Well, I'll tell you exactly what happened. That night, when Quis entered the bar, not a single voice could be heard. Do you know why?" I shook my head in confusion once again, prompting him to answer his own question, "It was because everyone there blamed the incident completely on him. I wonder how you would feel Pulchra? If you were under so much mental pressure from all of these different places, and then on top of that, you were suddenly put under fire for something that wasn't your whole fault? Would you be angry?"

I suddenly thought back to that. I do have quite the reputation in the sect, so if an outsider were to do that to me without any consent on my part, they would be shunned... I began to droop my shoulders as I realized my mistake.

He noticed my realization and continued from where he left off, "Well he sure was. He tried to defend himself, even saying that you allowed him to do those things. While Hasrem and I may have believed him in that aspect, others didn't. Gossip spread throughout the bar, his name was tarnished for sure after the stunt he pulled."

I felt really bad now. I didn't realize I could leave such negativity on someone else's life, especially one that I held dear to my heart. Maybe he was partly to blame for that, but I was the one who put those deprived thoughts in his head. I could tell by the lack of lust in his eyes as he pulled my shirt higher that it wasn't something he enjoyed, only a means to the end. So I should be to blame for giving him the means, but instead, he took all of it... I felt like trash.

"But you know what? He isn't hated in this bar, or even the sect for that matter. Do you know why that happened?"

Huh? He wasn't hated by others? My presence in my sect is at least large enough for a small hate club to form because of something like that, in fact, I'm sure my father would be the head of the club. But there was nothing of the such... Just what incredible strategy did he employ to avoid such a thing?

Beulus stopped talking for a moment, to build suspense. But as such things work, once he built enough anticipation from me, he finished.

"He walked right into the middle of the bar, kneeled with his head touching the floor, threw his pride away, and muttered two simple words to the entire bar: "I'm sorry.""

____________________________________________

I left the bar, my mind rattling with thoughts.

I really didn't want to say sorry. I'm not sure why, but that was how I felt. I normally would listen to such a gut reaction, yet after hearing that story from Beulus...

"Ugh."

I sighed a sigh of displeasure. Tomorrow... I would say sorry to Quis.

But to do that, I have to make things official with him. I can't do anything without an official notice of our relationship, so I will make a trip out of campus to see someone.

I wonder how he is doing? After all, it has been a couple of years since I last saw him.

My grandfather.