Living to Survive and Living to Thrive

I trotted down the oh-so-familiar dirt road as the beaming sun glared at my back. It was so bright around me, bursting brown dirt, gorgeous green flora, and a beautiful blue sky. Yet even with these colors, it all seemed so dull. The iron gates of the school welcomed me as I walked into the school.

It was strange to walk without purpose in your step. I went to school because it was what I did every morning. I ate lunch because it was what I did every afternoon. And I slept because that was what I did every night. It was like my life was automated.

I walked through the halls with average speed, average posture, and average intensity. I opened the door to the cultivation classroom with mild force and entered the room. I walked over to my desk and sat down on the seat. I straightened my back and waited for the teaching to begin. At least focusing on something like school would distract me from other things.

While waiting I noticed Hasrem taking worried glances at me. She has been doing this for the past couple weeks now but never has she said anything. I'm sure she's worried about my reaction to Quis disappearing for over a month, but I really am fine. It's not like I ever deserved to have someone that good in my life in the first place anyway. The same could be said for Pulchra, I never deserved it. I should be glad that I have those memories to fondly recall.

It's not like I'm depressed, I just understand reality now. It wasn't someplace filled with flowers, fun, and fairytale love. The world was far crueler than that. A world filled with pain and misery. But there is a way out of it. Stay in your lane, don't get attached to anyone or anything, go through life disassociated, and there won't ever be anything to hurt you again. I'll just finish school and live out my life as a guard to the sect or something like that. Just a job that'll get me enough money to live, that'll be enough.

Sometimes I think that I should strive for something more than that, but what would be the point? Why would I want to be at the top of a cruel food chain? You could try and make the argument that Pulchra and Quis wouldn't be dead or missing if I were strong enough. But it would be foolish to live life with the wish of getting strong enough to protect the people you love. What are the odds of that ever happening?

Let me review. My Branch isn't unique, I'm not gifted at Martial Arts or Magic Arts, I and the owner of a C- Cultivation Talent which seals me to Stone Class, I'm not lucky enough to stumble upon something that can raise my Talent, and I'm also not smart enough to become a scholar and study a specific part of cultivation or something like that. There was no hope for me to ever become strong enough to protect others in a world of cultivation like such. So it was much smarter to go with the option of never getting close to people.

Unfortunately, suicide wasn't an option for me. I still have parents that love me, which although I thought would only end in hardship, I still owed it to myself to uphold my own principles. I won't let others feel the same hurt I felt because of selfish desires. So I've decided to live life just to survive. I'll make meager contributions to the sect and die a loner. It was better this way. This way I wouldn't be able to get hurt again. This way, I was safe-

"Yo, Capcis, you seem real down. Why don't you and I hang out after school? Maybe you can get your mind off of the whole Quis thing."

I felt a pat on my back and turned around to see who was talking to me, although I already had an idea of who it was. He was so much different than when he first entered this school, but I guess that's what Quis does to people. He had a cheeky smile on his face, and he still was as cocky as could be, but he was still somehow able to himself very popular in the month that Quis had been gone. It was Spiravit.

For the past week, he's been trying his hardest to get closer to me. I didn't have any special uses, but if I did have some confidence in something, it would be a pretty face. Maybe he developed a crush on me? How naive. The world isn't some fairy tale where a person can get close to their crush and then things kick off from there. Things would be much too easy if that were the case. And there was also the risk that if I tried getting closer to Spiravit he would die like the others. Hell, there was even the risk that I would die and leave him with a hole in his heart. I would never take that risk again.

"No."

I said this in the most lifeless, emotionless, "get out of my face", way I could. It was an effective strategy for getting people off of me. It already worked with most of the school... but this man was persistent.

"Come on, let's just do something. No need to be a downer. I don't know if you're depressed over Quis disappearing or something like that, but I recommend you let it go. There is nothing that you can do about the past, so just look forward to the future, and to do that you must fix the present. So I'll help you fix the present by making you have some fun."

I already know that I'm not depressed, I'm only conscious of the wickedness of the world. I'm not stuck in the past, in fact, I am fixing the present for an amazing future. A future filled with no more anguish.

"I'm not depressed nor am I stuck in the past. Just leave me alone."

Once again, I shedded not a single emotion through this speech. I hoped this one would get through his head, and it seemed it worked. He just said that if I'm ever singing a different tune, I could call upon him. But that wouldn't ever happen, it's too risky to change. It's too risky to do a lot of things. I just want others to live happily and not go through suffering as I did, so I can't get close to others. I already tried getting close to others and that turned out horribly. So I won't get close to others, I'll stay in my shell, and I'll never leave.

I won't allow myself to be hurt ever again.

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Spiravit's POV:

I walked back to my desk while trying my damndest to keep my expression neutral and I was somehow able to control myself while I sat down in my seat. I kept a cool exterior, but on the inside, I was pretty pissed.

I have been trying for over a week to just get this girl on my side of people for my eventual rise to the throne of Sect Leader. Normally I wouldn't care about some obviously depressed girl enough to try and cure her, but this is a great opportunity. If I'm able to show her the light, then she'll feel indebted to me. And even though she didn't show it normally, Capcis was damn good at giving a speech. She was very charismatic. So she would be a great help for me to get things done when I take over the sect. The problem is that I have no idea how to get her to see this light.

Damn it all. I just can't get a good enough read on her. If Quis were in my shoes, he would be able to calmly collect the situation, make an in-depth report on her character traits, and then make the correct move based on that. Well, no actually, if Quis were here then I would be able to force him to teach me how to do that. Though he must have already had Capcis around his fingers if this was her reaction after his death, so she probably wouldn't even be an option. The bastard.

I have no evidence of it, but I'm pretty sure he was still alive. He was Quis after all, he always had a way out of something. A crafty rabbit will create three burrows, and Quis was a damned crafty rabbit. I'm half sure that he just ran away and is in the middle of making his way to the Jungle Lotus Sect like he said he would. Maybe he only entertained me because he had to make preparations. And he also knew about the secret exit because of his night out with Pulchra, so it was plausible for him to escape.

Eh, whatever. There is no point in stressing myself over something that I can't control. I'll just have to go with the second option he gave me for learning how to be observant. Experience life. So I'll do just that, and make my way to the top of everything. Once I'm at the top, I'll enjoy every second of my life to the fullest.

But for now, I must listen to this teacher ramble on about the correct way of smoothing rocks.

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I raised the curved sword glued onto the palms of my two hands and parried the incoming attack from Telferr's longsword. Although I was able to parry it, I knew that would be enough and immediately went to protect my side by slashing upwards just next to my side with the concave of the sword. I was able to catch her blade and threw it upwards as I sent a kick to her groin. But as my leg was raised up and about to kick, she jumped up, unlocking her sword from mine. As she fell down she went for an attack on my head, but I raised my wooden rhomphaia quick enough to block any attack in that area. But it was too late when I realized that it was a feint and she clobbered the side of my face with her leg, forcing me to the ground quite a ways away. I tried to get up but when I felt the poking of wood on my chest, I just fell back down to the ground.

"That makes the score, what, zero to 243 now? You may still be miles away from beating me, but I do have to admit you're getting better. I still remember how confident you were when we first started, ha! you didn't even know that I fall under the Sword Branch. Of course I had to study the blade like a madman."

I slowly brought myself to my feet and dusted off the dirt from the grass field terrain we just fought inside of and replied, "Yeah, yeah. But I think that was a new record, how long was it, six seconds? I am getting better. I am a genius after all." After I said this in a serious, confident tone, Telferr bursted out laughing.

"You lasted six seconds and that's your reasoning for calling yourself a genius? Haha! Now that is a joke! I'll let you call yourself a genius in my presence if you can ever beat me."

Her cocky attitude pissed me off, and I decided to not hold back, "Oh yeah? So I suppose you're some super genius then! What are your accomplishments?!"

She flashed a cheeky smile and scoffed, "My accomplishments? Well, let's see... for starters, I beat a Stone Class monster when I was still Dirt Class in the midterms, and that landed me in the spot of Inner Disciple. Then I was able to find the most treasure in Finals making me a Core Disciple. And then I became one of the youngest elders of the entire sect. And I even got 3rd in the first half Coal Class Tournament of the ENTIRE Jungle Region last year. And now, I'm close to being able to break through to the second half of Coal Class. Do you know what that would make me? A Grand Elder. I would say I'm very accomplished."

I was stunned by this wall of words poured onto me. I never had the thought that this crazy teacher could actually have such exploits. But... she's still talking about herself, even now. She really is narcissistic. I'd better take this opportunity to leave to classroom before she drags me back into her crazy talk.

I slid out of the Martial Arts classroom without a single disturbance and then walked out of the school. But before I was able to leave completely, I felt murderous intent behind me and sidestepped to the right. Just where I was standing a moment ago, a girl zoomed through and fell onto the ground in a face-plant. It didn't take me long to figure out who it was.

She got up and gnarled at me for a moment before calming down. In this newfound calm, she tried to walk away, but I already had my hand on her shoulder before she was able to do anything, "Iusus, what was that about?"

She turned around and explained bluntly to me, "What was it? I was attempting to assassinate you. I thought that was obvious."

I was sick of dealing with stupid people today, but I had to keep on moving if I wanted to grow an empire under me, "And just why is it that you attempted to assassinate me?"

She just rubbed the back of her head and said like she was explaining something simple, "Well, Quis is gone now, so I need a new target to practice my skills. And you just seemed like the next best choice."

I think I felt a vain pop in my head as I seethed with anger. But I can calm down, I can stay calm. Calm down.

"Iusus, don't you think that is a little, unnecessary? Can't you figure out another way that doesn't bother me?" After seeing what Quis had to go through with her, I had to try my hardest to get her off of my back. I did not want to deal with another idiotic factor today.

"I don't see why I should. You're the perfect target."

Yup, she wasn't willing to reason. Am I seriously going to have to deal with this girl? For the rest of the school year? I wouldn't allow it. That's it, I'm going to figure out a way to make her stay away from me, that way I can put all of my focus on taking over the Neutral Faction, and then the sect.

Just as I returned my attention back to Iusus though, she was gone. She was damn sneaky, I'll give her that.

I ruefully sighed as I thought about it some more. The future of constantly having to be on guard. Having to always worry that I might be attacked by that crazy bitch any second. It was... so very annoying even to think about.

I really need to figure out a way to get rid of her.