Nine

Her legs ached, even still. The hours of relentless basketball had taken its toll on Kaho, leaving her utterly spent. The grassy slope was a welcome respite. She flopped back too and settled down, feeling the gentle blades of grass against their skin, looking up to the vast expanse of the darkening sky. The first few stars were glistening above them. 

They laid together in the evening light, watching the last rays of daylight die on the horizon, dipping behind the skyline. They watched more and more stars burst to life before their eyes. Neither of them said a word. 

Kaho sighed, glancing over at him. Naseru gazed longingly into the expanse of night above them. She smiled and turned her head to face him. 

"This was so much fun," Kaho said, "Thank you for today." 

Naseru shrugged, "I won't thank you for beating me, Aigawa."

"Maybe not today, but someday you will," she smirked. 

Naseru sighed and looked up at the stars. The evening chill was encroaching, and even under the orange glow of nearby streetlights, faced by the morse code from the Luvrz sign, Naseru's dark eyes were trained on the stars. He sighed. 

"This spot," Naseru said, inhaling the freshness of the night air, "The wind here, with thousands of pressures, dances down from the star-filled heavens, making the grass sway. It's simply perfect after an intense match." 

Kaho released a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding. He'd said something, something unprompted, without mockery, means or motive. He was talking her because he could. Because he wanted to. 

Naseru paused, drawing a breath. "No matter which city, which town I find myself in, one thing remains unchanged – I always find a grassy slope like this, where I can lay back, let the night's breeze hold me, and lose myself to the stars."

Kaho turned to look at Naseru again. He was still looking at the sky, his hands were resting behind his head, and dark, soulful eyes trained on the stars, like they were shining just for him. She turned to the sky too, her cheeks flushed. She wished she could paint this, capture the shades of blue and orange from the streetlights that bathed Naseru in a vast spectrum of colours. This was a mango moment – like that first-year kid from the art club, wanting to dissect every colour, shape and texture. She wished she could take a picture and study it, pixel by pixel and make him her muse. The boy bathing in starlight, she'd call it. She sighed to herself and closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again, the stars gleamed even brighter, like they were trying to send a message. She smiled and reached an arm to the sky, as if she could just pull a star from thin air. But it also made her feel so small. She remembered being Himiko's age, maybe even younger, and running to the crest of a hill and jumping as if she was chasing a kite string, just to get her hands on the universe. But her hands were on the universe, by just grasping at seemingly nothing she was holding infinity and possibility between her fingertips. And yet, it wasn't even a grain of sand to the cosmic desert. 

She couldn't help but marvel at the sheer vastness of it all. 

"Do you ever think about it?" Naseru asked, "What's out there?" 

"Oh for sure," Kaho said, "Probably more than most people." 

Naseru let out a breath of laughter, "It sure does make you feel small, doesn't it? Considering all those stars, billions of them, it's hard not to wonder if there might be other civilisations out there. Other forms of intelligent life, looking up at their sky, contemplating about civilisations like ours."

Kaho's eyes met Naseru's, and in that moment, amidst the vastness of the universe, the world felt incredibly small, their world. Like they existed in the space between her eyes and his. Each blade of grass its own continent. Her eyes found Naseru's lips and lingered there for a moment too long. She blushed and averted her gaze. 

Naseru shuffled closer, rolling onto his side, propping his head up on his elbow. Kaho leaned over, too, but just as their faces were inches away. 

Their moment was interrupted by a gargling sound of Kaho's insides. Her stomach churned. 

Naseru laughed, "Guess we should find something to eat."

She sat up a bit, propping herself up on both elbows. His face was just inches away from hers. She could feel his breath on her face, how it hitched when he looked at her face, how his eyes flickered to her lips. Just like hers flickered to his. 

Just as their lips were about to meet, Naseru pulled away abruptly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, the guilt evident in his voice and eyes. "You have a boyfriend."

Kaho sighed, looking away from him, curling up, hugging her knees. She dug her nails into the fabric of her skirt and took a few quick breaths. Her heart was racing. Every muscle in her body felt like it was on fire. She wanted the floor to swallow her. Her insides ached, a million words died on her lips. excuses. Apologies. Justifications. Tatsuya. Thoughts of Tatsuya were like a murmuration of birds, twisting into a million shapes, shrieking insults and . She looked back, at Naseru. He was already on his knees, about to get to his feet.

"Yes, I do." Kaho said, her voice was quiet, resigned. She took another deep breath and dug her nails into her palms, hoping that whatever force was pulling her to him would shrivel up and die like waking up from a daydream. It didn't. He still knelt in front of her, his blazer open, buttons undone, and tie slack. His braided hair framed his face and his big brown eyes were soulful and inviting. She wanted to lose herself in them. 

Had she felt that way about Tatsuya before? Had she felt anything like this for Tatsuya? He'd tried to 'we need to talk' his way out of their relationship and she'd wormed her way back into his good graces. But was it worth it? Their relationship was hard. His career came first. He went to a school far away, and she never saw him, and then there was Naseru. Naseru who was apparently so important. More important than she knew. And he was there, in front of her. She couldn't look away from him; from his face, charting every similarity and difference between the two. How Naseru's brows came together when he was uncertain, turning up, while Tatsuya's brows furrowed downward. How Naseru's smile was rare, while Tatsuya wore a smile for the world. There was no distinction between the two.

Maybe she was making excuses. Maybe she was coming to a realisation that she had to do something, be the active participant in her life, not just in helping others. She glanced back to Naseru's eyes. His deep, soulful eyes, the ones that felt like black holes and possibilities, and she knew. 

"Aigawa I-"

Kaho shook her head, shuffled to her knees on the ground and wrapped his school tie around her fist. She tugged it and pulled him closer to her. 

"I don't want any regrets," she said with quiet resolve, "And I don't want to lie about what I feel." 

She leaned closer, eyes fluttering closed as she closed the gap between them, Her lips met his. 

Naseru kissed her back, taking control of the moment, parting his lips and coaxing her to do the same. It was gentle, tender, inviting, like dipping your toe into the bath to see if it was hot enough before diving right in. He took her face in his hands and caressed her cheek with his thumb. The kiss deepened, their breathing getting heavier as their hands scrambled to find purchase. Kaho draped her arms around Naseru's shoulders, while Naseru caressed her jaw and held the back of her head, despite the sweat in her hair. 

When they broke apart for air, their eyes met again. Naseru was gasping for breath. All that basketball and he'd barely broken a sweat, but she had been the one to fluster him? She fought the urge to close the gap again. Kiss him again.

"Aigawa?" Naseru said, "Aigawa hey?" 

She shook her head, cheeks burning scarlet. 

They weren't on the verge anymore. They were walking through the streets of their town. The beacon of Luvrz was in her periphery, on her right. Had they crossed a whole footbridge while she'd been daydreaming? Why was she doing this? She had to shut her mind off. 

But Naseru was holding onto her, leading the way. His hand was encircling her wrist.Kaho screwed her eyes shut, the excited tingles flatlined, and her stomach dropped. He was staring at her. 

Her stomach gargled. 

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."