12

So look me in the eyes

Tell me what you see

Perfect paradise

Tearing at the seams...

--

There was ruckus everywhere as Chimdi stepped out of the make shift background, she felt hot, energy sapped and tasty. The aircon and fan in the room doing a poor job in keeping her cool.

When the noise increased, she traced it's source, just to hear her mothers voice, screaming orders while Antni opposed.

Funny, she thought, how Antni and Ginika never got along, but were always ready to work together when it came to making her life a living hell.

She caught sight of TJ who stared at the scenario with a bored expression and immediately regretted allowing him to come with her.

First, he saw her get embarrassed by Vladimir.

She groaned.

He had not only seen her get humiliated and bossed around, but has witnessed her mother and Aunty at what they did best.

Bicker around like infants.

"Antni you can't tell me you are taking her to Abuja. We agreed that this was a one day shoot!" Ginika shouted, tapping away in her phone.

Like she cares.

"We don't have a choice. Aso rock was the only option G, so quit shouting!" Antni shot back.

Chimdi tried to process the information. All she heard was Abuja and Aso rock, then her name, nothing sounded intelligible. She inched closer to hear more.

"Then you make out an option Antni! My daughter is not going for an unprepared shoot on some rock! Provide an option!" Ginika snapped back.

Chimdi Scoffed. Same old routine.

Ginika acting like she cared.

Antni, objecting and opposing.

Things became clear to Chimdi.

She scowled as she heard Ginika talk about her well being like she deserved the best mom award.

Rolling her eyes, she walked out, bracing herself for whatever drama her mother had up her sleeve.

"That's my baby girl," Ginika cooed as she spotted her daughter, fooling everyone except her and Antni, who played along to the sick game.

"I've missed you baby. I was so busy this morning that I missed the first shoot." She continued, gathering Chimdi in a hug.

"Hope they are not stressing you?" Chimdi just nodded. Waiting impatiently for the show to come to an end.

"You look sick." She held her face. Well that was the only truth in her sick game. Chimdi did look and feel sick.

"Have you eaten? Hope it's something healthy?" Ginika continued, while Chimdi held back a scoff.

Chimdi nodded, and after the drama was over, walked back in to let them decide her fate once more. But not before sparing a glance TJ's way to see him, eyes focused on the camera draped around his neck. Relieved that he wasn't paying attention, she continued her journey.

--

Chimdi sat quietly in a tent at a location she was yet to know, while the crew set up the next background for her next shoot.

Turned out that Ginika and Antni's decision, brought them to a lonely beach with a lion tamer waiting outside for them.

She breathed in. It was just a shoot and she'd had one with animals before, a lion wouldn't be much to handle, she thought.

Amahle came in to join her, smiling when she saw Chimdi's expression.

Chimdi had warmed up to the cheerful woman ever since she got rescued from Vladimir in the bathroom and over snide remarks Vladimir. And course, the woman has been nothing but nice and friendly towards her.

"There you are," She said coming to join her. "You look beautiful, like an African princess which you are Chimdi." The older woman praised, patting Chimdi's Cheeks.

Chimdi traced the partern of the two piece velvet leopard prints she was donned in. She spared a glance at the floor length mirror the makeup artiste had provided. The colourful beads, the daring makeup and her skin shone.

She smiled, Amahle was right, she looked beautiful.

The praises the older woman showered on her ever since, had been genuine, unlike the ones showered on her by Ginika and Antni.

Amahle was the mother she wished to have.

"Thank you."

"I know you are worried about the idea of posing with a lion dear," Amahle continued, taking her hands. "But we trust the lion tamers words. The Lion was tamed to a T and your mother won't let you near harms way. She loves you."

Chimdi fought the urge to roll her eyes. If only she could tell everyone that her mother felt nothing close to love for her, that all the affection she'd been showering her were all faux. Just a front to tell the world a different story.

She felt a lump on her throat, swallowing it, she gave Amahle a quick smile before nodding.

"That's better. We are going to make this shoot a success and I can't wait to see your face on the front pages of Vogue Africa on January. And have I told you this?" She asked Chimdi, who shook her head whilst smiling.

Amahle always made her smile. She'd managed to forget Vladimir, her mother and Antni in seconds.

"What?"

"Working with you has been such pleasurable experience, I was quick to judge. I was expecting a spoilt brat, who'd grumble and mumble over every little thing. But I got the best model there is."

Chimdi smiled, "Thanks a lot."

"One more thing, my Son is a fan." She said smiling back.

"Son?" Chimdi asked.

"Yes. He is a junior in college and can't stop talking about you, you know boys and their weird crushes on celebrated young females," The older woman whispered the last part conspiratorially, causing the skinny girl's face flush in embarrassment.

"Can I get an autograph for him. At least, he'll let me off for refusing his offer to come with me." Amahle laughed, when Chimdi just stared.

Chimdi tried to process Amahle's words. She had a fan in south Africa? She'd never really felt good when it came to fans, but this, was a total mind changer, anything from the super caring woman.

"Umm, I don't do autographs though," she stuttered, smiling shyly as Amahle nodded her understanding. "But, I have something better." she said, remembering her customized denim jacket. The clothing brand she'd modelled for a while ago had made three in different sizes. She only wore the smallest.

"Really?" Amahle looked relieved.

"Yes. It's at the A&A." Amahle nodded, smiling at her kind offer.

--

"No! I am not getting an inspiration from that joke of a pose baby doll!" Vladimir shouted in annoyance for the thousandth time, since they were set for the shoot.

Ever since the incident at the bathroom, he'd been nothing but mean, snapping at every pose she striked. Chimdi was at the brink of snapping at him.

After racing with the tamed lion to get a brave concept, which weren't perfect to Vladimir, till the tenth round. She'd been energy sapped.

"You lean on this buddy this way," Vladimir said, grabbing her by the waist or more like groping her.

She stilled as she watched him, before sparing a glance her mothers way, to see that she was tapping away in her phone, totally wishing she was somewhere else.

Her eyes searched for one more person. But he was absent.

She jolted when she felt his finger graze her rib, right on the spot that gave way to the underside of her breast, his other hand pressed tightly on her waist.

"You lean on the animal this way. Be free, act natural," he said with a smirk. All he did went unnoticed by the crew.

Chimdi swallowed, she could feel the panic attack about to make an appearance.

"Do I make you nervous babydoll?" He whispered, his hand inching higher.

She saw red when he groped her and having had enough, she pushed him aside, running straight to the tent.

"What was the meaning of that!" Ginika barked, as she entered the tent.

"Are you going to throw away all we've worked hard for! What is your problem?" she barked again, pacing around the small tent when Chimdi did nothing but shed more tears.

"Can you talk for Christ sake!"

"He-He was touching me inappropriately. Mum, he came unto me in the bathroom and he has been doing acting inappropriately with me ever since. He breached his limits few minutes ago too!" she said in between sobs.

Her mothers next words were what broke her. "And so? You were to come across that eventually. You've experienced worse, haven't you?" her words felt like a slap across Chimdi's face.

"Look Dee," Chimdi backed off, not believing Ginika's words at all.

"Models get touched, in the face, the body. Many get nude shots, but do you see them complaining? No. Why not, walk with me let's get this over with. I have a flight to Akwaibom this evening. The more time you waste, the more I get delayed." Ginika warned, eyes back to her cellphone.

Chimdi stared at her mother like she just grew a second head. Ginika was quite insensitive, always rash with decisions involving, but the response had shocked her to the core. She stared at the woman she called mother, as tears had their free course down her cheeks.

"Time is not on our side Dee. Hurry!" Ginika said, when she saw that Chimdi was still seated.

"I'm not going." The skinny girl said timidly, albeit with finality.

"Did I hear you right?"

"I said. I'm not going. I can't let Vladimir touch me that way again. I already feel disgusted."

Ginika charged at her. Eyes full of hate as she approached her daughter.

Chimdi backed off. She knew that look, she'd familiarized with it and knew the outcome.

"Would have slapped you so hard across your ugly face, if thousand worth makeups aren't on it." She made for her ears instead.

"Now listen. You'll go out there, complete that shoot and I'll get out of this damned place," Chimdi nodded, writhing in pain as Ginika twisted her ears. She barely heard a word, her ears were on fire.

"Or you'll say good bye to your life. I'll make it a living hell with just a snap of my finger! Do I make myself clear?" Chimdi nodded, fighting the urge to breakdown.

"I'll give you few seconds." With that, She made for the exit.

--

They returned back to the A&A agency to freshen up, before the crew drove to their respective hotels.

Chimdi looked and felt sick, the memory of the day's event weighing her down. Even Amahle, after she received the present for her son, had noticed that she didn't look well.

As usual, Chimdi showed her a fake smile, her weapon of sheer deception, after telling her she had a migraine.

The kind woman had advised her to have a good night sleep before she left for her hotel room.

Leaving her, TJ and Antni alone at the agency.

The building was silent as she made her way to her dressing room, stripped off her clothes and headed to the bathroom.

She felt disgusted, filthy and worthless as she turned the heater to it's max, letting the steamy water cascade down her body. Sponging and scrubbing, she went on, trying to wash Vladimir's touch off her body and same time, trying to get his voice out of her head.

The voices in her head were so much.

Her mothers cruel ones.

Vladimir's filthy ones.

They weighed her down, filling her with self hate. She scrubbed harder, the scalding hot water, extreme for her skin, but she took the pain, wishing that it would cleanse her off Vladimir's filthy hands.

When she couldn't endure the pain no more, she stepped out, wrapped herself in a fluffy bathrobe and made to dress up.

Still in a bathrobe, She heard a rap at the door and before she could speak up, Antni let her self in.

Chimdi's finger gripped her body lotion tighter, her face hardening as she saw Antni's concerned face.

Antni made her feel like she was mentally unsound. Always was there to offer not-so-soothing words, but couldn't do anything more. It had been going on, far too long. Leaving the skinny girl with unanswered questions as to why she stuck around, but kept mute when she knew what she was going through.

Seeing her always brought back haunting memories, ones she'd tried but failed to forget.

"Are you done running baby doll?"

Don't think about Him!

Her subconscious warned. But it was already too late, everything became vivid in her memory, and again she felt filthy.

The memories came rushing back, coupled with old ones. They reopened, like old wounds.

She felt herself drop on the hard tile, and without permission, the tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Dee!" Antni rushed to were she lay, totally alarmed. She knew when Chimdi's panic attacks were about to start.

"Look at me!" She begged, reaching out to touch her.

"Don't touch me!" Chimdi screamed, moving away.

"Listen, let me help you Dee please. Look at me."

Help me? The skinny recoiled in disgust.

Where was she when she needed her help so bad.

Barely looking at Antni, set her off to an end, so terminal she too felt like hurting her with the body lotion she held. Pure sizzling hate bubbled deep inside her as she stared at Antni. She was certain the older woman too, had a hand in making her life a living hell.

"Go away. Just get out!" She screamed again, this time louder.

"Listen Dee..."

"Can't you hear me? I don't want to see you!" Breathing fast, she shut her eyes, wishing for Antni and the memories to go away.

She heard faint footstep, and the door bang.

One down.

She shut her eyes, the memories battling to stay back, taking her back .

"Are you done running baby doll?"

"Just pure and young, what I need."

"I made you, I decide what to do with you!"

They all came together, like amalgamation of memories.

She screeched.

"Chimdi!" Came an urgent, almost scared voice. Coupled with rap on the door.

"Go away!"

"Uhmm, I don't think I have the mind to. Thought I heard you scream." TJ said, lingering at the door, certain that he heard someone scream.

"TJ?" She croaked out.

"Yes,"

"Come in."

She watched him walk in, watched the puzzled expression on his face as he rushed to were she lay.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asked alarmed, joining her on the floor and cradling her as she sobbed hard.

And at that moment, she didn't care if he'd seen her get embarrassed by Vladimir, If he watched her mother make a fool of herself or if he saw her in a state of despair.

She clung to him and sobbed, letting the tears flow like water works as he rocked her.

All she knew was that, of everything in the building. He was the only thing real.

--