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Date A Live: The Curse Of The Harem Protagonist.

"Wait, since when do I have a sister? What the hell is a Spirit? And why is my hair blue?!" Shidou always hated harem anime, yet he continuously kept indulging in them. So when he found himself in a harem anime it almost felt poetic. Though, now that he's here, it begs the question, what will he do exactly? The answer is simple. Fuck it up. Probably. (PS I FUCKED UP THE TIMER SETTINGS SO CHAPTER ONE AND TWO ARE SWITCHED. CHAPTER 1 IS CHAPTER TWO AND VICE VERSA)

Anithoal · Anime et bandes dessinées
Pas assez d’évaluations
4 Chs

At least I'm not in Nebraska

11:35 PM

The credits rolled. The sounds of the Japanese vocal track accompanying the anime ending flooded the thinly lit room. The song never finished, though, as the gogoanime tab hosting the melody was abruptly closed by a very dissatisfied anime fan.

 

What a load of crap that was.

 

Shidou scowled at his computer screen. Why wouldn't he? He'd just watched the most boring anime in the entire observable universe after all. The protagonist was bland, the plot was painfully predictable, and any conflict was easily dealt with due to the protagonist being abhorrently overpowered. Worst of all though, it was a harem anime, the anime genre Shidou despised the most. All in all, Shidou's opinion of In Another World With My Smartphone definitely couldn't be any lower. Shidou may be an anime fan, but he has standards. There are only so many overused tropes and panty shots a man can take after all.

I have to vent to someone about this.

Shidou typed into the keyboard of his computer, the keys making a satisfying clacking noise. Soon after Shidou finished typing, a gray logo resembling a crab-like creature in the shape of a game controller appeared on the screen.

 Shidou impatiently waited for the Discord loading screen to finish. Once Discord had fully loaded, Shidou began scrolling through his direct messages, sifting through countless users before finally landing on the one he was looking for. He glanced at the green circle next to their icon. Seeing that he was active, Shidou swiftly moved to message him. His fingers moved swiftly as he angrily typed.

 

11:46 PM

Phiazco: I just finished watching the smartphone isekai.

 

Stargazer: Oh? Was it any good?

 

Phiazco: It was a harem anime.

 

Stargazer: Oh boy... here we go again.

 

Phiazco: I'll just say this

 

Stargazer: Doubt it.

  

Phiazco: It was one of the most boring anime I've ever watched.

 

Stargazer: Go on...

 

Phiazco: No wait 

Phiazco: Most I've ever watched would mean that it stood out in some way.

 

Phiazco: It was a very run-of-the-mill waste of time.

 

Stargazer: I see.

 

Phiazco: I'm not even gonna mention how many underage girls the protagonist adopted into his harem.

 

Stargazer: You just did.

 

Phiazco: The youngest was like 13 and my guy was high school age.

 

Stargazer: ...I don't want to know anymore.

 

Phiazco: I'm just saying, out of all the harem anime out there this one is one of the worst out there.

 

Phiazco: And that means a lot coming from me the biggest hater of harem anime.

 

Stargazer: I really don't get it tbh.

 

Stargazer: If you hate harem anime so much why do you keep watching it?

 

Phiazco: You don't get it.

 

Phiazco: I watch it because I hate it.

 

Phiazco: I need to continuously consume harem anime to validate my hatred for it.

 

Phiazco: In all my time watching it, I've only ever come across one good harem anime.

 

Phiazco: The rest of them are all terrible.

 

Stargazer: I don't know... I thought Nisekoi was pretty good.

 

Phiazco: FUCK NISEKOI ONODERA SHOULD'VE WON!

 

Stargazer: Ok dude. I think you need to calm down. 

Stargazer: This (clearly terrible) harem anime has you all worked up.

 

Stargazer: Maybe you should go to sleep.

 

Stargazer: Give yourself time to y'know. 

Stargazer: Cool off.

 

Stargazer: Plus it's like 12.

 

Phiazco: Big talk from someone who's also awake at this time.

 

Stargazer: I was about to go to sleep.

 

Stargazer: Until someone decided I'd be the best person to vent their frustrations about a shitty anime to.

 

Phiazco: Touche.

12:01 AM

Phiazco: ...Look man, just agree with me.

Phiazco: Just say it's bad.

Stargazer: Ok…

Stargazer: That anime was trash.

Stargazer: A piece of fucking shit.

Phiazco: Good.

Phiazco: See now I feel better.

Phiazco: This is what friends are for.

 

Stargazer: Well then 

Stargazer: Now that you're done venting.

 

Stargazer: I'm going to sleep.

 

Stargazer: Goodnight.

 

Phiazco: Hey wait.

 

Phiazco: I'm not done complaining yet!

12:23 AM

 

A gray circle appeared beside Stargazer's profile, replacing the green one that had previously been there just a moment ago. The indication of this wasn't lost on Shidou. He wasn't an idiot. It was obvious. Stargazer had logged off of Discord, presumably to go to sleep, but Shidou suspected it was merely a guise to cover up the fact that he simply didn't want to continue the conversation. Either way, he had left, and Shidou was now left alone with his thoughts once again.

 

12:31 AM

I swear... why do people even like this crap... It's just the same crap over and over again. A guy with absolutely no redeemable qualities to make it easier for the viewer to project themselves on somehow manages to get a myriad of hot women to follow them religiously, screaming "I want your lineage!". If being average made you popular with women I would've already drowned in bitches by now. That's the only real good thing about being a harem protagonist: the ability to get women. This ability though, unfortunately, doesn't equate to having the ability to have sex with said women. I'll never understand it. They could be the most perverted bastard on the planet and yet the moment the opportunity to have sex arises they either turn tail and run or the writer makes sure the opportunity vanishes due to some form of interruption. The women aren't any better either. I swear, with the amount of violence these guys are subjected to they'd qualify as abuse victims. Overpowered protagonists piss me off the most though, as they do not attempt to curtail any of the abuse these women hurl at them. Smartphone dude is one of many who fall into this category. Like dude? You beheaded a literal dragon but you let a bunch of women, who are leagues weaker than you, beat the shit out of you because you accidentally walked in on them changing. If you viewed it as an accident, why the hell did you take the punishment? Why take a beating you don't believe you deserve and are more than capable of running away from? Damn… I wish he was still active so I could tell him all this.

12:46 AM

 

Shidou stared at his computer screen with an impassive face as he pondered such things. His eyes hovered over the inactive icon of the previously active Stargazer. A part of him hoped he'd return so he could continue venting, but he knew it was fruitless. Stargazer had most likely gone to sleep, and he wouldn't be active until the next day. He'd just have to wait until then to continue venting. 

12:56 AM

Shidou eyed the time at the bottom right of his monitor and concluded it would also be wise to fall asleep. He turned off his PC and got up from his chair. He got into his bed and pulled the blanket over his body. As he fell asleep only one thought crossed through his mind.

 

I wonder what I should watch tomorrow?

 

1:00 AM

And with that final thought crossing his mind, Shidou Itsuka fell asleep…

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??:?? AM 

"Wake up!" A female voice cheerily called out.

Huh…? Who's that calling out to me? Mom?

 

He slowly opened his eyes and adjusted them to the sunlight entering his room. Utop him stood a girl with red eyes and red hair tied into twin tails with two white ribbons. She wore a white sailor uniform and black thigh-high socks lined with white stripes. Upon noticing Shidou groggily stare up at her, she smiled brightly. Then, without any warning, she promptly jumped into the air and dropkicked Shidou, giving him a view of her underwear in the process. Shidou gasped upon being hit and reeled in pain after the unexpected attack had concluded.

 

Ow fuck that hurt! What…? What the hell is going on?

 

"Oh hey, you're awake. Hehehe~." The girl said rather matter-of-factly. She jumped off the bed and twirled around before landing and turning to look at Shidou with a smile. 

Huh?!

 

Shirou stared up at the girl in bewilderment. He didn't know who the girl was. He barely had any non-online friends, and the friendships he'd cultivated in the real world all consisted of boys. Having a female friend was a pipedream to Shidou, so the only logical conclusion he could come to was that she was somehow related to his mom. She could be the child of one of his mom's friends, though that wouldn't explain her strange appearance. She looked like she'd just jumped out of an anime.

 

"Who the hell are you?!" Shidou asked the strange girl. He looked the girl over once more now that she had stopped moving and once again noted her strange appearance. "And why do you look like that?"

 

Is this a sting operation? Is Mom trying to see if I'm a Discord Mod by making one of her friend's daughters set me up? No, that can't be it. Mom definitely doesn't have a high opinion of me, but she'd never do something like this. The Facebook groups would never agree. So what's going on?

 

The girl looked at Shidou apologetically. "Oops, looks like I hit you too hard. Sorry about that Onii-chan." The girl sheepishly replied.

Onii-chan? What kind of freaky roleplay is this?

 

But just as quickly as her demeanor had changed, it had reverted back. "Ah! But amnesia or not you still have to make breakfast! Hurry up, sleepyhead. Or else we'll both be late." She said before running out of the room.

 

Um... she doesn't seriously expect me to cook, does she? And what would we be late for- Oh shit that's right! Today's a school day!

 

Shidou quickly got out of bed and moved to get ready for school before abruptly stopping. He scanned his surroundings and quickly came to a sudden and horrifying realization.

 

This isn't my room.

 

The room contained a PC, but it was of a different model than what he owned. There was an alarm clock behind the bed he'd been rudely awoken atop. The most striking thing pointing to this not being his room though, was the bookshelf next to the PC. Shidou never read books, in fact, he'd even go as far as to question whether books even existed. Yet here stood one lone bookshelf, filled to the brim with countless literary works. This, along with the wrong model PC all pointed to only one logical conclusion. Shirou wasn't in his room, and he very well may not be in his house. To Shidou, this could only mean one thing.

I was kidnapped by an anime fan and they're gonna force me into this older brother roleplay. How sickening! I mean, I'm an anime fan too, but the worst thing you'll ever see me do is rewatch Kiss x Sis for the fifth time. Definitely not kidnapping!

Shidou stepped through the exit of his not-room. Despite only looking through the hallway, Shidou could tell that the house he was in must've been worth a lot of money.

They're a rich anime fan too. Oh great… first furries and now anime fans. I swear, how do they even get all this money? 

Shidou surveyed the hallway.

Oh hey, where does this door lead? 

Shidou walked up to a glass door that sat across the room he'd just left. He twisted the doorknob and stepped inside. Shidou found himself inside a typical Japanese bathroom. A sliding glass door that led to the main shower area stood next to the toilet. Next to the toilet stood a sink with various hygiene products atop it. Shidou glanced up at the bathroom mirror and upon seeing his reflection fell onto the floor and nearly screamed. The man in the mirror was someone he did not recognize, yet it was undoubtedly him.

I have blue hair!? What the hell?! Why do I have blue hair?! Also, why do I look… prettier?! Why… do I look like this…?!

After calming down and regaining his composure, Shidou stood up and began inspecting his reflection. His hair had been black just the day prior, but now it appeared to be blue. Not only that it appeared to be well-kempt and styled into bangs. His eyes weren't too different from how they had been previously, the only notable difference being that his eyes were a more vibrant shade of brown. The hair could have been achieved through dye and the eyes through contact lenses, but the physical appearance change wasn't explainable. Compared to his past self, he looked far more attractive. It was as if he had gotten the best plastic surgery South Korea could afford, at least when compared to his appearance the prior day. The sudden appearance change seemed to explain everything about this strange morning to Shidou as the current situation became widely apparent to him.

I've been isekai'd… into an anime.

Isekai'd, reincarnated, transmigrated, or whatever other word that's used to describe it. Shidou Itsuka was no longer in the world he once knew. He now found himself in the world of an anime, and judging by his rude awakening… he was the protagonist. Shidou's heart sank at the revelation.

My little sister wakes me up for school… yeah there's no other explanation. Going by standard anime conventions that means I'm the protagonist. And the only type of protagonist that's woken up through violence is… the harem protagonist.

Shidou's face darkened as he stared at his reflection. He looked down into the bathroom sink with a pensive expression.

Where do I go from here? Am I able to go back if I'm able to survive until the series ends? Would I want to go back? No, that's a definite yes. I'd rather play dead at a necrophilia convention than live as a harem protagonist. Well… it could've been worse. I could've woken up as a guy in Nebraska. Let's try to be optimistic here. I'm probably only in the first episode, so I should be safe for the time being. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm in an anime of course I'm not gonna be safe. But what can I even do?

Shidous eyes widened upon remembering what his 'sister' had asked to do after waking him up. Shidou resigned himself to his fate and opened the door to leave the bathroom. 

Guess I better get started on breakfast. Hopefully, this environment doesn't break me fast.

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"A spacequake was recorded early this morning near the center of Tengu City."  Relayed the TV Shidou's Imouto was watching intently while sitting on the couch and eating a lollipop.

Spacequake? I'm guessing that's what this anime revolves around... Following standard anime conventions, the first episode would usually have a brief exposition dump to get the viewer accustomed to the world. I'm guessing this is its way of delivering it. Still, though, I wonder what a spacequake is and how it'll tie into the main plo- oh shit I'm gonna burn this.

Shidou quickly grabbed the pan and moved it away from the stove. He quickly scooped the contents of the pan out and placed them onto a plate. Thankfully for Shidou, the omelet and bacon strips weren't burnt.

Oh thank God they're ok. Wouldn't want to fuck up on the first episode. Weird how I can recall how to cook but can't recall who my 'sister' is. This body seems to remember how to cook, but not anything else. At least I know this guy had his priorities straight, even body-snatching doesn't seem to have made this body as bad a cook as I am. 

Shidou set up two plates and signaled to his Imouto that breakfast was made. Shidou's Imouto perked up and the news and excitedly rushed over to the kitchen table to sit down. She began energetically scarfing down her meal while Shidou stared at her with an uneasy expression.

Cute. Still, though, I wish I could remember her name. How come I get the one body that doesn't come with any memories? Or at least important ones since for some reason I can recall how to cook. It's inconvenient that I can't remember anything beyond that. And it's not like I can just ask for her name. She said earlier that we'd need to go to school, but I don't know the location of either, and even If I did figure that out I still wouldn't know what class I'm in. I have little to no information beyond these little tidbits I've been able to piece together. Hopefully, I run into a girl carrying toast in her mouth so I can follow her and hopefully fin-

"Hey, Onii-chan!" Shidou's Imouto called out to Shidou, breaking his train of thought and causing him to turn his full  attention to her. "Aw, geez. I've been talking to you and you haven't responded. Are you even listening?" She pouted.

Cute.

"Aw sorry about that. I zoned out there." Shidou apologized while rubbing the back of his head with one hand. "What were you saying?"

"Sheesh Onii-chan, you're being weird today." She said before crawling up onto the table and pointing her index finger at Shidou. "Listen up! I was asking you about what we'd have for lunch."

Lunch huh?

"I don't know." Shidou shrugged before biting down on a piece of toast. He seemed to contemplate the idea for a while. "Uh… why don't you pick?"

His Imouto's eyes lit up at the prospect of being able to choose what they'd both have for lunch. She quickly scrambled off the table and exaggeratedly jumped in the air with her arms out before yelling. "Well in that case I'll have one Deluxe Kid Plate!"

Cool uh… where do I get that?

"Sure but uh… where do I find that?" Shidou asked anxiously while silently hoping the term wasn't supposed to be common knowledge to him.

"They have it at that diner. Did you forget where it is?" She looked at Shidou, puzzled. "Well, that's ok! I'll show you where it is on our way to school." She cheerily said before running from the kitchen.

Shidou quickly finished his meal and moved to follow where his Imouto had gone. He found her by the entrance to the house, or in this instance the exit, wearing a backpack and putting on shoes. Once she finished, she looked back and saw Shidou staring at her. She stood at the entrance looking at Shidou expectantly.

"What are you waiting for Onii Chan?" She tilted her head in confusion. "Aren't we going?"

"What?" He asked dazedly before realization dawned on him. "Oh yes! Just a moment!" He yelled before quickly moving to get his bag and shoes.

Oh boy… here we go.

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Shidou and his 'sister' stood in front of a diner bearing bright red letters outlined in white on its front side spelling out 'Danny's'.

So this is it? A Denny's? They have those here?! 

Shidou turned to look at his 'sister'.

Would it have killed you to have at least chosen an IHOP?

"This is it! One Deluxe Kid Plate! " Shidou's Imouto excitedly exclaimed. "I love eating out. Thank you so much Onii-Chan!"

"Uh… yeah you're welcome. There's no need to be so excited though. It's just a Denny's" Shidou replied.

Shidou's Imouto pouted at his remark.

Cute.

"Ok!" She said as she reclaimed her luster. "So after school, I'll be waiting right here in front of the restaurant."

"Sounds good," Shidou replied.

Shidou's Imouto suddenly gained a stern expression.

"Don't forget your promise! Be here no matter what happens! Even if the place is taken over by terrorists we'll still eat!" She boldly proclaimed.

"Sure," Shidou said nonchalantly, bringing a smile to his Imouto's face.

Who's gonna let a little terrorism get between a man and his (totally not blood-related) sister's lunch? Lord be damned if we're gonna let Isis stop us from enjoying a 'meal' at anime Denny's. It's our God-given right to eat at Denny's. …Honestly, she's so cute when she talks about Denny's. It makes me wanna give her a head pat. She does have a very head pat-able head after all.

Shidou reached his hand out and placed it on his 'sister's' head before ruffling her hair. Why wouldn't he? She did have a very head pat-able head after all. His 'sister' seemed to enjoy the gesture as she beamed under the affection.

"Hey isn't that Shidou Itsuka?" A voice called out from across the street.

"Don't they seem too close? Cause I've heard he's got a weird sister complex." Another voice asked.

"That's so lame." A third voice gave their input.

Well, then bitch tell me something I don't know. Is this one of 'those' anime? How affectionate was this guy that he already has rumors about him wanting to fuck his sister spreading around already? Also, one called me by my name. Does that mean that I'm not some different guy? But merely another version of me from another timeline? An alternate Shidou Itsuka? That isn't too far-fetched. The multiverse is a big place. Of course, there would be a universe out there where I'm the protagonist of a harem anime. But why did this guy feel the need to share the suffering with the one Shidou who hates harem anime with a burning passion? Is a bored god playing with me or something?

Shidou's Imouto ran a few meters in front of Shidou before turning around and waving back to him.

"Don't forget you promised me! So I'm gonna be here, ready to eat, even if a spacequake happens!" She said cheekily before running off.

Yeah sure I'll show up. If terrorists can't even get between us and our undying love for Denny's, then I'm certain a spacequake won't even pose a challenge… Whatever a spacequake is anyways.

Shidou waved at his sister as her figure disappeared into the distance before his waving was abruptly stopped by a hand grabbing his wrist from behind.

AH! MOLESTER!

Shidou quickly turned around and yanked his wrist free from his unknown assailant. His assailant, as it turned out was a spiky-haired boy wearing the same uniform as him. He looked somewhat amused at Shidou's overreaction.

"Well hey there Shidou, didn't mean to startle you." He chuckled. "You ready for the semester?"

Who the fuck is this dude…? Oh wait… never mind he's the best friend character. Only relevant for one episode and then completely forgotten about. Most are real homies though, hopefully, this guy is the same.

"Have you also heard the rumors about that guy?" A voice called out.

"Yeah, he swings both ways as they say." Another voice replied.

"That's so lame." A third voice gave their input.

"I'M NOT GAY!" Shidou screamed at the three gossiping girls. He pointed at the owner of the third voice, a girl with glasses and dark purple hair that matched her eyes. "AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY!"

"Chill out man. Don't let them get to you." Shidou's 'friend' placed his hand on his shoulder in an attempt to calm him down.

The three girls gave them smug looks, much to their ire.

Bitches man.

The owner of the first voice, a blonde girl with yellow eyes, turned her head away from the duo to look at something in the distance. Shidou quickly followed her gaze and saw another girl with short white hair run out from behind a stoplight.

"Are you ok Ai?" The owner of the second voice, a girl with short brown hair and brown eyes, asked the blonde.

"No, I'm perfect," Ai replied sarcastically. "I think I just saw Supergenius creepin'."

 

Creepin'? Supergenius? …What even is my life right now?

"That's so lame."

Oh for fu-

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Shidou's ignorance didn't simply apply to people's names. He also had no sense of direction. After his 'sister' had left him to go to her own school, Shidou followed his 'friend' and the trio of gossiping girls to his high school, as Shidou didn't know where it was. Unfortunately, though, Shidou had no clue as to where his classroom was, but due to something he 'subbed' his 'anime intuition', he was able to surmise that he shared a class with his 'friend'. His intuition was correct, as upon entering the classroom he immediately took notice of a desk in the back corner labeled with his name. The desk in front of him featured his 'friend's' name.

So, his name is Tonomachi. Thank god the teachers put all our names next to our desks. If they hadn't, I don't know how long it would've taken to find out his name. I have surprisingly good intuition, guess all those late nights spent watching anime weren't a total waste after all. This is all just too predictable.

"But really, what a coincidence this is, Shidou." Tonomachi held his forehead with one hand. "Being in your class once again makes me believe that we are fated to be together." 

"See, now you saying shit like that is the reason people think we're gay," Shidou said.

Tonomachi clicked his tongue thrice. "This is just camaraderie my dear Shidou. Tell me, is it gay to-" 

Tonomachi was cut off by his phone going off in his pocket. He pulled it out to see what it was about.

"Oh, excuse me, it's my girlfriend," Tonomachi said as he scrolled through his phone.

He has a girlfriend? The best friend character has a girlfriend? Impossible.

"You have a girlfriend?" Shidou asked skeptically. 

"Yeah, here let me introduce you," Tonomachi said before turning the phone screen toward Shidou.

What Shidou saw on the screen was not a human woman, as one would expect, but rather a PNG of an pink haired anime girl with pigtails.

"That's from a dating sim." Shidou deadpanned.

This guy.

"Oh don't be so closed-minded. A girlfriend is a girlfriend, real or not." Tonomachi said, holding his phone closer to Shidou's face. "These games teach the user all they need to know about interacting with women. They're practically textbooks on dating."

If that were true, I'd already be swimming in bitches. 

"Itsuka Shidou." A voice called out, grabbing the attention of both Shidou and Tonomachi. It was the same girl he'd seen running out of that stoplight. She had pale white skin, shoulder-length silver-white hair, and blue eyes. She wore a blank expression.

Spoke too soon. I don't know my relationship with this chick, so I'll just act chummy for now.

"Oh hey, you're in this class too?" Shidou feigned surprise. 

"Yes." The girl responded.

"Yeah, It's …uh been a while huh?" Shidou said, hoping he didn't sound too awkward.

"A few years," She said monotonously before abruptly sitting down in the chair next to Shidou. "I'll be sitting next to you." 

"So it seems…" Shidou said awkwardly.

God this is so awkward… If I recall correctly the name on that desk was Origami. As for what compelled her parents to name her after the art of paper folding, beats me. Also 'a few years'? Does that mean this is our first meeting in a while? That must mean she's the childhood friend character. It follows standard anime conventions. Two childhood friends who haven't seen each other in years finally meet again. Plus, it explains why I saw her "creepin" earlier. She probably recognized me.

Shidou silently scrutinized the mysterious girl.

Judging by her blank demeanor, she must be the resident kuudere of the show.

"How do you know the super genius?" Tonomachi whispered to Shidou incredulously.

Super genius huh? That must mean she's also incredibly smart on top it all, probably top of the class. A cold beauty then.

"...Uh childhood friends?" Shidou nervously replied, hoping his assessment of Origami was correct.

"This is the first I've heard of this! You've been keeping me in the dark?!" Tonomachi looked heartbroken, before suddenly coming to a realization and grinning. "Oh, I get it now. You didn't want me to steal her away from you with my dashing good looks?" He chuckled. "Well, you don't have to worry, I'd never cheat on my sweetheart after all." He accentuated the last comment by holding out his phone, displaying his 'girlfriend'.

Tonomachi turned to look at Origami before looking back at Shidou and lightly punching his shoulder. "Go get 'em, tiger."

"Don't ever say that to me again." Shidou sternly replied.

He does have a point though... As a harem protagonist, it's inevitable that I'll have to charm my fair share of women. Whether I like it or not. Maybe I should try talking to her. The plot will probably force me to either way. Might as well start now.

The bell rang, causing everyone who was standing up to immediately sit down, including Tonomachi. Soon after, a woman with light brown middle-length hair entered the classroom. The boys cheered and made a scene.

Yeah, she's hot.

"Settle down class," the teacher said. "My name is Tamae Okamine and I will be your homeroom teacher for the year."

"Alright! We got Tama-chan this year!" Tonomachi loudly whispered. A few boys within hearing distance silently nodded their heads.

That's a cute nickname for a teacher. She doesn't have too forgettable of an appearance. Could she also be a harem member? Let's see now. Childhood friend, check. Hot teacher, check. I wonder who's next? The yandere? The Loli Hag? Twincest? The queen bee? The oneesama? The airhead? Oh right, I forgot that I also have a sister… ok, now that one I am not on board with. 

Shidou idly glanced to his left, noticing Origami staring at him.

Looks like she's creepin' again. Women, amirite?

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Alright, Operation Rizz Lord is a go.

Shidou prepares to get up from his seat to attempt to talk to Origami…

Tonomachi stood by Shidou's desk. "Hey Shidou, if you're not busy, wanna grab lunch together?"

…only to be abruptly stopped by Tonomachi.

Goddamnit! Mission failed, we'll get 'em next time… Lunch huh? That reminds me… I still have to eat at Denny's. 

"Sorry Tonomachi, no can do." Shidou dramatically apologized. "I already have plans."

Tonomachi made an exaggerated gesture. "You do? Wait…" He turned to look at Origami, who was still sitting at the desk next to Shidou. "Don't tell me it's with a girl."

No, it's not her. No thanks to you.

"Yeah," Shidou started, surprising Tonomachi with his forwardness. "But it's my sister."

And it's at Denny's…

"Oh, so it's just Kotori." He lightly laughed, breathing a sigh of relief. "Don't scare me like that Shidou."

Ah, finally! I got her name! Also, what do you mean by 'don't scare me'? It's no wonder people think we're gay!

The blaring of a loud noise abruptly halted any further comment by Shidou. A voice came over the school speakers announcing that a spacequake had been detected in the area. It was the spacequake alarm going off.

The incredibly loud spacequake alarm.

"Jesus Christ."

Shidou flinched at the loud noise. A large part of him was nervous at what a spacequake would entail, but a small part of him was relieved.

If a spacequake is happening… then that means I don't have to eat at Denny's anymore! I know Kotori  said she'd show up even if a spacequake happened, but there's no way she actually meant that. Plus her school wouldn't allow her to just up and leave during a natural disaster. That'd be highly irresponsible. Plus, if they actually allowed it I'd sue their ass into the ground. I hope she's ok though.

All the students in the classroom lined up and were quickly ushered out the door and into the hallway by Tama-chan. Shidou followed their example, moving out into the hallway, but stopped upon noticing a flicker of white moving in the opposite direction. 

"Origami! That's the wrong way!" Shidou called out to her and gestured to the line of students. A large part of him felt rather stupid for correcting a supposed super genius, but it was instinctive given the situation.

Who disappears during a natural disaster? You're gonna get yourself killed!

Origami looked back, acknowledging Shidou's shout. "I'll be fine." Was all she had to say in reply before continuing her run. She eventually disappeared behind a corner.

No, you won't! 

Shidou mentally pulled out his hair.

You just signed your own death flag! I'm an anime veteran and I know how this will play out! A character death in the first episode is absolutely something that can and will happen! I watched Tokyo Ravens. I know how this goes!

Shidou looked back at the line of students being ushered along by Tama-chan.

"C-C-Calm down everyone! No pushing! No shoving! No running! Uwah!" Tama-chan led the group down the corridor. Ironically, out of everyone present, she was the only one panicking. Well, at least the only one visibly panicking, as Shidou's mind was in a similar state.

What do I do? …Do I follow her? Or do I follow Origami to make sure she doesn't die?

"Hey Shidou, you okay man?" Tonomachi turned when he saw Shidou hadn't followed them. He looked visibly concerned. Shidou steeled himself and came to a decision.

I can't just let her die.

And with that thought crossing his mind, Shidou turned and ran in the direction Origami had gone in earlier.

"Hey Shidou! Where are you going?!" Tonomachi called out as Shidou ran.

"To take a shit!" Shidou replied instinctively as he ran.

At least I don't have to go to Denny's…

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Ok… maybe I got too ahead of myself. I don't even know where she went.

Shidou frantically wandered around aimlessly throughout the empty town. There were no cars. There were no people. Around Shidou stood within a ghost town, and he might as well have been searching for a ghost based on his luck with finding Origami. 

How far could one girl have gone in such a short time? No wait, scratch that. I'm in an anime now. I shouldn't hold it to normal standards… which means that she's long gone and I'll probably only find her when it's too late… great.

Shidou's self-reflection would've continued for at most three more paragraphs, but it was cut short by a loud explosion. 

Wha-?

A large black sphere appeared in the middle of the town, it slowly expanded and released a shockwave that sent Shidou flying like a ragdoll.

Whee!

Shidou didn't remain airborne for long. Just as quickly as it had left it, Shidou's body soon returned to Earth. With an audible thud, Shidou's body hit the pavement.

Standing up, Shidou groaned "My back…". He tried to stand up straighter and heard a loud crackling noise, which caused even more discomfort, "Ooh my back!".

That was a spacequake? That shit sent me flying and-

Shidou looked upon the area that the black orb had previously occupied and was shocked by what he saw. The buildings, roads, cars, streets, and a large portion of the ground were gone. The area the black orb consumed had been erased, seemingly from existence, leaving a sizable crater in its wake.

It… it fucking vaporized everything?! Sorry Origami… but if you didn't run after seeing that… it's just natural selection at that point.

And with that final thought crossing his mind, Shidou immediately turned to run from the ongoing chaos. Unfortunately, a foreign object fell from the sky, halting his withdrawal and grabbing his attention.

What the hell is it now?

 What appeared to be a throne made of brass with an intricate design etched into it landed in the center of the crater. The throne was interesting, but it was not what grabbed Shidou's attention. Next to the throne is stood something, or rather, someone. A girl with long dark hair stood next to the throne. She wore a dress adorned with a set of purple and cream-plated armor which covered her shoulders and waist. She wore her hair up using some kind of butterfly-shaped ribbon and the hem of her skirt appeared to glow bright purple. The most striking thing about the girl was the giant sword she was holding.

Oh no… Its… Its… a woman.

The woman noticed Shidou staring down at her from above and, understandably, reacted violently. In one swift motion, the girl swung her sword, creating a shockwave that narrowly missed Shidou. 

Yeah, I'm calling it now, when she eventually falls in love with me we'll all end up laughing about this moment together. That is… if she even is a future harem member.

"You too?"

One moment, the Sword Girl was standing in the middle of the crater next to the throne. The next moment, Sword Girl was standing in front of Shidou, pointing her sword at him. If her face was any indication, she was pissed.

She looks cute when she's mad… which means she's about to get real gorgeous in a few moments.

"You're here to kill me, aren't you?" Sword Girl pointed her sword at Shidou. "If that's the case, I will finish you here and now."

"What…" Shidou started, genuinely confused by the girls question. "...the hell are you talking about? I'd never kill someone!"

Unless they're a furry.

"What?" Sword Girl seemed confused by the proclamation.

"I… uh I actually came here to stop someone from dying! You might've seen her actually! She's got short white hair and blue eyes. I came here to save her." Shidou nervously informed Sword Girl.

"It seems someone finally realized the futility of it all." Sword Girl said before bringing her sword above Shidou, as if readying a swing. "But if you're acquainted with 'her', that makes you my enemy."

Her tone expressed hostility, but her face showed nothing but melancholy.

Why does she look so depressed? Is killing me that awful of an experience, or am I just so ugly I automatically give people who look at me depression? Looks like she's gonna kill me. What do I do now? Looks like I have no choice.

Tears formed around Shidou's eyes as he dropped to the floor and prostrated. "Please don't fucking kill me!" Shidou cried profusely, like a little bitch, and begged for his life, like a little bitch.

"...Eh?" Sword Girl seemed genuinely confused by this development.

If I cry like a little bitch and look as pathetic as possible, she'll hopefully pity me enough to spare me. You're not the only one who can pull the depression card, two can play that game.

"Hey… you… stop that!" Sword Girl lost her earlier bravado and awkwardly tried to calm Shidou down. Her shouting only served to make his begging increase.

"You… very well then. I'll spare you. …Just stop doing that!" She ordered.

Heh. I win.

"Run along." Sword Girl ordered while stabbing her sword into the ground. "Otherwise I might change my mi-". She stopped talking and turned away from Shidou and looked towards the sky.

Are those… people?

Shidou followed Sword Girl's gaze and saw humans wearing mechanical suits of armor flying in the sky.

Now there's mechs? What the fuck is this show about? I'm so confused.

Shidou didn't have time to be confused for long, as the flying humans sent a volley of missiles in his direction.

Oh shit.

Shidou turned to run, but the missiles were faster. Luckily though, the missiles floated a few feet away from Sword Girl. They were being held back, most likely by some form of invisible barrier. Sword Girl held her hand out towards the immobile missiles, causing them to explode.

"Why don't you realize the futility of it all." Sword Girl spoke bitterly. 

Sword Girl pointed her sword up at the people and swung, a purple slash of energy shot out from the blade and moved towards them. The wind howled as it was torn apart by the ensuing shockwave.

The people in the air scattered like flies at the show of force, but did not let the attack deter them. Not unlike flies.

A blast of light impacting with Sword Girl's barrier caught Shidou's attention. One of the people in the mech suits had attacked Sword Girl's barrier with a laser, which didn't really do anything. 

Of course there's lasers. What is this? Star Wars?

Shidou remained unscathed from the ongoing 'battle' in front of him. He had remained wholly dedicated to staying as close to Sword Girl as he could to avoid becoming collateral. Running was always an option, but with the ongoing explosions, lasers, and missiles going on around him, the spot Shidou was standing in was, ironically, the safest place he could be despite the fact that he was standing next to the target of said lasers and missiles.

Hehe, I'm in danger.

Shidou heard something land close to him, the first thing he saw was machinery. The second thing he saw was a girl in a very eye-catching bodysuit donning said machinery. Said girl had blue eyes and white hair, as well as a sword with a sword with a blade made out of energy in her left hand.

I was only joking about the Star Wars thing. But now they have lightsabers? Wait a minute, isn't that…?

"Origami?"

"Shidou Itsuka?" She glanced over at Shidou's call. Despite her impassive face, it was fairly obvious that she was surprised to see him here.

So that's why she ran away. To fight the chick I've been using as a shield. Are these people military? Following standard anime conventions, child soldiers would make sense.

Shidou didn't get the chance to ask any questions, as Origami focused her attention on Sword Girl. Sword Girl swung her sword at Origami, to which Origami countered with her own blade. 

The two blades crossed, creating a massive shockwave. And this time, Shidou had no cover to hide behind.

 

Not again!

The girls separated and moved to the air, parrying each other's blades in the sky. They rushed towards each other, blades at the ready, and when they met they created a shockwave strong enough to blow Shidou into the air.

Oh… so this is how I die. Well, at least I know she was ok… This is what I get for trying to be something I'm not huh… so much for being a hero.

The moment Shidou hit the pavement, everything went black.

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"At last, we meet again." A voice called out to him

"Huh…? Who's there? Mom?" He responded.

"I'm so happy." The voice exclaimed.

"Cool, I guess?" He replied.

"But please, just wait a little longer." The voice asked.

"Oh I know what this is! This is an anime dream sequence! Oh great… even my dreams are cliche." He exclaimed.

"I won't ever let you go. I won't ever make a mistake again." The voice proclaimed.

"Stop being ambiguous and tell me what I'm supposed to do already!" He called out.

"So…" The voice trailed off.

"What's the point of doing all this if I'm not even gonna remember this?! What's the point of this?! Hey get back here dammit! I want answers!"

But they never came.

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Shidou once again awoke to yet another unfamiliar ceiling. A bright light hung over his head. A hospital ceiling, Shidou surmised.

I feel like I'm forgetting something.

"Looks like you're awake." A voice called out to him.

"Huh? Who are you?" He replied.

A sleepy looking woman stood by Shidou's bedside. She wore a military uniform that held a scarred stuffed bear in its left breast pocket. Sleepy was an understatement, she looked as if she hadn't slept for a year as the bags under her eyes were almost black. She had long, pale blue, unkempt hair that was tied up into a ponytail. She wore a pair of glasses with a circular frame.

Yeah, she's hot.

"I'm the analysis officer here, Murasame Reine." She said monotonously. "There's no need to worry. I may not be a doctor, but I can take care of basic nursing."

Like that's any consolation. I just woke up in a strange place and I'm not being looked over by a legit doctor? Well, if I died I could at least say it happened next to a beautiful lady.

"Well, if I'm being looked over by such a beautiful woman. I guess I'd have to no choice but to get better. I wouldn't want you to sully your face with grief." Shidou said.

God that was so corny.

Shidou didn't notice it, but a small twinge of a smile appeared on Reine's face.

"So where the hell am I?" Shidou asked.

"Fraxinus' sickbay." Reine responded. "We brought you here while you were unconscious."

Fraxinus'? Is that like a ship? It sure as hell doesn't sound like the name of a hospital. Whatever this place is, it has a kickass name.

"What is that? And why am I not in a hospital?" Shidou asked.

Don't tell me I saw something I shouldn't have and now they're gonna silence me. Whatever this place is, it has something to do with that girl with that big ass sword.

"I know there are plenty of things you would like to know, but I'm not the person who can explain them to you. The commander will answer any questions you have." She said before getting up and leaving the room, gesturing to Shidou to follow.

Commander? So I'm talking to the head honcho of this joint? Hopefully he can give me an exposition dump because I could really use one right now after all that's happened.

Reine led Shidou through various metal corridors, all of which possessed automatic doors, further lending credence to Shidou's theory of him being in some sort of ship. Eventually, Reine and Shidou reached a door that had automatically opened, revealing a man with wavy blonde hair. 

"I brought him." Reine informed the man as she stepped inside, Shidou followed her in.

Shidou now found himself in what appeared to be the bridge of a ship, proving Shidou's theory correct. The floor spread out in a half oval. Positioned in the middle was what appeared to be a captain's chair. There was a lower level in which crew members could be seen working.

"Thank you." The man thanked Reine before turning to Shidou. "Hello there, I'm the vice commander Kannazuki Kyouhei. A pleasure to meet you." He bowed lightly.

"A pleasure…" Shidou responded.

Shidou turned to look at the captains chair right as it spun around, revealing the commander of this mysterious vessel. It was a young girl with red hair and red eyes. She wore her hair up in pigtails held up by two black ribbons. Shidou recognized the girl.

Ain't no way. My sister?!

The commander of the Fraxinus' was Itsuka Kotori.

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Kotori was giddy with excitement. No scratch that. She was ecstatic. A large part of her chastised herself for acting so childish, but she simply couldn't help herself. Today was the day. The day in which she would tell Shidou of his role in making the spirits fall in love with him. But that wasn't what she was excited about. Today was also the day she finally revealed herself as the commander of the Fraxinus'. She could only imagine the surprise on Shidou's face when he finds out that his sister, who he viewed as childish, was actually the highly respected commander of the Fraxinus'. The shock on his face would be golden. Kotori sat in her commander chair, facing away from the entrance, so as to spin around and dramatically reveal herself like a supervillain the moment Shidou entered. She had planned this reveal thoroughly, and all her hard work was about to come to fruition.

"I brought him." Kotori heard Reine say from behind her.

Oh the anticipation is killing me.

"Thank you." She heard Kannazuki respond, and proceeded to introduce himself to someone, though Kotori already knew who.

Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry up! I can't wait!

"A pleasure…" She finally heard Shidou's voice, the signal for her to reveal herself.

I can't wait to see the look on his face.

With as much dramatic flair as a mob boss, Kotori spun around in her chair, revealing her presence to Shidou.

Hah! Look at the look on your face! Bet you didn't expect this, huh Shidou? Wait…. You're… not surprised…?

Shidou's eyes widened slightly, but apart from that he didn't show any reaction to having found out his sister was living a double life. Not surprise nor confusion. He looked impassive, or unimpressed. Even a tad bit calculative, but not surprised or bewildered. Shidou wouldn't normally act like this.

Eh…? Why's he not surprised?

"Hmm? Why aren't you surprised?" Kotori asked, trying to find some semblance of an explanation for why her flawless plan failed spectacularly. "You know, most big brothers would show more of a reaction in this situation." 

And I was really looking forward to seeing his face…

"Well… I would normally be more surprised, but eccentric siblings are pretty normal in anime. Uh… don't get me wrong!" Shidou frantically waved his arms around, looking like he said something he shouldn't have. "It's unexpected for sure! But uh… I'm kinda used to things like this." 

Shidou wasn't surprised… because he watches anime? Does Shidou watch anime? But what does that have to do with this situation? Is he a chuunibyou? He did try making his own manga in middle school, but I thought he grew out of that. 

"But this is reality… why are you bringing anime into…" Kotori said dejectedly, before remembering she had an appearance to uphold and quickly recovered. "Nevermind… Ahem, welcome to my command center, the Ratatoskr." She accentuated the last part by putting a lollipop in her mouth.

My plan failed… a pity. But I have to move on. Let's get started on Shidou's orientation.

Kotori turned her gaze to the front of the room, Shidou followed it. A screen popped up at the front of the command center. It displayed a picture of Princess, the spirit who Shidou referred to as Sword Girl.

"These things are known as Spirits, which we just lost." The photo on the display changed, showing the crater Princess left behind when she appeared. "In other words, she disappeared. And this-"

"Um… ok cool but what the hell is a spirit? What's Ratatoskr? Why are you a commander? And who were those mech people?* Shidou interrupted.

Rude... I was talking.

Kotori sighed "You're already making the commander give you a personal explanation. You should be shedding tears of joy for such an honor, not disregarding my generosity to ask needless questions." Kotori chided before gaining a smug look. "For now, I'll give you the privilege of licking my feet." 

"R-Really?!" Kannazuki enthusiastically asked.

Ew no!

"Not you!" Kotori yelled as she drove her elbow into his gut.

"Th-Thank you!" Kannazuki yelled out in pleasure, donning a look of pure euphoria at Kotori's assault. He fell back and writhed on the floor in pure ecstasy.

Euegh.

"And I thought he was a decent person." Kotori heard Shidou mumble. He had a look of pure disgust on his face.

Me too Onii-chan… me too.

Kotori sighed and looked at Shidou. "I know you have a lot of questions, and we'll fill you in on the details later. But for now, I want you to understand this." She pointed to the display showing a picture of Princess. "She is a Spirit, a being that did not originally exist in this world. So by coming here they can't help but blow the area up."

"Like me after I eat at Chipotle?" Shidou asked.

"Erm… Yes?" Kotori replied before clearing her throat. "Ahem, what I'm trying to say is that the phenomenon known as spacequakes are caused by Spirits such as this one coming to Earth."

Kotori waved her hand, which held a lollipop, and the screen showing Princess changed to now display a picture of people flying in mech suits.

"These are the AST. They're Japan's Self-Defense Force's  Anti Spirit Team. When a Spirit appears, these guys fly in and deal with the situation. Basically, they slaughter them."

"Who would've guessed…" Shidou sarcastically mumbled. "So that's why she thought I was going to kill her…" He whispered.

Huh, I expected him to be more horrified by this news. What's going on with me? Usually I'm able to predict how he'd react…

"Finally some lore… everything is making sense now." Shidou whispered, relieved.

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But he still had one question.

My 'sister'. This ship. Ratatoskr. Where do they fit into this? She's talked about everyone else, yet omitted what I'm the most curious about.

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"There is one other method to deal with Spirits, apart from the AST." Kotori revealed. 

Shidou looked at Kotori, intrigued.

Hook.

"However, it requires your help." Kotori said.

Line.

Now to reveal your mission Shidou, nay, your role in saving the Spirits… just as you saved me…

"Figured." Shidou said. "So what do I-" 

And sinker.

"You'll begin training tomorrow." Kotori said as Kannazuki got back up from the floor and stood by her side. "I'll have someone do the paperwork for you, but for now, you should go to school like-"

"No no no, wait hold on. What is this alternate method? And why does it need me? And what's this training? I haven't agreed to anything yet." Shidou interrupted with rapid fire questions.

I appreciate your caution Onii-chan, but you'll end up agreeing anyway. It's just how you are… well it's my fault for expecting him to just go along with all this. Still, his rapid questions are starting to irk me.

Kotori roughly stamped her foot down on Kannazuki's, evoking a groan of pleasure from him as he fell to the floor once again.

"I didn't ask for your input." Kotori stated. "I'll take nothing other than 'Yes,' from you." Kotori doubled down while looking at Shidou with a slight pout.

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Fuck. She's cute. But I'm still not letting her have her way.

"I'm not-" Shidou started.

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"I know you're an idiot," Kotori interrupted. "But why were you outside? Got a death wish?"

Seriously, that was the height of stupidity. But it sure made our job easier.

"With a sister like you? I just might." Kotori knew that was a joke, but still felt slightly hurt by it nonetheless. "But no, I ran out because I was looking for someone who ran out when the spacequake started. I thought they were going to die, so I tried following them."

Classic Shidou. Always trying to help someone in need.

"Humph, so you were trying to be a hero huh?" Kotori rhetorically asked. "Tell me, did you succeed in helping this person?"

"No… they were part of that mech squad… the NFT or whatever." Shidou looked at the ground in shame.

"The AST." Kotori corrected. "So you tried to be a hero, and failed miserably. Did I get that right?" Kotori asked.

I'll need to root out this reckless behavior if he's going to be dealing with Spirits. Better he be ashamed than dead.

"Ye-Yes…" Shidou said sullenly.

Humph. Stupid reckless Shidou.

Kotori sighed. "Alright, we'll get the paperwork settled. We'll send you back home. You can just act normally until we call you to begin your trai-"

"No. I'm not agreeing to anything unless I see the terms and conditions of what you're trying to forcing on me."  Shidou interrupted. "You've yet to tell me what this 'alternate method' even entails. For all I know you guys could be trying to enslave the Spirits. You've yet to state that this group of yours doesn't plan on harming them."

What?! We would never do that! 

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I know what I accused them of is probably not true. All the plot point arrows are pointing towards this being a group aimed towards helping these Spirits, who conveniently just so happen to look like women. But I need some more info before proceeding. I mean, I know I'm not that smart. But…

"What kind of idiot would sign a contract they know nothing about?" Shidou asked.

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I was hoping that idiot would be you… sigh. It's nice to know that he at least cares about the Spirits. That's a good sign.

Kotori glanced briefly at Reine.

And why are you smiling so hard?

Kotori furrowed her brows.

Since when was Shidou so smart? If I keep trying to brush off his arguments… he'll become uncooperative, and we can't have that. This entire operation needs Shidou to function… If Shidou doesn't have the desire to interact with Spirits, then supporting him will be useless. I guess I have no choice. No matter, I'm certain he'll agree after hearing everything. He's Shidou after all.

"Alright, fine. I'll explain the logistics." Kotori conceded. "But first answer me this, you wouldn't want to hurt or kill the Spirits, would you?"

"No." Shidou responded resolutely.

Good. We're off to a good start. Shidou doesn't want harm to come to the Spirits.

"But if we let them be, more spacequakes will occur." Kotori said. "So, wouldn't it be better to persuade them instead? To make them stop rampaging they'll have to learn to love the world."

Shidou silently nodded.

"Well, have you ever heard the saying 'The world looks much better when you're in love?'" Kotori asked.

Now to drop the bombshell…

Shidou hesitantly nodded.

"For them to come to love this world..." Kotori started, pointing a finger at Shidou. "You have to romance them and make them fall in love with you! And our job is to support you in that endeavor."

Shidou's eyes widened in shock.

Heh. That's the face I was looking for earlier.

Kotori smirked. "Now that I've given you the answers you wanted, we can get-"

"I refuse." Shidou stated.

What.

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Shidou sighed deeply.

So this anime is like The World God Only Knows. Thanks for revealing what the plot revolves around Kotori.

Shidou took a deep breath.

So basically there are these girls, which are known as Spirits, and their existence causes destruction. In order to make them stop I have to make them fall in love with me. But if you really think about it, you realize just how fucked up that premise is. I'm basically being asked to manipulate a group of women into falling in love with me for the sake of… saving them? Saving the world? Either way I'm manipulating them. Doing it for a good cause doesn't really justify it. Sword Girl's situation is nothing new. I've seen it a dozen times before. A lonely girl who is rejected by everyone. Except for one person, the protagonist. Or in this case, me. The plot wants me? To manipulate this emotionally damaged girl into falling in love with me? Maybe this Shidou could stomach it on account of being a harem protagonist. But me? No. Anime world or not. I'm not compromising on my morals. I would like to help them, but not like this. 

Kotori looked shocked by Shidou's refusal. In fact, everyone did. Reine's face was the most expressive it would ever be, and Kannazuki stopped writhing on the floor after hearing him say no.

"What?! Why?!" Kotori asked, stunned by Shidou's blunt refusal.

"You really thought I'd agree to this?" Shidou asked. "You're asking me to manipulate these girls into falling in love with me. And I can't, in good conscience, do that." 

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Kotori Itsuka was panicking internally.

Shidou refused? Shidou can't refuse! This entire group depends on him wanting to help the Spirits! I was certain he'd accept! Knowing him, he wouldn't be able to help himself in a situation where someone is in need. He even went out during a spacequake because he thought someone was in danger for crying out loud! So why…?

Shidou appeared to have caught on to Kotoris thoughts.

"You really thought I'd agree to this?" Shidou asked. "You're asking me to manipulate these girls into falling in love with me. And I can't, in good conscience, do that." 

Oh Shidou… you're just too kind for your own good.

Kotori turned to look at Reine, then down at Kannazuki, who was still on the ground. Both had uneasy expressions on their faces.

What do we do now? How can we convince Shidou to help… 

"There's definitely another way of making the Spirits fall in love with the world." Shidou said resolutely.

Kotori grew even more uneasy.

Me and my big mouth… I just had to tell him that the way to make them stop rampaging involved making them fall in love with the world. There's no other way. Only Shidou can seal a Spirit's power. And to do that he needs to get them to open their hearts to him. Other options were never on the table. This is the only option.

Kotori bit her bottom lip.

I have no choice. I'll have to tell him about his ability, hopefully he doesn't question how I know this.

"Unfortunately, there is no alternative, Shidou. The only way to stop a Spirit from causing a spacequake is by sealing their power. Which is something only you can do." Kotori took a deep breath. "I know this makes you uncomfortable, but this is the only way."

Shidou looked horrified at being given this news.

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Shit. Shit. Shit. I feel stupid for not even considering this. Fuck, I'm such an idiot. Of course there would be some bullshit reason as to why only the protagonist could do this. This is the curse of the harem protagonist, they don't have a choice in whether or not they form a harem. Obviously I don't want anyone to die. But at the same time I don't want to play with people's feelings. What should I do? Manipulate them and save their lives? Or should I do nothing and let them die? Both options are shit, but one doesn't involve anyone dying.

Shidou mentally slammed his face into a wall. Kotori picked up on his conflicted thoughts.

"I know you're having conflicting thoughts." Kotori said. "So we'll give you some time to make your decision. We'll reconvene at a later date."

"Ok… thank you" Shidou gratefully said.

I need some time to mull this over.

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Shidou sat in class, entered in deep thought.

It's been two days since I left that airship, and I haven't gotten any news from Kotori. Its leaving me feeling uneasy. Speaking of uneasy…

Shidou turned to his right, glancing at Origami. She was staring at him with the same blank face she always wears.

I've been avoiding her since the day I first arrived here. I can't bring myself to talk to her without thinking about how miserably I failed when I tried to 'save' her. I do want answers regarding her affiliation with those mech people, but the shame…

The bell rung as Tama-chan entered the classroom.

"Um… although it's only been two days since the term started, we'll be having a new assistant homeroom teacher with us." Tama-chan informed the class.

Yeah… that is pretty weird. But this is an anime. Weird should be expect-

The new assistant teacher walked into the classroom.

What.

"I'm Murasame Reine." Reine monotoned. "I teach physics. Nice to me-" She promptly fell to the floor.

Tama-chan and the students near the front all moved to help her.

What the hell?

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"So why are you a teacher here?"

Shidou stood in an dark isolated room lined with various monitors alongside Reine and Kotori.

"If I work at your school, I'll be able to reach you quickly in case anything happens, Shintarou." Reine monotoned.

"You could've figured that out if you used your head." Kotori snarked.

"My names Shidou." Shintarou corrected, ignoring Kotori's jab.

How did you forget?

"Oh, my bad Shin." Reine lazily apologized.

Whatever…

"Anyways, we called you here to hear your answer." Reine said. "We've deemed that enough time has passed for you to come to a decision."

I was expecting this… and after some thinking I've come to the most logical answer…

"I… accept." Shidou said reluctantly.

Even if I will feel bad about it. 

"Great!" Kotori exclaimed before pointing at a monitor that stood in front of Reine. "Load up the training program Reine."

They were totally expecting me to agree weren't they? Also, training program?

Reine types something on the monitor, causing it to enter a loading screen. Kotori spun around in her chair while holding a lollipop in her mouth as they waited for the training program to load. The screen fully loaded, revealing big bright text accompanied by various drawings of anime girls.

"A dating sim? Seriously?" Shidou asked incredulously.

The intro to the dating sim gave the same elevator pitch Kotori had given Shidou two days prior, ending it with 'Thats Itsuka-kuns mission!'.

They want me to train for romance… by using a dating sim? Wow, this really is like The World God Only Knows.

"Ehh…" Shidou blanched. "Can't I just watch an Andrew Tate video or something?"

 Kotori looked at Shidou, confused. "Andrew who?"

Shidou sighed. "Nevermind…"

Good thing I have experience with these.

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The sun has set, class had ended, and Shidou packed up his bag.

Dating Sims huh? Reminds me of the old days. I used to speedrun Dating Sims in an attempt to make myself seem look just a little bit cooler in the eyes of others. Though unfortunately, I had neglected the fact that it only made me look like an even bigger loser. It didn't really matter that I had the world record for Nekopara, it just increased my chances of remaining a virgin.

The door to the classroom slid open, catching Shidou's attention. He quickly turned around and was met with the sight of a girl with short white hair, blue eyes, and a blank face. 

"Shidou Itsuka." She spoke.

Origami…