Mourning

May was the quickest month out of the whole school year. At least it felt that way. It started off busy with all the students taking finals. When the exams were done, everyone was in a summer mindset. Not one student was able to concentrate on anything school related. The 8th graders were gearing up to graduate in less than a month. The timeline for the end of the year was: Finals exams, a week to prepare for graduation, the graduation for 8th graders, the rest of the school lets out for summer the week after graduation. With all the busyness and hustle and bustle, time flew.

Despite this school being a Jr. High. As well as, the fact that there was still being four more years of school left before receiving their High School Diploma and being completely done with classes, until college, it still held a graduation for it's 8th graders going on to become freshmen in High School.

Mirroring the larger ceremony to follow four years later, the top three graduating students, since 6th grade, were allowed to give speeches, with the titles of one Valedictorian and two Salutatorians. The Valedictorian and Salutatorian were selected, usually, within 48 hours after final exams. This year's Valedictorian was Tai Xiang. The two Salutatorians were Libby and Lucinda. It was done this way, so that the student speakers would have time to prepare their speeches, before the big event.

The day after the student speakers were selected, Tai, Libby, and Lucinda were summoned to the principal's office to be informed of the good news, as well as receive the topic of their speeches. Tai's was to be on accomplishment, Libby's topic was the future. Lucinda's was the past. After being given these assignments and receiving congratulations, the children were sent back into the school to begin work.

"Lucinda!" Libby called to Lucinda outside the principal's office. "Do you want to work on our speeches, together?"

"Huh?" Lucinda spoke in a daze. "Oh! Congratulations, by the way. On making salutatorian."

"Thanks, you too. So did you want to work on our speeches, together?" Libby repeated.

"Sure." Lucinda responded. "Writing the speech is the easy part. We've still got to say it in front of everybody."

"Yeah." Libby moved so she was walking side by side with Lucinda down the hall. "Are you nervous?"

Lucinda had to think on it, finally shaking her head. "Not really. I'm not afraid of speaking in public. I'm more worried of getting through my speech without messing up."

"I know. I would be really embarrassed if I messed up in front of all my friends and family." Libby agreed. "We could write our speeches together and then practice with each other, so we know what we're going to say, and don't mess up."

"That sounds like a good plan." Lucinda commented. "Where do we practice?"

"We could do it, today. You could come over to my house and call your mo- " Libby stopped herself, feeling awkward. "Right, you guys don't have a phone."

Lucinda blushed. "Maybe, when I go home, today, I could talk to my mom, and then, tomorrow, we could work on our speeches, together, at your house." She suggested.

"Yeah!" Libby exclaimed. "And maybe, you could stay for dinner. We might be able to convince my parents to order pizza. What do you like on your pizza?"

Lucinda's smile waned. "Anything, except tomatoes, onions, and peppers."

Libby made a face. "I hate the veggies, too. Too slimy." She giggles. "We're going to have a blast."

"Uh... yeah." Lucinda shied. "I… I look forward to it, Libby." She lied, trying not to hurt Libby's feelings. Barbie doll grin in place, Lucinda hitched up her backpack. "Um... I'll... see ya." Lucinda whispered the last two words, then trotted off to her bus.

Shuffling and bustling to her apartment door, Lucinda dumped her bag and stuff onto the floor. Stuffing her hands in her pockets, Lucinda begins the arduous task of searching for her keys. Suddenly, Lucinda freezes. On the other side of the door, she can hear voices. The conversation sounds tense and heated. One of the voices sounds like her mother. A puzzled Lucinda glances at her watching, visualizing a calendar and her mother's schedule, She shakes her head, frowning.

This is a work day. Lucinda thought. Mom should be at work. Who's...

Curiosity compelled Lucinda to reach for the door. The handle was snatched away. Blinking in surprise and wonder, Lucinda didn't recognize the old man before her. Squinting, Lucinda thought the gentleman might be familiar, but she couldn't be sure. Grandpa?

Thomas's face was blank with confusion for only a moment, before the grin bloomed. "Goosie?" He tried, using an old childhood nickname that Lucinda always hated, holding his arms wide.

"Daaaad!" Lucinda scowled into the embrace.

Thomas squeezed his daughter tight, then released her with a firm pat on both shoulders. He held his hands in place, rebelling against letting this budding woman go. "You lo-… mother." He intoned, his eyes shiny and dewy."

"What are..." Cheryl snapped, appearing beside him in the doorway. Her face

and demeanor changed the minute she saw Lucinda. "Surprise!" She cheered.

"I invited your dad down to see you graduate from Junior High!"

"Mmmm... Thanks?" Lucinda whined, shrinking, unsure how to take the surprise, then sighed. That explained the heated discussion. Lucinda's parents hated each other. Thomas's disease changed him into a different person and Cheryl's personality was so domineering and controlling. There was constant arguing and fighting while Lucinda was growing up. Lucinda frowned at the memories, remaining silent.

One arm around his daughter, Thomas brushed some hair out of her eyes with the other. "I got a hotel room in town and I brought Dog with me." Thomas referred to Sasha, his beloved Terrier.

"Why don't you go visit Mrs. Harris?" Cheryl suggested, stooping to bring in Lucinda's backpack. "I asked if she had a video camera, we could borrow, to record. Why don't you go get it? I can spend the next week playing with it, and learning how to work it."

"O... K..." Lucinda raised a confused eyebrow at her mother. Lucinda's mother always had trouble handling and operating electronic objects.

VCRs, Cameras, TVs, etc. All seemed to confuse, astound, and frustrate Cheryl. So, why would she ask a neighbor to borrow a camera, if she knew she didn't know how to operate the thing. Bullshit, she'd put in the effort it took to learn to use it. Lucinda had a gift with devices. Lucinda was the one to set up their cable. Lucinda hooked up their VCR. Whenever there was an event of some kind, Lucinda handled and operated the camera.

Nodding, Lucinda turned in the hall, hearing the slam of her own door closing. Half-way down the steps, she heard her mother's shrill voice, yelling. She sighed. Of course. Mom and dad can't be together five seconds before they start screaming at each other. Graduation, is going to be perfect.

Lucinda approached Mrs. Harris's door with her head down. Without looking up, she reached for the knocker, knocking on the door. Lucinda waited patiently for a response.

The door opened, revealing Mrs. Harris. "Oh, Lucinda!" Mrs. Harris cheered. "Your mother said you'd be paying a visit. Come in, come in." Mrs. Harris invited Lucinda inside. "Sit on the couch, sweetheart. Make yourself comfortable while I go find the camera."

Lucinda didn't even bother to fake a smile. "Yes, Ma'am." She monotoned, entering the apartment.

Mrs. Harris was an elderly, widowed, woman that lived alone. Her children had all grown and moved away to start families of their own, leaving Mrs. Harris by herself. The home was covered with photos of people that no longer lived in this home in addition to Mrs. Harris's grandchildren. Also there were doilies and multi-colored , hand-knit afghans. The place smelled of stale cinnamon, dead roses, and talcum powder. Lucinda did as she was told, sitting on a white love-seat with lilacs printed all over.

"Why don't you have some candy while you wait?" Mrs. Harris stooped taking the lid off an etched glass, oval, candy dish. The candy dish sat on a small, thin, lace table cloth, covering a stout, dark, rectangular coffee table. "How does it feel to be graduating?"

"Fine." Mumbled Lucinda, ignoring the candy. She sat on the couch like a lump.

Mrs. Harris shrugged her shoulders. "You just wait here, sweetie, and I'll be right back." Mrs. Harris scurried off to some random part of her home.

Lucina stared blankly at the wall ahead of her. Why do my parents have to ruin everything?! She exasperated in her mind. I hate this! Mom wants to move, again. Dad is here, treating me like a little kid and fighting with mom. Just once! Just ONCE I'd like to be able to live in my home more than a year before leaving. Just ONCE I'd like to NOT have to leave all my friends and start over at a new school. Just ONCE... Tears started falling down Lucinda's face. She wiped them away, dazed, unaware of what was going on. "Just once, I'd like someone other than me to be the grownup for a change." She muttered under her breath.

Mrs. Harris returned holding a camera, a charger, and a spare battery to go with it. "Honey, do you ne-!" Mrs. Harris stopped, seeing Lucinda in tears. "Oh honey. What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Lucinda pouted.

"Sweetie, something's got to be wrong," Mrs. Harris reasoned. "Or you wouldn't be so upset." Mrs. Harris sat on the couch next to Lucinda, the camera and equipment in her lap. She went to try to put an arm around Lucinda.

Lucinda blocked the gesture by putting her hand up and waving the arm aside. "I -" She squeaked. "I'm fine. Just..." Lucinda looked for the right words to say. A door slamming could be heard just outside.

"Just a lot going on." Mrs. Harris finished the statement for Lucinda. She found the excuse Lucinda had lost.

"Yeah," Lucinda sighed, accepting the answer. "I'll be fine." She lied.

"That's right." Mrs. Harris encouraged. "Just keep telling yourself that and things will get better." Mrs. Harris paused, hoping the wisdom would sink into the young girl. After a minute, she held up the camera. "If you want, I can show you and you can show your mom how to use this camera." She offered.

"That won't be necessary." Lucinda responded. Mom doesn't listen to me, anyway.

"This is the spare battery and charger." Mrs. Harris held out the equipment.

"Thank you." Lucinda accepted the additional items, juggling a little to make sure she had a firm grasp on everything.

"You have a good day, sweetie." Mrs. Harris escorted Lucinda to the door opening it for her. "And do try to feel better."

Mrs. Harris held the door until Lucinda had completely passed through. Then, she shut it, giving it an extra push to make certain the door was closed tightly. Having heard to chain and deadbolt slide into place, Lucinda climbed the stairs to her apartment. The precious camera and equipment clutched to her breast.

Outside her door, Lucinda was concerned about dropping the camera when she reached her hand to open her own door. So, kicking the bottom of the door, Lucinda called out. "MOM! CAN YOU LET ME IN?! MY HANDS ARE FULL!" The door opened, but it wasn't her mother there. Once again, it was her father. Thomas grabbed the camera from the top of the pile in Lucinda's arms. "Thanks dad." She ushered herself into the apartment, looking around. "Where's mom?"

"Your mother..." Thomas tensed, trying to be cordial. "Decided to go out."

"Oh..." Lucinda dumped her burden in a chair.

"Uh..." Thomas paused, marveling at his daughter. "If you want, I could take you out to dinner. To... c-celebrate your gradutation."

Lucinda nodded. "Ok, Daddy. Where did you want to go?"

"Anywhere you want to go." Thomas grinned a goofy grin. "You're the one who's graduating."

Lucinda thought a moment. "Is pizza ok?"

Thomas still beamed. "Pizza is fine."

Lucinda bent over the kitchen table with paper and pen and scribbled off a note to her mother. Then, after hugging her father once more, went to have pizza with him.