Sword

A stream of tears runs down my cheeks as the dark King holds a blade to my neck. No words could explain the anger that burns in his beautiful browns eyes. Those eyes that make me fall deeper and deeper. No eye contact is lost as we stare at each other. I'm a whirl of emotions right now.

Anger, Hatred, the ultimate betrayal.

I wanted to feel this way but I just couldn't. Nothing could ever make me hate you, your just to precious. Looking at you with my anxious gaze, it was clear that you were all I needed even if it hurts.

This is my third life yet I keep repeating the same mistakes

I should have just listened to everyone when they told me love was just a fools game. I was naïve and reckless, but did I care? No. Although this wasn't the happily ever after I had hoped for it was still perfect. He was indeed the best mistake I ever made I just wished the outcome could have been different.

But this was written in the stars.

It was inevitable.

I still long for you to love me even though it hurts every time.

right from the very day I met you down to this second. All the good times and all the bad times, I'm grateful. And so now I will not end my time on this earth hating you. It just isn't possible.

A bittersweet smile creeps onto my lips. My eyes looking down at his shoes as they continue to leak salty liquids.

This would have been better if this overwhelming pain I was feeling was physical . I could tolerate it. Anything, any kind of torture he wishes upon me, I'll tolerate it.

But why?

Why did it have to be an emotional one?

why must I suffer this way.

My heart clenches, an aching sensation over comes me. I'm trembling but yet I still force myself to look at him.

The one person in this world.

who I wish to hate but didn't have it in me to.

Those beautiful pools of gold that used to look at me with love and complete adoration now held a venomous glare.

If looks could kill..

For a split second I could have swore a hint of guilt flashed across his faces but I knew better.

Perhaps he never cared for me at all, maybe it all was just a game to him, maybe I was just another one of his conquests.

In a moment or so, my head might be rolling away from my body and the culprit would be no other person but him.

For the third time, my life would be taken from me by the wrath of him. The same blade that is to be used to behead me. The gold blade, encrusted with the reddest blood rubies. They same blade that has took thousands of live guilty and innocent, the blade that annihilated many wars to protect my mother country, will also be the same tool to take my life again like first and second life.

My blood will spill and drip over it and his manly but delicate hands will wipe the remnants that still remain. He will wipe it as if it is the most menacing liquid that would ruin his precious sword.

I know this since it's the exact same gesture he would do for my past two lives. It's almost as if its a tradition at this point.

I did everything in my power to change this unruly outcome but here I am once again. Knelt before him, his sword still dangerously held against my faint neck, being framed for the same crime as before.

This man... I lived my life only for this man.

I protected him, pampered him, helped him, inspired him.

In other words I lived the rest of my life loving him.

I thought that trying to change the scenarios would only make him love me back.

Oh how wrong was I to think that...

In the first place, I even believed he loved me but just fell out of love because of the poisonous words that were planted into his head.

Until I realised that there's no way that you could fall out of love.

If it did, then it wasn't love in the first place. He never loved me back in the first place. How could I stand against that vile woman?

His whole body was filled with guilt, anger, resentment, sadness, tons of emotions that even I couldn't distinguish.

My family died because of him. My unborn child died because of him. The people around me abused me because of him.

Everything was because of him. My endless suffering, my losses. Everything.

All my thoughts were about trying to make him love me back.

which is an unreachable dream.

If I get another chance, a fourth life, I promise to not chase him anymore. I'll do my best to save my family, to save people with the best I can. To save myself and live my life to the fullest.

But I might not be given any other chance anymore.

The deity had already given me three chances and I ended up with the same ending.

Being killed by his own arms.

With that, a sudden thought lit up my brain.

My two lives ended by his own hands. My third life can be different if I end it myself.

With a determined gaze I grasped the end of the blade. My eyes drowing in tears, heart is broken, my whole body is aching but I pushed myself to go forward and impale my chest with his mighty sword.

The prince, my beloved widened his eyes with great surprise and tried to with draw the sword but was prevented by my own hand that are clutching the blade.

The blade sliced my hand as I gripped it, a powerful pain spreading on my chest area, where my heart lies.

"Are you crazy!?" he yelled and tugged at the sword, only to be stopped by my harsh grip.

My body trembled with anguish and agony. My own eyes still staring at his and if it was still possible, my heart skips a beat.

I teared up more and clenched my teeth.

After all the things he has done. My heart still yearns for him.

"I h-hope in my next life.. I-if there is one, I hope to e-end up with my soulmate, live with him h-happily, have kids and die by his side p-peacefully. I hope to save m-my own family and live a life w-without chaos" I sobbed out clenching the blades more tighter.

"Let go of the sword Y/n!" His panicked voice echoed.

Panicked?

I really am on the brink of death, having hallucinations that he's panicked for me.

His voice saying my name made me smile though. That itchy feeling in my destroyed heart coming up again. It's been years since I heard him calling me by my birthname.

I pushed myself more wanting to end my life as quickly as possible. I glanced at him once more time, smiling at him who shouted repeatedly.

What is he saying? My head is to dazy to comprehend. I can only see him open his mouth. His hands already left the sword and was clutching my shoulder.

I can't deny that I still love you. I hope that there's a possibility for it to fade because I don't want to fight for you anymore.

I'm certain that in my mind, I would still hear your whispering those three words happily as if you were sincere. It would still make my heart flutter despite of the things you did.

If there's another chance, I will force myself to just be on the side, watching you happily living your life with your chosen one. Even though it would be hard, it's better since I will get a peaceful life .

A life where I don't need to just battle against some girl just to gain your heart. A life where I don't need to be cautious of traps or poisons.

I will just make myself content to just see you enjoying your life even if it wasn't because of me.

Because that's love right?

Letting your loved one to be happy even if it means that you have to be hurt.

Sacrificing your own self just for them to be alright.

I really am a slave of his love. I gathered up my strength and rasped out my last words.

"Goodbye, Jeon Jungkook."