Tina, Hariot and Selena

<p>I'm on my second shot of heroin in six hours. I spent time in the back of my SUV with Melody. We spoke of many life updates. How she despises her new doctor. That her parents shot down her dreams of attending journalism school of recent. Everything I wanted to know, she willingly provided.<br/> She has not dated since her discharge at the hospital in two years, claiming young men are stupid and immaturity isn't her cup of tea in relationships. I didn't press on to ask her about her sexual relations with boys her age, as much as my mind simply needed to know.<br/> And, of course, we fucked.<br/> She felt the same. Tasted the same. Sucked cock the same. Everything I wanted for months upon months all in my hands again.<br/> I drove her home, fingering her pussy relentlessly as I steered the wheel. She sat with one leg up on the dashboard, conversing with me about school between loud moans. I remembered to twist my fingers just the way she preferred. <br/> I didn't tell her much about me. Not even that my mother is gone. Women don't enjoy hearing men speak of things they lament about. Our conversation stayed light hearted.<br/> Just the way I despised it.<br/><br/>—<br/><br/> It is 12a.m. and I cannot sleep for the life of me. She is in my thoughts again being all I desire throughout the day. She knows this as she winks and bends over like a naughty temptress in my voyeur visions.<br/> I cum myself to sleep thinking of her beauty body against mine along with her elegant moans. Her face as she orgasms. Everything that brings me back to my centre point of being in lust with her. I feel my body relax as I finish stroking my cock under the sheets. <br/> <br/> Thank God it is the weekend and I have time to medicate longer. I start my day with a shot of methamphetamine and spend the next few hours beating off to photos I've downloaded of Melody. <br/> I'm cross addicted to crystal meth and heroin. It has been only a week since my recreational use has evolved into a dependence. I can afford my medication. Also known as my affinity to hardcore drugs. <br/> I have visions of shooting Melody up again. Her delicate thin arm and blue veins poking out as she flexes her muscles. I am in peril of my sexual arousal as I squeeze the tip of my dick at the image online of her doing the splits in ballet class. How I'd love for her to do the splits on me. My tongue tracing up her neck to her ear as my fingers work her pink clitoris. My hand positioning the needle and quickly poking her vein, then drawing the plunger back and seeing the blood squirt out water, to drive it home into her circulation. <br/> Watching her get flat out fucked on heroin was a treat. It was unlike any other submissive gothic girl who craved relief. It was like watching her lose her virginity. Again and again. <br/><br/> —<br/> Such occasions were overrated.<br/> In my earlier days of working at the psych ward, I came across a schizophrenic sixteen year old put in my care. Of course the lass's mother advocated and pushed for intensive treatment of her daughter's hallucinations. She was suffering from acute mania in our first conversation.<br/> "Describe the voices, Selena."<br/> She twirled her straight raven hair in her hand and made an undeviating face. <br/> "They tell me to suck the doctor's cock." She spat out in her inane infant-stressed voice. <br/> "I'd like you to speak in your normal voice, please." I insisted. "These are serious matters, not a television audition."<br/> "How 'bout you audition me?" <br/> God.<br/> "This meeting will have to take place with a your mother in the room since you cannot behave." I said, closing the binder consisting of her admissions notes and charting. "And watch your profanity around the nurses. We have a safety policy for our patients." <br/> Dramatically raising one arched eyebrow, Selena's rhinestone braces shone in the light as she opened her mouth to make a belligerent expression. <br/> <br/> This wasn't the end of her promiscuous and uncontrollable behaviour. She was later admitted to the seclusion room where she masturbated in the camera view at the edge of her bed. She made a collection of faces as she played with herself. I remember watching her repeatedly mouth "Fuck" and roll her eyes. <br/> Behaviour like this was common amongst young adult schizophrenics for unknown reasons. They believed they were invincible, that their surroundings could not harm them as they went about their ways in their sickest elements, that their behaviour lead to no consequence. The worst part of the job was sitting them down and telling them they had some enigmatic mental health disorder. <br/> A nurse had to remain in the room to hear the diagnosis because she couldn't behave.<br/> "Undifferentiated schizophrenia. Acute mania with psychotic features."<br/> "What?"<br/> I took a deep breath. <br/> "I'm such a freak." She said, her voice strained by melancholy. She was no longer speaking in her childish voice. <br/> "You're not a freak," the nurse attempted to reassure her. "Everyone has problems."<br/> That didn't stop Selena from crying. Very loud. <br/> <br/> She later attempted suicide via cutting with broken plastic. She had kept her disposable fork from dinner and carved a huge gash in her wrist, leaving a note that she was deeply ashamed of her diagnosis.<br/> Her attempt was unsuccessful. <br/> "You've just landed yourself two more weeks in intensive care." I told her unsympathetic of her weakness she effervescently displayed on herself like a neon sign. <br/> That was the unit for people who could not be trusted alone. <br/> The unit that arranged from ages sixteen and up. <br/> In less words, she got raped daily. By staff in her sleep. Through words by patients who snuck into her room at night. She learned to keep her mouth shut as the weeks went by but nothing stopped people from taking her innocence away every night.<br/> I being the one to help himself first. Now, I didn't know she was a virgin until I shoved my cock in and felt the membrane break. Her cherry popped against the tip of my cock, to which I came instantly. The blood and cum seeped out of her virgin cunt as I withdrew myself.<br/> I was disgusting. At thirty-five years old I crept on her for days before raping her in her sleep. I concluded it would have been me or some filthy drug addicted patient to take her virginity. She got what she had been asking for all week through her obvious exchanges of information that regarded how horny she was on a day to day basis. <br/><br/> I'm reading a novel on meth when the phone rings.<br/> "Is this a bad time?" She asks.<br/> "Yes, dear." I answer solemnly.<br/> I feel the disappointment in her voice begin to test me once she speaks again. "I was hoping I could visit." <br/> Melody has no idea I use street drugs. I intend to keep it that way. She regards me in a way she doesn't view her step father despite us both putting her on opiates. She means more to me than most people. Therefore I cannot simply agree to see her out of her impulsive wishes. For all I know she could regret our interactions in two days from now. <br/> "How about tomorrow?" I propose.<br/> "Volunteering at the library." She chews her gum obnoxiously into the line. Something I know she only does when she is trying to hide her inner thoughts from others. <br/> "Afterwards?" <br/> God, don't make this more difficult.<br/> "Very well." She responds in monotone. <br/> Why is she involving her feelings? Melody isn't… in love with me. I made sure she would never fall. I made sure all of my patients never fell. <br/> "Good." Is all I say. "Have a good night, Melody." <br/> <br/> <br/> <br/><br/> </p>