Earthly problems

Raven, Red and Skye sat around the dining room table with Han bringing out a large bowl of red soup. Filled with fish cakes, rice cakes and vegetables. "Alright it's finished. Dig in." She said setting the large bowl down. "Holy crap! This all looks amazing!" Skye said. "You can cook?" Raven asked.

"Of course I can." Han said handing out a bowl of noodles in black bean sauce. Skye and Red dug into their food first slurping away with gusto. "Okay...let me rephrase. Why didn't you cook for us when Zeke was unconscious? Instead of letting those two...cook."

"Unlike Zeke, I don't take pleasure in cooking or cleaning. I just know how to do it. Also I can't stress this part enough. It. Was. Hilarious." "Tell that the toilet and wasted food." "No one forced you to their food." Han said.

*Knock* *knock* "Ezekiel. Please answer the door." A man's voice said. "Who the fuck is knocking at this time? It's six!" Han exclaimed standing up. The others followed Han to the door. She flung the door open. "What!?" She yelled.

"Good evening to you as well." Gabriel Chen said. He wore a nice blue suit with a clean hair cut like his father. "I-" Han slammed the door shut on him. He stood there dumbfounded for a second, before knocking again. The door opened again with Han greeting him this time with a smile.

"Was the door slamming in your face not a clear sign? Here let me do it again." Gabriel placed his hand against the door. "Stop. I'm trying to do my job." "Cool. Get the fuck out." Han said shoving his face out. "Oh this is just-" Raven rolled her eyes grabbing Gabriel by the scruff and pulling Han away.

"What do you want?" She asked firmly. "Where's my little brother?" He asked adjusting his collar. "What do you care asshole?" Han snapped. "Look, I'm just trying to do my job alright. He's being summoned. I have the subpoena."

"Are you fucking serious!? Again!? Which cunt is suing him this time?" Han exclaimed. "Well to use your rude vernacular." "Hey cunt face. I've seen you at parties. Stop speaking like you're better than us." Han said folding her arms. Gabriel went red.

"There are multiple parties that have joined together in a case against Ezekiel-" "Zeke. His name is Zeke." Raven said sternly, with Red nodding along. "Look!" Gabriel snapped raising his voice. He took out a folder from his back shoving it into Han's chest.

"Where ever he is. Give him this. Tell him he's got about a week, before all of this says goodbye." "That a threat?" Han said making a fist. "No. He's being sued by Mr Linette for several felony charges, and by several construction companies for civil damages. With his history, they'll lock him up and take all his assets, including this agency and home to barely pay the legal costs."

Han quickly skimmed through the folder. "Alright then. Go fuck yourself and get out before I hurt you." "I need to know where he-" Han delivered a lightning fast high kick to his chin and continued to read through the documents. She walked off as the others watched him finally collapse. "Warned ya didn't I?" She said taking a seat.

Raven and Skye watched Red kick him in the face before sitting with Han. "Should...should we get him an ambulance?" Skye asked looking over him. "I think he's-" Blood bubbles formed from his gurgling out the corner of his lips. "Yeah, we should."

The two sat with Han, waiting for the ambulance to arrive, as she combed through it. "Is it bad?" Raven winced. "Nah, nah...we're good. Hang on let me fix this." She said making a call. "Hey Edelgard! It's Han and...yeah it's some legal related...mmhmm it's Zeke and Moon related....I know you have to remain impartial but-Hello? Edelgard? Hello?"

Raven gulped. "It's all good, she's just busy. Plan B." She said dialling another number. "Please put me through to Peter Weaver, I'm his next lover." The three gave her an incredulous stare. "What do you mean he's not available? He already went through a green Rift? When!?...Well you tell him to get his ass-Hello? Yellow? Allo?"

"Han..." "It's fine. It. Is. Fine. Always come prepared with plan C." She said dialling again. "Hey, it's-Don't worry about how I got your number. Twig needs your help and-Fuck them kids. You and I both know they can teach themselves. Now-Nononono don't hang up! By any chance is Adrianna willing to pay a legal fee? How much? Umm....Ummm....100,000 chi-Hello? Are you there? Can you hear me? Hello?"

The three watched on mortified as Han gave a wry smile dialling again. "Hey, I think our line got cut off there. No? Just answered to hang up on me again? Alright, I respect that." Han nodded begrudgingly.

She pursed her lips to a line and clasped her hands together. "So, my plan is to move back in with my parents. What are your plans?" The other three's jaws dropped. "What the fuck is in that document!?" They yelled.

They skimmed through it with their eyes bulging after each line. "That's not fair! They can't expect them to pay this! The materials were already compensated." Skye yelled. "But not the time and scheduling. That's what they're suing them for." Han said.

"But this part is also wrong! I broke his bones! Why am I not the one being charged?" Raven asked. "Zeke is your boss, and is responsible for your actions as it happened on company grounds. He is also stronger than you and chose to do nothing about it. Which makes him an accomplice." Han said reeling back in her chair.

She slapped her face letting out a long groan ."FFFFFFFUCK! Alright, no. This is fine. This. Is. Fine! I'm gonna figure this out. Get your suits ready. I'll fix this tomorrow." "Wait what happens tomorrow?" Raven asked. "My ultimate plan. Trust in me." The three gave her an uneasy look.

Morning came with the three following Han to the Supreme court. They all wore the same kind of suit with a formal pencil skirt, with Red wear a collar and tie. "Miss So Hee, the judge will see you now." The receptionist said.

Han made them huddle up before entering. "Alright, listen. Just let me do the talking. Don't get emotional on me, and above all else. Do not use any swear words. Got it?" They nodded. "Alright let's get this bread."

Han entered in first seeing Michael Chen sitting next to a group of attorneys. He smile at her. "Hello Miss So Hee." "Oh you fucking gangly cunt knuckle! Of course you would be the dick licker that organized this lawsuit, you absolute fucking wanker!"

The three looked at her mortified with their jaws hanging in the wind. The judge cleared his throat. "Please refrain from that kind of language in my office." "Sorry your honour." She said bowing to him. He shook his head frowning at her.

They sat down with Raven whispering into Han's ear. "What was that!?" "Look do as I say, not as I do." She whispered back. "Something to share?" The Judge asked. "No sir-I mean your honour." She said with a nervous smile.

"Miss So Hee, please make this quick. I am still quite unsure of how you even arranged this meeting so quickly with Judge Leviticus." Michael said. "I was persistent in my efforts." She said glaring back at him. "How did you manage this?" Raven whispered into her ear. "I sent his son some nudes I photoshopped." "You did what!?" She hissed.

"Judge Leviticus, I would like to motion that this is a gross conflict of interest. Michael Chen is a heartless abusive man, who spent three years building a case against his own son. Just to sue him for $300,000 at the age of 13. This case is no different." Han said standing with a confident posture.

"While I am impressed with your knowledge of the law at your age Miss So Hee. Attorney Chen is not a part of this case." "You say what now?" Han asked taken aback. Michael sniggered.

"I am simply consulting on this case for the felony charges, as is Gabriel, for the civil charges. There is no conflict of interest here." He said with a smug grin.

"Han, please tell me that wasn't your big plan?" Raven whispered. "It was...wait! Double Jeopardy! Ha! You can't prosecute someone a second time for the same crime. Zeke was already punished."

Michael and the other attorneys snickered. "Miss So Hee, again I am impressed with your general knowledge of the law and confidence. However Double Jeopardy applies to a person after an acquittal on the same charges. If all the parties involved are acquitted, then it applies."

Han slumped back into her chair. "Keep studying Miss So Hee. You'd make an excellent lawyer at your age." Michael said adjust his suit. "Your honour I would like to add one more thing." "What is it?" "Attempted murder of a cunt!" Han shouted lunging at Michael. Raven held her back as she tried to scratch his eyes out.

He leant forward shy of her reach. "Let me fucking at him!" "Han stop!" Skye stood in between them placing her hand onto Michael's chest. "What did Zeke do to you? Why do you hate him so much?" Skye asked.

He pushed her hand away. "I did my research on you miss Shinsei. I know you're a Truth Seeker. I also know you're a terrible one. You require direct contact and for the person to answer. Leave it to my worst son, to bring together the worst group for his agency."

"Goodbye Judge Leviticus." "Yes, goodbye Attorney Chen. As for the rest of you. I will see you all in court in two days time. Dismissed." "But the guys a cunt and-" "Dismissed!" He said firmly at Han. They left irritated, driving home in silence.

The living room was filled dread and gloom. All of them slumped in their seats. Red sighed ripping off her tie. "What are we gonna do now? Zeke trusted us to keep this place safe for him, and we're gonna lose it by the time he comes back." Raven sighed.

"I was gonna finally have a job..." Skye sulked slumping over. Red slumped over pawing at Han's leg. "God damn it....how the hell does Zeke come up with plans so quick!? Euuuuuuuggghhhhh! I don't even know what we can do! We're just gonna stand there while everything we have crumbles."

Raven's ringtone went off. She fumbled for her phone. Her eyes lit up with joy and hope. Han sat up. "Who is it?" "Hello daddy?" "Oh, it's just your sugar daddy...wait a minute. You're gay and don't have a real sugar daddy! Also! Your dad is rich!" Han exclaimed.

Red and Skye perked up. "That was a weird connection, but please tell us there's good news." Raven's face became brooding. "But! He deserved it! I-Dad wait! Just let me-Hello? Daddy?" She looked at the others with a glum smile.

"So that was my dad." "...And?" Han asked. "I've been cut out of the will and I'm going to be disowned in the next few weeks." The four of them reeled back in their seats letting out a long groan. "We're gonna need a miracle at this point." Han said massaging her temples. "Or other rich people." She added.

Raven sat up. "Why do we need rich people?" "What else? For a good lawyer." "The rich people we know won't help, but what about their kids?" Raven asked. "What's your idea? Who do you know?"

"Sakura!" Raven exclaimed. Han stood up invigorated."A thirsty ass girl, with her dad wanting to fight Zeke again, that could work! Get her on the phone!" Raven swiped through her phone.

"Hey Sakura, it's Raven. I-I didn't text because it's an emergency. I don't care if it's cooler to text first! We need your help...yes it's money related...What do you get in return? Umm...let me check." Raven looked to the others.

Skye and Red shrugged. 'What does she want?' Han mouthed. "What do you want?" Raven reeled back looking at her phone confused. Han snatched the phone out of Raven's hand putting it on speaker. "Hey, it's Han. What did you ask for? Because Raven is looking at her phone, like it's a dick." Raven threw her hands into the air.

"I want to fuck Zeke." "Ah! I see...that makes more sense. Um...Is there any chance we could get the money first and then we can negotiate-" "I can give you $200,000. Under the condition, Zeke gives me his best for one week, with a minimum of 21 times." "Is that 21 times for you or-" "For him." Sakura said. "Oh damn." "Those are my conditions. Let me know. Bye!"

Han looked at the black phone screen. "Um...hey do you think Alexander would give us money, if I fucked him?" Raven shrugged. "Give it a try." Han dialled the phone. "Hey Alex, it's me Han. We met at Zeke's house. Real quick, would you give me about $100,000,000 if I fucked you really, really! REALLY well?...Ah huh...I could do that, I'm flexible....I am not a Hunter, but-Hello? Can you hear me? I- Son of a bitch!" She shouted lobbing the phone onto the table.

"What about you? Any ideas?" Han asked Skye. "We could raise a kick-starter or patreon, and see if Zeke has enough thirsty bitches to give us money?" "That would have worked if he didn't scare them all off...Red think you could pan handle like a billion dollars?" Red threw her hands into the air in disbelief at her question. "Whelp, this situation couldn't get any worse."

"HAN! WHERE ARE YOU!?" Her mother screamed through the door pounding on it with all her might. Raven looked to Han. "You had to jinx it." "SHE'S NOT HERE!" Han shouted back.