Calamities

Zeke woke up alone in his bed. He sat up looking around puzzled. "Moon? Sunny?" He strolled around his empty bungalow calling out to everyone else. "Han? Raven?...Skye? Fiona are you here banging Raven?...Red?...Where is everyone?"

He stopped at the door finding a note against it. "Gone out partying, come find us...Oh that doesn't sound good." Zeke ventured outside to hear girlish screaming and partying.

Walking along the wooden path he joined the group of thirty girls squealing and screaming around the bartender. Sculptured men wearing nothing but a black thong, stood behind the bar serving out drinks, with their handsome smiles.

Zeke spotted Moon and Sunny resting on their elbows leering at every part of them. He rolled his eyes, spotting Constantine standing off to the side nursing a singular beer.

He stood beside him as they looked over the gentle water. "How long have they been at it?" "Last two hours." Constantine sighed. "Not gonna join them?" "And watch my girlfriend drink a jello-shot from some guy's belly button? No thanks. What about you, why aren't you joining in?"

"My power's come with a downside. I can't get drunk whatsoever, but I still taste the piss." "Wow, what a small downside to your nigh invulnerability." "Still pissed at me kicking your ass?" Zeke asked with a coy smile. "Ha. Ha. Why don't you celebrate with a drink. I hear gasoline gets people pretty drunk."

Zeke joined Constantine leaning on the railing. "Well, you should know I have drank some gasoline before. All it did was make me burp fire." Constantine shot Zeke a sceptical look. "Just how many tests did you two do?"

"Lost count." Constantine spun around resting against the railing. "So, tell me. How did you manage to get two women to fall in love with you?" Zeke spun around smiling at Moon and Sunny. "I honestly have no idea. I'm just enjoying it, before everything goes to shit."

"How does a man with two girlfriends, that look like that, have such a negative out view on life?" "Has Kenji ever run that sword through your heart before?" "I can't say he has, but I doubt he would ever use Blood-Render for me."

"Wait, is that what that thing is called?" "The sword that looks like some took a screen shot of fire and said make it into a sword?" "Yes!" "Yep, that's Blood-Render. Dad told me about how it much hurts."

Zeke rubbed his chest. "Does more than hurt." "I mean you didn't die from it." "Gee thanks. I love the technicality I got." "I'm just saying, you should be a bit more optimistic in your outlook for life." "You going to be more open sexually and let Sakura fuck me?"

Constantine shot Zeke a sinister glare. "I'm just saying for a man who's had plenty of threesomes with other girls. It's only fair that Sakura-" "Just what do you two talk about ?" He said taking a swig. "Anything and everything that comes up. What to buy as gifts, date ideas, recipes, where her actual G-spot is-"

Constantine spat out his drink with Zeke chuckling. "I see why Han does that. It is fun." "You're an asshole." "Relax, I would never do anything with Sakura. I mean the logistics behind it are a nightmare." Constantine frowned at him.

"Well, I'd have to convince Moon and Sunny first, then I'd have to get your blessing-" "Which will never happen!" "And I would have to find a way to film it in the highest definition possible to show Kenji." "Didn't think you would have a grudge against someone strong enough to kill you."

"You get stabbed through the heart, and let me know if you'd let that fact go." "Touché." "ZEKE!" "EZEKIEL!" Moon and Sunny yelled in a drunken slur. "Looks like you're in trouble."

Zeke was mobbed by all the women, all drunk and wobbly. "You all look very drunk." "Shut up!" Moon snapped. "You! *hic* Me! *Hic* Date!" "Yeah!" The group cheered. Zeke's eyes darted around frantically. He responded with the only answer he could. "Huh!?"

Sunny cupped Moon's cheeks pushing her lips out. "You need to *Hic* take *hic* Take! *hic*" Sunny fell to her knees slurring her words. "Christ! How many have you had to drink?" A few of Sakura's friends snatched Zeke up by his collar.

Their angry words became a cacophony of nonsensical rambling. "Um...." "They're asking why you've never taken Moon on a proper date." Han said, her face bright red glowing. "Jesus titty fucking Christ! How many have you had to drink?" Zeke asked push them away.

"Me? I've been nursing the same beer since we got here." "You forgot to take your Zantac tablet." Han scoffed rolling her eyes. "Zeke, I've been drinking for over four years. You think I'd forget-" She stopped to look at her reflection in Constantine's phone. "SON OF A BITCH!" She shouted storming off.

Moon slumped onto Zeke's chest dragging his shirt down. She looked up at him with teary eyes and a pout. "Date." Zeke reeled back at the horrendous stench of booze wafting out. "Oooookay! You need to get some sleep and a mint."

"Huh, didn't know you were affected by smells still." "Affected by a lot of things still." Moon tugged on his shirt. "Date." "Okay, we're gonna go on a date to hotel bed, and get you some water, and then-"

Sunny stood up shakily leaning against Zeke's arm. "Let's go dancing!" "What time is it?" Zeke asked Constantine. "9:47am." "Alright, that's a wrap for your afternoons." Zeke slung Sunny over his shoulder. "Weee!"

Sakura's friends shoved Zeke back. "Hey! Why didn't you pick Moon up first!? She not important or something!?" "No...Sunny was already on my...Why am I explaining myself? You're all drunk. Get out of my way."

Zeke slung Moon over his shoulder. "Ridiculous. Been drinking for two hours and you're already hammered. Now don't-" "BLEURGH!" Moon and Sunny released a torrent of sludge over his sandals.

Constantine cringed with Zeke taking a deep breath. He kicked off his sandals trudging back with wet steps. "Why aren't you that sweet!?" The girls yelled at Constantine. "Huh!? What? What's happening? I didn't do anything wrong."

They shoved Sakura to the front her face bright red. They cupped her cheeks. "Look at her!" "....Okay!?" "Why don't you want her to be happy?" "Of course I want her to be happy. I just don't want her fucking another guy!" "You'd obviously be watching! Duh!"

"And like that. We're leaving. Come on." Constantine slung Sakura over his shoulder jogging to his bungalow. Kicking the door open he found Alexander naked in the living room with two girls on his lap. "Come on!" Constantine groaned averting his eyes.

"Hey you're meant to knock! Don't get angry at me, when you don't have any manners." "Just...Keep it down and let Sakura sleep...Christ!" He carefully covered his eyes climbing up the stairs.

Constantine found Zeke slumped over at the end of the pier. Taking a seat next to him he handed Zeke a soda, and popped the top off a beer. "She always this rowdy at parties?" Zeke asked. "No, but her friends make the worst come out."

"Then they aren't really friends. Seem like a bunch of cunts." Constantine chuckled raising his bottle. "I would never say it, but yeah. They're cunts." "Look, I just want you to know. I don't see Sakura in that way. She's just a friend."

Constantine peered into his bottle intensely. "Do you know how many Demon Hunters I've met?" "Iunno, like fifty?" "Thousands. Each and every one of them were; bastards, assholes, lying, cheating assholes, and there aren't enough languages to insult them."

Constantine turned his intense stare to Zeke. 'Is he coming on to me??' Zeke thought. "You're the first and only Demon Hunter I'd believe that from. So thanks." He gave Zeke a pat on the back. "Although I make no promises about Moon or Sunny. They're smoking hot."

Zeke shoved Constantine. The two scoffed before laughing with each other. Han forced her way in between them. "Sup gay lords." "You look less...red." "What is it Han?" Zeke asked.

"Figure I give you an update on everything." "Okay...and you're pausing for dramatic effect?" Han looked out into the distance, before reeling back. "No, sorry thought I saw something in the distance. Anyway. Raven and Fiona are currently passed out on the beach, after their, and I quote. Exhaustive nap."

"Raven's a lesbian!?" Constantine exclaimed. "Mega taco eater, but no idea where Red ran off to." "You aren't worried for your familiar? If she dies, you'll-" "She's fine. She knows better than to get into trouble. What else?"

"Skye's currently somehow still drinking with that mob of skanks. Girl can hold her alcohol. Then Moon and Sunny are still passed the fuck out." "Anything else to report?" "Yes, I'm bored out of mind, come with me to do something."

"What did you have in mind?" "Let's go...What the fuck..." Han trailed off. "What are you seeing on that...Hey-" "Yeah, I see that as well." Constantine said. The three stood up squinting at the horizon growing taller. "Does it kinda look like that scene in Interstellar with-"

Their eyes popped out of their sockets. "HAN GET INSIDE! YOU WARN THE OTHERS!" Zeke ordered taking a few steps back. "What the fuck are you going to do!?" They yelled. "SLOWING IT DOWN!"

He leapt into the ocean summoning his suit with Shadow. "HOW?" "Not the time!" Han snapped shoving him. Zeke leapt off the ocean surface with a Mana step, towards the giant tsunami barrelling towards them.

Heading to alert everyone at the party, the two spotted a cataclysmic lightning storm of violet lightning. "WHAT THE FUCK NOW!?" Han shouted. "Bigger problem!" Constantine shouted pointing behind Han. "OH COME ON!"

A colossal hurricane barrelled towards them. It whipped the waters violently with giant fish flying around. "Handle that, I'll handle the storm!" Constantine shouted sprinting away.

"Sure! I'll create giant whirlpool underneath the cyclone going in a counter motion and nullify its momentum! Oh wait. I DON'T HAVE ANY FUCKING POWERS YOU ASSHOLE! ARGH!" Han sprinted towards Constantine's bungalow.

Kicking the door down with one swift thrust kick. Alexander stood up angrily. "Doesn't anyone knock anymore!?" "FUCK FACE LOOK OUTSIDE AND HELP!" He grumpily trotted over, his eyes popped out seeing the hurricane. "HOLY-" "DON'T SPEAK JUST HELP SLOW IT DOWN!"

Han sprinted out charging into Moon and Sunny's room. She shook them violently. "WAKE UP! WAKE UP! SHIT'S HAPPENING!" The two responded with groans and drool.

Han shook Moon by her shoulders violently. "WAKE UP! SOMEONE'S EATING YOUR FOOD!" "Eugh...." Han slapped her across the face. "ZEKE'S IN ANOTHER WOMAN!" Moon let out another groan. Han tossed her aside. "Fucking idiot! Alright plan C." Han placed her hands together. "Christ almighty DO SOMETHING!"

Alexander sprinted outside towards the party hut. Activating his Demon's Blood he let out a monstrous roar slamming his hands into the ground. "I call upon the god of Earth. Accept my offering, accept me as your vessel. Entomb."

He encased the entire area in a earthen tomb. Alexander leapt to each bungalow reciting the spell each time. Spotting Raven and Fiona sprinting off the beach side towards the bungalows. He leapt into action encasing them inside.

"What the fuck is happening!?" Raven shouted. "NO IDEA! JUST HELP ME HOLD THIS THING DOWN!" The three dug their fingers into the earth, and felt the it lifting off the ground, along with their finger nails.

Constantine stopped at the beach front, staring down the storm. Activating his Demon's Blood, he psyched himself up snarling at the storm. "BRING IT ON!"

The bolts of lightning redirected through the air into Constantine, surging him with violet lightning. He let out a scream of anguish feeling the lightning overload him. Constantine released a crimson bolt of lightning into the storm, before collapsing to the ground covered in rising smoke.

Zeke hovered in front the tsunami activating his Demon's Blood freezing himself a platform. Lowering himself and adopting Sovereign stance one. The ice around him pulsed in and out. "Come on! Time to cut a fucking tidal wave. Come on. Come on."

The fifty metre wave encroached rapidly, towering over him. Zeke let out a defiant roar releasing the largest giant Demon Slash he could muster. The first slash split the wave, revealing dirt and sand formed underneath. "What the-"

The second slash split the entire wave in half. "WHO THE FUCK!" A woman shouted. Zeke threw as many slashes as he could, before he was enveloped and crushed underneath the wave.

Han let out a scream hugging Moon and Sunny feeling the entire building shake violently. She winced and cocked an eyebrow feeling nothing afterwards. Opening one eye, she looked around patting her body. "Are we dead?"

Walking to the door, the dirt wall crumbled to muddy blotches. Han ventured out finding the pier destroyed, and everything else covered in the contents dredged from the ocean floor. Fish and seaweed decorated every hut. "What the..."

"WOOOO! I WIN! I WIN ! I WIN!" Han ducked around the door, seeing the World Number 6 Hunter.

Gale Eve, a beautiful woman gifted with all the physical prowess given to Hunters. Tall, slender, with fiery red locks and radiant ruby eyes to match.

"What the fuck!?" She hissed. "If she's here then that means..." Han peeked once more.

She spotted the World number 4 Hunter, Terra Eve. A brunette woman, tall and slender with three distinct scars on her bubbly face. One across her forehead, and one on each cheek. She stomped over shaking her wet clothes off.

"That was bullshit! You did not win that! Some asshole cut my fucking my wave to pieces!" "Oh don't make shit up. No one cut your wave. You lost fair and square."

Han grimaced ducking behind the door. "Shit, Zeke!" She hissed trying to find him under the debris.

Alexander, Fiona and Raven emerged from their tomb coughing and spitting out salt water. They fell to their knees choking and trying to clear their throats.

"Who the fuck are they?" Terra snapped. "Hey! That's Addy's kid!" Gale said. "That explains why my disappointment is here." A portly woman said. Han heard Constantine coughing.

"I told you not to keep that little shit. Should have aborted him the moment you got him." Terra snapped. Han peeked around the corner. 'Constantine's mum, is Aurora Eve!? Christ! How many World Rankers has Alistair fucked!?'

Constantine forced himself to his feet stumbling over to Alexander. "You...you okay?" Alexander nodded rubbing his throat. "Aww, look he actually made a friend." Gale said sardonically.

"Aunt Gale, Aunt Terra. I don't know why you're all here, but the entire area has been booked out by my father and Ken-GUARGH!" Constantine was blown away by a concussive force. Alexander slammed his fist into the ground.

"You fucking-HUEGH!" A pillar of dirt shot into his gut, shattering his ribs. He fell face first gasping and clutching his insides. Fiona and Raven rushed to their aid helping them up to breathe.

"Demon vermin, should learn to be quiet." Aurora said. She stood over them with brilliant blonde hair that touched her lower back, and a gaze that could strike fear into any monster.

Unlike her sisters, she wore a flowing white dress, instead of casual clothing. She towered over Fiona and Raven standing at two and half metres. Han peeked outside biting her lip. 'Shit! Shit! Shit! This isn't good! Zeke, where the fuck are you!?'

"You two look familiar. Have I seen before?" Aurora asked. "F-f-Fiona Linette..." "R-r-r-r-aven Frost..." "Ahhh! The daughters of the Frost Empire. What are you two doing helping these spawns?"

Fiona's whole body quaked and trembled. Raven clenched her fists holding Constantine tightly. "Because you hurt them, and they need it." "Oh? Do you wish to disappear with them?" Aurora asked raising her hand surging with violet lightning.

Zeke surfaced with a dramatic and loud gasp. It caught the attention of the Cataclysm Sisters. "MOTHER FUCKER!" He pulled himself onto the wooden slats wiping himself of the mud and shaking out the sand in his pants.

'Oh thank god you're alive.' Han let out a sigh of relief sliding down against the door. "He's the fucker that cut my wave!" Terra snapped. "And you're the cunt who made one." Zeke growled, staring her down. 'Oh fuck! You're alive!'

Aurora and Gale turned their attention to Zeke. "Watch your words carefully boy. I will have you apologize to my little-" "Raven, Fiona! Did those two do that to them?" Zeke asked ignoring Gale.

A vein popped on her forehead. Raven and Fiona nodded. "Take them to a hospital, and get the other girls out of here." Zeke said walking towards them with blobs of sand falling off.

"You three need to pay for the damages caused here, and then leave at once. This entire area has been reserved by-" A giant bolt of violet lightning struck Zeke, exploding into a cloud of black smoke.

The three scoffed rolling their eyes. "Such insol-" "By request of Kenji Serizawa for the sake of his daughter's birthday party." The three spun around seeing Zeke emerged unscathed and now clean of all debris and moisture.

"Did you miss?" Terra asked. "How could she miss? He's literally ten feet in front of her." Aurora raised her hand once more. "Now leave."

Hearing his demand Zeke was struck by another bolt ten times in size. Han slapped her ears shut going deaf from the thunder. Her ears rung and her head spun.

Zeke waved his hand blowing away the smoke. "You got that out of your system?" "What the..." "Who the..." "Wh..what is your name boy?" "You can learn it, when you get the fuck out of here."

Han slapped her forehead cringing and dying on the inside. 'GOD FUCKING DAMN IT ZEKE! WASN'T DYING ONCE ENOUGH FOR YOU!? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU PICKING A FIGHT WITH THE NEXT TOP 3!'