34. Chapter 34

"Here's to Jay being a kept man!" Atwater called out to the table, raising his beer for a toast. Erin narrowed her eyes at him and gave him an evil glare, but couldn't keep up the face. She clinked glasses with the table and shook her head at him.

"Well, Jay being a kept man, certainly worked out in your favor." Erin commented cheekily.

Kevin saluted her, "And for that I am thankful."

It really had all worked out unbelievably well. After asking Jay to move in on Christmas, he had been excited and then worried. After his failure to buy anything over the summer, he had ended up signing another year lease. He was in at his place until next September. Atwater had happened to overhear his discussion and had offered to take on Jay's lease. Kevin had been looking to move out for a while, but still wanted to be pretty close to his mom, so he could help out with his brother and sister. Jay's place was only a ten-minute drive from his childhood home, so it was pretty perfect. Jay had moved out leaving most his furniture for Kevin. Since Erin's place was already furnished and Kevin didn't really have anything, he was grateful. It had only ended up taking about 4 trips, and Jay was moved into her place.

Kevin and Jay started teasing each other about the color of Jay's old apartment and Erin had to agree with Kevin horror at the mustardy yellow walls. Kevin was trying to convince Jay as "landlord" to repaint. Jay offered up to paint it a nice lime or peach. Erin laughed at Jay and Kevin's antics, and then headed to the bar to try and get the next round of requested drinks. It was New Year's Eve and the team had been lucky to get out earlier enough to enjoy the holiday. Al and Voight were manning the office tonight and tomorrow if anything came in on their current case. As long as nothing too major went on, they were off until January second.

The bar was packed, but she managed to see a small opening and squeezed up to the bar. Tilting her head, she could see that Herman and Gabby were swamped down at the other end of the bar.

Erin groaned. "Oooh, this is going to take forever," She griped to nobody in particular.

"Yeah, they haven't made it down to this end in a while." A voice spoke next to her.

Erin spun around with a grin on her face to see who shared her impatient observation, only to be stunned into silence. "Oh, hi," she lamely said. Erin couldn't believe that Jenn, the girl that Jay had briefly been involved with was sitting next to her at the bar. Erin swallowed uncomfortably, and she darted another look down the bar to see if by some miracle one of the bartenders was headed their way as a distraction. Seeing no relief, she returned her attention to Jenn and gave her a tight smile.

"Busy crowd tonight," Jenn commented, surveying the room.

Erin gave a quick nod of agreement. The place really was packed. All the first responders in the area who weren't on duty seemed to have shown up. She wasn't exactly surprised to see Jenn, but at the same time, Erin had been blissfully lucky that they hadn't bumped into each other over the last month. She'd seen her from afar at a few crime scenes, and maybe they had crossed each other's paths a few times down by Platt's desk, but there hadn't been any direct interaction until now. Erin didn't know what kind of conversation they might need to have, but she did feel that there was maybe a bit of unfinished business regarding the situation. Last she had spoken to Jenn, Erin recalled being adamant that her and Jay were not together. Since their reunion, her and Jay hadn't exactly been discreet. Anybody who knew them would have seen them arriving and leaving the precinct arm in arm or hanging out a Molly's on other nights. After hearing about the gossip that was spread about their break up, Erin was pretty certain the news had gotten out that they were back together. Erin supposed there was a slight chance Jenn didn't know, but she was doubtful.

"Did you just get here?" Erin lightly asked, recalling how "handsy" Jay had been over the last hour. Truthfully, they'd been having such a fun time with their friends, that Erin had given very little attention to who else was here. Erin wasn't going to hide their relationship, but maybe she would be a little more tactful if she knew it was going to make someone uncomfortable.

Jenn gave a quick shake of her head, "No. My friends and I have been here an hour or so." She looked away and Erin could feel the tension between them.

Deciding not to beat around the bush, Erin let out a big sigh. "Well, you obviously know that Jay and I are back together. I'm sorry if that is hard for you, but I warned you things weren't quite resolved between us." Erin tried to speak kindly, but she didn't feel like she should have to justify herself to someone that was merely a blip of the span of their relationship.

Jenn rolled her eyes a bit, "Yeah, but you both actually told me your relationship was over, too." Erin could still see the hurt in the other girls eyes.

Erin sighed again. She really wasn't one for dealing with "girl drama." In the past, she'd just avoided situations like this all together. If some chick didn't like her, well, then they just had to deal with it. Erin did feel a little guilty about this situation though. Her and Jay had both tried to use other people to distract themselves from what was going on in their relationship. While Detective Garcia didn't seem all that broken up over her brush off, Jenn clearly had been much more optimistic about her and Jay's future. Whether he had intended it or not, the girl had clearly fallen hard for him.

She looked at the younger woman sympathetically, "Listen. Do you want to hear the whole truth? I'm not sure it will really help how you feel, but, I don't know, maybe it will."

Jenn looked doubtful and unimpressed, but then shrugged. "Okay, whatever." Erin saw that her eyes were distrustful. Erin supposed that she wouldn't really believe what "another woman" would tell her about a guy she liked either. Still, Erin felt she wanted to get things out in the open.

Erin took a deep breath. She wasn't one for sharing much about her personal life, but she did feel awkward about how things had gone down. "Okay. Well here's the truth. Last summer, Jay asked me to marry him, and I said no." Erin looked down for a moment, sadness filling her like it did every time she thought of the memory. "My brother had just died a few year months earlier, and I just wasn't in a really good head space to be thinking about the future." Erin looked back up at Jenn and wasn't surprised to see the shock on her face. "Yeah, it was pretty stupid of me. I loved him and I wanted to be with him, but I just messed everything up."

Erin saw the confusion on Jenn's face as she tried to process the idea of a rejected proposal. Erin doubted that had ever crossed her mind as the cause of their break up. Erin reached out and placed her hand on Jenn forearm. "Truth is, I broke his heart and he didn't even really understand why we broke up and why I said no. After we broke up we were both so hurt, yet still seeing each other every day. We were fighting constantly. We were both miserable. At some point, I think Jay was just trying to move on. Be happy somewhere…with someone else."

Jenn looked away for a moment, before returning her gaze to Erin, "So what changed?"

Erin shrugged, "I think I finally realized how stupid I was to push away the one person who loved me despite everything. Some other personal things were happening in my life, and Jay stepped in to help me out with that, too. Once we were around each other again, it just felt right."

Erin saw Jenn bite her lip again and look down. Erin didn't know if sharing the story had helped at all. "Maybe you didn't need to hear all this, I don't know. I just wanted to you to know that it had nothing to do with you. It was wrong of Jay and I to pull other people into our drama. You're probably a nice girl, and I don't think Jay had any intention of hurting you or blowing you off, or any of that."

Jenn snorted a bit and gave Erin a bittersweet smile. "I haven't dated much in the last year." She shrugged a bit, "Had my own relationship drama a few years ago and have been a little gun shy about guys. I just thought Jay seemed like one of the good guys. He seemed like someone real, that I could trust, someone I could count on."

Erin jumped to Jay's defense, "He is that kind of guy."

Jenn shrugged again, "I guess it just depends on what side of this situation you find yourself on." She took a deep breath, and seemed to shake off whatever was weighing on her mind. "I hope you two are able to work things out. It seems like you have a real strong connection, and that you've been there for each other."

"Thanks," Erin gave her another sad smile as Herman suddenly appeared and took their drink orders. Erin was relieved that awkward conversation was over. She knew that she didn't really owe the girl anything, but since they worked at the same precinct, she felt it was better that they had maybe cleared the air a bit.

Grabbing her drinks, Erin gave Jenn one more nod, before making her way back to the table where her colleagues and friends sat. As she approached, she immediately saw Jay lock eyes with her, and from the worried look on his face, he had observed her conversation with Jenn.

After she passed around beers and shots, Jay took a step up close to her and bent low to whisper into her ear, so the rest of the table couldn't hear. "You okay? That looked intense." He placed his arm on her back protectively, "I wasn't sure if I should go over there or not. "

Erin shrugged and looked up at him, "I just wanted to let her know, that it really had nothing to do with her. You and I just were messed up, and we shouldn't have gotten involved with other people." Trying to lighten the moon, she smirked at him a little bit, "You're such a heartbreaker."

Jay's worry briefly was erased from his face, "Shut up. I am not." He then frowned at her. "Is that what she said? That I broke her heart? I barely knew her." He said indignantly.

Erin laughed a little, "No. She didn't say that. I just think she liked you a lot. Maybe was hopeful it might become more." Erin got a wistful look on her face. "We're all just looking for that right person that makes us feel good about ourselves. I can't blame Jenn for hoping that you were that person for her."

Jay took a half step back and a humorous look crossed his features. "You're in an awfully magnanimous mood."

Erin gave him a little grin, "Must be the New Year coming. I want to start with a clean slate!" At that she grabbed her shot from the table and clinked it to his beer bottle. She quickly drained it and gave him a bright smile. "One hour to midnight!" She offered up the other shot to him.

He shook his head slightly, "No thanks. I'm staying away from the hard stuff tonight."

Erin laughed at him and teased, "Why? It's New Year's Eve. Time to celebrate! Be happy!" She brought his shot to her lips and took a small sip before holding it back out to him.

His eyes crinkled a bit as he grinned down at her, "I am celebrating. I'm spending the New Year with the woman I love. That's all I need to be happy."

Erin just looked up at him with shining eyes. She got so mushy inside whenever he said stuff like that. She never thought she be the type of girl who fell for that kind of stuff, and she never was before. Anytime a guy in her past got all lovey-dovey with the talk, she'd usually consider it a turn off. With Jay it was different. She actually knew he meant it. It didn't sound cheesy and fake because it wasn't it. She knew he meant it because she felt the same.

Suddenly Atwater burst through their bubble, "Okay, you two. None of that, yet. It's too early for all your gushy love stuff. You gotta wait until at least after midnight." He slung an arm across Jay's back. "Come on, bro. Your brother and one of those other high paid docs think they rule the dart board. Let's go lighten their wallets a bit."

Jay gave her one more of his trademark grins, one that was full of promise of what might be in store for later that night, and then made his way toward the corner dart board. Erin watched him go with what she knew was a goofy grin on her face. Honestly, she didn't even care who saw or teased her any more. She was done hiding her feelings. As the saying goes, "life's too short."

…

"But it's not even New Years in California!" Erin adamantly protested as she stumbled though the doorway of their apartment. "Or Hawaii! We've got hours of celebrating until Hawaii!"

Jay smiled indulgently at her drunken rambling as he locked the door behind them, "Yes, but we live in Chicago, and it's been New Years for hours, so I think we can call it a night on our celebrating." He dropped his keys on the entryway table and shrugged off his jacket. Even though he had been moved in only a few days, it already felt like home to him. As was his habit, he pulled off his boots and lined them up neatly by the door. He watched as Erin dropped her purse and jacket on the floor in the living room. Well, at least one of them was neat. Her place wasn't a mess, but she cleaned up when she felt like it, and didn't mind a bit of clutter everywhere. Jay's military background fought that kind of disarray, but he really didn't mind that much. He'd been around Erin long enough to know how she lived. Tonight, in her drunken state, she was a little more scattered. She was pulling off her jewelry dropping it as she walked.

It was almost 2 a.m. and they had pretty much shut down Molly's with their friends. Jay had been sipping soda for the last few hours, but Erin had liberally drunk throughout the night. She'd been so happy and joyful, that he just hadn't had to heart to tell her to slow down. His only concern had been that she's been over doing it after her conversation with Jenn. He didn't know exactly what the two had talked about, but he hoped it had been as simple as Erin had made it out to be. He was finally happy and had everything he'd ever wanted. He certainly didn't want some brief dalliance causing problems.

Around 1:30 a.m., Jay had finally cut her off and suggested they come on home. She had complied, but didn't want to end the party.

"But what about the Hawaiians?" She pleaded. "We need to celebrate with the Hawaiians! They need us, too." Her eyes were wide and serious, and she started to make her way over to the kitchen where she kept the alcohol. "They need to know we care about them."

Jay just laughed, and he gently prodded her towards the bedroom instead of the kitchen. "They will be fine without us marking their New Year." He knew she was going to be hurting in the morning. "How about you change into your pajamas, and I will get your something to drink?"

Jay saw her eyes brighten, and he knew she thought he was getting her a beer or a whiskey. He had water and an aspirin in mind though. He left her alone in the bedroom to change out of her party clothes, while he quickly gathered a cup of water and the medicine bottle. By the time he had returned, she had begun to change, her discarded dress and heels in a pile at her feet. She had somehow made it into some sweats, but was struggling to get her tank top on straight.

"Jay! My shirt is broken." She complained forlornly. Her head partially poking out one of the holes. "They forgot to add an arm hole." He could hear her sigh dejectedly from within the shirt and hair tangle.

Setting the glass of water down, Jay made his way over laughing. "That's because you are trying to get your head through the arm hole." He quickly maneuvered her head and slipped the shirt over her head.

As soon as her head peaked though the top, she narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you laughing at me?"

Jay smiled adoringly, "Of course, not." Tipsy and happy drunk Erin he thought was adorable, but he'd been around angry and depressed drunk Erin enough to know that she could get a little over emotional when she drank. He had no desire to have her good night take a sharp turn. "But I'm a little tired and ready to get some sleep. Do you think we can call it a night?"

Erin looked at him still suspicious, but her bleary eyes couldn't stay focused. Her eyes drifted to the table, "Oh, my drink." She stumbled over and took a hearty sip before pulling back and frowning at him. "That does not taste like a good drink."

"That's cause its water." He walked over to the attached bathroom and rifled through the medicine cabinet until he found the aspirin. He shook it to make it rattle. "I wanted you to drink a little and take a few of these before bed."

"I don't wanna…" she pouted, sticking her lip out.

"You are going to have a huge hangover in the morning, Er. I just don't want you sick." He held out the bottle.

She blinked her eyes a few times, and Jay could see her intoxicated brain warring with what was left of her sober mind. Finally, she nodded and reached for the bottle. Tripping over the discarded clothes and shoes that were at her feet, she lurched forward. The cup of water spilling straight onto Jay's pants and socks, soaking them thoroughly.

"Oh, no!" Erin exclaimed, she dropped to her knees, and grabbed her dress, trying to soak up the water.

Jay tried pulling her up, "Erin, it's no big deal. I was about to change anyways."

Erin's eyes were filled with dramatic concern. "I'm so sorry. Let me help you. I wanna take care of you. " She pushed him back onto the bed and spun around to get him his clothes.

Jay leaned back on his elbows and watched Erin wobbily make her way over to the dresser where he had just moved all his stuff into a few days earlier. It still made him smile to think of their stuff all together in the same dresser. It was such a little thing, but it made him happy. He saw Erin open a few drawers before she found the drawer where he had stashed his pajama bottoms. Pulling out a gray pair, she tossed them over to him. They landed on the floor at his feet, so he leaned down to grab them. While he was bending down, he felt something soft bounce off his head.

Glancing up quickly, another item of clothing bounced off his nose. Another came sailing his way, but he deflected this one with his hand. Realizing Erin was haphazardly tossing socks over her shoulder, Jay spoke up, "Erin. I, uh, only need one pair of socks."

"Where is it?" Erin's voice was suddenly tense, and Jay wondered if his earlier concern about emotional Erin was off base.

"What are you looking for?" Jay asked, not really sure what was wrong. Erin had pretty much tossed the entire contents of his sock drawer onto the floor. She now had opened another drawer and was proceeding to dump all his underwear onto the floor as well.

"It's not here! It's gone." Erin just rambled. Jay could hear the panic in her voice, and he stood and walked over to her in concern, even as she began to open another drawer.

"Erin!" He tried to gently grab her wrists to prevent her from throwing any more of his clothes to the floor. "What is wrong? What are you looking for?"

She fought his hands for a moment, before giving in and dropping her hands to her side. She looked up at Jay with tears in her eyes. "Did you get rid of it? You don't want to give it to me anymore?"

His heart broke at the sadness in her eyes. He knew she was drunk, but she just wasn't making any sense! "What are you talking about, Erin? What are you looking for?"

"My ring! I wanted to see my ring!" She yelled at Jay, who stood in open-mouthed shock.

Author's Note: Sorry it's been awhile again. I really can't write happy Linstead. It is just so hard to do happy little scenes. I really think next chapter might be the end. I've got another story in the works, and I am excited about it. I can always tell when I lose interest in a story because then my writer's block becomes intense. When I leave Jay and Erin pining and miserable, I can't wait to write for them and can finish chapters in a few days. These happier chapters take me weeks!