Her Holiness

What is this little girl spewing on about? What weird magic? And what does she mean by now she is a mortal?

"Who are you?" I ask.

I have so many questions I didn't know which one to ask, but that should do to begin with.

"Give me another one and I will tell you," the girl says.

"Another… oh, the candy?"

"Yes, yes." She nods, rocking her entire small body as she is doing it.

I take out another piece of syrup candy. She throws it into her mouth and devours it without batting an eye.

"So, um… who are you?" I ask again.

The girl licks her finger and says, "I am the Divine Goddess, stupid, can't you tell?"

What?

DOOK! I hear the sound of metal clashing with wood beside me. I look over to find Lohikaarmi prostrating herself like how she did to me when we first met.

"What is the meaning of this, Lohikaarmi? Don't you only bow down to me?" I ask, my voice coming across a bit more aggressive than I had intended it.

"I apologize, Master, but I have to show my respect to the Goddess," Lohikaarmi says with her forehead touching the wooden floor.

"See, she gets it," the girl says.

I turn back to the girl sitting in bed. Divine Goddess? She talks and acts no different from a little girl, a very bratty one, at that.

"How do you know she is not lying?" I ask Lohikaarmi, "She just looks like a normal kid to me."

"I can feel the divine energy emanating from Her Holiness. I was not sure until Her Holiness claimed it herself."

What is this Her Holiness business?

"Now you get it?" The self-proclaimed Goddess says, "Will you bow down to me, too?"

This girl.

"No, I will bow down to no one, but tell me, the weird magic you were talking about, were you…?"

The girl smacks my head, her soft swing registers no pain. "How stupid are you to still not understand?" She shouts, "I was the one you blew to smithereens in my domain!"

"Your domain…?" Is she talking about that white void?

"D-Did Master… defeat the Goddess?" Lohikaarmi asks as she lifts her head. Her eyes are wider than they usually are.

"I…"

The Goddess interrupts me again, "Yes, dragon girl. I was just minding my own business when this doofus pops out of nowhere and invades my world! And when I tried to stop him, he blew me out of my domain!"

How does she know that?

"Are you sure you are a Goddess?" I ask.

"Of course!"

"You don't talk like one."

"What do you mean I don't talk like one? I am the only one!"

"Well, then prove it to me," I say.

"Give me another one of those candies, and I will do it," she says and extends out her hand.

With every word that comes out of her, my doubt increases. I put another candy in her hand. She takes it a eats it.

"Good," the girl says with her mouth full.

After she swallows, the girl puts her hands together and closes her eyes, like the soldiers did who fought Lohikaarmi, but there is no light in her palms.

"Is this proof enough?" I hear a voice say. The girl's lips did not move, and the voice wasn't hers. It was the same as the one I heard back in the white void from the figure.

No way. That figure was really the Goddess? And she is now a little girl sitting in the bed a meter away from me? Did I actually defeat the Goddess with a thermonuclear bomb by accident?

"I-It's really you," I say with wide eyes.

"What happened, Kris?" Cisca asks.

"S-She just communicated with me telepathically."

Cisca's jaw drops.

"Do you believe me, now?" The girl says, her grin filled with smug.

"Y-Yeah. Wait… but if you are down here, where are the prayers going to?" I ask.

"I don't answer the prayers. Don't you think after thousands of years, the omnipotent Goddess has come up with a way to set up a system to reply automatically?"

I don't believe in God. I never had, but if I did, this is not how I imagined the creator of the universe would sound like.

"Right… so… what now? Is the world now just… without a Goddess?" I ask.

"Yep, and it's all your fault."

Hmm, I guess the age of enlightenment in this world is quite literal. Am I the new Friedrich Nietzsche?

"Let's um… let's get you back up there, then. How do I… go about doing that?"

"You don't. When enough time passes by, I will fully regain my divine energy. Then, I should ascend by myself."

"And how long will that take?"

"I don't know, a hundred years?"

That's a long time, or maybe it isn't. My perception of time has been all messed up after learning that I will live a thousand years.

"Aren't you mortal, though? Won't you die before then?" I ask.

The girl shakes her head and says, "No. When I said I am mortal, I meant I am on the mortal plane. Of course, the Goddess can't die, plus, this isn't the first time this happened to me."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it gets really boring up there, you know?. I occasionally take a break or two and just have a little fun."

"But…"

The Goddess slaps her bedsheets and says, "Actually, it has been a while since the last time I took a break. You know what? I thank you for reminding me of the importance of work-life balance."

"What?"

"You are from a different world, no? Along with that voice in your head?" She asks.

She knows about Cisca?

"Y-Yes."

The girl claps her hands "Great! Things have been boring for sooo long! Finally, something interesting is happening to me!" She exclaims.

Where is this going? I didn't expect the fucking ruler of everything to act like one of my employees.

"What are you…"

"How about this, I will make a deal with you," the girl says.

"A deal?"

"Yes. I will promise to not banish you to the eternal inferno when I get my old job back, and you have to promise to bring me with you along your journey."

"Um…"

"Oh! And one more thing. You have to keep giving me that candy of yours."

What in the world is happening? First a dragon, now the Goddess I asking to join me?

"Can I have a second?" I ask.

"Sure, talk it over with that voice in your head," the Goddess says with a smile.

I turn over to the other side.

"Cisca? W-What the fuck do I do?"

She is trying to pull out her hair right now in front of the camera.

"Kris, listen," she says, "there is a certain extent my scientific degrees can take me, and I am pretty sure deciding whether to befriend God is beyond that. I'm sorry, but you will have to make this choice by yourself."

Right… well, what's the worst that can happen?

"Deal," I say as I turn around to the girl.

"EEE!" She shrieks in joy.

"Good choice. I was going to follow you regardless of whether you agreed or not. There is nothing you can do to stop me, anyway."

"R-Right… and how should I address you? I can't go around calling you Goddess," I ask.

"Good point," she says while staring at the ceiling, "Hmm… I don't really have a name…"

"Well, in that case, how about I make one for you?" I suggest.

"You will?"

"Sure. I guess naming a deity might as well be a part of my job, now. Alright. How about…"

A perfect name comes to mind.

"Astra, how about Astra?" I say, "It means 'star' in an archaic language from my world."

Her face lights up brighter than it already was.

"Astra! That's beautiful! Now you all shall address as the Astra!"