4.1

We didn't talk much along the way and soon arrived at the determined cafe.

Because it was a weekday, it was relatively empty, and we were able to choose our seats freely.

After asking Horikita what she wanted to drink, I decided to point out a seat by the window and let her sit first.

We quietly stood in line behind two people who were already waiting at the counter.

Horikita, who had taken a seat, looked at me somewhat restlessly.

She was probably perplexed, not knowing what I would talk about next.

How to approach the situation, the strategy, the thought process, what to prioritize, and what to take as a secondary concern. I wasn't interested in knowing the details. I wanted to leave it all to the leader, Horikita.

Then, what was I going to do? Why did I arrange some alone time with Horikita?

It was to bestow a new strength upon Horikita.

A matter I had decided to entrust to her as the special exam was gradually approaching.

It could be done now because her mind was growing and maturing.

Knowing both herself, the class, and having found a friend.

That was why it was now possible to take the next step.

When my turn came, I ordered two blended coffees and waited near the counter for it to be prepared. After about two minutes, when the extraction seemed to be completed, two cups of coffee were brought over, and I grabbed the handles and headed to where Horikita was waiting.

"Thank you. The money—"

"That's fine. You paid for the karaoke. Besides, you treated me to lunch the other day."

"Well then, I'll gladly accept your offer."

We both slowly savored the hot, flavorful coffee.

Looking at Horikita's profile as she exhaled, I could see the fatigue.

Besides when she was asleep, she was probably constantly using her brain, whether it was a weekday or a holiday.

"...Is there something on my face?"

She didn't seem to like my blatant staring and gave me a glare.

"No, I was just thinking. Your hair has gotten quite long, hasn't it?"

Even as a diversion, it was quite effective if the person involved was concerned about it.

She ran her fingers through her hair and let her gaze wander.

"It's been almost a year since I cut it short. Time flies, doesn't it?"

"You were crying your eyes out."

"What would happen if a tragic accident occurred here, and I grabbed you and poured hot coffee directly into your shirt?"

"I would definitely get burned, and it would definitely be intentional, not an accident."

"You would dodge it if I tried to spill the contents all over you here, right?"

When we were at karaoke with Ryūen, Horikita had witnessed the time when I was about to be splashed with orange juice by surprise.

If you want to be sure it lands, grabbing me would be the right answer, but...

Getting splashed with coffee would result in damage incomparable to orange juice.

"Why are you trying to move seats? I would never do such a thing. I wouldn't cause so much trouble for the store."

"Please prioritize not causing major burns to a classmate instead."

"Really... you're such a strange one, aren't you?"

"Which part of this exchange makes me the strange one? You're the one who's strange."

In fact, I was just pushed around by Horikita's strange nature.

"I'm not weird. I just... sometimes my seriousness is misplaced."

Depending on your interpretation, it would be fair to call her a weirdo, but of course, I would never say it.

"So? This isn't what you wanted to chat about, right? We were supposed to be talking about the special exam..."

Indeed, it seemed to be time to get to the main topic.

"There's no need to be wary of our surroundings at the moment, but we don't have to casually disclose the contents of our strategy. What I want to know is a little different. I want to confirm what mindset you're going into this special exam with."

"...Um, I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'mindset.'"

"To win the exam. To rack your brains for it. And to struggle with decisions. That's something that you can now do with anyone. Like you do with Yōsuke and the others every day, and sometimes like you did with the group led by Ike. What I want to do here is something that can only be done between me and you, at least for now. This special exam is plagued by the issue of expulsions. If you look back, you can see right away, but I want you to tell me what kind of changes are happening inside you now compared to you during the unanimous voting exam."

By bringing up concrete points from the past, Horikita understood what I meant by 'mindset.'

"It seems like you're not mistaken when you say, this is a conversation only we can have..."

The act of exposing one's innermost thoughts.

Relying on companions was important, but it wasn't easy for the leader to show weakness.

"Should I assume that you'll correct me if you think my mindset is wrong?"

"Whether I can give appropriate advice or not is another matter, but I intend to express my personal view."

Hearing this, Horikita straightened her posture and met my gaze.

I thought she would start talking now, but Horikita narrowed her eyes and put a hand to her mouth.

"That's suspicious."

She seemed quite flustered, as if she hadn't intended to verbalize it.

"I'm sorry. I said something quite blunt, didn't I?"

"Am I really that suspicious?"

"I mean, you being concerned about me is, well, kind of creepy, don't you think?"

"I can understand that, but creepy is a bit too much."

"Yeah, you're right. Um, let me get my thoughts together."

Saying that, she straightened up once more.

"I want to ask you frankly. Have you decided what to do if we come in last place in this special exam?"

She didn't want to expel anyone.

But she had to choose someone to dismiss.

Although the situation was different, the same decision in the unanimous voting exam may have to be made.

"It's a hard question to immediately answer, isn't it?"

"That's right."

"Since that day, I have been questioning myself over and over again. At times, I feel guilty and regretful, even though I believe I made the right decision. It's a depressing thought."

She muttered, slightly lowering her gaze.

"I can't say for sure what will happen in the future. It's not just me, everyone in the class is growing little by little every day. Even if we rank them based on their abilities, it would fluctuate."

I couldn't deny that. There were days when Ike was at the bottom and days when Hondō was. Because we strove to avoid being at the bottom, it was natural that we couldn't decide who to expel in the future.

"But the next special exam is different. At least, I plan to face it with two options in mind in case we end up at the bottom. One is a less painful choice, the other is a bitter one. However, since there are various obstacles, there's no guarantee that the less painful choice can be realized..."

She seemed to have thought about it properly.

"If you end up placing last, you can't avoid selecting someone to expel. There's no dream story about losing without anyone getting expelled. There aren't enough Private Points to save everyone. Considering that, you have two choices?"

The latter, bitter choice must be to reluctantly expel someone. It's a leader's responsibility to choose from among those who have dropped out, even if she doesn't want to.

"Whichever it turns out to be, I've set up my own guidelines to choose without hesitation."

There was no point in bluffing in this situation. If she was bluffing, that said a lot about her.

Looking at Horikita, with her pure and straightforward eyes, I could see that she was prepared to make a decision, no matter what choice she faced.

"I understand. It seems that you won't be at a loss if you come in last."

"Perhaps I shouldn't think about losing in the first place, but since there's the risk of expulsion, I can't help but make a decision in advance. It's shameful, and you might laugh at it..."

"Where's the part to laugh at?"

"True... but... you don't normally think about losing first..."

"If you aim to win in the end, whether it's first or last, it isn't a mistake. You thought about what to do when you lost first because you care about the class. That's all there is to it."

"...Thank you..."

There was no reason to thank me, but she was in a position to listen to my advice. Perhaps that was why Horikita was honest.

"I'm glad my fears were unfounded. If something goes wrong, I'm sure I can trust you."

"You helped me in the unanimous voting exam. Ah, is that all you wanted to know?"

Horikita, who had relieved her heart a little, asked this, but the answer was unfortunately no.

"No, it's safe to say that we're just getting into the main topic."

"Is that so... Then, what is it? If you're not going to talk about a winning strategy, do you want to know what will happen after winning? No, it can't be..."

"Winning this exam means defeating other classes. And if we defeat them, a class at the bottom will inevitably be created. There's a high possibility that someone will get expelled."

"I guess so."

"But that 'someone' is not for you to decide. I'm sure it's obvious, but you understand what I'm saying, right?"

"Of course, each class leader will consider and decide."

"You learned how to deal with a dismissal from your own class due to your previous failure. But if I hadn't helped you, we wouldn't know what would've happened to the class now."

"As humiliating as it is, that's true. It wouldn't be surprising if the class had fallen apart."

"It's important to learn from your mistakes, but you can't fail every time. A safety net isn't guaranteed. Essentially, choosing the right answer from the start and steadily breaking through is a testament to one's true ability."

Holding a slightly cooled cup, Horikita quietly sipped her coffee.

"I think you're absolutely right."

"Let's get specific. There will undoubtedly be a time when we face a particular class directly. At that time, you will have three futures. One is where our class wins, one is where our class loses, and the third outcome is neither a victory nor a defeat, but a draw. What future would you prefer?"

"There's no question about it. I want my class to win; there's no other choice."

"Then let's add a new condition to the future. Your class wins, but as a result, the defeated class has an expulsion. How would you decide in this case?"

"I'm sorry, but we prioritize our victory. That's the right choice, isn't it?"

"So you would still choose your class's victory."

With my questioning, Horikita's lips slightly tightened.

"Is it wrong to prioritize winning, just like in this special exam?"

"No one said it was a mistake. Let's add one last condition. The specific class is Ryūen's class, and the one expelled is Ibuki Mio. Which of the three futures would you choose then?"

Not expecting this condition, Horikita froze after delivering a series of natural responses.

"...Ibuki-san...?"

"What's the matter? Which of the three options do you choose? Winning, losing, or drawing?"

"Hold on a minute. Ibuki-san is close to Ryūen-kun. I can't imagine she would be the first candidate for expulsion. Is this even a valid hypothesis?"

"A valid hypothesis? It's strange what you say. A hypothesis is just a hypothesis."

"But—"

"Ibuki's position and safety aren't guaranteed. With Ibuki's OAA assessment, she is perfectly disposable. Given Ryūen's personality, it's a possible scenario. Moreover, there's no guarantee that Ryūen can appoint someone to be expelled. Accidents that can't be avoided could happen."

Having been told this in a firm tone, Horikita unwillingly opened her mouth.

"...For the sake of our class's victory, it's natural to choose victory, even if it means Ibuki-san is the specific person who has to be expelled."

"You're unable to respond immediately. You clearly want to deny a future where you have to choose."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I don't know every detail about your relationships, but I believe that among the other classes, Ibuki is closer to you than most. And it's not just about whether she's 'close' or 'not close.'"

"If you're also considering 'not close' relationships, then yes, I won't deny it."

She kept eye contact, trying to project an attitude that expressed it didn't matter.

Although she said she didn't deny it, the truth was, she couldn't.

Even the person involved wasn't aware of it; it was a defensive reflex transmitted from basic instincts.

Not wanting to acknowledge it was proof that she knew it was inconvenient if she did. It might've been possible to deceive with visual information, but when it came to auditory information, higher skills were required. The more you tried controlling your behavior, the more negligent you became with your words.

"But in this special exam, the rule is that a student is expelled by another class. That is, for the first time, a student who we didn't anticipate might be expelled."

"You're saying that even Ibuki-san isn't an exception."

"If Ryūen had marked Ibuki as a candidate for expulsion, and it was clear that there was a high likelihood he was planning on expelling her if she was eliminated, would you still be able to play a move that eliminates Ibuki to win?"

Until now, Horikita, although agitated, had insisted on victory.

Her previously unyielding attitude was completely crushed for the first time.

Even indirectly, causing Ibuki to drop out by her own hand…

If this were a year ago, Horikita would have executed this without much hesitation.

But the circumstances had changed.

She got to know Ibuki. She deeply knew what kind of character she had and who she was.

Even though she was an enemy, she had undoubtedly become a friend.

"Why… do you ask such a thing?"

She didn't answer, but forcefully threw the ball back as if to escape.

"This special exam, it's a great chance to eliminate students you want to lose, but it's also the basis of the fight to lose those who are easy to lose. When you know that you can gain a strategic advantage by attacking Ibuki, are you able to take the lead as a leader without hesitation? Confirming that is my primary goal. I thought it would be helpful to start considering it now."

Even if I told her this on the day of the exam, it would be difficult to deal with calmly because of the limited time and tension of the battle. That was why it was a discussion to have now.

"You mean... I should be ready to lose someone like Ibuki-san or someone in the same position?"

"No, I'm saying it's important to be aware. You are so focused on your own class that you don't have a good grasp of the other classes. You just mildly thought 'I want to get rid of that person, I don't want this other person to drop out.' Did you prepare for this special exam with a clear sense of what to expect?"

"Well… no, I haven't. All I was thinking about was how to minimize the damage if I lose, who to expel from our side in case of emergency, and what I would need to do to win for the class."

Realizing that further denial was pointless, Horikita admitted it as if she'd given up.

She probably didn't think about who she was going to crush clearly.

Of course, it wouldn't be easy even if she wanted to crush someone. As the leader, she would keep the capable students since there was a high probability that multiple people would be eliminated. Therefore, she didn't think about it.

If she stopped thinking there, she wouldn't be able to keep up with the changes in the situation.

"So, what should I do about that problem...?"

"I told you. All you need is to be aware of it. Everyone has their own style of battle. Ryūen is ruthless to whoever he is up against. He's always thinking of ways to defeat the enemy's most capable students. Sakayanagi tends to target people she dislikes, regardless of strength or weakness. Totsuka is a good example. On the contrary, in Ichinose's case, she doesn't think about expelling the other party. There are tendencies, strengths, and weaknesses to each person like that."

"But I don't know what kind of battle suits me yet..."

"That's what this battle is about to show you. Whether to defeat the enemy or to protect yourself, if you are aware of both, you will see the way to fight. Don't fight aimlessly. Be conscious. Just by doing that, the world you see will change greatly."

Horikita closed her eyes and murmured something to herself with a slight movement of her lips.

I continued to silently watch Horikita until she showed some understanding.

"To be honest, I don't think I can maintain that awareness at this moment."

"I see."

"But I'll keep repeating it to myself until the special exam. If that doesn't work, I'll keep telling myself even after that. I don't know how far I can go... I'm sorry. I'm not good enough..."

She mocked herself for not being able to respond well.

"There's nothing wrong. You're already beginning to be conscious. I've made you conscious."

It's just a matter of time whether it will become complete now, tomorrow, or a little later.

I've almost finished analyzing the human being called Horikita Suzune.

A person who was competent compared to ordinary people with the ability to be recognized in society.

A person who had the qualifications to walk a happy life on the long road that would continue from now on.

But she probably wouldn't achieve remarkable feats in the future, or leave behind achievements for future generations. She had no remarkable ability to surpass others' many talents.

However, this was not yet a society. This was a school, a world where small and immature children gathered. In this miniature, garden-like environment, she had the potential to display abilities beyond imagination.

This was thanks to the new perspective that Horikita Manabu taught me.

If I hadn't been taught by him, I wouldn't have noticed her shining potential.

"That's all I wanted to say."

Horikita looked into my eyes intently, and continued to look straight into them without averting.

"Hey—what are you, exactly?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's exactly what I mean. I don't understand you at all..."

"Do you need to understand?"

"At the very least, as long as I'm the appointed leader, it isn't bad to get to know my classmates. Even for the next special exam, being aware of the details puts us in an advantageous position."

If she could grasp one's strengths and weaknesses in individual challenges, it could certainly be true.

"So, you understand Kōenji?"

"I can't say I understand him, but I think I have a grasp of him. Am I wrong?"

"...Quite right."

I brought up Kōenji's name to divert the topic from myself, but it was easy and simple to understand what kind of person Kōenji really was.

"You were uninterested in reaching Class A, and were fundamentally reserved and unsociable. But before I knew it, you started dating Karuizawa-san,  you started to help the class knowing that it'd make you stand out. There is no consistency in what you do."

"Can't you just take it to mean that I've grown? A once unassuming middle school boy goes through a High School debut, and little by little gains courage. Soon, he aims to rise to class A and starts getting excited, leading to how he is now— something like that."

"I can't see it like that. You don't fit into any conventionally assumed categories. I'm convinced of that. There's always a reason beyond ordinary thinking for what you do. Because..."

As soon as she said 'because,' Horikita lost her words.

"...How could such a personality be born, I wonder. What kind of child were you?"

"Changing the subject, huh? Even if you ask me what kind of child I was, I am still a child, as you can see."

"That's not what I mean. I mean when you were much younger. What elementary school did you go to?"

"You wouldn't know even if I told you."

"That's not necessarily the case, right? I might unexpectedly be from the area."

"I've already talked about something similar before. I don't feel like doing it again."

"...Is that so? Sorry, but I don't recall, can you tell me again?"

Even if I tried to avoid it, Horikita persistently questioned me.

"It's not something I can share. I want to keep certain things to myself."

I strongly conveyed that I was uncomfortable with further inquiries, and Horikita seemed to understand, albeit reluctantly.

Receiving a lot of information at once, Horikita's brain seemed to be considerably tired.

"You better take a break to calm down."

I suggested to Horikita, who was unable to decide on her next move.

"Yes, you're right..."

Before we could leave this place, we had to finish our drinks.

I also picked up my cup of coffee, which I had barely touched, and we drank almost simultaneously.

The temperature that reached my tongue was lukewarm.

"It's gotten cold."

"It's gotten cold, hasn't it?"

"Don't copy me."

"Please don't copy me."

It was a trivial matter, but the feeling that we were on the same wavelength was strangely funny.

"Eh—?"

It might be an exaggeration to say she was startled, but Horikita opened her eyes wide and let out a sound.

"What's wrong?"

"No... that... I just... saw you smile a little..."

"Huh? So, what's wrong with that?"

"It's just that I feel like I've never seen that expression on your face in the last two years..."

"How rude. I'm not a baby who's just learned to smile."

I've been told something similar before, and there have been many times when I've made a conscious effort to smile. It shouldn't be that rare.

Well... But...

"You're right, it might've been a rare moment."

At that instant, I couldn't recall at all making a conscious effort to smile.

The expression of an unintentional emotion.

How many such experiences have I had so far?

Neither an act nor a reading of the atmosphere, but just being natural.

From understanding how difficult that was, it became interesting.

It felt like a drop of color had been added to a blank sketchbook.

Not in front of Kei, nor in front of a friend like Yōsuke.

I didn't know why that expression appeared in front of Horikita.

"I wonder why I smiled. Would you know if you were the one who smiled?"

I had hoped that Horikita would have a clear answer.

I asked if it was a funny scene, looking into her eyes.

But Horikita averted her gaze and hurriedly replied.

"I... I wouldn't know either if you asked me with such a serious face."

"So, it's not that something particularly funny happened, right?"

"...As I said, I wouldn't know even if you asked me."

Horikita, who had turned aside, slightly raised her voice and sighed.

"Because of your strange thinking, I feel like a fool for laughing as well..."

Horikita gulped down the remainder of her coffee and stood up.

"Are we done talking? I have plans, so I should be going."

"Didn't you say you had no plans?"

"I just remembered I had plans."

She then picked up the empty cup she had drunk.

"I'll think about it by myself. About the next special exam, and everything thereafter."

"That's fine."

She was about to head back first but paused as though she had remembered something.

"Oh, right, sorry. There's something I need to confirm with you."

"Is it about the category to exclude in the special exam?"

"That's right."

"What about our other classmates?"

"I've heard from everyone but you. We really need to decide soon."

Apparently, while I had been taking it easy, Horikita had already finalized the arrangements with the others.

"Well, you probably wouldn't need to exclude anything, but what do you think?"

"Entertainment, music, and subculture."

"Those categories have nothing to do with studying. Same choices as mine."

"There were other categories that I was unsure about, but I wanted to exclude those in which I wasn't proficient."

News, lifestyle, and food. I probably didn't know much about those areas.

However, the three categories that I excluded were considered more difficult than those.

"Alright, I'll register those for you."

"Thanks."

Unexpectedly, this seemed to be an opportunity to reflect on myself.