ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

DEWEY TALKING

Ok, tonight is the night. After last nights fiasco and mishap, I get to spend the time with Purple and ask her to be my girlfriend. I've practiced in front of the mirror many times on how I would ask her, but I know I'm gonna mess it up. All I have to do is be confident. It's time to pick up the pie of pizza and drive straight to her house. I hope nothing goes wrong this time. I also hope that asshole CJ doesn't show up either. CJ is always around when chaos erupts. Enough about him. I just want my girl. Ok, ok here I go...Damn she looks so cute in those jean shorts and black tank top. Damn I just want to get lost in her.

"I got the pie of pizza."

"Place it on the coffee table." Why is she sitting so far away from me? Do I stink? I did shower before coming over. I'm just gonna have to get up and pretend to need a stretch, then sit next to her. Halfway through the movie, the doorbell rings. Who the fuck could that be?

"Who could that be?" He suddenly looked worried. He heard male voices and rolled his eyes then turned forward to watch the movie until he felt a presence behind him. Both he and Purple turned around to see CJ standing behind the couch. That fucker just jumped over the couch and sat between my girl and me. Are you fuckin kidding me?!

"So what are we watching?" Dewey watched in disbelief as CJ sipped soda from Purple's cup and ate a slice of pizza that he brought.

Dewey squinted his eyes at CJ, "I hope you choke." He mumbled.

"What was that?" CJ asked with his mouth full then smirked at Dewey.

"CJ if you're going to watch the movie with us then you need to not talk please." Purple scolded him, only to make CJ pout.

"Sorry." He winked at her with a dashing smile then he turned to Dewey giving him the finger.

"Asshole." Dewey whispered as he glared daggers at CJ.

"Eat me toe fungus." He whispered back. Just then Purple rose up and grabbed the empty soda bottle bending slightly over to grab it, CJ stared at her ass. "Nice view."

"Excuse me?" She turned to look at him.

"I said are you getting a new bottle?" CJ mentally patted himself on the back for thinking quick.

"Um yes and a new cup for me," she wrinkled her nose. "You can keep that one."

CJ leaned his head against the backrest of the couch. "Can you please bring more ice?"

"Sure, no problem." She rolled her eyes. As soon as she left the room CJ turned to Dewey.

"It's not happening you fuckin green phlegm."

"I believe that's for Purple to decide you dick."

"You just need to keep your fantasies in check worm dick."

"Huh?" He gave him a strange look.

"Worm dick as in your dick is the same size of a worm's dick." CJ used his pointer and thumb to emphasize the small length.

Dewey rolled his eyes at CJ's logic. "Worms don't have dicks CJ."

"How do you know?" CJ's eyebrows went up in accusation.

" The red bulgy areas is the worms genitals you dumbass."

CJ pointed an accusatory finger at Dewey. "You perv! How long have you been checking out worms genitals? Like did you actually touch it?"

"What? No!" Dewey shook his head. "You're going off topic." He massaged the back of his neck.

"Stay away from her worm dick boy." He pointed his finger sternly at Dewey's chest.

"I will not! I like her and I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend whether you like it or not!"

"As long as I'm here, that's not gonna happen." Just then Purple walked in with another two liter soda and a large cup of ice that she poured half into CJ's so that his soda can be cold. "Thank you angel eyes."

"You're welcome." She smiled. "I brought some for you too Dewey." He smirked at CJ and thanked her as well. To Purple's relief, Stacey and DJ finally joined them taking the love seat to their left. The tension between CJ and Dewey wasn't good and the dislike was emanating through the air making it heavy and hard to breath.

"Hey Purple can I talk to you...in private." He smirked to only receive a hard glare from CJ.

"Oh yeah sure." She was about to walk away when suddenly CJ stood up to pour himself soda and made sure that he lost his grip and spilled most of the soda on Purple. "Ugh CJ!"

"Shit Purple I'm so sorry." He grabbed a few napkins and began patting her shoulder in the attempt to dry it.

"I'm sorry Dewey, but I need to shower and change." It was Dewey's turn to glare at CJ and CJ to smirk at Dewey. Stacey and DJ laughed as they shook their heads.

"Do you need help angel eyes?" He smiled at her playfully.

Purple rolled her eyes, "No CJ, I can manage just fine." She looked at Dewey. "Um can we do this another time?"

"Sure. I'll see you at school tomorrow. Good night."

"Good night." She left and went up the stairs to bathe and change. CJ waited for her to go upstairs before opening the door for Dewey to leave.

"Good night worm dick." He waved a few fingers at him before turning it up and giving him the finger.

"Fuck you CJ. This shit ain't over." He walked outside to his car and glared at CJ before getting in and driving away. CJ plopped himself on the sofa with a big smile on his face. A triumphed smile.

DJ looked at his brother, his eyes full of amusement. "You're such an asshole."

Stacey nodded, "You thought quick." She laughed.

DJ kissed Stacey's temple. "My brother the lovesick genius."

"I did what I had to do to stop that dick worm from making it official."

Both Stacey and DJ looked at each other, then at CJ. "Dick worm?"

"Yeah, apparently the red bulgy areas are the worms genitals."

Stacey scrunched up her nose, "I don't think I want to know how you know that." She placed both her legs up on the sofa to the side.

"Anywhooo," DJ began. "Now is your chance to ask her out on that date and you have five minutes cause we have to go."

"Ask who out?" Maggie scared the trio who were unaware of her presence as she waited for an answer with her arms crossed over her chest. "There won't be any asking out. You two boys need to go home it's late." DJ and CJ sat up quickly and innocently smiled at Maggie.

"Umm yes ma'am." DJ and CJ headed towards the door. "See you at school tomorrow Stacey." Both brothers left hastily. Maggie and Stacey remained alone in the living room.

"Stacey, what did I say about having your boyfriend and friends at my house late and when there is school tomorrow?"

"Sorry mom." She felt awkward. "I didn't realize how late it was."

"Get ready for bed." She said dryly then proceeded to her own room. Stacey didn't respond. She did as she was told and went to bed. Purple was snuggled up in her own bed already passed out.

CJ TALKING

DAMN IT! I WAS THIS CLOSE! Ugh, I have to get Purple alone and ask her out on a date. I'll do it tomorrow at school. I have to be smooth about it. I took out all the other competition so I should be good right?

*MONDAY*

CJ and his brothers were waiting at their usual area for the girls. CJ was pacing back and forth until TJ finally had him sit down to relax. "Shit where the fuck are they?" He was growing inpatient.

"They should be here in another 2 minutes," TJ said calmly. "You need to chill dude." He clapped CJ's shoulder. Just then CJ caught a glimpse of Stacey and Vanessa. Audrey finally appeared, but Purple wasn't with them. He jumped up from where he was sitting with his eyebrows furrowed. His eyes searched, but nothing.

Vanessa smiled, "Hey guys." She walked into AJ's waiting arms giving him a peck on his lips which he happily returned.

Stacey walked up to DJ, wrapping her arms around his waste. "Hey..." She was cut off.

"Where's your sister?" He whispered close to her ear. Stacey didn't say anything. She just moved her eyes to look behind him then CJ followed her gaze. His mouth fell open when he saw Dewey talking with Purple. They were both smiling and laughing. CJ felt nauseous as his fist clenched at his sides.

DEWEY TALKING

I have to win that prick in his own game. After last night's fiasco of him spilling the soda on Purple, I can't help but feel that he was behind the water incident at the restaurant and me ending up in the pond at the party. So I decided to arrive extra early at school and steal Purple away from her sister and friends so that I can ask her out.

"Hey good morning Purple." Dewey blocked her from continuing to walk with her sister and friends. "Can I talk to you?" She nodded.

"Yeah sure." She called out the girls. "I'll catch up with you in a few." Stacey nodded and kept walking. "Before you say anything I want to apologize for what happened last night."

"Don't worry about it." He laughed through his nose.

"So what is it that you want to talk about?" She waited for him to respond. He cleared his throat and new that he had to act quick before CJ did something to stop him from getting his girl.

"Purple, I really like you. I mean, I really, really like you. Do you like me?" He blushed somewhat as he waited for her to respond.

"Oh." She whispered. "Umm I like you too, but...."

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He practically pleaded.

"Ummm...I don't know...Can you give me time to think about it?" Dewey felt nervous with that response. However, she didn't say no either. She only needed time to think about it.

"Yeah, like do you need until Art class? Lunch time? After school?" Dewey was said playfully, but deep down he was cringing.

"Just time to think about it, ok." She lightly touched his arm.

"Ok." He stepped closer. "Here's something to help you make a decision." Before Purple knew what he meant, his lips were on hers. "I'll be waiting for your answer" He said against her lips before walking away leaving Purple stunned where she stood.

CJ TALKING

ARE YOU FUCKIN KIDDING ME!? THAT FUCKIN WORM DICK, SNEAKY, PRICK!!! I'M GONNA MAKE HIM REGRET EVER TALKING TO HER! AND HE KISSED HER!!! HE FUCKIN PLACED HIS WORMY LIPS ON HER LIPS!!! UGHHHH!!! FUUUUUCCCKKKKK!!!!

Purple walked heavy in thought to the group of friends that started heading towards her. CJ stood right in front of her making her stop. She looked up, he looked down.

"so what was that about?" He noticed that he sounded kind of creepish, but there was no going back now.

"Oh nothing." She half smiled up at him. "See you inside." With that, she turned around and walked into the school.

Later during school CJ caught up with Dewey in the boys bathroom. Both boys looked at each other with so much distaste. Dewey walked up to the sink and began washing his hands.

"You're too late CJ. I asked Purple to be my girlfriend." He smirked as he grabbed paper towel to dry his hands. "This time you weren't there to disrupt me." He tossed the used paper towel in the waste basket.

"Why Dufus, what is it that you mean?" He put his most innocent face to play.

"I know that it was YOU who made the sprinklers in the restaurant go off when Purple and I were having dinner and I know that it was YOU who had Mick ram into me making me fall into the pond. You are one creative fucker and for that I must give you credit."

"I still don't have a clue what you're talking about. " CJ was not about to admit to any of his schemes to that idiot. "I didn't even know that you took her out." He played innocent.

"Whatever man. Look I asked her out and now she's thinking about it."

"Thinking about how to let you down gently." He smirked. Dewey only glared at him.

"She won't." He was too confident for CJ's liking and it showed on his face. "Seems like I struck a cord." He walked past CJ to open the door. "Oh just one more thing...Stay away from my girl." He walked out of the boys bathroom leaving CJ to gloat in his anger.

*STACEY'S ROOM*

Vanessa was painting Audrey's nails while Stacey was brushing Vanessa's hair. Purple came into the room worried and confused.

"What is it Pur? You look like you ran a marathon with all that heavy breathing." Stacey as with concern.

"Sure it was a marathon and not something else?" All the girls giggled as Vanessa wiggled her eyebrows.

"Geez Vanessa, pull your head out of AJ's pants for a sec will ya?" Purple laughed along with the girls.

"Ha! She's blowjob girl. Hey, if you were a superhero, your name would be blowjob girl!" Audrey jumped in to make a joke.

"Ohhh that's a good one Audrey." Purple laughed along with Audrey. Purple decided it was time to change the topic and blurted out what happened in the morning. "DEWEY ASKED ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND!" All three girls stood looking at her stunned. Not one said a word. There was no reaction of any kind.

"Please tell us that you said No." Vanessa held her breath.

"I told him that I need time to think about it." She nervously bit her lower lip as she scratched the back of her head.

"Do you actually need time or do you know already?" They all looked at her when Audrey asked the question.

"I mean he is a nice guy, but...."

"But not for you." Stacey finished for her.

Vanessa nodded at Stacey's comment as she looked at Purple."You said but, which means that you already know your answer Pur."

Purple put her head down feeling guilty. "I don't want to hurt his feelings..."

Audrey took Purple's hands within her own. "What about your feelings Purple? Are you willing to be in a relationship that is only one sided?"

"No, I don't." She sighed.

"Invite him over to a cafe for coffee and tell him then." Stacey suggested.

"That seems like a good idea. I'll do that."

"After you let him down, you need to go to the one who you really like and let him know how you feel." Vanessa also suggested.

PURPLE TALKING

I feel bad about letting Dewey down, but it wouldn't be fair to the both of us if I'm not 100% committed to the relationship. I couldn't ever lead someone on. It's just not me. I just hope that Dewey is still willing to be my friend after I turn him down. I mean, if he doesn't I will have to respect his choice. Now I will have to muster up the courage to speak to the one that I really like and this won't be easy. Not at all.

A/N: Sorry this chapter was short, but the next one will be longer. I promise. What do you think about CJ and all his crazy antics to keep guys away from Purple? Please comment, give it a star and share.