Chapter 9: Julien's Secret Meeting and Best Friend

One week ago

{Julien}

Sleep did not come easy that night, and I'm not entirely sure why. My mind kept wonder back to Rosalina and the kiss we shared only hours ago. But when I finally did fall asleep, I dreamt of my mother.

"Mother, meet my fiancé, Lady Rosalina Hastings."

Rosalina curtsies before my mom saying, "How do you do, Lady Gray?"

"Very well, sweet girl. And you?"

"I'm quite alright."

My mother smiles politely. "She's a very fine woman, Julien."

She leans close to Rosalina and whispers, "Take good care of my son, dear. I know I won't be around to do it anymore."

Her words make me frown. What does she mean by that? She's always here. Always.

"Of course, Lady Gray."

"Mother, what are you talking about?"

She laughs lightly. "Oh, nothing, dear. I think Rosalina will make a grand addition to our family."

I can't help but swell with pride.

She pats Rosalina on the cheek gently. "You're a stunning girl. If only you had a better future husband than him."

My smile falls and my eyes go wide.

"He's much like his father. He's very troubled. I'm afraid you just might turn out like me, Rosalina."

"You're wrong…" I mumble.

"No," Rosalina turns to me. "She's absolutely right. You're no better than him. You're just going to hurt me too. You cannot be loved. You're a monster."

"No… I'm not."

"But it's okay, my child. You see, it was bound to happen. With your father being the way he is, it's only natural that you turned out like him, especially so with me out of the picture."

"No!"

"You're going to hurt me, Julien," Rosalina tells me. "You're going to hurt me and get rid of me just like your father did to your mother. You'll do it because you're a demon."

"SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP."

I sit straight up in bed, drenched in sweat, and breath heavy. It's pitch-black dark.

A groggy soft voice speaks up. "Lord Julien are you—?"

It's Hollis. I forgot she was here. "Get out," I groan softly, pressing the heel of my hands to my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I can't understand y—"

"GET OUT," I yell at her through my teeth. She flinches and scrambles out my bed. "GET OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW."

She grabs her clothes and runs out of my room stark naked.

The second the door closes a sob escapes me and I bring my knees to my chest.

"I'm not like him," I mutter to myself. "I'm not like him… I'm better than he could ever be. I will protect her, not hurt her… I am better than could ever be. I will protect, not hurt her." Tears can't help but pour down my face. "I WILL PROTECT HER!"

Suddenly the door opens and I see Kali holding a candle.

"Young Master Julien, what on earth are you doing in here?"

I blink rapidly, quickly wiping my face as I lower my knees. But Kali can't be fooled.

"What's wrong, young master?" She asks me, her voice soft as she lights the candle next to my bed, allowing more light in.

"Nothing," I murmur.

She gives me an unconvinced look. "Come now, you can tell me. I know I shouldn't pry, but I've been here for ages, child, I practically brought you up for a good bit of your life."

She's not wrong…

"Mother," is all I say.

"Oh, Young Master Julien," Kali says sadly. She places a motherly hand on my shoulder. "I miss her too, child. I miss her too."

You're pathetic.

What are you, five?

Grow up. This is no way for a man to act.

I take a deep breath, give her a cold look, though she seems unfazed. "I'm fine, Kali. You may go now."

She looks rather reluctant. "Are you sure?"

"Don't make me say it twice."

She bows her head. "Of course, young master."

Kali rises and leaves. Part of me doesn't want her too. But what I want doesn't matter. It's who I am that does. Crying shows weakness. I don't need my mother. And I certainly don't need a servant to comfort me. I'm not pathetic. I'm a grown man. And I won't cry like that again.

•{}{}{}{}{}•

My eyes open slowly when I wake. My body is stiff and my jaw is sore which tells me I had my teeth clenched and my muscles tensed all night. I groan as I sit up and stand, deciding to stretch and attempt to loosen my joints. While I'm doing so, the door opens. I turn to find my sister peeking her head in.

"Hey," she says softly. I grunt out my response as she steps in and closes the door behind her. "Kali told me what happened…"

"Fantastic," I retort sarcastically.

Clara crosses her arms, obviously not appreciative of my attitude. "Are you alright?" She asks me cautiously.

I scoff as if the answer to her question is obvious. "I'm fine, Clara."

"Are you sure?" She pushes. "Having night-terrors like that aren't normal, bother."

"My dreams are none of your concern," I snap.

She walks closer to me. "I'm worried about you, Julien." She reaches to touch a hand to my cheek but I turn away, avoiding the gesture. This makes her frown. "Julien. Look at me."

"What do you want from me?" I deadpan. "You want me to open my heart? Pour out my feelings? Sorry to disappoint you, Clara, but it's not happening."

"Why not?" she shouts childishly. "It's not that hard, Julien!"

"Just leave me alone, Clara. I don't have time for this right now."

She glares daggers at me. "What could possibly be more important than your own sister, hmm?"

"A meeting I have at noon," I respond monotonously, getting dressed.

"A meeting!?"

"Yes."

"You're terrible," she says with disbelief.

"So I've been told," I reply, nonchalant as I adjust the cuffs of my shirt. I finally look my sister in the eye. "I don't owe you anything, Clara."

She purses her lips together. "No, I suppose you don't owe anyone anything. You're a selfish son of a bitch." I roll my eyes, walking out of the room with her cursing me to hell behind me.

I enter my study to find Giovanni is already in there. I wonder why no one came to alert me…?

"Lord Julien," Giovanni says.

"Lord Howard," I say in the same tone, sitting in the chair opposite of him. "So, at the ball last night, you spoke of having information you weren't comfortable with sharing in such a public setting. Surely this is more to your liking?"

"Why, yes, of course," he says.

"Alright then," I state, leaning back in my chair and lacing my fingers together. "What did you find out?"

"Well, sir," he starts, pulling out a piece of rolled up parchment. "It would appear Lord Hastings has invested $7,035 to David Miller, he gave $3,864 to Jones Hunter and Larry Smith, he then handed $980,965 to William Brown--"

"How long is this list exactly?" I inquire.

Howard grimaces. "Very long, milord."

I hold my hand out and he passes it to me.

David Miller: $7,035

Jones Hunter: $3,864

Larry Smith: $104,828,704

William Brown: $980,965

Rolland James: $1,009,999,825,580

Hunter Johnson: $3,000,156,179

Ashe Wintergreene: $4,010,243,356

Clark Taylor: $989,784,920

Parker Wilson: $50,894,169,397

Walter Thompson: $12,960

Holland Yorke: $500,000,000

Gregor Reeves: $499,987,040

Harold Frey: $2,489,782

Martin West: $7,693,038

Brina Connor: $4,000,000,000

Jenna Kay: $30,000,000,000

Daniel Kingston: $609,897,501

Glenn Wallace: $390,102,499

Yennifer George: $99,000,000,000

Theodore Jackson: $359,251,820,533

Georgia Hayden: $40,000,000,000

Joshua Young: $748,179,467

Holden Dimitri: $3,400,000,000,000

Grand total: 5,000,000,000,000

I rub my chin in deep thought. There's a lot of women on this list, many of them I know and I also know their husbands. I wonder if they know what their wives are doing… And Holden Dimitri got the biggest sum of them all… But why? And the name Young is familiar… I just can't place the name with a face...

"All of those names are some well known people," I state, laying the parchment down.

"Yes, Lord Julien, very well known indeed."

"Do we know why he's given this much money?" I question.

Giovanni Howard only shakes his head. "Still working on that, milord. Like I told you at the ball, from what it seems, it's all underground business, so it is much harder to uncover."

"Well…" I pause, glancing at the sheet again. "Good work. If that is all, you may leave." He hesitates for a moment. "What?" I ask, slightly annoyed.

"Well, milord, some of this money Charles Hastings did pay but a great portion of it… he did not."

My eyebrows shoot up. "What?"

"What he has paid was loaned out from the bank, and the rest was just… empty promises."

I lean forward, very intrigued. "How much money was 'promised'?"

"Only $173,500,000,000 of the $5,000,000,000,000 was paid."

"So that leaves…" I grow quiet for a split second, doing the math in my head. "... 4,826,500,000,000 unpaid dollars." I huff dramatically. "Seriously, how stupid is Charles Hastings?"

"Here's another thing, milord, he only paid the women."

I cock my head to the side. "Curious…" a moment of silence. "Well, it'll all come out eventually— the good and the bad. However… it's strange that Dimitri, of all people, was the one he paid the most…"

"He is very high on the status board," Giovanni comments.

"Precisely… why would he need that much money? Why would Charles say he would pay him that much money?"

"I...I'm not sure, milord."

"We'll figure more out as we go. Take your time and make sure it's the right people. I'm going to write these names down in order of lowest amount paid/ told they would be paid to highest. I will be making rounds on them doing my own investigating."

"Then… what do you want me to look in to?"

"I want you sticking close to Charles. Let me know if he tries to give anyone else money." I sigh. "Honestly, what idiot promises money that he doesn't have?" I turn to Giovanni. "You can go now."

"Of course. Good day, milord."

I only nod as he takes his leave. I pinch the bridge of my nose at the stupidity before. What on earth is Hastings up to?

Not a moment later, there's a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I say exasperatedly.

"M-milord, Lord Gray wants to see you," it's Hollis.

"What does he want?" I ask dryly.

"He didn't say…"

I let out a harsh laugh. "Of course not."

I make my way down to my bastard father's study, wondering what he could need from me. I am barely in the door when he tells me to sit down, but I stay where I am.

"Julien," he says sternly. "Sit. Down."

"I'm quite fine where I am," I retort.

"That wasn't a request," he states.

"And my response isn't negotiable."

My father quirks an eyebrow and I stare back at him dead-faced and non-moving. He's challenging me, but I won't falter. I will not succumb to him. He is weak. Weaker than he thinks.

"I don't like how you've been speaking towards your sister lately," he tells me.

I roll my eyes. Of course Clara told him. Of-fucking-course. "What? Are you going to parent me now? Hate to break it to you, Father, but I'm an adult now. And you lost that right a long time ago."

"Julien, this behavior is not acceptable!" My eyes narrow. "You are to be married soon. Stop acting like a child. And do not forget the job you have. You are here because of me. I'll stop treating you like a toddler when you stop acting like you. Be nicer to your sister and get out of my damn sight!"

"Yes, Father." I turn on my heels and walk away, anger coursing through my veins. I want to punch something. I want to break something. I want to cuss someone out.

I'm almost to my bedroom when Kali stops me. I refrain from letting out a vexed groan. "What, Kali?" I snap. "What?"

She put her hands on her hips. "Don't give me that, young lord, you have company."

"Who else wants me? Who else?" I say angrily.

"Lord Danvers."

"You've got to be kidding me," I say darkly.

I'm so tempted just to walk around her and lock myself in my room, but I know Rowan Danvers. And he would most likely try to climb in through my window, or bust down my door. This day has been bad enough. I don't need this to get worse by having my door broken off its hinges.

So, I walk away from Kali and head towards the entrance where I find Rowan Danvers talking to my sister— or should I say flirting with my sister.

"Back off, Danvers," I hiss.

Clara turns her nose up and me and walks away with a theatrical "Hmph!"

Rowan looks between me and my sister, who's just walked around the corner and disappeared from my line of vision. He then laughs loudly. "What did you do to her to make her stalk off like that?"

"She's just being emotional," I state with the roll of my eyes.

This just makes him laugh more. "Julien, you can't fool me. Clara is the most level-headed person I've ever met. And I know you tend to be a bit harsh. So, what did you say or do that made that girl mad at you."

I shrug casually, leading us towards the den. "I called her bluff. And, I don't want her pity. I don't need to be coddled."

Rowan just sighs. "Julien, she is your sister."

"You don't have to remind me," I grumble, falling into a loveseat.

"She just wants to help."

"But I never asked for her help," I snap.

Rowan throws his hands up in defense. "Hey, look, I understand, my friend. Just go easy on her."

I click my tongue. "That's not easy with how much she grovels at that bastard's feet."

"He's you two's father."

"He is nothing,�� I seeth.

"I know, Julien, I know. I'm on your side here, remember?" It takes everything in me not to laugh. The irony of those words. Haven't I heard them before in a similar scenario? "Nicholas Gray is a piece of shit. I stand by you on that."

"Damn right he is…" I mumble to myself.

"I'm just saying you don't have to take it out on your sister. Let her love him. You and Clara have very different viewpoints in this situation. She's never attacked you for not liking him has she?"

I'm quiet for a moment. "No…"

He nods his head as if he already knew the answer before I said it. "Precisely, so you can do the same for her." I feel like a kid being scolded. Before I can even say anything back, Rowan continues. "Now, let's get down to why I'm really here." My eyebrows furrow. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED YOU LITTLE FUCKER!?"

My eye twitches at how loud he is. "First," I say, "you don't have to scream. And second, I wasn't aware I was obligated to tell you."

"I wasn't aware that you weren't aware that we are best friends and you didn't think to tell me!" He gives me a mock hurt expression. "Honestly, I'm hurt." I just stare blankly at him. "I mean, how long has this been going on, Julien? How long have you two be together before this!?"

I shake my head, slightly amused by his shock. My only response is, "A while."

He whines like a two-year old. "Come on! I need more than that! How is she? What does she look like?" He suddenly gets a mischievous look on his face. "How far have you gone."

I scoff as he wiggles his eyebrows. "Mind your own business, Rowan."

He gives me an unimpressed look. "When do I get to meet her then?"

"The wedding," I deadpan.

"I'm not waiting that long! I would have come to her part if you had told me."

"You can wait a few more weeks."

"Julien!" He drags out my name childishly. His face then lights up. "Can I be your best man!? Please!?"

His question takes me a bit by surprise. "I--uh…I guess?"

He lets out a shout of happiness. "MY BEST FRIEND IS GETTING MARRIED!"

I sigh loudly, watching Rowan dance in joy.

I don't understand why that makes him so happy. Rowan has always been such a lively person. I'd never admit it out loud, but Rowan is someone I'm rather fond of. He's almost like a brother to me.

Rowan continues to make a fool of himself, almost acting girlishly as he talks rapidly about how happy he is for me. I can't help the small smile that makes its way onto my face and I find myself… thankful that I have him.