My Strength

When I went towards the entrance, I remembered that I forgot to take my phone. No! I am not a phone addict. But, Whenever, I am disturbed by anything, I will talk to my dad. Any time of the day. I still remember the conversation, I had with him on the phone in the middle of the night after I faced a nerve-wracking humiliation by proposing to My Ame.

*****That Night (FLASHBACK)******

"Hello! Dad, are you sleeping? Did I disturb you? What am I even asking? I certainly disturbed you by calling in this time......" I started to Blabber not even knowing why I called him. What will I answer when he asked me why I called him at this hour? That too, my voice was heavy, tired, lost, hoarse after crying for what seemed like hours. Maybe, Really in hours.

"Hey! Hey! Relax! You can never disturb me. My cutie pie could never make me feel disturbed. Ok? Sweetie. Just take a deep breath and relax." He said in a soft torn laced with concern.

I took a deep breath and relaxed as he said.

"Sweetie! Listen Carefully, You can...No! You should call me when you are disturbed. At any time, baby. I know that we can't always tell all things our parents. It's natural. But, Don't worry! I would never judge you. Never ask the reason for your problem. I will be a good listener. Giving a much-needed consoling embrace. Do you understand, Calla?" He said in a tone that is not like a father but like my personal consoling friend. I love him so much for that.

"Mmm!" I hummed tears flowing freely hearing his embracing words. I cannot trust my voice, Now.

"Are you okay, Calla?" He asked so softly like a marshmallow which made me finally break down with a loud sob. Tears soaking my face.

Memories flashed through my eyes, scene after scene like a damn movie. That I unsuccessfully tried to dump in a corner of my brain.

"Aren't you a bitch trying to seduce me with your oh-so innocent conversation?"

" Aren't you a home wrecker trying to break a couple?"

"Ah! Aren't you the merit student who studies in this Richie college full-on scholarship?"

" So, I see girls like you now, start your plan to seduce and marry a rich guy as soon as you enter the college. How considerate you are of your future? Starting your gold-digging right from college's first year."

I started shaking my head vigorously not able to tolerate these heart-wrecking moments invading my mind threatening to leave a dark mark on my soul.

"No! No, Dad! I am not fine! It hurts so bad, dad. I don't like it. I am not fine at all." I spoke my voice barely coming out clearly as I am sobbing, my throat filled with an imaginary weight that I can't seem to lift.

"Baby, Listen, It's okay. It's okay to be not fine at all. You know what, Everyone will be in this state at least once in their life. Consider, you are in this phase. You will pass through this like a pro. You will be okay in no time."He said in a hoarse voice which screamed that he was pained to hear me cry like this, Like a damsel in distress. Like a sobbing mess.

You know what, what he said may seem like an exaggeration, But these words are my strength to endure these four years and that still stand valid till now.

" Dad, Am I a gold digger? Am I a homewrecker?" I asked not even caring that he won't understand without the full story. But, he still stood supporting me. Even without caring to ask me for an explanation or the full story of what had happened. That gesture made my day. Made my heart and soul jump in joy and relief.

"What? Gold digger! Homewrecker! Sweetie, Are you even listening to what you talk? He laughed really finding humor in this. His laugh was really really genuine which made me confused and lost for a moment.

"Dad!" I interrupted his hearty laughing session in a stern voice but came out as a whine. Like a kid who would whine when her friends made fun of them.

That moment is a brief moment where I forgot all my worries, forgot about the never-ending mess I got involved in that day.

"Ok! Ok! Sorry, Sweetie." He quickly seemed to compose himself before speaking. Because his next words were interpreted in a way that made a complete transformation from being playing to the seriousness which is common in business meetings.

"Calla, Dear. Do you remember the time when you got admitted to your dream college i.e now your college? You got a scholarship that covered your fee reasonably compared to our financial status. But, We had a problem which is your other expenses. I said I will take care of it somehow. But you refused by saying about your motto, morals of your life.

You said that it's your life's goal, meaning, purpose to be independent. You said that you will take care of it since it was you who had chosen this college which is out of the league for our financial status. Since it was you chose this, You will take the responsibility for this. Remember when you met Professor Thomas, he offered to help you. But, As expected you rejected it." He said in a proud father tone who is very proud of his daughter.

"But, Dad! That's....."I was going to reason him but he denied to give me that chance.

"Do you want me to remind you how you are earning money to survive there while topping every exam like a pro?" He continued boasting about me to me when I remained tongue-tied at this point.

"Calla, You are one of the few people I have seen in my life who have a solid, crystal clear view about your life, morals, self-respect, and independence. Even me and your mom don't have that kind of ambitious thinking even at this age." Dad finished rather proud and content.

"Really, Dad?" I asked him surprised about his opinion of me. Sure, We often speak a lot. But, this is the first time he opinionated on me. To say I am happy and surprised is an understatement.

"So, Calla. Since I reminded you because you forgot about yourself, I am damn sure you are never a gol.....Money-minded person. And about separating couples, we both know you have an ocean level of self-respect and morals. Am I right?" He said in a conclusion. I smiled hearing his inability to mention me a gold digger and a homewrecker even in a negative sentence. I smiled genuinely for the first time since the incident.

"Yes, Dad. You are right. Thanks for reminding me about myself." I gratefully thanked heaving a big, deep breath due to the clarification, a clear view I got, So I could work on making my situation better. All Thanks to my cute dad.

"Calla! If I hear you doubting yourself or talking low of yourself, I will personally come there to smack some sense into your head." He joked but I do realize the truth in that. My dad is a man of words. He will certainly do that. I let out a genuine chuckle.

"Dad! Thank you so much. I am really relieved now. Please forgive me for disturbing your sleep. Resume your sleep dad. Or Mom will be worried. Goodnight, Dad."

"Good night, Calla. Always remember one thing. You are a queen. Both in heart and morals. No one can me you feel low without your permission and approval. So, Don't Let anyone make you feel low. Ok?" He said in a fatherly tone with so much care and adoration embedded in it.

"Ok! Dad. Bye!" I was about to hang up when I suddenly remembered one thing.

"Dad! M..." I was about to ask, but he beat me to it.

" Don't worry. I won't tell mom. Keep fighting, my little tiger." He spoke cheerfully before hanging up.

I smiled before placing the phone beside me.

***********************************

After that night, he hadn't mentioned that call to me not even once. That call, that conversation, that message, that hope remained as a memory of that night but helped me to wake up and face my life. That memory remained there but made our father-daughter bond reach a new level of understanding, trust, and family love.