Prolouge

"Ahn Jin Ae, I like you."

It was that Friday afternoon, when the cherry blossoms bloomed and the sun shone over our heads that you told we those three words I had been hoping to hear for so long.

Those three words I thought you'd never say.

You took my hands in yours and smiled weakly, waiting for me to say something. The look on your face was a look I had never seen on your face before.

I gripped your hands tighter and smiled. "I like you too, Jeon Jungkook."

~~~~~~~~~~

The days I spent with Jungkook were the best days of my life. We would spend hours hanging out during the day, then spend hours on the phone in the night. After four months of dating, Jungkook told me that he was going to debut next month. He was super excited and so was I. I knew it had been his lifelong dream to debut. I wasn't mad at all that he kept it from me for so long, just happy for him.

I remember very clearly the day before he debuted. He held my hands the same way he did when he confessed and told me, "Even though I'll be busy after this, I'll always be there for you. I'll never leave your side until the end of time. My heart," he put my hand on his heart and clasped it there, "will always be yours to have."

After he debuted, he would call whenever he could and text each and every day. When he didn't, I was never mad. I knew he was busy. Once promotional events were over, he spent more time with me to make up for all the time he spent away. I was happy when he was happy, I was down whenever he was down. Whenever things got tough, I stayed by his side, lent him a shoulder to cry on.

Two years later, his group, BTS, blew up. They topped charts and sold millions of album copies. They sold out stadiums and broke all sorts of records. It was then that he changed.

He never called, never texted, never bothered asking how I was doing. It was work, work and work for him, day and night. I tried not to let it get to my head. I stayed strong. For a whole year I let him work in peace. For a whole year I didn't demand anything from him. For a whole year I was on antidepressants. The day I collapsed from an overdose and had to get my stomach pumped, he wasn't there. My brother called and called, even went to the BigHit building to inform him, but Jungkook only told him one thing. "I'm busy."

When I woke up, I cried. I cried and cried until I was discharged. I cried when I woke up, and I cried when I fell asleep. He kept saying it was work. And I kept telling myself it was work. Until one day I couldn't take it anymore. Until one day I snapped.

I ran over to the company building and was about to head up to their practice room when I saw it. When I say them.

Jungkook and Lisa.

They were hugging each other tightly and he gave her a quick peck before they parted. He waved at her as her car drove away, and only after she left did he see me.

The look on his face was a look I never wanted to see. A look of shock, mixed with panic. But in his eyes, I sensed no remorse.

He walked over and smiled, pretending like nothing happened. "Jin Ae! What are you doing here?"

"Why?"

Jungkook flinched. He tilted his head slightly, the way he always did when he lied. "What do you mean?"

Tears rolled down my cheeks, and Jungkook eyes widened at this. "Babe, why are you cryin-"

"Why did you lie?!" I yelled, taking a step back. Jungkook looked shocked. He took a step forward and I took another step back.

"Babe, let me explain."

"Explain what?" I snapped. "Explain why you cheated on me? Explain why you always told me you were busy when you've been spending your time with her?!" I looked down to the ground. "Explain why you weren't there when I OD-ed? Why you weren't there when I was depressed?"

Jungkook furrowed his eyebrows. "Depressed? Hyung told me you had to get your stomach pumped because you took to many sleeping pills."

"And why do you think I took too many pills? Why do you think I was busy every Thursday evening?" I blinked the tears out of my eyes. "Because I was depressed. For the past year, I've been depressed."

Jungkook looked at me worriedly. "Why were you depressed?"

I scoffed. "Because of you." I muttered. Jungkook seemed taken aback by this statement. He reached out and grabbed my hands. "What do you mean?

"I waited for you to call. Day and night for the past year, I waited for you. And whenever you did, it was like my world lit up. But then you'd say a few words and end it, and my world would become dark again. You told me it was work. Every time I texted, you said it was work. And I trusted you. And this is what I get? A cheating boyfriend who didn't know how I was feeling. A boyfriend that spent his days with another girl when I spent those days in tears." I pulled my hands out of his grip.

"Jin Ae-"

"What? Are you gonna pretend to be sorry and ask for my forgiveness?" I said angrily. But to my surprise, Jungkook looked at me straight in the eye instead.

"No. I was gonna say something else. Three words. Wanna guess?" He held up three fingers as I looked at him, horrified. Jungkook wasn't interested in waiting for an answer, so he folded his fingers while saying the words.

"Let's."

"Break."

"Up."

The three words I never thought I'd hear from him, he said so easily. I felt more tears stream down my cheeks like water down a waterfall. Jungkook wore his poker face as he stared at me, waiting for a reaction.

"What?"

"If you can't cope with having an idol boyfriend, then maybe you shouldn't." Jungkook put his hand down. "Even if we make up now, you'll break down again in the future. So let's end this while we still can."

I was frozen. Shocked. But I managed to speak. I asked the one question that had always been on my mind. "Did you ever love me?"

Jungkook smiled weakly as he whispered, "I did once, but not anymore."