Chapter Twelve

"Hi, sweetie. You alright?" mum asks, her voice cheery.

"Mum!" I shout, not caring about the stares, "But- but Dad said that... that you're... dead."

"What? What are you on about, Jess? We're getting a divorce tomorrow, but I'm certainly not dead! Did your dad call you?"

"No, he picked me up from school, saying you're dead! And - and, he admitted that... wait, I can't say this in public. Can we text?"

"Sure, sweetie, bye. I love you."

Me: dad was the reason freya died, not me. obvs couldn't say it out loud as nobody knows the truth about how she died. what is going on? why did dad say you're dead? did you know he tried to kill me????

Mum: oh sweetie! he told me everything when drunk about a month ago. that's why we're getting divorced x

Me: but why would he say you're dead? and how did you know to call? this is just crazy! i don't even know what to believe anymore!

Mum: maybe I'm "dead to him" which is a metaphor to hating me so much it's like i'm dead in his eyes. nasty lie to tell you! oh, you poor thing. and we always call on saturday's haha, did you forget? where are you? i'll come get you x

Me: oh, that makes sense, i guess... can't believe he said you died of cancer and funeral was tomorrow! hate him so much. guess i forgot about our call in all the madness. i'm at the park outside the oxford house. x

Mum: i'll be half an hour, max. if he comes after you, run and call the police x

Me: ok, thanks mum x

Twenty five minutes later, I'm in the front seat of my mum's car, balling my eyes out. "I am so, so sorry that I ever blame you, my darling." She soothes, glancing towards me for a second.

"It was still mostly my fault!" I cry.

"You can't have pushed her that hard. Or for no reason - you aren't  a violent person. I know that now."

"Still." I sniff.

"Still what? Oh I should never have carted you off to boarding school! I'm so sorry, we should've stuck together at a time like that. You didn't mean it to happen - why would you want to kill your best friend? You aren't even the sort to have a tussle on the playground!"

I stay quiet, letting everything that I've learnt today sink in, slowly seeping under my layers of skin.

"Wait. Where was Dad going to take me if there wasn't any funeral?"

"I don't know, honey. And I really don't want to know if I'm honest." she backs into a driveway, "We're home now and I'll never let you go again, I promise."

"But- Mum, that's my home now. I can't leave Oak Grove now, things were just starting to look up there." Mum's eyes fill with tears as she takes in my rejection to her offer. She was clearly looking forward to having her daughter back.

"You can still see me! You can start coming to Saturday visits, and we'll have the holidays, and regular phone calls..." Smiling a tight smile at me, Mum nods as her fragile heart shatters all over again. This was going to be our fresh start. But I don't know how we can just forget our past and move on like that, she blamed me for the worst mistake of my life. It was truly a tragic accident, but she failed to see beyond that.  Yes, she's realised now, but in those dark times, I needed a mother to hold my hand and instead I got pushed away. We can certainly try to get closer, but Oak Grove Boarding School is where I belong. And it's where I'm going to stay.

Hey! Thanks so much for reading my book, I really appreciate it! That's it for now... I may write a sequel or just some other books shortly but thanks again. Also big thanks to Rogers_Romanoff for being amazing, you should definitely read her books as they are great!! 😊💛