Thank You

**TW: mention of depression**

Macau walked into his apartment to find a small boy sitting on his couch reading the manga he had discarded on the small lamp stand. Somewhere between leaving his apartment and the trip to the recycling centre outside the building Porchay had found his way into his apartment with take-out it seemed. As had been standard Porchay fashion the past month.

He had taken to spending most of his time around Macau when he didn't have anything to do to stop himself from doing anything stupid that would make his brother angry or in the long run hurt him. Macau didn't like it but he grew to enjoy the other boy's company; even if they didn't really talk much. After their pizza run, Porchay just took to clinging to Macau. For some reason, the boy's aloof personality intrigued him. Macau also seemed to be the only person around he didn't ask a lot of questions about Chay and the boy appreciated it.

"You're oddly early today," Chay said looking up from his reading.

"My classes got cancelled," he replied moving from the door to inspect the food bag on the kitchen table, "Seaweed soup, why?"

"It's my birthday," Chay had turned his attention back to the book in his hand.

"Don't people normally buy a cake on their birthday?"

"The Koreans eat seaweed soup because blood cleansing or something I forgot. I just wanted to eat it okay."

Porchay pouted while burying his face into the book in his hand. He wanted to eat seaweed soup, not because of any beliefs of the sort but because Tankhun had convinced him to eat it so he would have a good year until his next birthday. The older man said something about having seen enough K-dramas to know this to be true and even offered to cook the boy soup himself which Chay declined for fear of accidentally being poisoned.

Macau didn't say anything and set out pouring all the food into plates before calling Chay to join him at the table. They talked about their day as they ate or rather Chay talked and Macau listened adding small commentary here and there as the boy rambled on. After dinner Macau suddenly announced he needed to go fetch something and walked out leaving Chay to take care of the dishes, "You'd think he'd at least be nicer to the birthday boy," the boy said under his breath wiping the last of the plates.

Chay made his way back to the couch but decided to sit on the floor in front of it instead. The boy had spent a few birthdays alone in the past but he never really felt lonely. He knew his brother was out working for him at that time but now that wasn't the case this time round. Surly a mafia boss could take time out of his day to visit his baby brother.

Porsche had called in the morning before Chay left for his morning classes to wish him a happy birthday. It was the first time he had ever called to wish him a happy birthday. After the call got disconnected there was a huge bouquet of roses along with a bunch of gift bags delivered to his apartment. The gifts were a lot more expensive than anything Porsche had ever bought him. Kinn also sent a few gifts for him with the most generic message on them that made Chay scrunch up his nose trying not to outwardly cringe at it. The next round of gifts came from Tankhun who sent a guitar amongst other unnecessary expensive things. His birthday card was a rant about his brother not allowing the older man to buy him a grand piano and him having to settle for the bass guitar. Som had wished him a very happy birthday and squeezed him half to death before giving him a gift voucher to a record store and treated him to lunch after their classes but then she disappeared after he said he wasn't feeling like going out. Chay had made his way back home to find the piles of gift bags and boxes he had thrown into his small sitting area. Just looking at it made him want to break everything in sight.

Sure he got everything anyone could have possibly wished for but it was his birthday. He didn't need a bunch of things from the latest Versace drop or all the BTS albums in existence, he needed his brother with him. He needed someone who actually genuinely cared enough to not just throw money at him and hope he was happy. He contemplated calling Som and inviting her out with him but decided against it. Getting black-out drunk on his birthday was the last thing he needed because not only would he feel shitty the next day but he'd also feel and look extremely pathetic.

Khun called when he got out of the shower to whine about how much he wanted to be with Chay so they could watch Goblin together and Chay had slipped his way out of it saying he need to rest because he had morning classes. That was when the older man had told him about the seaweed soup. Chay thought it was dumb at first but decided to give it a shot because he was tired of feeling like all the troubles of the world rested on his shoulders. He was about to pour the food out when he remembered the fierce-eyed boy a few doors down. Macau was probably still out but Chay knew the door password so he let himself in and decided to wait. His wait was however shorter than he had expected but there he was sitting alone with his knees at his chest and his eyes tearing up, "It's my birthday for fuck sake! Why am I alone?" he cried.

Just then the door clicked shut and Macau shuffled over to where Chay was sitting holding a small blue box, "I'm sorry. I just went out to get a cake," the boy said scratching the back of his next.

He handed Chay the box and the boy began to cry even more, "If you don't like the cake I can go buy you another one," Macau said scrambling to his knees next to the crying boy.

"Shut up and let me cry in peace!" Chay shouted.

"Okay," Macau sat on his legs with his hands on his legs as he waited for Chay to calm down. After a while, the boy suddenly stuck his hand out and looked a Macau expectingly, "What..."

"Candles."

"In the box."

Chay opened the box to find a round cake decorated in yellow, pink, and white with the words Happy nineteenth Chay printed on the cake with the number 19 candles already in the centre. The boy looked back at Macau with his eyes welling up again sending the other into a slight panic, "Gimme a lighter," he whispered as the tears silently rolled down his cheeks.

Macau pulled the lighter out of his pant pocket and handed it with shaky hands to Porchay who lit the candles and closed his eyes while clasping his hands together. The boy was silent for a while saying a silent prayer to whoever was listening. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at the candle flames for a moment pleading with whoever heard his prayer for his wish to come true and then he blew the flames out, "Happy birthday," Macau said in time with the flames flicking out, "I didn't know today was your birthday so I couldn't get you anything," he mumbled.

"I will kill you if you buy me anything," Chay narrowed his eyes to get his point across, "This is enough. Thank you," he turned his attention back to the cake in front of him. Maybe this wasn't such a bad day.

The boy cut the cake and practically forced Macau to eat some of it. The boys sat for a while in silence just listening to each other's breathing. Chay's day had gone full circle going from being just a bad day to being not too bad while Macau's was no different.

He had woken up that day feeling completely hopeless. He had days like that a lot. Days where everything felt like a lot. Days where doing anything exhausted him so much that all he wanted to do was sleep until he felt slightly better or until he got the motivation to pull himself out of it and get something done. His win for the day was getting out of bed at taking a shower and cleaning up the mess he had managed to make despite hardly moving from his bed. When he saw Chay in his apartment he felt the odd weight on him lightening ever so slightly. And then he found out it was Chay's birthday. The boy being in his apartment meant that he had nobody else to spend the day with. Macau related deeply to that so he ate his first meal of the day and drank a whole lot of much-needed water and went out to buy the birthday boy a cake.

He didn't know what kind of cake to buy when the bakery owner asked and then she asked him to describe the birthday cake recipient. Chay: small, delicate, feisty, lonely, a single ray of light. That's what Chay was, a ray of light in Macau's darkening world. That's why he never told the boy to leave him alone. When he found Chay crying he felt his heart sink into his chest. He hadn't seen Chay cry since the first night they met and he hoped never to see a crying Chay again but there he was. Macau hated seeing Chay cry but he sat and waited until he stopped crying because he didn't know how to make him stop. And then he stopped crying and lit his candles and then he prayed or was he simply making a wish? Macau couldn't tell, he had never seen anyone look quite as desperate as Chay did during his silent prayer. He almost asked what the boy had wished for but decided against it. That was his and the universe's wish to keep.