43. Chapter 43

Studying wise, it hadn’t really been the best semester for Nicole. Not that she was normally a star student, but there had been unusually many distractions this semester, and Nicole had not put the effort in with her studies. At least it was over soon.

She finished her take home-exam today, submitting the 4000 word assignment seven minutes before the deadline at noon. Nicole had pulled an all-nighter to finish her exam, and stumbled off to her bed as soon she’d hit ‘Submit’. Three hours later she was rudely awoken by the door bell.

“Shae?” Nicole rasped as she opened the door. She hadn’t used her voice since she talked on the phone with Waverly last night.

Shae was all smiles, holding up a six-pack of Molson beer. 

“You finished your exam, right?” she said with a grin. Without waiting for an answer, she strode past Nicole, shrugged off her coat and went straight for the kitchen to get a bottle opener. “Beer?”

Nicole sighed. She hadn’t eaten anything since the bag of crispy corn puffs at 3 am. Nevertheless she took the beer from Shae and took a big gulp. The cold liquid washing down her throat felt pleasantly refreshing. Shae grinned and popped the cap of another beer, taking an even larger sip herself. 

“How’d it go?” Shae asked. She pranced to the living room and flung herself unceremoniously on the coach, stretching out in her full length across the pillows. 

Nicole followed. “I think it was alright,” she shrugged. “But I was up all night, and I didn’t really have time to read over it one final time, so I don’t know.”

“But you passed, right?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Shae lifted her feet to make room for Nicole, and then planted them firmly in Nicole’s lap as soon as she sat down. She raised her bottle to Nicole. “Well done, boo.”

Nicole smiled. It had been a while since she saw Shae last. She’d kept Shae updated on the whole situation with her parents and her fight with Waverly, but that was mostly via phone calls and texts. Shae looked good, she noticed. Happy. Better than in a long time.

“I haven’t seen you in forever,” Nicole said.

“That’s because of your fucking drama life,” Shae teased, poking her in the stomach with the heel of her foot.

“Fuck off,” Nicole grinned, pinching Shae’s calf through her jeans. “But seriously, how’s life? You look good.”

“Well, thank you.” 

Shae shimmied a little in her place, looking all smug. Her eyes shifted to look straight at Nicole, the excitement very visible. She was almost buzzing, Nicole thought. Her eyes glimmered. 

Shae looked as if she was about to burst. Something had to be up.

“What?” Nicole asked. She sat up a bit, preparing herself for what Shae was gonna say.

Shae pressed her lips together. She sure knew how to build up the suspension.

“Tell me,” Nicole demanded. The excitement had spread to her, and now she was dying to know whatever Shae was about to say.

“I got an interview for med school.”

“What? That’s great!” Nicole lunged forward, trying to hug her friend, but it was rather awkward due to their positions. “Shae, congratulations! Shit, you really deserve it.”

Shae beamed. 

“Is it here, at GRU?” Nicole asked.

She nodded. “Yep. And I also got one at Manitoba.”

Nicole squeezed Shae’s feet excitedly. “When is it?”

“End of the month.” Shae took a sip. “So until then I gotta prepare. My study group’s already got mock interviews planned.”

Nicole looked at the beaming woman, smiling from ear to ear. She deserved it so much. Shae had always worked really hard to get into medical school. It was her dream to become a surgeon, like her mother, and now it was finally happening. 

“You’re gonna nail it,” Nicole stated resolutely, with certainty in her voice. 

“I might not,” Shae answered seriously.

“Then you’ll try again next year.”

She smiled. “Yeah.”

They took a few more sips, revelling in the excited thrill in the air. Nicole’s heart was radiating with pride for her friend, emitting waves of joy and endless support.

“How ‘bout you?” Shae asked after a bit. “Did you talk to a study counsellor yet?”

She hadn’t. She kept postponing it. Not because she didn’t want to make a plan, it was just… scary. What if criminology was wrong too? She couldn’t afford to switch between different fields of study at random now that she didn’t have her parents’ financial support. She had to make a real choice now. 

“Uh, no,” she admitted. “Not yet. Maybe I’ll just work or something, take a year off and get some perspective.”

Shae nodded slowly. “Might be a good idea.”

Nicole swallowed down the last mouthful of her beer. “You want another?” she asked, and moved to get up.

“Sure.”

Nicole could feel Shae’s eyes on her back as she moved to the kitchen, grabbing the next two bottles from the six-pack. 

“Are you waiting because of Waverly?” Shae asked when Nicole sat down again.

Nicole looked at her, confused. “No, it’s got nothing to do with her.”

Shae quirked an eyebrow. “Or the baby?”

“I’m not… No.” Nicole still didn’t understand what Shae was asking. “What are you saying?”

Shae shrugged. “I just mean, you don’t have to stop studying and start earning a living just because your girlfriend is having a kid. Because it’s her kid. It’s not up to you to care for them. She’s gotta do that herself.”

Nicole looked at her, surprised by the sudden attack. “I know that. And I’m not doing it for them.” 

I think. 

She continued. “But I don’t know what I wanna do, and I don’t really have a lot of money right now, so taking a year off to work might be the right thing to do.”

Shae said nothing. She just kept looking at her with her eyebrows raised. It pissed Nicole off.

“I’m not… throwing away my life for this, Shae. I know you feel that way about Waverly, but it’s not true. There’s just been a lot of shit lately, and I need some time to get perspective. I’m not like you, ambitious and… I never knew what I wanted to do, because I was always gonna be a lawyer, but now I’m not , so I have to figure it out. I just…” Nicole closed her eyes, frustrated with the mute Shae. “I need some time.”

She felt the pressure of Shae’s calves on her thighs as she moved them out of Nicole’s lap. There was a rustle and a change of pressure in the pillows on the couch, and then Shae was sitting next to her, bumping their shoulders together.

“I know,” came Shae’s soft voice. 

Nicole opened her eyes again. 

Shae put her head on Nicole’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

Nicole nodded. 

Shae’s voice was gentler when she continued. “I’ve just had this feeling, ever since you met her, that that’s all you care about. But there’s other stuff too, you know. In life. There’s jobs and hobbies and friends, and doing the things you like, for the things that you care about.”

“But I care about her ,” Nicole insisted.

“I know you do,” Shae promised. “Just don’t forget about all the other stuff, ‘cause you might regret it later.”

Nicole bit her teeth together. Shae’s words were absolutely provocative, and a part of Nicole wanted to snap at her, but there was some truth to it too. The thing was, Nicole’s life had been decided by her parents for so long that the newfound freedom to choose for herself was kinda scary. She had to figure out her future on her own now, and she had no clue as to what she wanted that to look like, except for one thing. Waverly was gonna be part of it. Waverly and her son.

Shae lightly clinked their bottles together. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know.” Nicole took a sip, trying to shake off her frustration. “I’m not upset. There’s just so much I gotta think about and fix, and I still have an exam left, so I should really prioritize that, too.”

“You can do it, Nicole. You can do all of it.” Shae snuggled against her, pressing the crown of her head against Nicole’s neck. “And we’re all here for you. Me and Waverly. Even Wynonna, I think.”

Nicole chuckled. “What is up with you and Wynonna?” 

She’d wanted to ask Shae about it for a while now because apparently they had started hanging out, and she didn’t know if she liked it. What if Shae let slip anything about Waverly and Nicole, before Waverly got the chance to say it herself?

“I dunno, it’s just fun.” Shae smirked. “We’re just hanging out.”

Nicole raised an eyebrow. “You’re not, you know...”

“No, dude.” Shae laughed. She pushed herself off of Nicole and elbowed her playfully in the ribs. “I’m not banging your girlfriend’s sister. Although I wouldn’t mind…”

“ Shae ,” Nicole said sternly.

“Oh, come on! She’s super attractive,” Shae protested. “But she’s got all this drama going on with the boys at the bar, and I don’t really wanna stick my hand in that beehive.”

Nicole exhaled, relieved. “You haven’t said anything, have you? About Waverly and me?”

Shae shook her head. “I would never,” she said seriously. “Waverly’s gotta figure that out herself. Although Wynonna is getting suspicious that something is up. I think she’s worried.”

“Yeah…” 

If it was up to Nicole, Wynonna would have known about them already. Waverly’s big sister was honestly slightly terrifying. Sure, she was fun and liked to mess around a lot, but when it came to Waverly she was also super protective. Nicole would rather just rip the band-aid off and face the music instead of walking around on tiptoes whenever Wynonna was there. But Waverly hadn’t come out to her yet, and it was entirely up to her how she wanted to do it. Nicole could only be the supportive girlfriend.

“Speaking of,” Shae said. She pointed at Nicole’s phone where it lay on the coffee table. It was buzzing, with a picture of Waverly and her name on the display. “Your girl’s calling.”

Nicole grabbed it quickly and stood up from the couch, moving away from Shae to get some privacy.

“Hey, babe,” she greeted. She could see in the corner of her eye how Shae smiled at the term of endearment before she put her beer to her lips again.

Waverly sounded happy when she answered. “Heeeey, did you finish it? The exam?”

“Yep. Submitted it right on time.”

“That’s great! Congrats.” 

It sounded as if Waverly was walking. Nicole could hear the occasional car driving past, and every now and then a soft breeze ruffled up the sound. Waverly was probably on her way to Peacemaker, just like they’d planned.

“You on your way?” Nicole asked.

“Yeah, are you still up for Peacemaker?” Waverly lowered her voice. “I could just come to your place if you want…”

Nicole smiled. There was a not-so-subtle hint there, a suggestion for something more. She swallowed, forcing the pleasant memories from a few days ago out of her mind. She turned her back to Shae who was gleefully wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Uh, Shae is kinda here. Is it okay if she comes, too? To Peacemaker, I mean.” She wanted to make it perfectly clear for Waverly that she was not alone. 

“Oh! Yes, of course. I’ll text Wynonna, tell her that I’m on my way.”

“Okay, baby. See you there.”

They hung up. 

Shae was still smiling brightly when Nicole turned around. “Peacemaker, then?”

Nicole nodded. “If you wanna come?”

“Sure!”

Shae got up immediately, ready to go. 

“I just gotta get dressed.” Nicole gestured to herself. She was still wearing her sweatpants and a worn t-shirt from last night. There had been no time to change before going to bed in her comatose state after she finished the exam.

“I’ll wait,” Shae smiled.

Nicole headed for the bedroom to change, but didn’t bother to close the door fully. She’d stopped doing that with Shae a long time ago. 

CJ was there, curled up in the middle of her bed. Nicole had initially wanted to keep the cat out of her bedroom, but she had kept meowing right outside the door whenever Nicole tried to lock her out, so she eventually just let her have her wish.

The cat opened one yellow eye, and then the other, as Nicole quickly undressed, piling her shedded clothes on the edge of the bed. CJ stretched out her back and paws with a little ‘mrrrp’, and then padded out of the bedroom, her long fur all messed up from sleeping. Nicole could hear Shae squeal with joy as the cat presented itself. 

“Is this Calamity Jane?” Shae hollered from the kitchen. “She’s so cute!”

Nicole smiled. CJ had quickly become a familiar part of her home, and Nicole would gladly keep her. Despite the many flyers she’d hung up around the neighbourhood, no one had called yet to claim her. 

Nicole pulled out jeans and a light blue shirt from her closet, finishing off the outfit with a burgundy red v-neck sweater. She rustled her hair, trying to clear out the mess. It would have to do.

When she got out to the kitchen, Shae was crouching by the sink, petting a purring CJ on the stomach. She looked up at Nicole, grinning eagerly. “I love this cat.”

Nicole smiled. “Me too.”

She went to the bathroom next, to brush her teeth. When she came out a few minutes later, Shae was holding the cat in her arms, staring at the refrigerator door. Nicole squinted her eyes, trying to see what Shae was looking at. 

It was Waverly’s latest ultrasound picture. Waverly had given it to Nicole after her check-up a few days ago. “I want you to have it,” she’d told her happily, and Nicole had proudly stuck it on her fridge. 

“Is this the baby?” Shae asked when Nicole came to stand next to her. 

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

They stared at it together, equally amazed by the outline of a tiny person on the black-and-white photograph.

“He’s got feet and all. Look, you can see his heart.” Shae pointed. The cat resting on her forearm wiggled annoyed, but Shae ignored her. 

“Yeah, it’s really amazing.”

The cat started growling and Shae quickly put her down on the floor. Nicole could feel Shae’s eyes scanning over her own face as she stood back up, but she couldn’t get herself to look away from the picture of Waverly’s baby.

“You’re really gonna be a parent,” Shae said, amazed.

Nicole blinked, finally catching Shae’s steady gaze. “Uh, yeah, I think so. We haven’t, uh, talked it out properly, but yeah.”

Shae smiled. “You want it, don’t you?”

Nicole nodded. “I really do. It’s weird ‘cause we’ve only been together for like a month, but, uh…” She shifted her gaze to look down at the ground, evading Shae’s interested eyes. “I was there almost from the start, when she first found out about being pregnant. It feels like I’m really part of it, you know? As if it’s mine too, a little bit?”

Shae reached for her hand, gently twining their fingers together. “You’re gonna be a great mom, Nicole.”

Nicole swallowed. I hope so.

Their relationship had definitely gotten a lot closer after she and Waverly had made up. In addition, Nicole had also become very attached to the baby. He had started kicking for real now, being more active during some parts of the day and sleeping in others. It was Nicole’s favorite thing whenever Waverly's hand went to caress her belly, indicating that someone was moving around in there. She always reached for Nicole’s hand and put it on her stomach when she felt a kick, and it made Nicole’s heart jump every time. Last week, when the two of them were spooning on the couch, Nicole had finally felt it for herself. It had only been a tiny flutter under her fingers, but it was real and it was palpable, and Nicole had nearly melted.

Nicole cleared her throat. “You ready to go?”

They were quiet on the way out, with Nicole’s mind still buried with thoughts of soft baby kicks. Shae was apparently pondering about something else. When they came out in the fresh air, she suddenly raised her voice.

“You didn’t tell me you two had started kanoodeling.”

Nicole almost slipped on the nearly melted ice outside her apartment building. Shae grabbed her arm to steady her.

“I didn’t know I had to tell you,” Nicole retorted when she was back on her two feet.

Shae chuckled. “How was it?”

“Let’s just say she’s a quick learner.”

---

“I can’t believe she doesn’t see it.”

Shae nodded to Wynonna, who was waving enthusiastically from the bar.

“What?” Waverly asked.

“That you guys are dating. It’s so obvious.”

Shae gestured to the two of them. Waverly and Nicole were sitting next to each other on one side of the booth, their sides touching. Nicole was snacking from the plate of fries in front of her, and Waverly had her hand resting on Nicole’s knee. Her entire body was leaning against Nicole’s side, but she straightened up a bit under Shae’s accusatory gaze.

Waverly swallowed. She wasn’t exactly hiding her relationship from her sister. Nicole usually tried to withdraw her hand from Waverly’s when Wynonna was nearby, but Waverly only tightened her grip, refusing to let go of the hand. Wynonna never seemed to think it was weird, not even that one time when the two of them had fallen asleep on the couch together, in a tight embrace, and Wynonna had turned up the volume of the TV until they woke up. The only thing they didn’t do in front of Wynonna was kiss. 

Waverly couldn’t explain it really, except that she was tired of hiding. She just wanted Wynonna to find out, but she didn’t want to tell her, because the thought of having a conversation about it scared her. Wynonna liked Nicole, Waverly knew that, and she wouldn’t care that Waverly was in love with a woman, but Wynonna was also fiercely protective of her baby sister, especially now. She wouldn’t tell Nicole off, would she? 

As long as Waverly didn’t say anything about it, Wynonna wouldn’t do anything drastic, which was good. But it also meant that Waverly was constantly concerned about how she would eventually react. This thing with Nicole wasn’t going to end anytime soon, so the cat had to come out of the bag sooner or later. 

If she was honest, Waverly was getting a little annoyed that Wynonna didn’t just straight up ask her about Nicole. Like Shae said, it was fairly obvious that they were in a relationship. Sometimes Waverly wondered if Wynonna really didn’t see it or if she just played dumb to get Waverly to say it with her own words. She didn’t know why it was so damn hard to tell Wynonna, her sister of all people, but it was. 

Waverly shrugged. “She’ll find out soon enough.”

Nicole had stilled next to her, french fry still in hand, but Waverly didn’t say anything else.

She was dodging the question, because she didn’t know what else she could say. Hopefully it would all work out on its own, but if Wynonna didn’t hint at it soon, Waverly didn’t know what she was gonna do. Tell her, probably, but how?

Nicole put down the fry and wiped her hand on a napkin. “Anyway,” she said, expertly changing the subject. “Here’s to you, Shae.” She raised her glass. “Congrats on your interview!”

“Yeah, congratulations! It’s so great,” Waverly smiled, hiding away all of her worries for later. “I hope you get in.”

Shae grinned and lifted her glass as well. 

Suddenly Wynonna was there too, as if summoned by some kind of secret signal. Alcohol, probably. She raised a fourth glass. 

“Cheers, guys!” she said enthusiastically and clinked all of their glasses together. She took a huge sip, swallowing down half of a pint in one go. “What are we celebrating?”

“Wynonna!” Doc’s annoyed call came from the bar.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”