A new path

``My limit'' - Cale Robinson

Tell me not to carry on, but how!

Shout not at my despair, show me light!

Display no discontent, for mine

is the greatest disappointment.

Force me to soldier on,

with no guide nor map?

Empower my hike,

in deafness to my strain neck.

Shall I crumble, shall I break,

or shall I stretch once again

at the sound of your cheer?

I fear my limit is to find me,

before I find the unreachable end,

will you find in it my demise?

I opened my eyes not realizing when I had shut them. I was back in control of my breathing and I could feel my body steady, secured horizontally on top of a smooth surface. I was back on my bed and my father was holding my hand with a serious expression, like I was sick or he was going to tell me something horrible. As he looked into my eyes I could see what he felt was complex and different from what I have been able to identify so far.

-``I was hoping I would know what to tell you by the time you woke up...''

Woke up? How long have I been sleeping, I was just eating breakfast... After the convulsion of thoughts that made my body numb.

-``You passed out again.'' - He explained as he interpreted my puzzled eyes. - ``I know wolves are supposed to think fast, but I still don't know how to face this...''

-``What are you talking about?'' - It seemed to me that all he said was suddenly encrypted since three days ago. I never had to struggle so much to understand his simple sentences.

-``I am sorry I couldn't stop smiling. I was just proud that you inherited this marvelous- and you may not understand it yet, but it is marvelous- power. I am just happy that you got this gift from me. And you seem just natural, cause you phased again after breakfast today, before you collapsed.

-``Today? What time is it?'' - So that is why I couldn't remember anything past it, nothing happened afterwards.

-``Noon. Your mother wanted to know if you would like some steaks for lunch?''

-``Ya. What? Noon? Oh god, Sonya... I was supposed to get a ride with her to the beach... She must be freaking.''

-``Well she was. I couldn't stop her from getting in and flying up the stairs to your room, when she heard how you passed out she got really nervous. She thought you had a fever or something.''

-``Dad, couldn't you just tell her I passed out from lack of nourishment, low sugar or something like that?''

-``That would have worked better, wouldn't it? But I didn't have time to say anything, just that you weren't feeling alright and you know Sonya, she always gets her way with a smile...''

-``Just too well!'' - I answered thinking of an excuse to give her.

-``At least you phased back as soon as you passed out and you were already on your bed. Ten minutes earlier and she would be in a psych board by now.'' - And a grin crossed his thick lips.

-``Dad!'' - I complained.

-``Well, I was just saying that I didn't mean to scare you and I don't remember so well how scary this all sounds at first, but you get to do some amazing things and that makes you forget all about the freakiest and scariest of all. You will get to love it, I am sure of it. You are a wolf and in no time, that will be the best and most important part of you.''

-``You mean I will change and be just a werewolf? I will lose who I am and all my life? I will forget my friends and get by in a government imposed nocturne secret facility for freaks?'' - Finally I was able to keep my voice steady while my stressed words stumbled out.

-``No! You will understand yourself better, and you will realize that most of what you are is already part of it. You will find a wider world than most ever know and you will find friends who share your abilities and others.'' - His smile was tender now and I could no longer hold a grudge on this sweet version of a proud father.

-``Is it all explained in the books? How many laws do I have to know about?''

My new enthusiasm fed his smile like flame on gunpowder. - ``Just two mainly. This is a secret and you can not tell, or show. The rest is just to emphasize these.''

-``OK, so I will leave this mad house now, and I will be back to reality after I get myself some peace with Sonya, ok?''

-``Won't you eat first?''

-``Of course, since I was low on sugar earlier this morning and Sonya shouldn't see my meal too closely...'' - She was borderline vegetarian. She didn't share the ideology, but enjoyed the food and wasn't used to red big stakes.

I finally got out of the house and called Sonya. She was radiant enough that I was well and walking that she didn't question much of what happened. She was on her way to get her answers fast. I got in the car as soon as I could and just smiled as the questions followed in an inhuman speed.

-``What happened? Are you sure you're ok? Is this the first time it happened? I was so worried. What about your father, looked like he never seen me before? Didn't you tell them we were going out? What was it any way? Did you see a doctor yet? What did he say? O girl, don't do that again, you gave me such a fright. You didn't answer your phone and time passed and you never get that late and I went to your home and your father said you weren't feeling alright and I went to your room and you didn't look ok... you looked so pale and you didn't move or anything you looked dead! Will you answer me already or are you waiting for me to guess?'' - Her fingers stroke the wheel with the speed of her words.

I guess my smile had her off balance. -``Calm down, I just skipped breakfast and fainted. Probably low on sugar, that's all.''

-``Can't be, that was what I thought, but then I looked at your father... and''

-``I know, he looked awful. That's because we had a fight before I fainted. He was more concerned about the fight than my state.''

-``Oh! OK, and the doctor said it was just a sugar low?''

-``No doctor needed. I am fine!''

-``Uhm...''- She looked unconvinced, but probably because she thought it was my idea of fine that got me to be low on sugar in the first place and that the doctor-phobia should be overcame in times like these.

-``Seriously, I am fine! Do you think my mother would let me leave if I wasn't?'' - That seemed to give her some peace of mind and her frown turned into ecstasy.

-``So what now? What would you like to do today? You want to talk about your father?''

-``What about him?''

-``Hum... don't know...His hair is falling off? Your fight, obviously.''

-``Not really. I would prefer not to think about it for a while.''

We had fun for the rest of the day, it was easy to be me around Sonya, therefore to let go of all I had to deal with and enjoy a "normal" afternoon. Life didn't seem that different but for the fact that I had to keep my temper and that I was quite edgy. I was grateful for these moments of ordinary entertainment and realized I could always count on Sonya to keep my head in the "real world" from time to time. I told her about the college my parents were getting me into and that I didn't know yet what bachelor I would engage in, but that the first year was basically the same for everyone. She was so pleased I started thinking about my future and that it involved studying like hers, that she didn't even incentivize a revolt against my parents' "imposition". I added that I would have all summer to go through a lot of prospects and papers as though I had options.

Getting home I felt a freeing sensation, I wouldn't have to hide anything behind those walls. Still I was pleased with myself, all and all I kept a good quantity of truth in all I said to Sonya and I was amazed at my ability to project the subject into the "regular" world. I replayed the most difficult parts:

-``Where did it all (university conversation with my parents) come from?''

-``My parents thought of it as a graduation present. They say it is a tradition among my father's family to go there and that although it is not very important you can only go by invitation and that is why it is not very well known.''

Her eyes widened even more than usual. ``You are getting into one of those fraternities automatically, aren't you? But your father? Alright he always gets decent jobs though he has a bad temper and so possibly a lousy curriculum, but I would never picture him as a privileged student.''

-``It's not like that at all. It seems like a Nazi thing, I know, but it is only a family thing and not an important one. I think that it's kind of a foundation like: there was this guy who had a lot of money and decided that his descendants would get an education.'' - Fortunately enough I looked at the public history of the school for common knowledge as soon as the papers were handed to me at breakfast, so I didn't have to make any of it up.

-``Never heard of it.''

-``Me neither and I don't know much about it either.''

-``What is the name of the school?''

-``Tacyturnos Noctis College.''

****

-``I will visit you sometimes.''

-``I don't know that you can.''- She frowned again at my answer.

-``It's only for the huge bastard filled family.'' - And I pretentiously looked over my shoulder, which made her break into laughter.

-``Don't be so smug, just because you get a free education. At least my university is known to the employers.'' - And her tongue was thrown at me within a victorious smile. -``And I won't be meeting consanguinity boys for my next five years.''

-``They are too far in generations to be consanguineous, don't worry. And probably as bad as in any other college.''

In the end enthusiasm overruled curiosity and I learned that I could probably talk to Sonya about it all, with a good quantity of metaphors and half truths. After this I felt I should be the one going to law school. Hah! As if I could ever learn all that is needed for it.