Mixed Feelings

Covered from head to toe in soot, Kiyu sat by a small fire she had lit away from the burned-down farm.

She could not make a fire herself, so she had taken some pieces of wood from the willow fence, put some stones around it and kindled the whole thing with a burning piece of wood from the house.

The evening had long since fallen and although it was getting colder; she had taken off her shirt and put it over Laki as a small blanket.

There was no one who could have seen her half naked at the moment, anyway, and the cold did not bother her anymore.

Since she had rescued Laki from the burning house and built the campfire, she had been staring at the village. Not a single survivor had come out of the village, allowing Kiyu to draw only one conclusion: There were no survivors apart from Laki and Kiyu.

The flame creature also destroyed the courtyard, before it disappeared as fast as it had appeared. What puzzled Kiyu the most was that this monster had discovered her and Laki, but had spared them. She was almost sure that there must be a connection between this creature, and the one that had Rika under its control.

But it disappeared just like that, leaving the burning village behind. The last glowing spots went out one by one, enveloping Harios in a darkness of smoke.

"What happened to me, Ryu?", Kiyu asked the spirit dwelling inside her after she had taken Laki out and was preparing the campfire. "Why was I able to lift the support pillar?"

That wasn't the only thing that popped into her head. The faster running, the good visibility in the smoky house. How was all this possible?

< You know unimagined powers come from the union of spirit and humans? > he hinted.

"Yes. However, one cannot say with complete certainty what powers will unfold," she added.

Stories about the powers of the Spiritformers were told in her tribe. Every member of the Kushik tribe knew these stories.

Therefore, she also knew that there were the unique powers. It was almost possible to make a special power out of anything that seemed natural, if one knew how to use it. A wisdom of her tribe said that there were no weak skills, only weak implementation.

< Well> he continued. < Our power is the body amplification. >

"Body amplification?" she asked, confused.

< It is possible for us to amplify our body functions and parts of our body. A better vision, stronger muscles to run. >

"Increase in our body strength or increasing body temperature as well" she added in conclusion and understood why it wasn't cold for her and why the smoke and the head inside of the house could not affect her.

< Yes. There is maybe so much more. > he finished his explanation.

Kiyu was silent for a moment, and Cheryu seemed to have nothing to say either. An oppressive silence between two beings who had not seen each other for what felt like an eternity.

"Why have you never shown yourself? It has been six years since then, and you never showed yourself?" Kiyu assumed it sounded like an accusation, but right now she didn't care. She felt neither like crying nor like screaming.

Silence returned, and Kiyu didn't expect an answer anymore. It wouldn't change anything about what was happening, anyway.

< I'm sorry. >, he started his apology. < Back then, when the spirit appeared through the incantation, and approached you two, I had to hide my presence. >

< Otherwise, he would have killed you. As you may have noticed, he was not so kind as I am. >

Kiyu just snorted. And how she had noticed that! That spirit had caused all the chaos. She would have liked it best if all this had never happened!

< Kiyu! > Cheryu admonished her the moment he got her feelings.

"I know!" she groaned, annoyed. "You can't change, what already happened."

She would need to be prepared to hear this saying more than once from him.

< Where was I.... Oh well, the attack? Well, by luck, the attack threw you into the river, so you escaped. However, it took me strength to keep you alive for seven days> he continued his explanation. <After you were safe, I went back to the spiritual plane to recover and also there were things I needed to know. >

< But I never left you back alone. I watched over you in those six years. >

Kiyu took the explanation without a word. She could imagine it. Human and spirit in fact worked together to unleash the powers of the Spiritformers, but as far as she knew, the body remained under the control of the human as a general rule.

However, since she was unconscious, Cheryu must have somehow forced control over her body and used his powers non-stop for seven days to keep her alive. It was just a desperate struggle to survive for an unknown length of time. But in the end, the two won the battle.

"I understand," Kiyu replied in conclusion and remained silent.

So many thoughts were buzzing around in her restless head, and she tried calming her mind.

Since she and Cheryu shared their thoughts and feelings, he knew for sure what was going on inside her. At least he had remained silent.

Kiyu was facing the former village of Harios. The setting sun reflected in the sea bay and the smoke, which took over the entire village, drifted away. The houses, burned down to a few beams, looked terrible. But that anything at all had survived after the spirit raged, bordered on a miracle.

She looked down thoughtless, while Laki stirred behind her. By good fortune she had survived, for which Kiyu was grateful, and had since passed from unconsciousness to sleep.

But what was the next step? How should she face Laki after everything that had happened? That she had saved Laki did not change the fact that she caused the death of her family! A guilt, which she had to carry for the rest of her life on her shoulders!

A part of her wished Laki would not wake up and just sleep in peace until the end of her life. But another part of Kiyu knew that this calm sleeping Laki would not be the truth when she woke up, and that she had to face this Laki.

"Mama," Laki whimpered and tossed and turned.

She rolled back and forth for quite a while while Kiyu prepared for the inevitable - she had to face Laki.

"Wua!" screamed Laki and wakened up gasping while Kiyu still had her back turned. She couldn't bring herself to look her in the face while Laki was venting all her hate on her. After all, Laki meant everything to her.

"Kiyu?" Laki uttered in confusion after straightening up and finding Kiyu there with her back turned to her.

But Kiyu did not respond. How could she react? Was there even a correct reaction in such a situation? She was already struggling to suppress her tears of joy that Laki had woken up after all.

Kiyu assumed Laki had looked around and discovered her burned home.

"Mom and Dad?" she sniveled without coming nearer or moving away.

"Unh-uh" That negative sound was the only one Kiyu could bring past her lips as she shook her head. In her mind, tears just formed in Laki's eyes and she felt so much heavier. In one stroke, she felt tears running down her face and her entire body trembled.

She was happy and sad at the same time. Happy that Laki had woken up again, but unhappy about the suffering that she did to her with this answer.

They both burst into tears, with Kiyu trying to suppress them. But no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't succeed.

Her grief upset her and she felt that the warmth which she had generated with her powers disappeared from her body. Trembling, she grabbed her upper arms with her hands and pressed her fingertips into her fair skin. As always, her skin remained white and even the pressure of the fingertips did not change it until small drops of blood trickled down her arm.

"Kiyu?" cried Laki in horror. "Kiyu, your clothes?" Until now, she hadn't realized that Kiyu had given her the shirt as a blanket.

But Kiyu didn't respond to Laki's horrified call. Instead, she remained in her tearful position.

A moment later, however, she felt a warm hand brush against her back. All at once, the coldness disappeared from her body when she noticed Laki was snuggling against her back and embracing her with her hands.

"Thank you for saving me," Laki whispered empathized, continuing to snuggle up to Kiyu.

No matter how much she had tried to suppress her feelings before, Kiyu now failed downright. With her foster sister hugging her, she sobbed, and let all the tears she was holding back just run.

Disregarding her previous restraint, she turned around in a hurry and dropped into Laki's arms, crying on her shoulder. It was like that time on the boat, except that despite her loss, Laki was strong enough to comfort and strengthen Kiyu, who blamed herself for everything that happened.