COMING OF AGE

VALTARA

There are very few things I remember about my mother; the color of her hair, her fresh smell, her sweet gaze, the softness of her skin, and the terrified sound of her screams. I wish I remembered more, but I don't. I wish I remembered what happened that night, but I was barely one. I wish Ora or Father talked about her more, but they rarely do. Ora says it's too soon, and for father is just too painful; I can't imagine the unbearable weight of losing the one you love not once but twice, first with my brother's mother and then mine.

I stare intently at my reflection in the mirror. They say I look a lot like her, except for my eyes, they are my father's green. Today though, I look… unexpectedly regal. My reddish wavy strands are up in an intricate design, and my eyes pop out thanks to the deep color used to highlight them; even my dull lips look plump, and my severe facial features look imposing.

I'm not ugly on any given day, but today I look like something otherworldly, almost as if my skin glowed and my eyes shined. Salina and Carina are pretty talented, but they truly outdid themselves this time. Not that my father, or my brother, for that matter, expected any less from them for my coming-of-age ball. The ball I've been equally excited and terrified to experience.

– Are you ready, bug? – Malden, my brother, knocks on my door. Way too chipper for my taste.

– Coming… – I answer him while I take one last look at myself and go open the door.

I open de door, and my brother whistles mockingly while he assesses me. His smile is broad, his brown hair is all pulled back, and his green eyes sparkle with happiness and mischief.

– Valy… I didn't know you cleaned up so well – Malden chuckles, and I slap him playfully on the arm.

– Shut up, I'm perfect and you know it – I say and then stick my tongue out to him.

Malden laughs while I roll my eyes and give him my hand. He takes it and kisses it.

– You look beautiful, bug; I will have to keep a lot of suitors at arm's length tonight – he says with a soft smile and kind eyes. I can't stop the blushing that creeps up my cheeks.

– At least you won't have to interview them as I had to when you came of age. Fortunately for us, Father is still around – We both smile, although I know we both feel the pain in our throats whenever we talk about our mothers.

– Care for a walk, little sis? Before I have to share you with everyone at the ballroom. – he asks and offers me his arm. I chuckle and intertwine my arm with his while we stroll through the estate.

– The wolf's lair, you mean – We both laugh at that – You are going to get me into trouble; Ora asked me to see her before the ball began.

– She'll get over it – Mal shrugs and I roll my eyes.

– How is Emerald, by the way? – I ask him. A spellbound smile crosses his face.

– She is… nervous – he says while chuckling – the official two-year courtship period is up next month.

The courtship period… the enjoyable yet dreadful part of growing up. The opportunity for love to sweep you off your feet and the chance of a happily ever after with a teammate. Either that or failing to find someone during the brief five-year period of grace and becoming a non-participant in the social structure.

We greet several of the estate's staff while we go through the halls covered in ornate wood and heavily pigmented art. There is energy buzzing all through the place. The servants look ecstatic, most of them have known me all my life, and today, finally, I have become an adult and technically, since my father never remarried after my mother, the lady of this house. I am not as scared of that responsibility as of having to find a husband.

– What is she nervous about? Father adores her, and her parents like you well enough – I chuckle, but Malden shrugs – You are a Lord's heir, a dedicated male, and a wonderful person Mald; they won't stand between you two.

– We know. Is just that… – he stands briefly and turns with a dreary look – she knows, and I know I wasn't her parents' first choice.

– But you are hers – I squeeze his hand – you know how the Wessian council works; they won't keep you two apart if they don't see a good reason not to.

– Yes, but I don't want our engagement to cause a strain on her relationship with her family.

I stare at Malden knowingly. Of course, he wouldn't want Emerald to be in that position. He loves her and wants to make her happy, and she is as lucky as an equally deserving girl. They shouldn't even be worried about this, not with how devoted they are to each other.

– They would be the ones causing it, not you nor her. You love each other, Mald, and not just that, but you are good for each other, which is what the council seeks when they approve an engagement.

– I guess so. It doesn't make it less daunting, though – he chuckles – but maybe you'll know soon enough – Malden smiles while he wiggles his brows. I laugh nervously.

– I hope not – I say while my brother stares at me worriedly - at least not yet. – I add quickly – There is so much I want to do before I settle down! So much I want to achieve, so much I want to… live – I say almost hysterical. I've been feeling like this for a while, trapped, on the verge of something huge that is about to slip out of control. My cheeks get red with the rising temperature.

– You do know that is what the courtship period is for, right? You get to know someone; if you don't fit well together, you can search for someone else. The grace period only counts between courtship periods – he says, and I shrug in response.

– Well, yes – I pause – but I don't want to feel the pressure of a courtship period either, let alone several. Not while I feel so… out of place. I want to find myself first. – My voice gets a bit lost in the wind. It's so hot in here; I'm sweating already.

My brother makes a dramatic sigh and rolls his eyes at me.

– Fair enough, so the plan is to scare everyone away. Got it. – Malden smiles mischievously, and we laugh until our stomachs hurt.

I stop laughing, but the hurt doesn't go away. I frown and bend myself a little to catch my breath. I try to get myself together, but I'm failing. An overwhelming sensation of burning consumes my insides as if a hellish fire was licking my organs, my veins, my blood. We are almost out. Before us the gates to the garden are open and some freshness dances all over my skin, but it's not enough to calm the excruciating sensation.

– Valtara? What's wrong? – my brother stops and frowns at me with worry.

– I… I don't know – A piercing scream comes out of my mouth and dies in my throat as a pained gasp – Go get Ora… I think… She said… Something's wrong.

Malden runs frantically towards Ora's quarters while I kneel and try to rise my dress to see below it where the feeling seems to be coming from. Barely underneath my bustier, a golden glowing symbol cuts through my skin. I scream terrified, in agony, just as my mother did that long-lost night in the middle of a forest I barely remember.