The Black Day

Cultivation was maaad boring, I can't lie. Hours and hours spent sitting in a room and doing a slightly special style of breathing. But… a mf needed more storage for vassals. So a mf did what a mf had to do. I no-lifed the shit out of meditation for days on end. It was the only thing I focused on.

Two months later… I finally felt it. Profound energy.

[Elementary Profound Realm I reached.]

[Rank: Bronze → Silver.]

[New Rank benefits: 1 roll per 45 days, 2 maximum active vassals and 6 storage limit. Unlocked bonding.]

[Bonding - The longer a vassal is in your service and the more you make use of their talents, the more of their true power they unlock… or, if they lack that talent, they evolve to have abilities they wouldn't otherwise. Also, once your bond is high enough, you can pick up skills from vassals and use them personally.]

Sounds great.

It was summoning time!

…

I had accumulated sixty-two rolls over the decade of my youth, more than enough for something good. At least, it should be. Sixty-one chances at getting someone who could aid me in my path… it shouldn't be too difficult. Unless my luck is hot garbage, of course.

It was time to find out.

"It's about that time, isn't it?" Senjumaru Shutara stood beside me as looked at the rock square frame. It had improved slightly, being taller and smoother in structure. It also now had an opening before the 'throne', like a door except there was nothing in its place. The stone chair was also sittable now… but not comfortable.

"Mhm."

The other two were slightly less excited… knowing that their future's were uncertain.

"System, roll, roll, roll!" I commanded with a wide grin on my face. 'It's about damn time I get more vassals for my future conquests.'

[Rolling…]

A green light shot up from the sky.

[From the sensational Game known as Minecraft, your 13th roll is…]

'Minecraft? Finally, something I know about.'

From the green light emerged a tall, slender and blocky figure with glowing pinkish purple eyes. 

[Enderman.]

"Why couldn't you be the ender dragon, huh?" I stroked my chin.

Enderman stared back at me… not uttering a single word. His gaze did not move an inch.

"What a weird individual…" Eri Kasamoto remarked. "That thing is definitely not human."

"I know you can teleport 'n' shit. You even pick up blocks off the ground in the game, right?" I asked… even though I was 99% certain. I just wanted to hear the bastard talk.

He kept staring.

"Well… I gotta keep you bro. Come over here." I nudged my head.

He teleported… and I felt his presence behind me.

"Right… that works too." 

"You chose to keep that thing but threw away the poor Sitri." Senjumaru remarked.

"Sitri couldn't teleport, could she? From what I saw she was just a normal woman with a sob story… but I have to make these decisions with my mind and not my heart."

"Fair enough."

'Roll!'

After six useless greys in a row… the clouds turned darker and darker, covering the world in ominous darkness. Lightning cracked and a rainbow ray of light shot down onto the centre of the stone frame. The moment the light touched the ground, a violent wind swept up the surrounding area.

Rainbow… that's the first.

[From Umineko no Naku Koro ni…]

[The Golden and Endless Witch… Beatrice!]

From the rainbow, emerged a beautiful woman in a dark brown ball-gown dress. She had ginger-blonde hair and alluring blue eyes, red fingernails and a rather unsettling smile. Her hair was tied up and she wore a bow along with it which was adorned by a rose. She had a black choker, too, which James found rather informing in regards to her personality.

"I do hope you do not bore me, my King." Beatrice stated, courteously lowering her head and performing a curtsy. "If you turn out to be soft and righteous… I may just kill you myself."

"... You're quite demanding, aren't you?" I pointed out, tilting my head. "Listen here, woman. You are my vassal and that means-"

She began to laugh… it was a mocking laughter. 

"You bitch-"

"Forgive me, 'my liege', I find it difficult to take a young boy like you seriously."

"Keep chatting shit and you'll be making me sandwhiches every fucking day. Hell, you ain't leaving the damn kitchen for the rest of your damned existence." I crossed my arms. "As far as I'm concerned, I don't even have to keep you. At a single whim, I can send you back to whatever Unidicko no Cuntu Loro Nigga universe you came from."

"... Yes, certainly. But that would be a great waste, wouldn't it?" Beatrice pouted slightly. "I can tell you right now I'll be more useful than those four behind you combined. You may as well dismiss all of them right now in favour of me."

"Hahaha… hahahaha." Senjumaru couldn't contain her laughter. "You?"

"I am the Endless Witch." 

"Yeah, but as my teacher used to say, attitude is everything. You can be the best in the world and… even then, if your attitude is dogshit, you won't get anywhere. In this case, if you can't follow my basic instructions, what use are you to this 'team'? What use are you to me?"

"We're a team now?" Eri remarked. "A band of misfits would be more accurate."

"..." Beatrice smiled slightly as she looked into my eyes. She closed hers and nodded. "So be it, my King. I will be obedient to you."

"Good… now come over here, we got more rolling to do."

Beatrice walked up to me and stood at the opposite side of Senjumaru and Kyuomo. The Enderman was vibing in the back and Eri stood closer to the stone frame. She was right, we were a band of misfits. A band of misfits with one common goal… or, at least that was the hope.

'Their personalities might become a problem in the future…'

7 useless greys followed, all of which I sent right back. Then… a scarlet red ray of light, the first of its kind, tore through the sky. My eyes widened.

It must be some good shit…

[From Bleach…]

AGAIN?

I mean… I'm not complaining. Keep them Bleach girls coming!

The red ray struck and from it emerged a tall, curvaceous woman who had green fur covering most of her body. She had ankle-length mallow-coloured hair with black markings on her bangs. She slowly opened her light green eyes and returned James' intrigued gaze.

'Wow… those are some real curves.'

"Ah… Zabimaru… or part of it, that is. A part that I never had the honour of meeting." Senjumaru remarked, smiling slightly. "Welcome."

"You recognise her?" I glanced at Senjumaru. 'I mean, they're from the same 'Anime' so it's certainly possible…'

"You would be wise to keep Saru, she is quite the tenacious sword."

Saru nodded, holding her head high. "Your death was unfortunate, Senjumaru, but fate brought us together under this James fellow. I look forward to fighting alongside you."

"A tenacious sword, huh?" I grinned. "We could use those around here."

"Equally, she would expect you to be strong enough to be her master…" Senjumaru added. "Or else, you'll be insulted to no end for being weak."

"Hahaha…" Saru laughed. "You know me well."

"That's good… I refuse to be weak as well." I nodded with conviction. "I don't need everyone to be a yes-woman here… if there's something that I'm doing wrong and can change to benefit myself, then I would very much like to know."

"That's wise and all… I take it that you will not reject my service?"

"Mhm, come over here."

That was my sixth and final roster spot.

I stroked my chin, glancing at Kyoumo Gyoza. She played with her braids, nervously looking around.

"Uh… what is it that you do, exactly?" I asked. You know, I had to make sure she was right for the job.

"I'm a VTUBER… I play games and stuff-"

"Useless." I remarked, shaking my head and waving my hand to the side. "BEGONE!"

A portal appeared and dragged her away. I smiled slightly… it was a little too satisfying to determine one's fate at a whim. 

"You are so, so… cruel." Beatrice chuckled. "I love it, my liege."

"I'm glad you do, Beatrice. Though… one day that might be you."

"I doubt it." She smiled, glazing at me. "I think you and I are going to have a long-lasting relationship. One that may go even beyond that of King and vassal…"

"Oh?" I grinned slightly. "Maybe"

"Hmph." Senjumaru didn't say much in regards to that.

I kept rolling.

And rolling…

And rolling…

No kidding, the next forty-three rolls were all frighteningly useless. It felt like karma had struck for the harsh dismissal of Kyoumo Gyoza. But my overall 74th roll and the last one I had in the tank… it felt different.

[From the Game Franchise known as World of Warcraft…]

World of Warcraft? That old MMO?

The entire sky grew dark with ominous clouds. Thunderous black lightning struck the ground all over the world. A deep fog slowly appeared, a fog so thick I could hardly see my own hands. All my vassals felt a great wave of pressure… and so did I.

'What the fuck is this going to be…'

Even I felt a little scared of my own roll. 

A black ray of light struck the ground… but it did not even bother landing in the square frame. Instead, it landed about a hundred metres away. The fog slowly dispersed over the seconds after and I ran straight for the landing spot. A whole lake had formed… a very deep lake, at that. As I stood over it, I couldn't see quite what I had summoned.

Then it slowly emerged out of the waters… a terror that would only appear in one's nightmare's. A terrible monster that seemed to be absolutely colossal, with hundreds of mouths full of teeth all over its body. It had a main mouth, the largest of all… and I swear you could fit a blue whale in there. It looked endless. Not only that, but the monstrosity also seemed to have an endless number of tentacles which danced around the lake and above its head.

[Yogg-Saron, the Old God of Death.]

"Uhm…" I looked back at the rest of my vassals. "Ya'll agree that this one's a bit on the frightening side?"

"A terrible monster..." Beatrice remarked.

"Not the prettiest thing." Eri added.

"You wanted 'useful' vassals… I suppose this one would have a use if you accepted it." Senjumaru stated. "Most men would flee at the sight of such a thing."

"You, who summons me… do you believe yourself worthy of commanding a God?"

"I summoned you and I can dismiss you just as quickly." I nodded, tilting my head. "Even if you may not consider me worthy of being your King as things are… there will come a day when I will be. One day, I will be a King of Kings, A God of Gods."

Trying to tame this 'Old God of Death' was a bit crazy, I'll admit… but I'm pretty crazy too. It's only fitting.

"You have ambition!" Yogg-Saron's thunderous voice rumbled across the world. "But… words are just that. The question is are you a man of action, James? Will you fulfil that great ambition?"

"You'll have to see that for yourself, won't you?" I smiled slightly. "A monster like you can surely come in handy."

"... Only call my name when there are a vast number of souls that need devouring, James."

It sank back into the depths.

"A vast number of souls… yeah, okay. No problemo, my eldritch pet!" I gave a thumbs up before turning around. 'That thing is terrifying. System, I'm pulling from the FEMALE pool, right?'

[King's System: There is no 'IT' pool… and, as such, beings with unknown or speculated gender are placed in both pools.]

'Fair enough… I got my boy Enderman because of it. Then again, I should really get to rolling from the male pool. There has to be some cool peeps with badass powers.'

[King's System: Unlike Christophe Giacometti.]

'Yes… unlike Spaghetti man.'

With the rolling done, I opened my eyes to the real world.

~

My father had been growing sickly recently and it didn't seem to be getting any better. Though, upon news of my breakthrough, he called for me. Of course, I obliged my royal father's command. 

"The Elementary Profound Realm at the age of twelve?" Cang Wanhe chuckled as he observed with a proud expression. "How long have you been cultivating, my son?"

"About two months." I replied honestly. "I think that's pretty good, right?"

To me… it felt loooong. Way too long. Surely cultivating can't be that boring? Or maybe there are other ways around it? I have the King's Fame growth thing… 

"Good?" He managed a laugh. "That is unheard of in our Blue Wind Empire! Perhaps your mother was right all along… that you would be a genius that our Imperial Family has never seen before."

"Maybe." I shrugged. "I do try to do the best for our family."

"Good, good… I will enrol you directly into the Blue Wind Profound Palace as an inner palace disciple. You will also have the finest instructors under the Blue Wind Imperial Family to guide you throughout the beginning of your cultivation journey. Also… the finest resources will be available to you. With the ambition and will for growth, you, my son… can truly make me proud. But not only me, no… the Blue Wind Empire as a whole!"

"I won't fail you, father." I lowered my head respectfully. "I won't waste the great opportunity that you've presented to me… I promise that I won't just rank 100th in the future Blue Wind Ranking Tournament but I will also… win it! I'll be the best talent this Blue Wind Empire has ever seen." 

"Hahha… I do hope… I get to see the day." Cang Wanhe nodded, although struggling slightly. "I will make my decision known soon enough. Do not get ahead of yourself… take it one step at a time."

I nodded. "Understood."

It was depressing seeing a once powerful figure grow sickly over time… is there something I can do about it that the number one doctor in the Blue Wind Empire can't?

Maybe one of my vassals is capable of healing… Beatrice? She is a witch, after all.

I'll have to ask later.

~

Qin Wuyou, one of the Blue Wind Profound Palace's elders, came to personally introduce me to the Blue Wind Profound Palace. As he took me around, a lot of the disciples found themselves looking at me. A lot of gossiping ensued.

"An imperial prince… in the Blue Wind Profound Palace? I thought they were all slackers…"

"Isn't he a cute little boy?" 

"What's his name?"

"It should be the seventh prince, Cang Chao…"

"You are already popular, eh?" Qin Wuyou spoke with a warm tone as he glanced back. "This is the outer palace… a place that you will not be seeing much, given your station."

"The outer, middle and inner palaces are all based on strength, right?"

"Yes… however, you have the privilege of being an imperial prince. Strength is not a necessity for you. His majesty has taken note of your potential and wishes to raise it properly. Though, you need not worry about your stronger peers. They would not dare to harm a prince of the Blue Wind Imperial Family."

"For that matter…" Qin Wuyou chuckled, glancing back at me. "They would be scared of you."

"Eh, I'm not one to start unnecessary problems. I'm just here to grow stronger like everyone else." I nodded.

[King's System: Those are half-truths, my liege. You are known for your troublesome attitude.]

'Shush… I can act good when I need to.'

The elder took me around the block, showing where to get profound arts and skills, where the best weapons were, which instructors to seek guidance from. Finally, he took me to a fancy-mancy room which was vast in size and had plenty of utilities. The best of all, it had a cultivation room with very highly condensed profound energy.

"This is the finest environment for growth you could ask for, my prince." Qin Wuyou spread open his arms. "I do hope you find these accommodations suitable."

"They're bloody amazing." I nodded, taking in a deep breath. "Shit smells good from all the way here."

"..." He paused, chuckling. "Yes, that much is true. Is there anything else you'd like to know as of now?"

"No… I think I'll do well with some alone time. I'll seek you out or any of the other elders if there's anything I need."

"Good." He nodded, smiling slightly. "Enjoy your stay here. I do hope that His Majesty's hopes in you come into fruition."

They sure as hell will…

I sat down for the rest of the day, meditating away and enjoying my new accommodations. This Inner Palace room was almost as luxurious as my own royal room AND it had all the stuff for cultivating. 

Truly, it is Heaven for my current objectives.

I meditated until the night… and then an idea came to me.

I summoned Enderman.

"You're my homie, right?" I looked into his eyes.

He did not speak… but I felt like that was a 'yes'.

"I'm going to need you to do what you do best and teleport around… you know what I'm sayin'?"

The Enderman looked down before disappearing in black-purple dust. 

…

Several hours later, he returned with hundreds of storage rings full of resources.

"Uhm…" I chuckled. "That's my fucking guy. I love you, Enderman, I really do. You're my fucking G."

The Enderman, after nodding, returned into my storage.

I was right to keep him… this man is G.O.A.T.E.D.

~

"Where the fuck is my storage ring!?" An inner palace disciple scrambled all over looking for it, damn near tearing down his entire room.

"You're saying… my entire treasury is gone!?" The first prince, Cang Lin's eyes widened in shock, disbelief and anger. "How the fuck did that happen!?"

"How will I challenge my brother with all my riches gone?!" The third prince, Cang Shuo, was also thoroughly robbed. "Gone… into thin air!? How the fuck is that even possible!?"

In a single night, countless treasures in the Blue Wind Imperial City had vanished. From the Blue Wind Profound Palace to the Imperial Prince's personal treasuries to even its Black Moon Merchant Guild. A terrible travesty had occurred that would be known as the Black day…

…

Meanwhile, James was grinning from ear to ear and chilling in his throneroom… now a place of great riches. 

'I'm the greediest fucker alive… and I fucking own it.'

James grasped one of the jewels, a golden crown, and placed it atop his head. 

"Hail King James!" Beatrice smiled, half-mocking it, as she bowed. "Long may he reign."

'If anyone ever asked what I was King of… it was myself!'