EMPTY WORDS
Anger is a fascinating emotion.
the world has gone mad, and all I could do was run for shelter, to find a safe haven that was familiar, but my baba; the last of that intimacy has been ripped from me..... in an instant.
I perceived my heartbeat, and then another's....it came from the pendant....mine was fast paced beating widely, I could feel it tearing my chest open, my tears a bitter acid I could taste on my lips.
The pulsation of the other heart beat was soft yet seem to carry a ponderous strength, it was like a soft morning breeze yet it could pull mountains.
what is this?
A heavy sound filled my body making my bones ache, yet calmly embraced me, the sheer dissonance of two opposing factor existing simultaneously seized my soul, I was on the brink of madness when a soothing breeze blew through my soul as both heart beat synchronised.
"haaaah"
A slow sound of comfort radiated from his palm, as an unsympathetic will was awakened. then solace warped into hunger...
"feed me"
A moment before the pendant was silvery bright, now it drew from the darkness in the shrine....the colour turned a black that harken to the void, an emptiness that could never be filled.
"Anger is a useful tool"
Everything sheltered was gone, but that cold gaze drew me from my despair, I saw the bizarre creature that took that from me, and frozen clarity gave my shaking legs strength.
I will die here, but I will rip the guts from this creature with my bare hands, it has intelligence so it will feel fear, I want it to hurt...I want it screams to wash my pains away, I want to feed on its anguish...
"I want to...I want to consume!"...
Anything wrong with my thought processes was washed underneath, it was lost under an ever mounting anger at the creature that was now plodding towards me.
The beast dragged its hind leg approaching. I observed that it was moving much easier, a faint pop as muscle shifted and bones realigned, it got closer to the doorway.
then I stepped out. it started, I took another step forward, then knelt on one knee. The so-called bultigin backed up a little, and observed me for a moment....I let my head hang low, a shiver ran across my skin as I heard its chuckle?.
my hand shook, disguising my anger for fear was hard, I was feeling none....
A shadow covered me, a putrid odour was the only warning I had, the beast was upon me, if I lifted my hands up I could touch it, the decaying breath on my face felt cold, the beast encapsulated the vitality of life, and the coldness of death, it was a fallen creature, it had no business walking the earth, but hell was unleashed and now its had free reign...
Being this close made me appreciate its size, it was as big as the horse i got to ride at the ranch next to my village....my right hand raised up, my neck tilted, exposing my jugular, this was the ancient sacrificial pose, that was expected when offering our lives to the old gods, baba made me learn it ... the breath of the beast slowed. I could detect its satisfaction, its gently nipped my neck and tasted my blood.... it did not hurt!
Raising both hands I encircled it neck,
"your blood is bitter" The Bultigin spat out words that came out misshapen, its eyes narrowing in suspicion
"is it ?, I chuckled.... let's taste yours"
My arms tightened around its neck and I chomped down. My teeth cracked as I chewed on uncaring, it's reared back more in surprise than pain, it was slipping from my grasp, so I dug my fingers into exposed muscles.
"Cur" in anger it shook its body, my arm dislocated with a faint pop, closing its jaws on my left arm it tore it from my body. the pain was distant, its claws were reared up, and my body was savaged.
seemingly in a fit of anger for my transgressions, my body was butchered, my mind was a passive observer to this carnage as I seem to float above it all. my head still hanging on its neck as my teeth was still clamped shut about it..
The bultigin began swallowing my flesh, with a sharp movement, it yank my head off and opening wide swallowed it. My arms were next, then I made a peculiar observation, my point of view was linked to the pendant that I held with a death grip in my discarded left arm, and as I watched it swallow down the arm... I slid down its throat.
Darkness consumed me, wrapping me up, I realised; this was not so bad. it's was soothing, like a mother soft lullaby that drew one to a gentle rest, my sadness was cloying I needed relief from from the confusion and pain I had been dragged into, I will be joining baba soon, I welcomed death.
I distantly heard from the beast as it scoffed;
"empty words"
And shame held me, this world has changed but my grandfather seemed to understand the reasons, he could fight this creature, if I had moulded the chalk earlier, maybe baba would be fine... I should not have let him leave my arms, I should have died beside him, I did not even draw blood from the beast, baba always said the old ways had powers but it was stripped from them when men abused it, whatever power it was had returned and bought hell with it.
Seemingly outside my control fury covered my shame, no mistakes I made should necessitate the death of my baba, and the tearing down of my world was not my fault...
fury and self-loathing in equal amount danced in my head, "I hate....hate....."
" hatred is useless, your bare fist has shattered over unyielding stone"
That voice, the voice that first stripped me of my fears and made my decision simple...walk to the beast and kill it, was it mocking me?.
I have had my share of fights, and you can't live with baba without developing a spine, it will be forced down your throat, baba always encouraged me to use my head, but never back down from a fight.
As he says your mind is a powerful tool, but if placed inside a weak body, was an unforgivable blunder. strict exercise regimen baba tortured into me, made me toned, athletic and deceptively strong for my age, with the knowledge he bequeathed me sharpening my mind, it was no surprise I was the strongest youth in the village. And no one had drawn that title in the yearly wrestling matches for my age group for the last eight years.
But my strength of character could not account alone for why I left the safety of the shrine and charged at the beast....my mind then was clear yet felt filled with fog, even now I felt no fear as I was dying....no I should be dead, I could see pieces of my body, rapidly digesting in the cold furnace of the beast stomach....breaking down at an astonishing pace.
"Open yourself to me. The frailty of flesh is a transgression, let's make a better one, and this pitiful creature will be nought but ash under our heel"
It felt almost natural to let myself go, I went numb when massive fangs sank into my soul.
Agony became me, my soul shrieked, and the scream of the bultigin echoed with mine, an unearthly symphony, for in the throes of pain I observed the flesh of the Bultigin being pulled towards the pendant... in a short while, a heart was formed and it was black as deep night. several amorphous tendrils shot out from its and pierced the stomach of the beast and it seemed to go mad with pain and horror. I watched as the heart lining of the stomach rapidly dried up, calcified and turned to Ash, and the tendrils hungrily dug dipper.
Light poured into the stomach, the Bultigin tore it's own weakened stomach open and dragged the heart out, its sorrowful wails echoing in the haze of a world occupied with madness, but the tendrils relentlessly affixed to its flesh...in a fit of madness the Bultigin tore into its flesh nearly cutting itself in half, cold grey entrails was flung away, a sorrowful yelp resounded as it tried to crawl away...
The tendrils dug into the discarded flesh and entrails draining it into Ash, apart from the darkness of the heart becoming a bit deeper there was no change, it rested on the floor.
the Bultigin turned to the black heart, its expression in a comical parody of fear, suddenly four distended bones like spiders leg popped out of the heart, and the Bultigin whimpered...
The bones extended as they got fuller, I vaguely surmised that if I was lying prone the bones will represent my arms and legs, slowly a frame of bones was pushed out from the heart, that the four growing spurs of white bone was attached to.
I watched in fascination as the bones spread in a facsimile of a skeletal structure for there was no joints it moves like melted plastic, but a solidity in its makeup felt like molten steel... a crack resounded as a skull grew from the bony frame....
I became aware of my new body.
I stood up, but I was nothing but a pale skeletal figure, no muscles or blood or flesh, my heart grew more tendrils that was meshed into my bones, smaller tendrils like maggot were shed, that crawled up my skull and filled my empty eye socket, suddenly my perception shifted to my eyes, and I could see.... no, seeing was the wrong word, I could "grasp information"... my eyes seemed to suck in the light...the world was silent, but my vision was bright, it took up all my senses, I could literally see the fear of the Bultigin, its colour was yellow like decaying meat.
I looked down at my arms as I raised them marvelling in horror, from afar I may look like a skeleton, but up close the bones were all smooth. like a mannequin made of bones, but I could easily flex my fingers, I experimented and closed my fist, then folded it again...I chuckled as my forearm became a fist, this limit of flexibility was unreal... I "saw" another whimper from the Bultigin...my body had been unconsciously walking to it while I observe my frame...
"why wield weapons, when our fist can shatter the earth, and our claws tear apart the horizon"
Looking at the trail of pale blood the Bultigin left behind, I laughed, a sound so unnerving it terrified me...I felt an itch on my sole...how do these bones feel sensations, I can't begin to fathom... a wave of tendrils snaked from my rib cage down my thighs to the ground, those dug into the soil draining it for every pale drop of blood shed by the Bultigin.
I walked closer, thoroughly enjoying all the lines of fear that the Bultigin fed me with. A few feet away from the beast, I cocked my head, and said
"empty words?"
Not waiting for replies, A burst of hunger radiated from my heart as I threw myself at the Bultigin.
I don't know what my bones were made of but as I clasped its neck, my fingers penetrated its skin and muscles and I held on to its spines....it was terrified and it fear fed me, I pushed my skull closer to its face and drew a deep breath, I closely watched its eyes as an horrify deluge of tendrils enveloped it....
it was torn apart..
The Bultigin whimpered "let me serve" but the plea from the beast was lost before my all consuming hunger, a moment later there was no trace of the creature left.
I stood up, still bone. then with a flurry of motion I was wrapped in a cocoon of tendrils, as it receded, flesh was revealed...I stared in awe at my arm, it was lean, my skin was grey like old stone, with hardly any musculature beneath, the Bultigin was a Huge creature, after consuming all that mass I hardly had any flesh over my bones, but at least now I had a tongue, and other sensory organs. I regretted that shortly...for a deluge of inputs buried me from my surroundings...
I crouched covering my ears and squeezing my eyes shut...the world was pouring into my skull, I tasted the flames from the fires and heard the light as it cast shadows on a ruined world, my senses was jumbled as I tried to make sense of what I was experiencing, my eyes seemed to zoomed into objects if I focus on it long enough giving me horrifying details of my surrounding, I closed them again and buried my head...I don't know how long I was hunched over but I noticed that my senses became easier to manage I had become used to the sights, sounds and smell, the adaptability of my new body amazed me.
overall all these paled to the screams in my heart, it gnawed at me, every essence of me wanted to feed, for I could feel the totality of my body , the distinction between my bones and flesh gone.
Every part of me was known, and available for my control and manipulation, down to the tiniest bit of hair on my arm, I could feel them. I realised for the moment that my veins were present in my new body but no blood ran through, did I need blood?, if not, why were there veins in my body....
These observations were rapidly forgotten as hunger crashed into me in unrelenting waves, it was a need I had to satisfy, I peered up, and saw pale florescent light drift into my skin, as tips of little tendrils fine like silk floated on my arm.
I knew somehow that I was feeding on the carnage around me...the burning forest, the dirty skies, the now silent village was feeding me, I was drawing the carnage around me....I was eating chaos...and it was not enough.
I heard rustling in the forest... I peered over and saw a short green creature...looking up at me, it turned and scuttled into the forest.
"leave nothing in our wake"
The voice was coming from my heart.
Grinning like the Bultigin, all teeth. I followed.