40. Chapter 40

AN: New chapter time. Apparently the anniversary of this story is in a couple of days, so I was hoping to have an update out to coincide with that otherwise meaningless date. And now I have.

"So when last we spoke," Lisa said, looking over her notes, "You'd said that your powers first manifested while you were playing with Lincoln, inadvertently causing you to endanger him. However, you were nevertheless able to use those same powers to save Lincoln without harm coming to either of you. Though, you apparently caused some substantial damage to our lawn in the process."

"I wouldn't say I endangered him," Lori protested. "It was a total fluke that my powers just so happened to kick in at that exact second."

"That's what inadvertently means."

"...shut up," Lori muttered, rolling her eyes. "But yeah, that's when I got my powers. Some of them, anyway. The whole thing would have gone a lot more smoothly if I could have flown at the time, but all I did was get stronger and tougher."

"And how did that change things for you?" Lisa asked, flipping her notebook to a new page.

"It was...challenging," Lori admitted. "Thankfully, I was a lot weaker back then. If I'd started where I am now, I don't think we'd have had a house for very long, but even at that level it was still hard to get a handle on things."

"How so?"

"Off the top of my head," Lori began counting off on her fingers. "One time I was serving soup to the kids for lunch, and I couldn't gauge the temperature properly. It felt fine to me, but poor Luan nearly burnt her tongue off."

"Given her continued propensity towards punnery, at least we can confidently conclude that there was no lasting damage," Lisa interjected, snidely.

"There was the time I spaced out in the hallway and walked right into Lincoln's room—"

"That doesn't sound unusual."

"Through the wall," Lori clarified, with a self-deprecating smile. "Walked straight on through and left a me-sized hole behind. Scared the heck out of the poor kid."

"Ah," Lisa nodded. "Yes, I can see why that would be problematic."

"I tried to do my usual routine with Lincoln and show him that there weren't any monsters under his bed," Lori continued. "And accidentally ended up throwing the whole bed into the wall, breaking both things. I heard Lincoln and his friends screaming once and rushed over to check on them. Accidentally tore his door right off its hinges, and then they were screaming because of me."

"What had been the initial cause?"

"They'd been watching a scary movie," Lori chuckled. "Without mom and dad's permission. They weren't happy about...really any of that when they got home that night. Oh, there was one time when one of Lincoln's action figures broke. I think the arm had fallen off, or something. I tried to see if I could finagle it back on and accidentally crushed the whole thing into a little ball of plastic. He was...pretty upset about that. Then Lynn got mad about Lincoln being sad and kicked me in the shins. Or, tried to, anyway, she nearly broke her own toe with that stunt."

"It sounds like a lot of these involve Lincoln," Lisa observed, scribbling furiously into her notebook. "Is there any particular reason for that?"

Lori's eyes narrowed as she seemingly considered those words. Finally, she spoke.

"I felt...guilty, about what had happened to Lincoln," she said, grudgingly. "Adjusting to the quirks of my archetype was difficult all around, but it didn't change the fact that I had put my little brother in danger, and only managed to save him by pure luck. I think, more than anything, I wanted to prove that I could use my powers to help Lincoln specifically, as a way of balancing out that earlier thing. Thankfully, he never held it against me. At least not as far as I could tell."

"He wouldn't," Lisa mused. "Lincoln just isn't wired that way."

"Probably a good thing," Lori chuckled, "because it took me a couple of months to finally get the hang of things. Dad kept a sack of spare doorknobs in the basement so he wouldn't have to run out and buy new ones every time I yanked one-off, or accidentally crushed one or something."

"But that only accounts for your initial powerset, yes?" Lisa asked. "When did the rest...come in, so to speak."

"Not for a while," said Lori, frowning in concentration. "I mean, we all went through some growing pains with our archetypes. The other older girls and I, at least. It's a little early to say one way or another for you younger kids. But I do remember that with Leni and the others, things escalated a lot quicker. Leni figured out how to create magic sparkles one day, and the next she was accidentally blowing holes in the walls. Luna literally brought the house down around the time she was putting together her first concert set, that sort of thing. But I remember things stabilizing for me for a good while."

"Well, when did things change?"

Lori grimaced. "Around the time I tried to get my first job."

"Now, Ms. Loud, I believe I'll need some additional...clarity, on your resume."

Lori tried her best not to squirm as the astoundingly severe-looking man sitting across from her ceased scrutinizing her resume (already stressful all by itself), and instead turned his compassionate gaze unto her. She found herself desperately wishing she'd requested Leni add some kind of mask to her High Card costume. Or maybe a thicker scarf. Basically, anything she could use to obscure the panic that constantly threatened to spill onto her face.

"S-sure," she said, trying to sound at least somewhat more cheerful than she felt. Not an especially tall order, all things considering, it was sounding convincing that was the trick. And that, she felt, was far beyond her mediocre acting talents.

"It says here," the interviewer adjusted his classes, "That you are 'super strong', correct?"

"That's right," she nodded.

"Have you been rated?" He asked, and in spite of, or possibly because Lori had no idea idea what he was talking about, she froze in place.

"I'm...I'm sorry?" Lori asked, trying to keep her voice neutral.

"I'll take that as a no," the man said, scribbling something on her resume. It took every ounce of Lori's self control to refrain from tilting her head and trying to read whatever note he'd written to himself.

"Superpowers encompass a wide spectrum," he explained dispassionately, turning his attention to her once more. "Especially where enhanced physicality is concerned. There are, after all, degrees of superhumanism."

He slapped the resume in his hands. "Can you lift a car? A mountain? A planet? All of these are considered to be superhuman feats, but obviously there are drastic differences in application and suitability for work. Generally, aspiring superheroes will have their powers rated so employers can make an informed decision about how useful their powers would be. This is pretty basic stuff."

"Oh," Lori squeaked, mentally kicking herself for not knowing that in advance. "Um, I can lift my parents' van pretty easily. I could probably do...maybe two, or three of those?"

"I...see,"

More scribbling.

"A-and...and I'm pretty good at opening jars," Lori added, desperately hoping to lighten the mood.

"Mmmhmm," the interviewer hemmed noncommittally, thoroughly dashing Lori's hopes.

"What about your durability?" He asked.

Lori winced. "I haven't really tested myself, but I'm pretty resistant to heat, cold, and electricity. Also falling. And...knives."

"Kitchen knives, or something with more bite? These days, monomolecular blades are the standard in this line of work."

"K-kitchen." Lori admitted, deflating slightly.

The interviewer clucked disapprovingly as he drew long, horizontal slashes across her resume.

"Any idea how you'd fare against automatic gunfire?"

"Appalling," said Lisa.

"Right?" Lori nodded frantically. "I've fought supervillains who've treated me better than that guy! Actual super villains! People whose jobs it is to antagonize me!"

"No, I mean it's appalling how underprepared you were for that interview," Lisa corrected her, shaking her head disapprovingly. "It's standard procedure for many archetypes to get an official rating for their abilities before seeking employment. You should have known better."

"I was a kid!" Lori snapped. "I could've done some research before going in there, sure, but it's not like I had any real guidance on this stuff. I was the first one who had to go through any of this stuff, and with mom and dad being Bystanders, I pretty much had to figure out this stuff on my own."

"You could have sought help from the Academy. They have programs in place for exactly these situations, I'm certain they would have had something similar at the time."

"I thought about that," Lori admitted, grudgingly. "But to be honest, I was worried they'd talk me out of it."

"Because of your age and complete lack of any but the most basic qualifications?"

"...I would have phrased that a little more delicately," Lori grumbled peevishly. "But yeah. The fact is, we needed money. It's probably hard to picture now, since Luna brings in more than enough money for us to live comfortably all by herself, and that gets padded out even more by our incomes. Not to mention the prize money Lynn gets from tournaments, and Lola from her pageants. Mom and dad have it pretty easy now, but at the time they had ten kids to support, and Lily was still on the way. Money was already tight, and we still had that hole in the backyard. Now that I had powers, I figured it was my responsibility to try and pitch in."

"An admirable sentiment," Lisa acknowledged with a slight nod. "I've always said you were well suited for your archetype. It's not the powers that make a hero, it's the heart that weirds them."

"That's...very flattering, Lisa. Thank you."

"It's not flattery," said the scientist, shrugging indifferently. "I'm merely making an objective observation. However, I suspect that your desire to do good didn't carry nearly as much weight back then."

"It didn't," Lori admitted, sighing. "Flight, invulnerability, strength, and speed is the most common combination of superpowers, and I didn't even have the whole set at the time."

"Ah, yes. The 'F.I.S.S' package, as it is colloquially referred."

"Right, so at the time I had a ton of competition. Carol got placed immediately, because even though she was also a F.I.S.S, she was crazy powerful, even right after her powers dropped," Lori frowned at the memory. "Stupid Amazonian genetics."

"Not to mention the rigorous training she had likely undergone from a young age, both in the usage of her powers and in the various forms of hand to hand and weapon-based combat she employs."

"...I mean, yeah," Lori admitted, rolling her eyes. "I guess that probably factored into things too. But the bottom line is that I couldn't even find a paying gig clearing out Husks. It was a pretty rough time for me."

"But you did eventually find employment, as you said. How did you accomplish that?"

Lori sighed. "By lowering my standards."

There was a beat of silence.

"I'm sure there's a more polite way of phrasing this, but exactly...how low, are we talking?" Lisa asked, curious.

"So, come on down!" Lori shouted, the broadest smile she could manage under the circumstance plastered across her face. Carefully, she leaned over and hooked her hand underneath a nearby car.

"After all. Our prices...are SUPER!" She finished, punctuating her words by effortlessly hefting the vehicle over her head.

"Ah," said Lisa, nodding her head slowly. "So...below sea level, then."

Lori shuddered. "Sometimes I still wake up screaming about low prices. And then Leni always wants to go car shopping the next morning."