Death's Door

They say life flashes before your eyes before you die, but I never expected it to feel this good. Everything plays through my mind in an enchanting haze. It's like all the bad parts, my family, my work, everything before Catherine, got fast-forwarded.

And then a workplace accident put everything at a normal pace.

The accident crushed my unexpecting left arm one day at work, and the pain I felt was unimaginable. Like my brain and body shattered under the cries of my pulsing bone. The violent waves of anguish drowned me for what felt like forever- but it was probably only five seconds before the shock knocked me out.

Many people would consider it a curse having been fast-forwarded through my entire life up to this point, and then time moving normally at the exact moment this happens. 

But it was worth it, and I'd go through it a thousand times if I could. Because what came next was magic. The same day I felt the greatest pain in my life was the same day my life really began. 

The closer I got to meeting Catherine the more time lagged and sputtered. Until it reached a perfect crawl so I could relive our love one more time. The rumbling wheels rushing me along the hospital floor. Doctors overhead, blinding lights, and finally her. 

"How would you rate your pain on a scale from one to ten sir?" Those were the first things she said to me. 

"Uh, zero. Wait that isn't on a scale from one to ten is it?" Truth be told my pain was probably about a seven, but her face made me numb to whatever I was feeling. 

"It's alright." She gave me an adorable laugh and I felt my heart explode out of my chest. "A zero is the best answer you could give me." 

She was just a nurse assigned to look after my broken body post-surgery, but at the same time so much more. She was so charming and caring and her hair and her face- 

She was just… 

It felt like heaven. 

Then on the day I was set to leave the hospital, I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out. 

"You're asking me for a date?" She asked. 

"I'd be an idiot if I didn't at least try. I don't know what the hospital policy is about nurses dating their patients... but you're... I'd like to ask you out! " 

Honestly, I expected her to say no, I'm nothing special compared to her. I wouldn't even be shocked if she had someone else already. But to my surprise she said, "Awwww, That's very sweet of you. I'd love to go on a date with you Mr.Lu." 

"Wait really!?" I could feel my cheeks aching from how big I was smiling. I sat up from the hospital bed, pulling on the cords attached to my body.

"Yes, really. But after you get some rest, your arm isn't healed yet." She said, setting me back on the soft bed. "It'll be a nice incentive for you to prioritize your health."

So she put her number in my phone, and I eagerly waited for my arm to repair itself. We made sure to text the entire time, and after nine weeks my arm was in good enough shape for her to formally accept my offer. 

So, we dated, bought an apartment, got married, then time sped up again, and here we are. Back to Astahe ready to kill me. 

Truth be told I've never been much into religion. Everyone I knew who was devout was always so judgmental of people, especially towards me after I didn't get married to someone who wasn't as religious as they were. It quickly turned me off the whole subject.

No giant god with a gray cloudy beard sitting atop a throne in heaven. No eternal garden where you'll sit and take walks for the rest of your afterlife. When I die, I'm not expecting any of that. The only thing that gave me comfort all those lonely nights was knowing that at the end of it all, she'd be there. It could be in that eternal garden or our own special pit in hell. I wouldn't care. 

And now I'm almost there. Who knew being this close to death's door could be so comfortable. 

I was already killing myself before Victoria found me, I'll have to thank Astahe for speeding up the process. 

The strangling fear of mortality washes away as I close my eyes to embrace what was to come. Astahe's fist blissfully cuts through the air around it, prepared to deliver me to her. 

I'm ready.