10. Chapter 10

A/N: Oh my god we're at 10 Chapters already!? I remember starting this story and only planning to have five chapters at the most and it's just sort of taken on a life of it's own but I love it. And thank you all for your amazing reviews and PM's about how much you like this story you guys rock :D

NOTE: We're at episode 3x05/06 timeline-wise. and Italics with the apostrophe (') are the person's thought.

Enjoy!

~ Another Broken Heart You've Left Behind ~

Hank watched curiously as Erin sat down at her desk. She had been acting weird the past few days. He would've suspected she had fallen off the wagon again, but her latest - and last, before moving out - urine test could prove that theory false. She had been so happy when she and Halstead had come back from dinner with Burgess and Ruzek. But slowly, he could see that something was weighing her down, causing her to act so out of it. He just didn't know what.

But he did know that whatever it was, it had to do with the man she kept peeking across at from her desk.

...

Erin sighed as she poured her fourth cup of coffee that morning. Ben had kept her up most of the night, he had just begun teething which was making him a very irritable eleven-month-old. The whole team had been placing bets on when Ben would start crawling, and Erin and Jay had been trying to encourage him more and more, since the date they had bet was less than a week away.

She felt her mood sour as she thought of Jay. He had asked her out on a date two weeks ago. But then he hadn't made any plans to actually go out on a date with her. And now she was so worried he had forgotten about asking her in the first place that she didn't want to ask him and embarrass herself.

"Hey" Jay walked into the break room and Erin mumbled a quick "hey" back to him. He stood beside her as he poured a cup of coffee for himself, and Erin sucked in a breath as his arms brushed against her in his attempt to grab the sugar canister. Jay smiled as he turned around and began to walk out of the room.

"Jay?" She said stopping him. He looked at her questioningly. Erin froze. Why had she called out his name?

"Do you have a couch guy?"

Jay frowned "A what?"

'Smooth Erin. Where the hell are you going with this?'

"You know. You have a guy for everything. I need to get a new couch for my apartment"

"What's wrong with the one you have?" He asked.

"I just figured I'd get some new furniture for my new start. And I'm pretty sure someone threw up on it" She said.

"Oh" Jay laughed "Yeah, I can probably sort something out for you"

Erin smiled "Thanks. And maybe you can bring Ben with you and help me set it up?"

Jay narrowed his eyes "You trying to get free labour out of me?"

"There may or may not be pizzas and beer in exchange for your services"

"I dunno..." he teased rubbing his chin in contemplation.

Erin simply shrugged "Hey, if you're not interested I can always ask Atwater -"

"I'll be there"

Erin bit her lip to suppress the smile she could feel bursting through, and nodded her head

"Alright then"

"So you and Lindsay have a date tomorrow?" Antonio said taking a sip of his beer

Jay scoffed "It's not a date. I offered to help her move back into her apartment a few weeks ago, that's all"

"You said you asked her on a date. How long ago was that"

"Two weeks ago" Jay mumbled into his beer.

"What the hell!? You can't just ask a girl out and then not discuss it with her for two weeks! I thought you were supposed to be the smart one" Kim exclaimed.

Jay sighed. He truly had meant to make plans with her. But then they got wrapped up in their cases, as always. And then a week had passed and he was too nervous to bring it up. What if she had forgotten about it? Or changed her mind?'Dude, you're a fucking wreck when it comes to her'.

"That wasn't my intention" Jay argued.

"Well you better figure out a way to make it up to her man. And fast" Ruzek said.

Jay simply nodded his head and took a sip of his beer, not wanting to continue the discussion any further. Atwater started up a new conversation about their latest case, except Jay wasn't listening. He was too busy trying to think of a way to fix his fuck up.

"Hey Burgess, you still have that picnic blanket I gave you for the Secret Santa thing last Christmas?"

Erin fixed her hair for what felt like the hundredth time, she couldn't seem to get it to sit perfectly. She sighed in frustration as a few tendrils fell in front of her face yet again. She was just putting a couch together, why the hell was she trying to look so nice.'Because it's putting a couch together with your partner/ex-boyfriend/baby daddy who you're still madly in love with'.

She was distracted from her thoughts by the knock at the door. Glancing over herself one more time she quickly walked out of her bedroom to answer the door. She was immediately met with her squealing son. Erin chuckled at the little boy's exuberant response to seeing her.

"Hi buddy!" She smiled reaching her arms out for him "How was your day?"

She listened as Ben made incoherent 'baby babble' to her, nodding her head and smiling along in encouragement.

"Wow, sounds like a busy day little man"

"I'm tired just hearing it" Erin spun around to see Jay still standing outside her door, a large basket in one hand. What was he holding that for?

"Can I come in?"

Erin snapped back to attention "Yeah! Sorry, come in. I forgot you were there for a second"

"Oh, I guess I see where your priorities are" Jay sassed

"You mean with my son?" Erin sassed back "Hate to break it to you but he's the most important man in my life"

Jay lay his hand over his hard before dramatically exclaiming "You wound me Er, you really know how to hurt a man"

Erin rolled her eyes looking back at her son "I hope you didn't inherit your Daddy's idiotic tendencies Benny"

"You know I think I might just take this lovely basket and head home" he teased.

"Yeah right" Erin scoffed walking further into the house.

She smirked to herself as she heard the door close, and footsteps following a minute later.

"So, what is in the basket?"

Jay looked at her apologetically "I realise we haven't had that date night of ours, and I wanted to try and make it up to you"

Erin smiled to herself. 'He remembered'

"That doesn't answer my question"

Jay smiled "This is everything I need to make my Mama's special Chicken pot pie"

"I love chicken pot pie" Erin replied

"I know" he replied smugly before walking into the kitchen, leaving Erin in the living room with a face splitting grin on her face.

LINEBREAK

"So how was last night?" Erin asked as she and Ben sat on the floor in front of the kitchen island on the picnic rug Jay had brought with him.

Jay shrugged "Same old. Drinking, joking around, Burgess busting my balls"

Erin raised her eyebrow "You better watch your language around my kid Halstead. If his first word is something it shouldn't be I'm coming for you"

"Our kid won't be talking for a while yet. I've still got a few more months before I need to censor myself, at least according to the books we read when you were pregnant"

"I still can't believe you read all those books I gave you" Erin said looking up at him from her spot on the floor.

Jay stopped chopping the vegetables to look at her as well "I didn't want to turn out like my Dad. So if that meant reading fourteen books on pregnancy and the first six to twelve months of your child's life and development, it's well worth it"

Jay looked back down at the chopping board in front of him, suddenly feeling extremely vulnerable. Erin placed Ben on his back on his play mat with the toys hanging from the foam bar above it to entertain him, and walked over to her partner.

"Hey" She spoke quietly as she placed her hand under his chin forcing him to look at her "You're the best father to our son that I could ever ask for. You kept him safe, you looked after him while I was gone. I may not know a lot about it, but I do know that you're nothing like your father Jay"

"Thank you" he said kissing her cheek "You're a pretty awesome mum too"

"I know" Erin smirked walking back over to their son.

Jay just shook his head and chuckled before focusing back on his dinner preparations.

…

"And dinner is served" Jay announced placing a plate in front of Erin on the rug. Ben was laying down contently on his mat, the dangling toys still offering him great amusement.

"Such a gentleman" she smiled taking a fork from him.

"Mama always taught me to treat a girl right" Jay said digging into his food.

"Apparently Mama's lessons on manners when eating didn't stick" Erin laughed seeing the gravy from the pie dribble down his chin.

Jay chuckled "She always used to get so mad at Will and I. She knew that this was our favourite meal of hers, but it always resulted in our clothes and most of the tablecloth being stained"

Erin smiled "You never really talk about your family"

"Neither do you" he said.

"Touché. I am trying though." Erin countered.

Jay sighed "I know. I guess I should try a little harder too, huh?"

Erin shrugged "It's a two-way street Jay. But I can't make you share something with me if you don't trust me enough to tell me about it"

"It's not that I don't trust you" He said placing his plate down "My family's a hard subject for me Erin. I have a lot of good memories, but most of them tainted in some way. My Mum died when I was on tour. I couldn't be there for her, I barely came back in time for her funeral. And my Dad has always been a jerk to me. We never saw eye to eye, especially when I enlisted"

Erin took the opportunity to ask her questions "Why was enlisting such an issue"

"Because Halstead men grow up to be doctors, not soldiers" He spoke bitterly "My Dad never could get over the fact that I wasn't following in his footsteps. And when Mama got sick … he blamed me for it. Said if I had been here she wouldn't have been so depressed, and stressed about me being over there"

"It's not your fault Jay"

"I know" He nodded "But my Dad just loved to blame me for everything. He didn't want to admit that my Mum withdrew from him long before I left, that it was his dickhead attitude that was the reason for their divorce, not me."

"I'm sorry"

Jay shook his head "It was a long time ago Erin"

They both sat in the silence. Their food growing cold and the awkwardness building again.

"Tell me a good memory?" She asked.

Jay was quiet still, she was beginning to think she had pushed him too far.

"When I enlisted, I was nineteen. I had always planned on it since the beginning of high school, she knew that. My Dad thought he could change my mind before then. So when I told them all that I was leaving in two months, no surprise my Dad called me a disgrace and then walked out the door. Will was upset, but he had expected it. My mum was the only one that had told me she was proud of me"

"She sounds like a wonderful woman." Erin added.

"She was" Jay said sadly "Anyways, Will said he had to get to a lecture and left about five minutes after I told him. Mama took me to the park we used to go to as kids. We just walked around and discussed my travel plan and what details my training advisor had given me. And then we sat down on a bench under this beautiful, old oak tree. It was her favourite" He choked on his words

"Jay you don't have to –" Erin started.

"I want to" He interjected "I can still remember every word she said to, like it was yesterday. We sat there on that bench for what felt like hours, not saying then a word. And then all of a sudden she whispered so softly I almost missed it. 'You were always meant for more Jay. I always said that I never had favourites between you and Will, and I didn't. But I always knew you were special, in such an extraordinary way. You're going to do great things with your life, meaningful things. And I'm so happy that I had the privilege of raising such a caring, sweet boy. You've made me more proud then I've ever been in my life'"

Those words had been burned into his memory since the day he heard them. They had gotten him through so many hard days, days that felt like they would never end. Cases that felt too painful to deal with. Heartbreak that felt like it could kill him. His mother had always been in his heart, she had always been with him. Guiding him.

"That's my favourite memory of all. Those words saved me time and time again Erin. They made feel like for once, I wasn't the disappointment, the screw-up. I spent my life being compared to Will by my Dad, but my mum never judged me. She was always there for me, no matter what. And that's all I've ever wanted for our son, it's why I fought so hard not to be like my Dad"

Erin could feel tears prick her eyes, tears that were already evident in Jay's. She reached out and held his hand. Squeezing gently, whispering softly "You will never be your father. I promise" before wrapping her arms around him tightly.

They stayed like that for a few moments, before Erin pulled away.

"Thank you" she whispered "for trusting me enough to tell me all that"

"I trust you Erin, infinitely" Jay said.

Erin blushed and looked down to the rug beneath them. No one had ever spoken so … emotionally to her. And she knew that he meant every word of it.

"I think our food's going cold" She spoke.

Jay looked down at their half eaten chicken pot pies and laughed "This isn't the best first date/makeup date I've ever done"

Erin smiled "Ben, Beers, Pie and You? I'd say it's a pretty good date. Even if I did have to wait two weeks for it"

Jay smiled back at her "Hey Erin?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you mention the date before?"

Erin shrugged and mumbled a quick "I dunno"

Jay gave her a pointed look and raised eyebrow, letting her know that he didn't believe it for a second.

"I guess I was nervous" She offered

Jay frowned "Of what?"

"I thought … maybe you forgot about our date?" she said "And I didn't want to remind you and feel like an idiot and have everything be awkward and –"

She was cut off from her nervous rambling by Jay's lips against hers. She sat shocked for a moment, before responding to his action. She brought her hands to comb through his short hair as his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her almost completely into his lap.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Both basking in the feeling that they had missed for so long.

Erin opened her eyes and caught a glimpse behind her, quickly pulling back. They both stayed in each other's embrace, fighting to gain their breaths.

"Jay?" She whispered breathlessly

"Yeah?" He smiled

"I think we're winning that bet" She smiled

Jay looked at her confused "Huh!?"

Jay followed her eyesight and looked behind him to see Ben on all fours, slowly moving one hand and foot together against the rug. Erin and Jay both smiled as they watched their son begin to crawl. He looked hesitantly at his parents, freezing in his spot.

"Come on buddy, come here!" Jay cheered as he and Erin both wave their hands at Ben, trying to encourage him to move towards them. Ben's eyes flicker between his hands below him and his parents. He smiled happily before crawling towards them, his hands slipping under the rug from time to time but he still gets back up and keeps going until he reaches Erin and Jay.

Jay scoops Ben up in his arms, peppering kisses on his face "You did so good buddy!"

Erin leaned over and kissed Ben's cheek, praising her son as he giggled contently in his father's arm. She looked up and saw Jay smiling at her.

"Jay. Why did you kiss me?" Jay frowns at her question "Not that I'm complaining, I just want to know why"

"For coming back to me"

Erin was silent for a few minutes before leaning in to place a quick but firm kiss on his lips.

"What was that for?" Jay asked when she pulled away.

Erin smiled "Because I wanted to kiss you"

A/N: So, I hope that was okay!? I really tried to put a lot in there and try and move their relationship forward. Just because they've kissed doesn't mean everything is all smooth sailing for them now. We've still got a lot coming!

As always, reviews are appreciated!

Maddie :)