Demons in my closet

Dad is seated with his head raised high and mom beside him trying to apologies for my behavior and icing his jaw.

"Son," mom calls softly and I can't ignore her call so I look her way. "you are young darling, some things you still don't get."

"Bullshit! He is a crappy dad and a crappy husband. I feel sick looking at him."

"Don't talk to your mother that way." He tries to silence me and I stand.

"You, don't tell me how to behave. I have been working my ass off all my life, thinking you are my hero, that I should be like you, I should learn how to dress like you learn to be a son you can be proud of…"

"So, you don't appreciate that I'm bisexual. My own son…" He is trying to intimidate me with the 'accept my sexuality' card now and I had to stop him right there.

"Don't pull that card on me James. That's bullshit and you know that. What you are is unfaithful. What mom has been all her life is faithful? She is even defending your ass right now as you sit there and be a pussy!"

"Logan!" mom warns.

"Bullshit!" I say on my way out. I cannot sit there and watch him disrespect mom and mom taking it?

I bump into mason on my way out. He smells like booze and looks worse than he smells.

"Watch it." I walk away fast. The sound of my engine revving is all that is left.

The communal fishing grounds where they do fishing sport at ksh. 2000/- is not that far from home and I feel like I could use some fish sport. The guard by the pond is thankfully not that hard to convince to let me in alone for as long as my anger lasts. That with a few thousands of course. It is easy for me, away from all the crap, everyone is full of shit and we refuse to see it each time.

My mind runs wild living in the scene I just saw and I keep convincing my head to lose the thought. I prefer to remember last night rather. Ryela, carefree, and her smile. The sudden urge to see her, to believe that all this will go away If I talked to her. That I will no longer feel this pain that's building up in my chest and my head will maybe stop echoing my dad's words that tell me how useless I am. It is stupid to think that he would be any proud of the achievement I have had, of the son I have become it is probably true what they say about him. He shitty to everyone and does include his family.

"Lary, some real bad shit went down man." I say the moment he receives the phone and says 'brother' on the other side.

"You alright?" he asks his voice genuinely worried.

"yes. I am alright, mom, not so much. I cannot just sit there and watch her pain. I hit him." I say still contemplating whether to feed the fish or kill them.

"What happened."

"Fuck. Where are you?"

"Class? Okay not anymore now that you called, I'm on my way home now."

"I'm at the fishing grounds."

"Go home Logan."

"I can't… call me when you there."

I get up with a resolution not to sit and reminisce my life with fish around me and a disgusting smell.

"Roses uuh" she jumps at my voice. "No Sunday vibes? Church maybe?"

"Logan?" her eyes widen with amazement. "What… How did you know where I live?"

She stops attending her flowers and moves fast to turn me around. "Logan, you can't be here. This is not my home, you cannot just show up!"

"Ouch. I was hoping for a better greeting like the romantic 'oh baby, you found me, lemme kiss you" he mimics and pouts. Rye chuckles.

"You crazy." She studies his face for a while. "Is everything alright?" Her tone changes to a more worried one and I want to just break down in her arms but I can't. I don't think I should.

"Yea, just a bit of a ruffle in here." I say pointing at my head. I don't want her thinking I am weak too. I smile weekly. "You aren't going to invite me in are you?" I say more certain of her answer than I try convincing my life.

"No." there it was, the answer I saw coming from miles away. "Buut, if you have the time, I can change into something more presentable and walk with you to wherever you want to go. It's your choice today."

I was not going to deny that chance. I look like crap but my selfish ass will definitely want her all dressed up, just so that I look good.

"Okay, wait here." She says after searching my face for an answer. I don't say anything. I prefer that she decides for herself if she actually wants to come with me. Snooping around the household, admiring the flowers that cover the area, I am a flowers person, maybe not so proud of it.

"lets go." She declares and I look back to see her smile in a 'kitenge' tennis skirt and a crop top, topping her look, she wore black Saturday sneakers and an anklet. Her braids are tied in a messy burn and two hang down her forehead, something I have never liked really. I love to see her face and those braids distract me all the damn time. She looks good though, like someone I would fall in love with if I was capable of love.

"Mi lady?" I stretch my hand out for her to lead in walking out and she rolls her eyes at me.

"TRM is our next destination. You said I could choose right?" I announce and I can catch a glimpse of her smiling.

"why TRM?" she asks still smiling and I know I have definitely picked the right one.

"Because it's probably not overpriced?" I laugh lightly at the thought of her complaining about how overpriced they sell a burger in the canteen at. A few minutes with her and she has already managed to make me smile.

"An aquarium?" she runs to touch the glass and jumps when a shark hits the glass close to her. She behaves like she hasn't had this experience before and apart from it being fascinating that she is excited, I can't help but wonder how it's possible to be so outgoing and naïve at the same time.

"Damn girl, you gotta take those things slow. They strangle you know?" as if she would. Mason has a capability below zero on things such as this. How do I know? I don't, she's telling me all of it by how her cheeks flash and her eyes turn away, afraid of what she thinks I mean by that. The bowling alley at TRM is not the best but, that, she doesn't know, she cannot even hold a bowling ball correctly? How does she swim in money but only know about the dirty Kenyan streets and making doughnuts for street children?