Preparing for what's to come
To want and desire so much more yet being horrified at the possible consequences at his own efforts, the boy finds himself in a paradox of his own soul. Despair made up from the conflicts that came about from a feeling of love so pure and beautiful. The boy has not merely continued to struggle but has become physically ill and mentally taxed beyond his limits, his love has grown to such unfathomable heights that his heart if aching terribly so.
The boy had promised to contain his feelings and see what might come of continuing as per usual yet seemingly an instant after his heart had become too fragile for is skyrocketing feelings, greater heights and greater desires. He can no longer control any of himself if himself were to exist at this point in time. To be incapable of living without acknowledgment from the other, dysfunctional and hardly alive, his heart becoming so incredibly fragile while conversely his feelings overflowing more so than before.
The boy doesn't simply desire more from the other but craves and needs the other in his entirety, yet to act on that despite it being a necessity for his survival could quite possibly result in the boy's end. To need an answer to his love but horrified at what that answer may be or what may result in his grasp for the ever so seemingly impossible existence of the other.
There's no longer anything that the boy, that I can do, no words I can magically conjure up and create to express this, how can I prepare for the moment i demand everything from him, what will it look like and what will come of this seemingly premeditated act of suicide. Simply put this may very well result in the death of the boy or at least his soul metaphorically speaking. It may very well be the end of everything, sure the boy holds no worry for losing the other but to lose his love, himself and possibly the natural form of their current connection would destroy the boys very existence.
What can I do, I crave you, I'm suffocating and turning blue, to have you is the only thing to sate my pain. I love you, please love me as I love you. I'm losing my sanity, what's the shape of my existence, a blur or intelligible concept without you, I no longer exist without your existence.
I'm lost and don't know what I can do to have you for myself. I'm losing my ability to think, I'm losing my grasp on reality. I'm too far gone, give the boy an answer for the love of God. Please, please, please, please create me or destroy me but regardless of your answer if it's at your hands I'll accept anything as long as it's actually something.
No no no not acceptable, please make me, create me and end me, tell me that you love me as I love you.
Tell me that you love me as I love you, I need you, I want to give you happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.
Love me and allow me to be your happiness.