Go to hell

It took an embarrassingly long time for Lucine to realize that looking around for a random girl in a place this big would be very difficult, even if she was a ginger. Soon enough, he was reduced to wandering around aimlessly, not achieving much of anything. Sure learning about humans in the library was interesting, but he was no closer to getting to the human world than he had been before.

He kicked a pebble, downheartedly sucking on his capri-sun. If only he could find Raifu. Then he could get that mirror and then…

And then what?

He still had no idea what the mirror had actually done, or if it had done anything. Lucina had certainly looked into it and hadn't swapped. But what else could have swapped him? That mirror was the only lead he had.

He slumped down on a bench, scrunching up the empty capri-sun in frustration. The bleak wind whipped at his face, as the sun shone down at him. It was gonna set soon. Sighing, he watched a group of kids playing in the nearby park.

Sitting apart from the rest of the pack, there was a single child, curiously poking at the ground with a stick.

And, unsurprisingly, she was Servum.

There was something strangely familiar about her, but everything felt strangely familiar, so he thought nothing of it. Chucking the capri-sun into the bin, Lucine walked over to the girl.

"You not friends with them or something?"

She looked up at Lucine, pouting. "They banished me from the kingdom cuz I'm a criminal."

"That wasn't very nice of them."

"Exactly!" she said, fuming. "And all I did was eat some chocolate!"

"Chocolate is tasty." Lucine agreed. "Why were they mad about you eating chocolate?"

"Cuz I stole it from the 'royal treasury'" she scowled. "They just made a circle out of sticks and put sweets in it!"

Well, at least they weren't racist.

"And," she continued. "They stole the necklace I was gonna give my brother for his birthday." She stabbed the ground with the stick. "I worked so hard to get it as well."

"Aww," Lucine said, patting her head. "Did you work and get enough money to buy it?"

"No," she said disgustedly. "I stole it."

Bruh.

"So you got the necklace you stole stolen from you and now you can't do anything about it."

"If you're just gonna tell me off for it, just leave me alone." She muttered.

Lucine got on his knees, so that he was level with the girl. "I'll help you get it back- wait," he held a finger up at the girl's excited face. "On the one condition that you won't steal again, and that you'll live a life full of integrity and composure. Deal?"

"Those are two conditions."

Lucine raised his eyebrows.

"Fine, deal!"

"Kay then," Lucine said, getting up. "Let's go get your necklace back."

"Wait!" The girl grabbed his arm, pulling him back down. "Are you just gonna go and take it? Do you even know where it is?"

"I'm sure I'll be able to find it."

"You can't do that! That's cheating!"

"Oh, go to hell. All you want is the necklace, right?"

"Go to hell?" The girl tilted his head curiously.

"Its- It's just a manner of speaking."

"Mhm. But if you just go and take it, it won't be fun and everyone will hate me for it."

"Jeez, alright. You shouldn't care about people hating you but OKAY." Coming from a loner who was universally hated in the human world. "What do you suggest I do then?"

"I haven't just been poking at the ground for nothing, you know." She smiled, tail wagging. "Look!"

Lucine looked at the ground he had been poking, and saw that there were crude drawings of people and some hieroglyphs which was her handwriting. Appalling.

"Is that a…an attack plan?" he said, disgusted.

She grinned, flashing her missing teeth. "Yes! This plan…" she said, shaking her stick at the floor. "Will lead us to victory!"

Lucine looked through the "plan", somehow managing to decipher what it was saying.

"You-uh- you think this will get you your necklace back?"

"My brother says you can do anything if you put your faith in Lucifer."

"I bet even he'll have a hard time rewarding your faith." Lucine frowned. "Your plan is basically just to cause a distraction and snatch the necklace. There's no way that's gonna work."

"But if we believe in Lucifer, we can do it! And you can help me too, so we can win!"

"What if I don't believe in Lucifer-"

"You won't go to hell then! And weren't you telling me I had to go to hell?"

"Okay, just forget I said that, alright? And you can't force your beliefs on other people. That's called oppression," he said, reflecting on the use of heaven instead of hell. "Anyways, this won't work no matter how you do it!"

"You haven't even tried it. How do you know?" She pouted, her tail stiff and fists clenched.

He sighed. Children are cute and all, but they sure are hard to deal with.

"Your plan MIGHT work," he said putting emphasis on might. "But, I've got a much better plan."

"Really?" she said, pouting, still sour from her own plan's dismissal. "What is it?"

Her pouting quickly turned into a grin as she heard what Lucine had to say.

***

The castle (monkey bars) loomed over her, as the incredulous eyes of the kingdom followed her walk to the throne (a pillow on the floor). On the pillow sat a boy draped in fine cloth (bathrobe) sipping from his ripened wine (grape juice). The boy standing next to him holding a spear (glorified stick) raised his eyebrows in a mock curiosity.

"So, the criminal has enough bravery to step into the castle of our King, with enough audacity to walk right in front of the one whom she has wronged?" His pitiful eyes fell on a boy glaring at the girl. Must have been his chocolate she ate.

"Nay, good sir, not audacity that drives my actions, but rather, valour!" She shouted.

"Valour? Uh-" The boy wasn't quite sure of what valour was, and decided to improvise. "What is this valour you speak of? All my eyes see is an exiled woman further disrespecting our king and Kingdom!"

"Valour, my good sir, in that I come from my banishment with news of a threat that is large enough to destroy our kingdom!"

Murmurs erupted, with various people shifting uncomfortably in undisguised disbelief.

"To destroy our kingdom? What is this new facade I must bear! Good knight, I ask that this woman is ushered out of our sanctuary," a girl cried from the crowds, with many further murmurs being testimony to how many people agreed with her.

"W-Wait! This is really important guys, it's actually bad!" she said, breaking character out of desperation. "If you don't listen to me, you'll be in a lot of trouble!"

The council broke out in shouts of anger and disparity, calling out for the heathen to be banished once again.

But the king put up his hand. And all went silent.

He sipped once more from his wine (grape juice) before speaking.

"I…I believe we should hear her out, e-even if she is a criminal, like, cause she's pretty...like pretty desperate! Not pretty a-as in, thingy, but like, she wants to…" He spluttered into silence, going beet red. Not knowing what to do, he drunk all his grape juice in a single gulp. He turned to her. "Speak, heathen! D-Don't test my patience too long."

She bowed. "Thank you." She turned to the rest of the kingdom. "In my long banishment, I have heard things that give me reason to believe that we will be attacked by a great force with little short notice…"

"Well? What is this great force that you speak of?"

Her eyes twinkled. "Please, don't be too shocked. The great force is…" She paused for dramatic effect. "A teenager!"

The entire council gasped, with a girl clutching her tail in horror. One boy even fainted.

"A t-t-teenager?" the knight spluttered, wings quivering. "Surely you jest? What would a teenager want to do in our lands?"

"I dunno. But it's right there."

Everyone whipped around, eyes falling on Lucine, who stood awkwardly infront of the castle.

"…"

"…"

"Roar?"

The children descended into anarchy, with the knight and king desperately trying to keep control.

"Quick!" The girl called out. "Hand me the Sword That Seals the Evil Teenager!"

Under normal circumstances, the knight would have never handed such a precious weapon to anyone, let alone a criminal, but these weren't normal circumstances. He handed it to her with shaky hands, and she ran forward, holding the Sword That Seals the Evil Teenager with tight hands.

She stood infront of Lucine, clutching a bigger than average stick.

"You think someone as…small… as you can defeat me, someone who is…clearly-uh, bigger, than you?" Lucine was about to die of embarrassment.

She brandished the Sword That Seals the Evil Teenager. "Size doesn't matter! You have to learn to look past that and look at the heart! And my heart is that of a hero!"

"Alhie u stained that necklace and munched on some chocolate that wasn't yours. Since when is that-"

But his words fell on deaf ears, as she ran forward with the Sword That Seals the Evil Teenager.

How far would the girl go for the plan? Very far.

She rammed a fist into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him, and bringing him to his knees.

"aUGh, good mother of goD" he gasped "WAIT NO STO-"

"Go to hell."

She brought the Sword That Seals the Evil Teenager down on him, striking again and again until Lucine was nothing but a pile of groaning Evil Teenager on the floor. She stood over, wiping sweat from her forehead.

Her tail wagged in joy as she turned back to address the rest of the cowering Kingdom.

"Guys, it's okay. I defeated it!"

The children came rushing out of their hiding places, all crying out praises for the girl. They huddled around her, all talking about how amazing her defeat of the Evil Teenager was. The King stayed back though, holding the bathrobe around him as he talked to the knight. The Knight grinned, and shoved the King towards the girl, barely containing his laughter as the bright red boy tried to find the words to say.

"Uh-so-ahem…n-noble citi-citizen…" He spluttered himself into silence once again, gathering the courage to speak. "You-! You did okay, fighting the Evil Teenager so-" He thrust out the necklace at her "Here!"

The girl snorted at the sight, and took the necklace, bowing. "Thank you, my lord."

"W-whatever!" He stormed off, trying to strangle the cackling Knight with the bathrobe. The rest of the crowd celebrated with the Hero.

Since the sun had begun to set, a lot of the children went home, carefully stepping around the groaning Lucine, talking about who would be king next, and if it should be called a queendom if it was a girl. Ah, to be a child again.

Once everyone had left, the girl went back to Lucine.

"Thanks for your help. Everyone's calling me a hero now! There's no way I'm not gonna be the Queen next time, and if not, I'll probably be someone high ranking like the knight!"

Lucine sat up, wincing. "Yeah, you're welcome. Was it in the plan to go so hard though?"

"It had to be convincing! I had to go that hard, else they would have been suspicious!" she insisted, tail wagging in assertion.

"Fine, fine." Lucine gasped, touching his bruised sides. "God, I hate this place so much. I've just been getting punched left and right ever since I got here."

The girl laughed nervously. "At least we got the necklace back. Mission accomplished!" She held it close to her chest "Dante'll love this so much!"

Lucine turned to look at her, eyes wide. "My-who'll love it?"

"My brother will!"

"Who's- What's your brother's name?"

"Dante!"

That's why she looked familiar.

"That's a-uh- "Lucine stopped, trying to find the right words. "A pleasant surprise, I guess. What's your name?"

She held out her hand. "Celeste Dabaso! Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Lucine was appalled that an 8 year old would know how to speak so poshly and still be delinquacious enough to steal a necklace. Guess this wasn't Britain for nothing. He sighed, shaking her hand.

A breeze rushed past them, and heard a giggle in the wind. He jumped to his feet, regretting his choice as his bruises cried out, and whipped around.

His yellow eyes locked with her guilty blank white eyes.

He had finally found the ginger.

"Hey!" Celeste said, indignant. "You didn't tell me your name!"

"My name…" He signaled to the giggling Raifu to stay put. "…Is Lucine Fastus, and I have a plot to advance."

He limped away as fast as he could, a lame way to follow up that one liner.

"Oh yeah, you can get home alone fine right?"

"'Course I can! But one more thing."

Lucine turned round to look at her. Her black eyes twinkled in the evening sun.

"Thank you, Lucine!" She smiled widely, showing off her two missing teeth. "I had a lot of fun today."

Despite the damage he had endured at her hand, he decided that dealing with kids wasn't as troublesome as he had thought.

"RAIFU DON'T YOU DARE BLOODY MOVE FROM THERE."

"I'M SORRY"