Chapter58: bloody truth.

"So Alex, why are you fighting with your girl? She's a good one you know, she suits you very well."Melissa said smiling at Alex.

"It's not a fight Meli, she and I are good. I just need her to realise something important. Can we drop this. I don't want to talk about this anymore."Alex said dismissing the topic.

Melissa looked at Alex seriously and put her drink down on the desk."I'm really sorry Alex, about yesterday. I didn't really mean that. I was just stressed about work and then you were giving me this work to watch over your grown girlfriend. I know I shouldn't complain because you too don't complain when I ask you to do favours for me. But those are different from this Alex. Kimberly is a grown woman who can take care of herself okay. I also have to do other things you know. I know you are scared of anything happening to her. You have done that a lot. Getting scared. You are always paranoid with me too. I'm not a kid anymore Alex and neither is she. I've watched you harden my life and restrain it just because you are scared of anything happening to me. You can't do that to her too because it sucks."she said and Alex just nodded. She waited for him to say something but he didn't."aren't you gonna say something?"she asked.

"What to say? I have a lot to say to you. Today I told Kimberly about the incidence."he said and he drunk the remaining whiskey in his glass then he added another from the bottle that Melissa was drinking from.

"Really? You never talk about what happened. Even when you were taken for psychiatry sessions when we were younger you never talked."Melissa said shocked.

"Yeah, I know. So I told her and then I realized something. That we have never talked about that with you. I have never known how you feel about that. Now I want to know."Alex told his sister.

Melissa looked at Alex for a while and then parted his lips to say something."it's been two decades Alex, why are you asking this now?"Melissa asked.

"I was afraid, really afraid."he replied.

"Why would you be afraid Alex. I'm your sister. Why would I say something that's gonna hurt you?"Melissa asked in a low voice that was more of a whisper.

"Now, that's the problem. You are always afraid of telling me the truth in fear of hurting me. You say the nice things to cover the bad things which apparently is the bloody truth."he said chuckling. 

"I'm really sorry Alex, that you think everyone blames you. But I really don't blame you. Shit happens and it probably happened to Lexi. There was nothing we could do. Neither you nor her could have done anything to prevent it. It was her fate." Melissa said.

"You have said that for years Meli. But what you said yesterday made me really think that there's something you don't really tell me. I can handle it whatever it is."Alex said. Melissa didn't talk to Alex and they stayed in silence for a while.

"Okay then Alex, if you really want to do this then, fine, let's do this."Melissa said and Alex heart started beating faster preparing for the truth." I really hate it when all you have done all this years is blame yourself Alex. You have never done anything with yourself and in everything you do, you do it in the name of Lexi. When are you gonna let everything go huuh? You are a man now who is supposed to be making his own legacy for your future generations. What are you gonna give them huuh? The legacy that you build for Lexi who is dead? She's dead Alex, dead. I know it hurts everyday because I do hurt too. But that shouldn't prevent you from moving on. You gotta start making something for yourself. Now you have a girlfriend, who by the way I can see becoming your wife soon. She may not tell you this now because she's still sympathising with you, but as time goes she will soon see that you have never done anything with your life. You live for her but she's dead and you are alive. So live for you not for her because no matter what you do, she will still be dead. All you can do is make something to remember her and you have done more than enough."Melissa finished talking and she was out of breath. Alex just hung his head down.

"It's not easy Meli."that's all Alex said.

"What's not easy Alex, to move on? It's been more than twenty years and you still can't move on? You are starting to have more responsibilities. Are you telling me that you are gonna neglect your responsibility to cater for that of your dead sister  who by the way is in heaven or wherever she's is watching you waste your life. Damnit Alex, you have had twenty years of grief and you need more? You know what, I have said all I had to. It's up to you to do whatever you think is good for and your future. People may think that you are a billionaire right now but you are not. You are just some broke ass man who had had nothing in his life because he wasted it all. And please, stop with the I live for two people. You are so smart but selfblame has always made you look like a fool. Now, get your head in the fucking game and do something for yourself." Melissa said then she took the bottle of whiskey that was now quarter and left with it banging the door really hard.

Alex was left sitted there looking like a fool. A tear dropped on his cheeks but he didn't make any effort to wipe it. He kept thinking about what Melissa said and everything she said was right to the point. He has wasted his life doing nothing other than make a legacy for her dead sister. He had nothing for himself. It's like everything he had now was his sister's and not his. He grew up doing everything for Lexi and nothing for himself. Starting with his education, he wanted to be the best because Lexi would have been the best if she was alive. Then the Lexi Cop, he started it from scratch and now he had to make it a success for her because she would have made a great company if she was alive and so many things. He was so lost and angry right now and all he wanted to do was to trash and break everything in the room. 

He threw the glass he was holding that he used to drink his drink with to the wall and it broke in pieces. He then stood up and threw everything on the desk away and then he took the chair he had sat on and threw it to the ground. He hated being angry but right now all he wanted to do was vent his anger in this room. He found where he puts his drinks in the study. He wanted to break all the bottles but he didn't.

He took one of the bottle and started drinking. His mind was in a rollercoaster right now. He drunk the first bottle then the next and the next and the trend continued. Right now he didn't care about anything except drink his pain, his sorrows, his regrets. He wanted to go wild today. He's been burrying everything and right now he wanted everything to be all out.