Chapter 15 (Hope Lost)

Chapter 15: Hope Lost

Leah Souixer

July, 2023

14 months after outbreak

Nebraska

Season 2

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"So why'd you agree to come?" Khai asked as we were searching for supplies in an old warehouse. This was one of the only places for miles with shit still in it, but all of the shit was nothing we needed.

"I needed a break from being in there." I replied, gesturing towards the direction we came from. "Being cooped up in that place was suffocating."

"Same, before I thought I would never be able to get over how many people were there. I thought I'd want to go to every party, every social gathering, every meeting, but now all I want to do is stay locked in my room and play Uno with myself."

"That's impossible."

"Exactly." There really wasn't much in the warehouse—a few dead ones, but there was enough that we wouldn't be coming back empty handed. Even if it wasn't the important stuff like ammo or medical supplies we were hoping for.

"You're such a big fan of Ethan, I don't get it. You used to be a big fan of me."

"I'm not picking sides, Leah. I see both of you as family because you are. I don't like that Ethan and you fight so much, and I don't like that you hate him, but that doesn't mean I'm picking a side."

"He messed your life up too. He got Connor killed, and we both know what he did to Calvin."

"Calvin deserved what he got. I know it seems like I just don't wanna wrap my head around murder, but Calvin would have done a lot worse if Ethan hadn't taken care of him. And you can't be serious about Connor; what happened to him was no one's fault, no matter how you tell the story. You have to stop putting everything on Ethan; it's not fair."

"Have you seen Camila?" I sighed as I closed my bag. Khai looked behind herself and around the room.

"No, she was just here. I'd call for her, but that'd be a waste of time; she wouldn't answer. She's probably around here somewhere." We looked around the inside of the building, but she was nowhere to be seen. I couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. Camila's sudden disappearance was out of character for her. She always kept to herself, but she never wandered off alone like this before. I couldn't shake off the nagging feeling that something wasn't right.

"Camila!" Khai yelled. There was no response. "Maybe she went outside?" We opened the door to the back entrance. We saw her running down the street with blood pouring out of her wrists. We could tell she didn't want to be followed. I wouldn't admit it to Khai, but I couldn't bring myself to not blame Ethan. He drove her away because he didn't care enough to try to help, and now she was going to die because of him. It filled me with so much anger. I wanted that man dead for everything he'd done to us and for everything he hasn't done. In my last breath, I promise I will put a bullet through his heart. The only reason he isn't dead now is because, unlike him, I won't let myself live with being a murderer to people who don't deserve it.

Khai and I left to go back home earlier than expected. Khai wanted to go look for her, but I didn't think it was a good idea. She made her choice; it was my chance to prove to Ethan what he was doing. Neither of us said anything as we drove back. Our eyes stayed directly on the road in front of us. We were nervous because we didn't want to see Camila. I have no idea where she was, but she was probably dead by now.

Khai dug an empty grave for her in the back of Loveland, next to the people that others had' lost. I used to leave flowers whenever I could. I was jealous of her for having the courage to escape. I knew if I tried to, one way or another, I'd come crawling back, and I have no idea what these people would do to me then. After all the shit I've said, they'd probably use me as bait in a trap for the dead ones.