Chapter 10 - A Mother’S Feelings

My life has not been smooth sailing so far.

I got a lot of confessions when I was at school.

It sounds good to hear, but I had a lot of jealousy and envy from the girls, and to be honest, confessions from the boys were nothing but troublesome.

The turning point came when I was a university student. I met my husband, who was in the same department with me, and as we talked more often, I gradually became aware of him, who was different from the men I had met before. He confessed his feelings for me and we started dating, got married and had Eri.

Eri was born and happy times followed, but in middle school it happened.

Eri was bullied.

Eri always had a cheerful smile on her face because she didn't want to worry me and my husband.

Now, in hindsight, Eri's smile seemed painfully sorrowful, and even now I keep blaming myself. Why couldn't I have realized it earlier and helped her? Why didn't I pay more attention to her? Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why…

After Eri started isolating herself in her room, perhaps because she had always liked my husband, she started engaging in conversations with him, including me.

As we continued talking, I could see Eri gradually recovering, and it was at that point when my husband died. It was a traffic accident.

There was nothing that could be done. The doctor said he died instantly.

It felt like my feet were collapsing.

I realized that everything I had built up was crumbling away. The world in front of me turned pitch black. I didn't want to hear anything. I didn't want to talk about anything. I didn't want to do anything. Why, why, why, why, why, why…

I hated everything. It was unbearable. I felt like I was starting to despise everything.

Even when I look at my husband's memorial photo, it doesn't feel right. It's different. Even during the bone-picking ceremony after the cremation…

These are not his remains. They're not! There must be some kind of mistake!

But I couldn't help but burst into tears.

At that time…

"Dad."

That's right, Eri murmured next to me.

There was no reflection in her eyes. There were no tears. It was pitch black and dark.

I hugged Eri and cried.

I have to be strong.

I have to work hard.

And so my battle began.

I kept a diary.

Conversation with Eri was initially difficult, and it was challenging to find things to talk about. However, with persistence, she gradually started responding with at least a "good morning."

During a period when I was taking a break, my friends put in efforts and collaborated, and our cosmetic brand, which we started during our school days, gradually started gaining traction.

Gradually, I began to write more and more.

One day, Eri came out of her room and asked me for a favor.

Apparently, she wanted to start live-streaming.

I wanted to support what Eri wanted to do, so I had all the equipment prepared.

We didn't have much conversation, but I was happy that Eri had found something she wanted to do.

I wrote in my diary every single day.

Just as the second diary was about to end, another incident occurred.

One day, I got a phone call out of the blue.

I had a bad feeling about this, and when I answered the phone, it was the police informing me that there had been a robbery.

I hurried home and rushed to Eri's room.

"Eri!!!!"

Eri was holding her chest in the middle of the room.

"Does your chest hurt? Are you okay? Did you have any injuries?"

"It's okay. More importantly, I…"

"What's wrong? Does it hurt somewhere?"

Eri shook her head in denial.

"I want to see that man again."

"That man?"

It seems that there was someone who protected Eri and this house.

I don't know what he looked like, but I really wanted to thank him for protecting her.

And it wasn't long before I met him.

After talking to the police and returning, I found Eri, who had followed me, saying, "Maybe that person might be here," and I saw her talking to someone unfamiliar.

That's right, it was Yukishiro-kun.

When I started talking to him, I realized that he was kind, well-mannered, and cheerful—almost like my husband.

When was the last time I saw Eri talk to someone like that? How many years has it been since I saw her smile like that?

I was happy from the bottom of my heart.

If it's this man, then maybe he could help…

With a once-in-a-lifetime determination, I made a request to him.

Then he looked at me with strong-willed eyes and yet, with a smile, he said, "…I understand."

That alone would have made me happy, but…

"It might be rude or unnecessary, but…"

"Eh?"

No, stop…

"I don't think it was only Eri-chan who had a hard time. After her father passed away, Miho-san must've had a hard time with Eri-chan… That's why I want to help Miho-san as much as I can!"

Don't…

"..."

"Although I'm just a child and the things I can do might be limited, I'll do my best to help. You can vent to me or rely on me during tough times. Please feel free to lean on me."

My tears will spill… I have to be a strong mother… I have to try my best. I… I…

"…Huuu, sobs, sobs … Hua…"

His chest was warm.

I had the feeling that the burdens I had been feeling all this time were slipping away.

Yukishiro-kun, only for this moment, I can take a break, right?