The End of Fall

   I entered the fall semester with high hopes for a new beginning, hoping to turn things around. After my breakdown at "World Japan", I wanted nothing more than to get things back on track. But little did I know that things were about to get way more complicated, especially with new people joining my group of friends. Everything was fine at first, I met new people and was happy for a little bit. But then, things kinda went down fast. I met this girl named chelly, she's a curvy white girl with braces who I honestly found hard to get along with at first. She came off as kind of abrasive and it was honestly irritating. Eventually though, I got to know her and understand her a lot better. And after some time, I began to develop feelings for her. After seeing how much we had in common, and finally finding someone who understands how I feel.

    The only problem was that she was starting to get close to my friend jeffy who I mentioned before, so in the end I decided to keep my mouth shut. Honestly, it felt like a losing battle. I began to feel like I was sinking  into despair, which I know sounds dumb to most people. But understand this, even though I'm a guy. I've been in touch with my emotions way more than most guys my age, and on top of that I'm straight as an arrow. So in the past, I got made fun of a lot just cause of my personality. And It has always left my head in a whirlwind of emotions, I've always felt alone. Not to mention that finding a relationship was damn near impossible. I never know who to trust or who I can lean on, and I'll admit it. In the past I've taken some people for granite, but understand that due to my past. It's hard for me to trust people, so occasionally that'll happen.

   I honestly thought that my friends would understand that, but instead of trying to understand. They usually just ignore me and not care about how I feel, they tell me to get over myself and stop being depressed. Despite the fact that I've mentioned several times in the past that I have depression and It's really hard for me to control. After spending two years with my friends, I honestly thought that they would really understand me better and be there when I need them. But with friends like this, I've never felt more alone in my entire life.