9. Chapter 9

AN: Just letting you guys know that I have a tumblr, siegeperil. I've never really done anything with the blog in the past, but if you guys want to shoot me questions about my stories or whatever, feel free to do so. Maybe I'll start posting updates on there, I'm not entirely sure yet. *shrug*. Anyway, on with the update.

Sam flitted around a darkened room, like a hummingbird in flight. She glanced at her phone, and growled in irritation. There wasn't enough time. But then again, there was never going to be enough time. Everything had to be absolutely perfect, and unfortunately, reality seemed to revel in how imperfect it often was. Still, she persisted. Straighten that table, buff that patch of floor…

RAP RAP RAP

Sam had a brief moment of panic before realizing that the knocking was actually coming from the back door, and eagerly ran to answer it.

"Pasta Man. Got your delivery right here, Mrs…Loud?"

Sam smiled. It was perfect.

"You…uh…you alright, miss?

Sometime later, Sam found herself feeling a lot more confident about her plan. Not The Plan, that would come later, but this particular plan was an important stepping stone nevertheless.

These premises were less than ideal, but serviceable for her purposes. The kitchen was prepped and ready to go, and she'd even managed to chase away that pack of wild dogs that had been hanging around. All that was left was her disguise. A pillow for some padding, a bald cap to conceal her distinctive blonde hair, and the piece de resistance, the most expensive and convincing mustache that she could afford with the remainder of her funds. All that was left...

RAP RAP RAP

A grin erupted across her face. Front door this time. That, would be the appetizer. And, if things went as well as she'd hoped...dessert. Phase one was go, all she needed was to send one quick text.

Luna Loud appraised the building before her with a critical eye. A glance at her phone informed her that this was, in fact, the address she was looking for, but the facade, darkened and dilapidated with age, suggested otherwise. The loudest Loud was seriously considering retreating a safe distance up the street when suddenly, the door burst open, startling her.

"Buongiorno!" Called out an…individual, in greeting.

Luna felt confused. Her eyes were telling her that she was being greeted by a small, and rather rotund Italian(?) man. He wore a teal vest over a white, long sleeved shirt, and wore an apron around his prominent midsection. The ensemble, taken as a whole, simply screamed "restaurateur". Her brain, however, was picking out little inconsistencies in that conclusion. Perhaps it was the way that his scalp failed to meet the rest of his head in a way that seemed natural. It's possible it might have been the way that his belly fat was oddly centralized in the region covered by his apron. It also could have been his strangely high-pitched voice, or the way his, admittedly handsome mustache, sat askew at a 30-degree angle. Whatever the reason, something about the individual before her didn't quite sit right with her.

And yet, there was something about the man's eyes that bade her to trust him. Thus, lacking anything more convincing than objective, irrefutable, easily observable facts, Luna responded.

"Um…hi" She said awkwardly, fumbling with her phone. "Is this the…Bueno…Nacho?"

"The Bella Notte", he admonished her firmly, albeit kindly.

"Right." She replied, taking a puzzled glance at her phone. "Must be auto-correct. I think I'm supposed to be meeting someone here."

"Ah, yes! Yes! Come right this way!" The man replied. He quickly slammed the door behind him, put his hands around her shoulders and began gently shoving her towards the side of the building.

"Woah, woah!" Luna protested "Where are we going?"

In response, a sudden cacophony of noises erupted from the inside of the building.

"As you can see, principessa, we are very busy right now. But don't you worry, I have a very special table set aside for you on the patio."

Luna opened her mouth to reply, when the man redoubled his efforts, causing the world to blur around her as he speedily guided her around the side of the building. The trip was mercifully short, and when her vision cleared, she found herself standing in a small area to the side of the main restaurant.

Her new surroundings were modest, but quaint. A table, and some chairs. A few candles for mood lighting, and a considerable amount of solitude, tucked, as it was, away from the hustle and bustle of the nearby streets. All things considered, it was a rather lovely location for a romantic meal, picturesque even.

At least, it would have been, had it not been for the young, pale-haired boy sitting at the table, happily stuffing his face with bread-sticks.

Sam couldn't have been happier. Everything was going exactly as planned. More or less, anyway.

"Hey, Luna!" Lincoln called out, reaching for another handful of bread.

Luna's mouth swung open like a rusty drawbridge, and she raised one finger as if preparing to put forth a question of some sort, but nothing was forthcoming. After this had gone on for a few seconds, Sam took it upon herself to pull out a chair for her girlfriend, and gently push her down into the seat. Fortunately, the sudden movement was enough to awaken Luna from her stupor.

"Lincoln?" Luna asked, blinking in puzzlement.

"Yep", he responded through another mouthful of bread. "These are great, you should try some."

"Yeah…sure" she murmured, absentmindedly grabbing some bread for herself.

Sam pushed down the brief surge of glee than was threatening to spring forth, and busied herself with straightening up the table, doing her best to stay out of the way of her favorite siblings.

"So what...uh, what are you doing here, little bro?"

"Sam told me to come down." He replied, shrugging. "She said it was super important. But so far she's been a no-show."

"Really? That's, funny, I was supposed to…wait, when did you give Sam your number?"

"See that's the thing, I'm pretty sure I didn't."

"OKAY!" Sam shouted, desperately trying to prevent the conversation from going down an unnecessary path.

"Now", she said, pulling a pencil and notepad from within her vest, "What can I get for the lovely couple?"

"We haven't seen any menus." Lincoln reminded her.

"We're not actually a…" Luna began interjecting, at the same time.

"Excellent choice" Sam exclaimed in desperation, "I'll be right back with your order!" With that, she dashed away, leaving the befuddled pair to their own devices.

Sam bustled around the kitchen, occasionally allowing herself to steal a glance out the window at her favorite couple. Things had gotten off to a bit of a rocky start, but it seemed like they were back on track. Lincoln was talking animatedly, gesturing emphatically with his hands, while Luna looked on. She didn't say much, but her quiet smile and relaxed demeanor indicated that she was enjoying herself.

"And that's why we should get married." Lincoln was clearly saying.

"Of course, I'll marry you, Lincoln" said Luna. "But then we also have to get married to Sam."

"Get married to a smoking-hot blonde who we can use as the meat in our sexy sibling sandwich? Of course!" Lincoln replied, as he playfully waggling a bread-stick at his intended. "Besides, we're going to need help eating all the waffles I'm going to make!"

Sam shoved her face into her disguise-pillow, using the cushion to muffle her squeals of delight. However, the beeping of her kitchen timer reminded Sam that there was still work that needed to be done. She took several deep breaths to steady herself, then set about putting the final touches on her very special dish.

"Sorry for the wait, but here you go. One Lover's Special!"

"We're still not actually a…"

"Wow! That looks awesome!"

Sam allowed herself to preen a little at the younger Loud's praise. The dish in question was a rather large plate of spaghetti, drenched with rich, crimson sauce, and littered with meatballs of various shapes and sizes.

"I don't think I'm really all that…" Luna trailed off mid-protest as her stomach began to rumble. Sam didn't blame her, the aroma produced by the intermingling of the sauce and meat scents, spiced with he copious amounts of romance in the air, was utterly intoxicating. Exactly as planned.

"Come on, Lu", Lincoln said, picking up his fork and eyeing the platter eagerly. "I've never seen spaghetti that looked this good before."

"I would absolutely marry a girl who could cook like this", Sam mentally interjected on his behalf, fighting down the grin that threatened to explode out of her. She felt a slight twinge of guilt afterwards. Sam herself was no great chef, most of the meal had actually been prepared in advance by more competent hands, with her role largely being to reconstruct the pre-prepared portions. But she consoled herself with the thought that this was something the three of them could learn properly someday. Together. Her jaw ached, ever so slightly.

"I-I guess." Luna said reluctantly, though the gleam in her eyes betrayed her own eagerness. She picked up her own fork, and began searching the pile for an appropriate starting point.

"Allow me." Sam said. With a practiced ease, she commandeered the fork of each Loud, scooped up an innocuous portion of pasta into each utensil, and shove them into the pair's mouths in a single fluid motion. Luna looked like she was going to protest the treatment, when suddenly her eyes lit up in delight, and she began eagerly slurping down the meal, her brother only scant seconds ahead of her.

"Bon appetite." Sam said, allowing herself a smile as she slipped away from the table.

The penultimate phase of her plan was complete. Sam had searched high and low for the best sauce she could find. It appeared she had succeeded, and the medley of flavors dancing across Luna and Lincoln's pallets seemed to be sufficient to distract the Louds from the fact that what appeared to be a large pile of spaghetti was, in fact, merely one large, specially made, continuous noodle.

The plan was simple. Driven by their hunger and desire, the pair would devour the meal in front of them, consuming inch after inch of the delectable, sauce and meat-laden noodle until there was nothing left. At which point, simple physics would ensure that the disappearance of the last bit of noodle would also serve to unite the lips of the young, eager, soon-to-be lovers in an impromptu kiss. Then their instincts would take over, resulting in a passionate make-out session (which Sam would take many pictures of). And if things just so happened to progress further than that, she'd break out the air mattress she'd prepared for just such an occasion.

Sam crept back inside the restaurant to retrieve the final component for her plan, a worn, but well-maintained accordion. Luna and Lincoln were nearly there, she could feel it. All they needed was one last push.

Soft romantic music began to fill the dining area as Sam's fingers danced expertly along the accordion keys, and she began to sing.

"Oh, this is the night, it's a beautiful night

And we call it bella notte"

The siblings briefly paused their meal to glance up at each other in mutual puzzlement.

"Look at the skies, they have stars in their eyes

On this lovely bella notte"

Their eyes met, and the pair sat like that for a time, locked in each other's gaze.

"Side by side with your loved one

You'll find enchantment here"

Slowly but surely, smiles began creeping onto the couple's faces, the barest hint of luminescence spreading across their freckled cheeks.

"The night will weave its magic spell

When the one you love is near"

Their hands, so very far apart initially, began creeping across the table towards one another. Hesitant at first, but gaining confidence as the inches between them rapidly disappeared.

"Oh, this is the night and the heavens are right

On this lovely bella notte"

And that was when the dogs showed up.

Lincoln and Luna Loud sat in a mild daze, trying to parse out what had just happened. One minute they'd been enjoying a lovely, if strangely emotionally charged meal of spaghetti, and on the next, their table was suddenly in disarray. Forks scattered about, candles smoldering on the ground, and most noteworthy of all, the platter they'd been sharing was suddenly vacant.

A gentle breeze blew through the dining area, bringing refreshment, as well as the sound of sounds of paws beating against the ground, and the barks and grows of the local wildlife.

"BRING BACK MY NOODLE, YOU DING-DANG DOGS!", a voice screeched off in the distance.

Lincoln cleared his throat awkwardly, unaware as to why he was suddenly feeling so embarrassed.

"So…" he began. "I guess this…thing, here, is kind of shot. But I saw a pretty nice looking ice cream place on my way over here."

He hesitated, ever so slightly. "Do you wanna check it out?"

Luna smiled, trying to ignore the heat in her own cheeks.

"I'd like that, little bro."