Crisis of Lust

I was never this confused in my entire life as much I was now. I took my beer and emptied the bottle into my mouth in hope that my mind will finally be quiet for some time.

"You alright?" he asked, concerned. I looked at him and felt my eyes were no longer in my control anymore. He knew I was drunk so he held me with a tight grip which I tried to loosen but each time I struggled to move away from him, he grabbed me even strongly.

I began pushing him away with some force as I was not liking the mystery and I didn't want to end up in a situationship as always.

"Let me go!" I kept repeating before he grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the exit. I tried to break away but his grip was ever stronger which was a turn-on in itself. We got out of the party room and walked to the balcony area which was quieter and windy.

"Now tell me! What's wrong?" he asked. I was confused as I didn't understand why he was so concerned about how someone was behaving who he knew only for about two hours. I shook my head to clear my head as I was as confused as I ever could be.

"I don't know! I hardly know you, and I don't know why but I feel scared to get close to you." I said in one breath, but then I noticed his lips which were like some kind of a magnet, and I was being pulled so hard. He lets out a sigh, and in a swift motion, he cups my face and kisses me making my heartbeat go flatlined for a minute.

We pulled away when we heard Michael and Carol laughing and talking standing close to us. It was pretty embarrassing, so I thought this was the moment to just go home. I knew Dylan wouldn't let me go, or neither would any of them if I told them.

"How long have you guys been standing there?" Dylan asked Michael and Carol. They giggled like teenage kids, and Carol answered, "we were here the whole time, you guys were just too occupied so, didn't want to interrupt."

My head laid low with embarrassment as I knew I was making a fool of myself, like always. "Okay, guys, I will be back in a minute," I said as I took a step back. "Where are you going?" Dylan asked.

"Just to the restroom." As I knew he would follow me if I said any place else. He nods and smiles at me as if he was saying that I was the most precious person for him in the world, which made me even more scared so, I turned around, and as soon as I was out of their sight, I took the elevator down and booked a cab home as soon as I reached downstairs.

I got into my cab, but my heart still ached for the fact that I wanted to be with him all night. But I can't give in to lust any longer. I know it hardly ever leads me anywhere considering what I want in a person.

Sitting in the car, my brain cruelly replayed Carol's words when she said that these men never look for anything more than sex, and those heated moments with him which kept me from giving myself any hope for anything that I hoped for. It was best for me to just let this go and go on with my life.

I reached my apartment at around 11:55 PM, just before midnight, but this ain't any fairy tale. I quickly changed into my pajamas and hopped into my bed pushing all the memories of the night aside to drift into my comfortable, peace-filled sleep.

My eyes were just shut for a minute that all the silence in the room gave away an incessant vibrating sound through the room.

I got up instantly and checked for my wallet, I got down from my bed looking for it all around the room. I followed the sound finally and arrived inside my washroom and there it was on the sink.

I took my phone out of the wallet and saw "26 missed calls" and I instantly knew who that might be. I called back the first number in the missed call section without even having to check the name, the call connected almost like in the second ring and I was surprised to hear the voice that came from the other side.

"You left without saying a word?" my head was heavy and my feet felt unusually heavy, so stepped out of the washroom and sat on the bed not knowing how to respond.

"I am sorry, I thought this was Carol's number," I responded coldly. "Are you okay, Megan?" I took a deep breath without knowing how to respond to this man. "I don't know what impression you have of me, I am not gonna sleep with you just if that's what you're looking for!"

My head was hurting bad but I felt good that I at least stood my ground this time. "Oh! I am sorry if that's what you understood from my behavior. I apologize." He paused for a moment where I took some moment of silence. "I don't want to come out wrong but I needed a favor from you and I promise you, this is nothing sexual."

Now, this was surprising, what favor could a man ask a woman which didn't involve sex? "What is that?" I asked, at that point, my curiosity almost tipped off my cup and I had to know what he was looking for. Maybe this could answer what he meant about his relationship status.

"I can't tell you over the phone, this is important and I need to see you. Tomorrow night sounds good?" I knew for a fact that he was those type of men who were dominant in bed and wanted the woman to take them like a kitten. I thought for a second and answered, "okay, but where?". "I will text you the details," he said and disconnected the call to my surprise.

I threw my phone off to the bed and laid into the bed thinking of all the possibilities of what he might be going to say. What could be this favor all about?

I heard the notifications go off on my phone which made me turn over and pick it up again. They were from Instagram and it said that all my pictures and my profile had been followed and liked by Dr. Dylan Hill, I blushed looking at my phone screen but I was still unsure what to make out of all this yet and I controlled myself again to keep myself from expecting too much and then having my heartbroken.

The screen blinks for a moment and lights up with the most dreaded call that I would give my life to not pick up but, of course, I had to.

"Oh, you are so dead! How could you just leave like that?" Carol shouted into the phone. I was about to give her my reason but like always she had to preach to me before she could hear anything from me. "Do you know how worried everyone was? We looked for you everywhere? And Dylan! He was worried. Why do you do this, Megan? Not cool at all!"

I let out a deep sigh before saying any word, when it was just silence on the other side, I thought this was the right time to come out clean.

"I know it was unacceptable. But I just couldn't stand there any longer. I just couldn't!" My voice was usually serious and I think she understood the fact that I was not playing around but left because something bothered me.

"What is it, babe? Do you want me to come over?" Carol asked, her voice much calmer this time which was a little relieving. "That's not necessary. I will just go to bed and talk to you tomorrow. I need to talk to you anyway." I said which definitely would hint to her that I indeed would share whatever was going on.

She said goodnight and disconnected the call leaving me to visit back all the beautiful moments I had with a man who I could only imagine having at such proximity. It is good to dream about all of it without expecting it to come true, I shrugged as I slid into my bed with a big smile on my face.