About House Cleaning – Part 3

Our first task was to sweep up—using actual brooms, of course. I didn't have a vacuum cleaner, and I had no idea how to use one, but I was familiar with brooms.

Or so I thought.

"Huh... Have... Did... Have neither of you ever held a broom?" I asked, observing the two sisters struggling to use their tools.

Oh, did I say "use"? I meant "hold." While Yakatarina's hands were more or less at the ideal height for her size, she gripped the broom like a pole. Iovanna, on the other hand, might as well have been wielding a sword stuck in the ground.

"... If you two don't want to help—"

"How uncouth of you to assume that. I was simply finding this boring, so my mind wandered to the specifics of the art of pole-dancing," Yakatarina explained.

"But we just started, though? Also, why are you thinking about pole-dancing? What does it have to do with cleaning?" I asked, wondering why I was even bothering to ask.

"Have you ever considered becoming a firefighter?" she continued, unfazed.

"Is that why you're holding your broom that way, Iovanna?" I turned toward the red-headed vampire.

"Ignoring me? Sadness," Yakatarina chimed in.

I kept my eyes on Iovanna, avoiding the obnoxious girl talking over my shoulder. My insistence seemed to bother Iovanna, who blatantly started avoiding my gaze.

"Why do we even need to do this? Would not it be easier to call cleaners?" she said.

"Well, YOU don't need to do anything, you know? In fact, why are you even here?"

I blurted that without thinking, genuinely wondering why she took the time to come and help me when she had a trip to prepare. However, my words came wrong and sounded way harsher than any of my thoughts on the matter.

Anxiously, I peeked at Iovanna. She was staring back at me, her mouth slightly downturned.

"Oh? Is my presence deemed unnecessary?" she asked, her tone still as composed as ever but barely covering her irritation.

"That…. That's not what I meant…"

That was all I could say back or rather, I knew trying to explain myself there would be a bit counterproductive. That or I just convinced myself it would be.

Iovanna stared at me for a few seconds and then sighed. She then shook her head and presented the broom to me as if it was some magical staff which I gained the right to use after a harsh formation.

"... Huh?"

Raised an eyebrow in confusion which prompted Iovanna to speak again.

"Forgive me. That is not what I meant either," she said, bowing lightly. "It is just as you said, Riftwalker. Children usually feel the need to use adults as models when they do something they are not used to. Yet, as a teenager, I forbid myself from using this simple wisdom inherited from our primitive ancestors out of pride. A shame, truly. You must think I am despicable, do you not?"

"I mostly don't remember saying something so cool but yeah if you are gonna be melodramatic I won't stop you…"

"*Sigh* I thought so… So shameful…"

"Right…"

"Now I must repent! Please, use this implement to teach my body!"

Again she presented me with the broom, bowing even deeper than before.

"..."

"..."

"..."

She straightened herself.

"What is the matter?"

"No… I mean… What do I teach your body exactly?"

"Holes," she replied, furrowing her eyebrows.

"... Ex… cuse me?"

"Hm? Oh… No, I meant a broom. I want you to teach my body how to use a broom."

"Your… body?"

"Yes."

"Er… Normally, you should say something like teach… you? Not your body?" I said, repeatedly blinking for some reason.

"I know what I said."

"And I would like to know too???"

"Would it not be preferable if I learned how to do it without thinking? Like walking or biking for instance. If my body learns it, I will be able to sweep without ever thinking about it. This would be quite the improvement do you not think so?"

"That… isn't the issue?"

"It is not?"

"It isn't."

"Then what is the issue?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Hm?"

"I am not sure."

"..."

"..."

"So, will they teach her body?" asked Yakatarina, putting her hand around her mouth in a way that was supposed to help her carry her voice farther… maybe. I mean, she was almost whispering.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Preview! I am doing a preview!" she replied, with a large smile.

"Eeeeh…? What… A preview to what?"

"So, will they? Won't they?" repeated Yakatarina.

"Will we? Won't we?" parroted Iovanna.

"Will they? Won't they?"

"Will we? Won't we?"

"Will they? Won't they?"

"Will we? Won't we?"

"Will dwey?! Won't dwey?!"

"..."

Why in the world did they seem so excited about that? They even got awfully close to me for some reason.

"If… If I agree to teach her, will you two stop being so annoying?"

"I will do my best!" earnestly replied Iovanna.

"Eeeeh…" It is unusual to see you so motivated…

"I don't know. Messing with you is one of the pleasures of my lonely life," mumbled Yakatarina, taking a thinking pose.

"Hey! I heard that!"

"Leave it to me, Riftwalker!" said Iovanna, putting her hand on her chest. "I know of a perfect teaching method!"

"I didn't agree yet but I guess I have no say in the matter, do I? Oh well, what do I have to do? I am bit curio—"

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"—us. Not!!!"

A swing. A technical maneuver done by golfers to… play, I guess? I don't know much about golf but there's that scene where the cringelordchad (I will copyright this word) takes the hands of the girl to show her how to use her club. I even heard of a really desperate guy who did so to teach someone how to use a game controller but doing that for a broom.

"Why the sudden yell, Riftwalker?" asked Iovanna behind whom I was standing.

If that wasn't obvious, I was now positioning her hands on the handle of the broom like some cringelordchad. A situation that made me wonder about a single thing.

"Isn't there a more efficient way to do this than cringelordchad's shenanigans?!"

"Why complaining now?" asked Yakatarina. "If you were against it, you could have chosen not to… get behind her?"

"Urk…"

"Take her hands?"

"Urgh…"

"Smell her nape?"

"Argh… Huh… Huh?! Wait, I didn't do that!!!"

She shrugged her shoulders with an amused smile, "*Sigh* Well, I suppose you can do whatever you want as long as you do the same to me afterwards?"

"E-Eh?! WHAT…Ahem… What are you saying all of a sudden?"

"Hm? Well, you see I don't know how to use a broom too so…"

She raised her hand.

"I was hoping for you to teach me too?"

"Oh…"

Again, my heart skipped a beat for a really mundane reason. She was a powerful vampire apparently dealing with political matters linked her kind and nobility title yet she couldn't find a better excuse to have me hold her hands from behind than that.

"Equality! I firmly believe in equality! After all, I believe that a teacher must not play favorites and harass all of their students equally!" she quickly added, putting her hands on her hips.

"Right… Then, is it fine if I do something indecent to Iovanna then?" I asked.

"Huh?"

"Indecent? How so?" she asked back.

"Well, you know, like this or that," I replied.

"This? That?"

"This. That."

"What are you two talking about?"

At first Yakatarina looked at me with confusion but then quickly took a shocked expression.

"Impossible! You can't possibly be mean THAT this and THIS that?!!" she asked, her hand covering her mouth.

I smirked.

"Oh but I can…" Especially since I have no idea what you are talking about.

"Which this? What that?" pointlessly asked Iovanna as only the dust would answer her question.

Yakatarina, on the other hand, pointed at me again yelling, "Objection!!!"

"This isn't a trial though?"

She pointed at me yet again, "I object to that!!!"

"Did you hear what I said?!"

"I am unable to follow you two anymore…"

"Compromise," Yakatarina said, adjusting her glasses. "If you insist on doing this and that, I will ask you to at least refrain from going all the way with THAT. Dora's mind wouldn't be able to take it."

"My… mind?"

I nodded, "That is true. We can have her becoming a husk which can only think about THAT. I will be sure to not go all out."

"H-Husk? Wait—"

"Apologies. I know I am asking something difficult. I will be sure to pay you back."

Yakatarina paused and inhaled deeply.

"Proposition, you can make my body remember this promise by doing those."

"T-THOSE??? Are you crazy?! Last time you—"

"Precisely! With that I can show you my determination, Dawn! I will save my sister no matter what!"

"Y-Yakatarina…"

".... Oh… I understand now… You two are making fun of me are you not?"