Lost
I watched Nikki by the side of my eyes. She was arguing with her locker neighbor who had drawn something on her locker.
"I wanted it spotless, thank you. Who needs a 'I'll succeed" on their locker anyway" she scolded.
My mood had been gloomy since the earlier incident and it wasn't improving with Nikki quarrelling.
I was gonna be a mood today. Thanks dad but no thanks. One thing I asked for, a happy home and a memorable last year in high school but the world said "no".
"Let's go" I try to push Nikki away from the boy for the second time but she yanked my hand away and kept on talking.
I sighed and threw myself at the lockers. The sound they make made Nikki turn to give me an innocent look, "Am I annoying you?". Hell yes you are.
"Let's go back to class. I wanna talk" I muttered. She followed me silently while giving glares to her neighbor.
Why did I feel like a love story was gonna start from them? Nah, maybe too much Kdrama.
"Your mom is a jerk" Nikki concluded after listening to me.
I didn't expect it so I was looking forward to her reasons. She staring at Han packing some books in his bag told me she might have barely heard me.
"I need a friend now, you know" I slammed the table. Jolting her. And Han. But he acted cool.
We were the only ones in class now. Weird.
She frowned, "And I have ears? Your mom is a jerk, that's all I'm saying". I face slammed.
"That's not very nice" a deep voice entered the chat.
I kept my hand on my face as it began heating up.
"Um… well, I wasn't saying her mom is a… jerk exactly. I meant… well" Nikki stammered.
She kicked me under the table to help her out. But that would mean exposing my tomato face to Felix.
"Let's go" Han finished packing and tapped Felix on the shoulders. Nikki was saying something when they both left.
I released my hand from my face. Being classmates with your idols was not as easy as I thought.
Like you can't be able to have a normal conversation with them without turning to melted ketchup.
Nikki was both blushing and sobbing, literally.
She had her epic moment. We both deserved one each.
"Maybe your dad is the jerk though" she sighed. She was recalling what I said now.
"I'd try talk to you when the boys aren't around us. You sound reasonable only then" I gave her a smug smile.
She nodded, accepting her helplessness.
°°°
At least dad had listened to me. He visited our house.
And it turned out their reason for their agreeing to divorce is cos dad cheated.
When dad had asked if I never asked him what mom did I had been scared if all this was my fault?
With my understanding now, dad had cheated cos he felt mom was so involved in her work and herself that she barely had time for him.
True, but she'd never neglect her family on purpose.
I was part of the family and I feel her absence sometimes but I know she wished things could be better.
She loved her job. Being a doctor had pros and cons. I was proud she was a doctor, belong lives and all. She wasn't doing anything bad. Understanding was all the mattered.
"Not enough reason to cheat dad. Or divorce!" I shouted back in tears.
He came all the way, even to my school, to tell me to return after he cheated cos my mom wasn't showing him love.
What a father! Such things could have been worked out.
"So that's your reason?" my mom fought back her tears. My dad didn't spare her a glance and held my hands.
"I'd marry her soon. Just come back with me".
I shook his hand off. He seemed to be losing himself. I should come back to him living with another woman.
When my own mother wasn't dead and capable of taking care of me. I was seventeen. Not a baby.
"Marry that woman, lose me. Pick?" I gave an ultimatum. He made me pick when I left him.
I knew his answer but I didn't want to think much of it till I hear them from his mouth.
"If you are asking me to pick between sorrow and happiness, I'd pick happiness" he stood up from his chair.
My eyes watered. I stretched out my hand for a handshake. He took and we shook our hands for the last time.
My life would be more pathetic now.