CHAPTER 3: THE ORPHANAGE (2)
(Tic Tac)
Lying on my back, I stare at the ceiling of the dormitory. In the middle of the night, all of the kids are dead asleep, while I stay awake like a fool. Each time I close my eyes, a feeling of panic assails me, and my throat becomes dry. Frankly, I hate this side of me, always powerless, always frightened by the possibility of disappearing, returning to this awful place...
(Tic Tac)
Time does pass slowly, as the shadows of the night seem to whisper, like a crowd murmuring and talking among themselves. I must look like a clown, acting like somebody else during the day, even though I am quite pathetic during the nigth. Viktor and Svetlana always praise me for being strong, but what if they knew that I was a fake? Well, if it's them, that wouldn't change a lot of things... But what about my pride? I am already six years old, you know?!
(Tic Tac)
Frustrated, I toss and run, with all of sudden the face of Viktor in front of mine.
"GWAK" I shout, surprised, while the eight-years old boy puts his hand over my mouth.
"Shhhhht! You're gonna wake up everyone, Kali!" mutter Viktor.
The kid looks at me gently as I nodd silently, but fuming inside. Oy, kiddo. Who do you think you are, hm? And don't scare me like that, to begin with! Next time I will bite you...
"Kali, perhaps... Do you have trouble sleeping again?" asks Viktor seriously, frowning and raising his eyebrows in a concerned manner.
Oh boy... What a sweetheart...
"There is no need to worry. That just happens sometimes, so..."
"No, Kali. I know that this does not happen sometimes, but almost every night. You are always like this, but to turn in on oneself is to slowly suffocate... We are friends you know, that pains me to see you so aloof. Watching you all these years, how hard you've tried, how..."
I interrupt him out of the blue, as his confession catches me off guard.
"I understand Viktor. So please... just let me sleep..."
The kid goes silent, before sighing.
"Okay, okay. If you want, I will sing you a lullaby, to help you sleep. My mother has sang it often... when she was still..."
Since I remain silent, Viktor takes it like a yes, and starts singing with a hint of nostalgia in his voice.
"Spi, mladenets moy prekrasnyy,
Bayushki-bayu.
Tikho smotrit mesyats yasnyy
V kolybel' tvoyu.
Stanu skazyvat' ya skazki,
Pesenku spoyu;
Ty zh dremli, zakryvshi glazki,
Bayushki-bayu..."
Wait, what is this language?! And how do you even remember the lyrics?!
"Bogatyr' ty budesh' s vidu
I kazak dushoy.
Provozhat' tebya ya vyydu
Ty makhnesh' rukoy...
Skol'ko gor'kikh slez ukradkoy
Ya v tu noch' prol'yu!..
Spi, moy angel, tikho, sladko,
Bayushki-bayu...
Bayushki-bayu..."
Oh, well... At least... that's kind of nice...
"Stanu ya toskoy tomit'sya,
Bezuteshno zhdat';
Stanu tselyy den' molit'sya,
Po nocham gadat';
Stanu dumat', chto skuchaesh'
Ty v chuzhom krayu...
Spi zh, poka zabot ne znaesh',
Bayushki-bayu..."
In the silent night, Viktor looks at the young girl sleeping peacefully, a smile on his lips.
"Good night, Kali..."
***
Damn, my neck hurts so much! Strangely enough, I didn't dream of anything last night, Not that I am complaining, you know? But, seeing Viktor with his smug face surely piss me off...
"Did you spend a good night? You... look less grumpy than usual, Kali."
'Mom' smiles at me, even when my eyes are cold, and my face is straight.
"Oh, 'Mom'. To be fair, I had a good dream. All of us were together, even the older kids who... are not here anymore? And we played a lot. By the way, I hope they are doing great. Right, 'Mom'?"
The young woman stays unfazed, but her eyes do not smile anymore.
"I miss them too"; she replies with a stern and low voice, unlike her usual soft voice.
"But you are a smart child. Be careful, after all, your turn could come faster than you think."
At that time, Svetlana rushes at me, crying so much that even 'Mom" frowns.
"What is the problem, Svetlana?" asks 'Mom' softly.
"I... I... I WANT TO GO TO THE PORT!!" shouts loudly Svetlana, making everyone wince.
"But... Why are you crying..." mutters 'Mom', startled by the fact that the girl throw a tantrum for so little.
"I WANT TO GO SEE THE SEA!!!"
"Okay! Okay! So stop crying, please!!!"
***
As we watch the ships floating on the water, Svetlana starts laughing like crazy.
"BAHAHAH! Did you see her face? The old hag is soooo funny!"
As Viktor and I look at each other, I bit my lips and ask to myself... Where is the sweet girl I knew two years ago?! Fuck! Svetlana, I am really concerned about your future...
"Hey, Kali..." keeps talking Svetlana more seriously. "What is on the other side of the ocean? Do you think... is there really the spawns of the Devil, like 'Mom' said? Or... is there something else?"
As nobody answers, we look in silence at the water. The only sounds we hear are the waves, the seagulls flying over us, and the sailors with the fishermen speaking and laughing in the distance. As we can even smell the sea, all is calm, so peaceful...
"We've never been there"; says Viktor. " So I don't know... I really don't know..."