His Confession

Albert never spoke to me. He avoided me like a plague even when I initiated small talk he never gave me the time of day. I initially gave up and focused on my preparation, the old man kept working me to the core until five days after the meet up my flames burned a clear blue. The old man had been dumbfounded, he kept asking me about my linage.

"You will be leaving tomorrow at the dead of night, so sneaking you in at the wall would be easier, you will meet a woman named Meghan, she will be your guide from there, Meghan is the head of maids in the courts. But listen to me Circe as much as we are working with some people from within the palace trust no one but your intuition." Hilda advised as I sat on the bed where she usually treats my wound awaiting her to place the spell to conceal my memories and thoughts.

"Is it going to hurt?" I asked as fiddled nervously

"It will make you just a little nauseous and dizzy, it is nothing to worry about," she said smiling at me warmly.

"Have you placed the same spell on the other moles?" I asked just stalling for time to prepare myself at that point.

"Yes I have Circe even though the barrier protecting their memories and thoughts will be weaker I doubt the king if he has a mage would be strong enough to break the spell. Now close your eyes and relax" she said as she hovered over me.

And I obliged, trying my best to keep my breathing steady. Happy thoughts just think about the happiest moments of your life I thought to myself. Then I saw mother her bright smile as she threw back a cloth ball we had made, I was at least twelve then and grumpy Alcina cussing because we were stiring up dirt and soiling the gowns she had just hung outside. And the one time mother had gifted me with a purple ruby necklace that I had never taken off ever since then, for a moment I wanted to stay forever in those memories for some reason now they even felt way more tangible, then I was pulled back to reality my eyes snapping open to find Hilda in tears and so was I.

"I am so sorry for your loss, I did not kno…" her voice cracked.

"You do not have to be sorry Hilda, time will heal I think it will at least" I assured her not so sure myself.

"Listen to me Circe the short time I spent with you I have grown fond of you and I know what will become of you if you leave tomorrow so please reconsider, telling you this I am putting a lot at risk because I am not allowed to disrupt what has been written in the stars," she said her voice cracking with every word.

"Hilda, as I have already said I have nothing to lose if me dying will pave the way to a better future for everyone here then so be it and I just can't forgive what they have done to the family I had left. You saw it too Hilda how can I just forget?" my body quivering as I burst into a sob. It has been a while since I had broken down, I had kept myself busy, I had trained to a point where nothing occupied my mind but just the pain of my throbbing limbs. And each time I went to bed I just faded into sleep.

"I understand," she said as she held me while I cried, we sat like that for a while and she finally let me go when I had stopped sobbing.

Hilda walked me home, the more I talked to her the more I suddenly wanted to hold on to this friendship I have with her just a little while longer, realization dawning in my head that this might be the last moments I share with her.

"Can I have a word with you" Albert's voice startling me, since I have not heard him say a word to me for the past six days for a moment I debated whether I should hit him with the silent treatment and I quickly decided otherwise, I really did not want to leave on bad terms with him. I awkwardly waved goodbye to Hilda and followed Albert to the meadow which had somehow become "our place". The blanket of night had been threatening the sky and iridescent of bits of stars.

"I am sorry," he said abruptly and turning to face me.

"I have been acting immature, like a five year old being deprived his favorite candy, but how am I supposed to act Circe when I am helplessly in love with you and I have been long back when we had been kids," he said, his expression of a defeated man as if he had lost something. His confession had startled me I was simply lost for words. I just based our interactions as two horny young adults who needed to get it off.

"I am sorry to be telling you this now because I was so stupid and did not know how to get my feelings across and I hesitated, I hesitated for so long Circe it pained me. Now I am just clinging on to you hoping that you would stay with me" he said his voice slightly breaking. Was he about cry? If the situation had been different I could have found this very much amusing but I stood there staring at him like a fool, void of any thoughts. I did not know what to say to him, "I do not love you sir, but I would very much love and willing to be your whore?" I thought to myself and immediately dismissing the thought and physically shaking my head in the process.

"Albert I …" and he interrupted me before I could make words for what I was feeling.

"You do not have to say anything I know you far too well, once you put your mind into something persuading you otherwise is close to impossible," he said with a desultory laugh.

"I'll wait for your return Circe, I'll wait for you to the end of time I'll wait even if it kills me because you are mine and the Gods be damned."

Getting Albert out of my head that night proved to be impossible, maybe if I gave it a chance then my feelings for him would eventually sprout and grow but I had different objectives at the moment, and considering what Albert had said was just complicating things for me, maybe just maybe when the dust settled I would pursue the thought of starting something with him.

The next day was nothing out of the normal aside from the fact that I was set to leave at dusk. Emily and Hilda cried the entirety of the day and Hilda at some point ran me through the plan one more time that after arriving, Lord Mantis should be killed 4 days after and the different ways I can go about it. Albert and I conversed casually the both of us pretending as if nothing had happened.

At dusk Issac and Adam the boy I had spent months with but never seemed to remember his name were called out by the old man to escort me towards the gate. The distance was short so we arrived well before midnight. The wall towered at least 200 feet, I had always seen the wall from afar now that I was this close to it seemed impermeable. I wore crimson silk gown that my mother had made especially for me during my nineteenth birthday and out of all the gowns I owned it was the one I held dear, it accentuated my rather generous curves and covered my large bosom. I then draped a black cloak that concealed half of my face. There were ten guards by the gate who had barely take note of us, some held a bottle of wine while others played cards.

I was still busy studying my surrounding I had barely noticed the woman that had just approached us. She like me hid her face behind a cloak.

"I'll take her from here, thank you" her tone curt.

The boys hugged me and bid me goodbye and I was led into unfamiliar territory. My senses were immediately overwhelmed by the smell of greenery when we entered the gate, my feet brushing what I thought to be grass, and all of sudden I felt giddy wondering what the scenery looks like during the day. Meghan guided me towards two horses.

"Can you ride, dear?" she asked turning to face me.

"I never got to learn" I answered.

"Well that is a shame, I'll ride with you then," she said her tone much friendlier than before.

We mounted the horse and set off. I was wide-eyed the whole trip trying to make out shapes and objects in the dark then my attention was captivated by the bright lights I saw in a distance of what I thought to be the palace. Then I was overwhelmed by the sound that echoed from a distance, men and women chattering the sound of music, and as we drew closer the smell of wine. The city came into view, the lights that I had figured were from the palace were illuminated from the city, unlike the outskirts the city was lively during the night people drank and laughed they feared nothing and it made my blood boil.