Numbness

⚠ Warning - This chapter may contain sexual assault references. If you're uncomfortable reading, please skip this chapter.

~ Calista's Pov ~

I opened my eyes to a bright room. The sun was already up. It lit the room cheerfully, but I was not in the mood for it. I wondered how I ended up here like this. Where did I go wrong? Why? Why haven't I learned my lesson? Why am I so naive? Why did I not listen to the warnings in my head?

I felt dumb and the feeling of hatred surged up my body. My toes curled in hatred. I hated myself more than anything.

If only I had listened to my brain, if only I had found an excuse to leave the place, if only....

I could hear two voices from the living room. It must have been Michael who's talking with Isac.

Now I'm a burden and troublesome. If only I had avoided that situation somehow I wouldn't have troubled Isac.

Two scenes kept replaying over and over. My head was starting to hurt. I tried very hard to distract myself but they just won't stop playing. It was as if my system broke down and it was like the endless error boxes popping up in the desktop. I stared blankly at the half white ceiling giving up. The more I fought, the more intensly I felt the scene. I just gave up. Hoping I would lose this video soon.

The scene where I was completely defenseless when he took explicit pictures of me kept replaying the most. I..... am still not sure how I would've reacted, if at all this situation was to repeat.

Maybe I could've kicked him in the balls, maybe I could've hit him with a brick when he was dragging me, maybe push him into a pole near the bus stop. There were so many possible things that I could've done, but here I am lying on a bed, with my own blood oozing and drenching the sheets yet again. That's when I realized I may be on my periods.

I did not like the feeling. The feeling where I could not do anything, my body froze yet again. The only thing I could feel was my thoughts. I was numb. Tears rolled uncontrollably as two more scenes overlapped my already crowded thoughts.

The scene where a faceless man penetrated his thing into me, the pain that I felt back then and how I was clueless. Another man kissing me without my consent, taking explicit pictures, beating me into a pulp. All of this was too much to handle. My eyes fogged up. I couldn't take it anymore.

I tried so hard to put it all behind me, but here it was resurfacing yet again. It was ridiculous. The timing was completely off. I give up. I had no energy to fight this. My legs trembled, but I wanted to distract myself.

I got up, I saw the sheets. They were covered in blood. I tried and pulled the cover and took it to the restroom.

The water was running as I tried to clean up the sheets in the basin. My fingers had no strength to it. The numbness did not let me do anything.. I cried out of frustration. It was frustrating.