Newness

I was actually kind of taken aback.. I would be lying if I said I didn't.. This was all new to me.

This was the first time that I had a lady over, and she was menstruating on top of that.. I didn't have much idea about how all those work, but I atleast knew the basics.

I clearly didn't know how to react when I saw my sheets stained with blood. I knew for sure that it was not her fault, of course it wasn't. And it looked like she felt really bad about it and also she looked frustrated when I saw her that she couldn't completely move her fingers.

My body moved on its own. I grabbed the sheet from her and started rinsing it.

It felt weird, but not uncomfortable. This was something I didn't imagine I would be doing. She already had so much going on, and I thought that this was the least that I could do.

She started apologizing for her actions. I felt the need for me to cut her off mid sentence and I did. It was that I realized she didn't have the necessary items for her monthly routine. I used this to cut her off. I asked Michael to ask someone who knew very well about menstruation to get her some necessities.

I kept rinsing and the stain was slowly washing off. I saw her standing next to me as I rinsed. I could sense that she was zoning out as she stared aimlessly at the sheet.

"You don't have to stand here you know.."

"but - "

"atleast you can sit somewhere while you watch me hand rinse the sheet"

" no.. I'm afraid I'll further stain other things. I'd rather stand I don't have much problem with standing.. also I feel extremely bad for making you do this so atleast let me stand next you " she spoke in a hurry, she thought I'll cut her off again but I let her speak.

I didn't respond back. If she felt that way, I didn't want to force her.

It was silent, the running water filled the silence.

I felt strange, these feelings were new to me, it was not anything foreign but new.. I couldn't decipher this newness.. I felt bad, sad and hurt for what had happened to her. But somehow I also felt a bit relieved that she was starting to slowly express herself and deal with it..

I was afraid that she'll completely shut out.. but she didn't and that was strong of her...