The Mint of Midnight

Well, I guess it wasn't once a Blue Moon. Hey, I'm trying though so there's that. As I said before in the last Authors Note I'm looking for an editor and a cover artist. Then again, no one reads these bolded words. The picture above is Death at least for now.

                              ...

          It was dark, but it wasn't the terrifying dark that makes us run to the safety of our beds. It was the alluring kind of darkness that held mysteries upon its star-filled sky.

          The sight of it alone took my breath away, it gave me a sense of childish wonder that I once had a just a few years ago.

        The smell of mint and strawberries clung to the refreshing push of wind. I was in my most comfortable element. Until he ruined it.

      He had brown hair that reminded me of pineapples and he kept muttering the word, "troublesome".

        The only thing that's even remotely " troublesome" is the fact that he's in my spot. If he's going to be here then he should shut the fuck up and deal with whatever's "troublesome".

         Fucking lazy asshole, I wish he would shut the fuck up. Like seriously, has he ever heard of silence.

        Yes, I was in a bad mood. I realized even though I was as overpowered as you can get, I didn't have the experience and I didn't know my limits.

        All I was was just raw potential. I had no wisdom to back myself up and I didn't train hard enough to train my body.

          So yes, I was in a pissy mood. This " troublesome" boy was worse than Death when he accidentally burns his manga.

         "Can you please shut the fuck up Pineapple Head?" I growled out in frustration, hating the thought that I was weak.

         "What a drag, my name is not Pineapple Head, its Shikamaru Nara, you troublesome woman." He replied nonchalantly, his voice sounding tired and uninterested.

         I was not a "troublesome woman"! I was Saikio Uzumaki, the one girl who dared to fight off her fujoshi disease.

          " I am not troublesome! I am the most fabulous person you will ever meet in your sad life!" My tone sounded insulted and to be honest, so was my pride.

           "Troublesome." Was the only word he said back to me in reply. I was considering to slack this bitch back to his aggressive mother. How do I know his mother is aggressive? It's simple, all the woman in Konoha are.

            "So, troublesome woman, what's your oh so amazing name?" Was Pineapple Head's attempt to get information on a girl who could be his potential enemy.

         "Wouldn't you like to know Pineapple Head?" I said in reply, laying down next to this slightly attractive male.

          "Not really." He said back to me, acting like he was some sass master like an acquaintance of mine who went by the name Percy.

        I almost gasped in an undignified manner. Did this little bitch think that he was all that?

        "Relax woman, I was just kidding." Pineapple said after he saw my fuming face.

        "I'm going to bitch slap you if you keep calling me 'woman'." Was my reply to this rude boy.

          "What am I suppose to call you, Strawberry Head?" Pineapple said, quirking his lips up to a lazy but hot smirk.

              "STRAWBERRY HEAD! BITCH, I WILL KILL YOU!" I screamed out in anger ready to murder my next victim.

               "What a drag." He said sitting up and dragging himself back so that he doesn't get pummeled by my fists.

                 I growled and counted to negative ten so that I could calm myself. After all, I was here to relax and enjoy the view, but, which one? Pineapple or the ravishing midnight sky that held all of its secrets.

I tched and relaxed. I could feel my shoulders lightening and my breath becoming even and steady.

               Why was Pineapple staring at me? Was he checking my sexiness out? Would we end up having a one night stand underneath the stars despite both of us being about thirteen and virgins?

               'God I hope so', I thought while blushing a faint pink. I wonder if he has abs or if he's big.

             'Wait, where the hell are my thoughts going? He's probably analyzing me to make sure I'm not an enemy. Fucking whoremons.' I thought embarrassed at myself for my desperate need to get laid.

               I don't know why but Pineapple smirked at me like he knew exactly what I was thinking. That idea itself unnerves me.

              "Am I going to get your name Strawberry Head? Or are you going to keep staring?" He asked me continuing to smirk like a damn Uchiha.

              Wait, I was the one staring? Goddamnit! I ruined my only shot to enjoy myself. Now, I'm stuck reading yaoi manga with Death since I can't get any!

           "I wasn't staring! " I burst out trying to distract him from getting my name. I like having a normal conversation with someone who's not the personification of Death.

              Pineapple's eyes narrowed and suddenly I couldn't move.

               I tried to struggle out of my binds but I was paralyzed. What the fuck man.

            Finally, it bitch slapped me in the face that Pineapple was a Nara and he could Shadow Possession Jutsu.

            Fuck me with a 15-inch dildo! I was careless yet again and this happens! This is why I don't let my guard down!

              Why are all the hot ones against me? Every good damn time! Hidan, this is your fault!

             Somewhere in Sunagakure Hidan sneezes while performing a sacrifice to Jashin-Sama.

               "What is your name?" Pineapple questioned slowly, forcing my body to stand up and walk to him. Damn, he's hot when he tries to be the dominant one.

              "Why do you need to know?" I asked raising one of my flawless eyebrows. Seriously, what's so important about my name?

              "Tell me, you troublesome woman!" He burst out, drawing a kunai to my throat. It's a good thing I'm a bit of an S and M.

           "It's Saikio Uzumaki, nothing special." I drawled out, my eyes glinting with a bit of excitement.

             "Are you related to Naruto Uzumaki by any chance?" He interrogated.

        "Who?" I asked confused as fuck. Who the fuck is he talking about?

          "Nevermind." He said unleashing me from the shadows that trapped my body. About time he ended the foreplay.

           He laid back down as if nothing happened and gestured for me to sit next to his bondage liking ass.

            Since I had zero common sense I did just that. Not before tackling him to the ground to see if he had abs.

            "Consider this payback", I said just before I poked his stomach with him struggling against my body.

              He had a toned stomach but not serious hardcore abs. I guess I'll have to tell him to do more sit-ups later.

             "What are doing? Get off of me you troublesome woman!" He shouted as if I was raping his ass.

               "Seven out of ten," I said before I got off of him and patted out the dirt that got on to me.

              "If you're going to sexually harass me then you better know that I'm a ten out ten." He said like a true boss. "

              "Ten out of ten is exaggerating a bit. Only one person ever got ten out of ten and that's Madara-Sama." I said scoffing at his comment.

            "Madara Uchiha? Are we talking about the same Madara Strawberry-chan?" He asked a bit shocked at my choice.

              Hey! I was upgraded to "chan"! All I need to do now is to get him to call me Senpai, then my life will forever be satisfied.

             "Of course Pineapple-kun!   Who else do you think I was talking about? Madara Senju?" I joked, after all, there is only one Madara that I know of.

             We both went silent when we saw a shooting star dance across the mysterious and alluring night sky. I wonder what to wish for? I got it!

            I wish that Death would stop leaving the toilet seat open!

Some people may think that I wasted a perfectly good wish but I needed the impossible to happen! I'm tired of always having to walk in the bathroom to see the toilet seat up! It was either that or I wish for a meteor to come and kill us all. To dark?

         "What did you wish for?" Pineapple asked glancing at me with his cool dark brown eyes.

           Smirking a bit I said, " Just that you'd shut up and make out with me already." Hey, a girl could dream it's not like he would do i-

            My thoughts stopped themselves abruptly when I felt a pair of soft lips on my mouth.

No. Fucking. Way! Hell fucking yes! Whooo, take that Death I'm closer to getting laid than you!

           I for one wasn't going to let this opportunity slip by. So I gripped Pineapple by the ass and shoulders. Sneaking my tongue into my mouth I could feel Pineapple smirk against our conjoined lips.

           Some people may think that we're moving too fast, they're probably right but right now I want to enjoy this moment, this shade of life. After all, it was my first kiss.

            I, or if Pineapple seen him, didn't expect Death to be the cockblocker as he ran towards us screaming some nonsense about a portal beneath us.

             The last thing I thought before my vision faded into darkness was,' Death, you fucking cockblocker, I bet you did this on purpose didn't you?'

                             ...

Well, this is today's chapter folks! I'm not going to tell you some bullshit about hitting the like button and commenting because I know you're not even reading the bolded letters are you? Who knows I could be telling you some juicy gossip and you wouldn't know.

P.S. Sakura Haruno is not useless! She saves lives and she's always being compared to the Kyuubi's jinchuuriki who has ungodly amounts of Chakra and the last Uchiha who wants to and eventually does kill his brother.

Vote now for who Death should date!