Death the Cockblocker

            Almost immediately after we were thrown through the portal I asked Death a very very important question.

             "Death, what the fuck did you do this time." I was met with silence. Death hopped from foot to foot wringing his hands in a way only I knew.

              "You did not," I said in disbelief. Don't tell me he did that again. Every fucking time!

               Looking at the ground I could see Pineapple Head unconscious. We were about to have sex too! Well, at least in my perverted mind.

                "You pissed off your father again? What was it this time? Flaming dog shit in his shoes, flirting with Sebastian, or wait, let me guess, screwing a nobles son?" I growled out, not bothering to take a look at my surroundings, which I should've done.

              See? No experience or wisdom, the only raw potential that got me almost stuck with the CRA.

               Death, who finally looked up at me with his chocolate coffee brown eyes, used the Kicked-Puppy-No-Jutsu face. I almost kicked him, instead I settled for smacking him upside the head.

             Hearing a groan from the floor I realized I forgot about my Pineapple Head. (Yes, he's mine already. He has no choice in the matter.)

                "Where are we?" Pineapple asked as if I had a clue.

Throwing some shade at Death, I also asked him the same question.

              "W-well after I w-warned you guys I h-had to transport us in a random f-frequency to save y-your lives from my f-father." Death stuttered no doubt afraid to repeat what happened in the last accident.

             Poor Pineapple Head looked so lost. Pineapple actually started to look around us so that we could know our environment.

              Getting the hint I also looked around us only to see that we were surrounded by green. It took me a moment to realize that the green was moss, trees, and grass. The air was humid and felt almost...fake.

           Our surroundings weren't real nature. It was like something from that movie scene where the samurai had to go through a rainforest to save his master's daughter.

              I grabbed both of their hands and put my index finger against my lips. I couldn't feel the normal buzz of chakra around us. Only ours.

          We stealthy moved towards the door that was conveniently placed there by some deity who created us,(totally not the author).

             When we opened the doors the reaction was immediate.

            "GAAGHH MY EYES! CLOSE THE DOOR!" Death screamed out, giving away our location.

             People, if you even call them that, were dressed up in the strangest of clothing. Why was one dressed as an undead person? Why were there screams so fake that could rival Ino's?

              "This is going to be such a drag." Shikamaru the Pineapple sighed as if he was dying slowly on the inside. You and me both pal.

            Grabbing Pineapple and Death's hands I yanked us to a less compromised position so that we can figure out where the fuck we were at and why the buildings were so tall.

            We dodged the metal boxes that honked at us much like Sasuke would we heard people shouting at us, cursing in our native language.

              Finally, we reached an alleyway away from civilization. We needed to get answers, something didn't quite feel well to me. These people had no chakra, they had almost no presence. Would that mean that I can be considered as a God in this new world? Jashin and Kami-Sama I hope so.

              "Death, Pineapple, we need to figure out what place we were transported to. These people have no chakra and they don't carry weapons on them besides that small glowing rectangle box that they can't keep their eyes off of. I noticed that their steeds were those metal automobiles. Furthermore, customs and clothing make us stick out like a sore thumb Any thoughts or ideas".

             "To build on what you said I also noticed the lack of shinobi and although we speak the same language I also came to notice their fond of profanity, man, my Kaa-san is going to brutally murder me." Pineapple said, his worried tone barely hidden beneath the surface. He was trying to keep up a calm front so that his emotions don't get in the way.

            "I think we should lay low for a while and get to know their customs and rules so that we know what to prepare for. I don't believe it's wise to get in trouble any time later throughout the week. We should split up so that we can gain more knowledge and survey our area." Surprisingly, it was Death who said this. I never knew he was such a smarty pants.

            Pineapple and I nodded to him, as shinobis it was important for us to have as much information as possible.

              We all glanced to each other and each went our separate ways to explore the great unknown.

A FABULOUS TIMESKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY DEATH SMACKING AQUALAD'S ASS

                            ...

         It's been a week since we were brought to this world and so far we knew a few rules. First, we shouldn't use our chakra seeing as how these extras didn't have it. Second, look both ways before you cross the street or people won't care if you get hit by what they call a "car". Third, murder wasn't taken to kindly so we couldn't brag about our kills like we usually do. Fourth, the " normal" animals don't talk so we can't send a summon. Finally, you had to go to school even if you knew all of the material.

          Some interesting things also happened. Pineapple-kun discovered the "news" that helped us gain more of an understanding of this world. We learned that these people were pigs, they covered their food in grease and salt with an unknown amount of chemicals. Death, Pineapple, and I decided not to eat that crap. Lastly, we learned that Japan had none of these so-called "heroes". In which, I told Death "no" about being their heroes until we learn a little more about this place.

         Of course, people were still sexist. Schoolgirls had to wear skirts and weren't allowed to wear male clothes. What really surprised me, was the clothing. I think I fell in love with it.

         I never thought dresses could look so light and that shoes had to encase your entire foot over here.

           Shikamaru discovered chess and would often play against a lot of old men. He still remained the champion of that game much to his amusement. I swear he's like an old man himself. We were an awkward phrase ever since our last kiss and I was getting sick of it!

           Death found this really hot group of young men and a single female who called themselves the "Host Club". Lately, he's been more flirty than usual and I knew the Host Club was to blame for this, especially the tall purple eyed-blond one, he was the worst.

             All I've been doing was trying to find a job to support us all so that we can buy all of our necessaries. That proved to be difficult seeing as I had no record of my citizenship. This world was more strict than our last one, you couldn't travel without paperwork and there was the topic of modesty. Which Death didn't have? He's been waving his shirt around like a madman and was cheering about some bullshit I don't even want to know about.

         I decided that I was going to forge some paperwork so that we could attend Ouran Private Academy seeing as how that's where Death made his friends. I just hope that the academic curriculum is below the one that the ninja world has taught us or else Death would be well... Dead.

          I snorted at my own joke, despite it not being funny and reorganized my thoughts yet again. So much to do so little time.

            I should've jumped off the Hokage's Mountain when I had the chance.

                              ...

Hey guys! Well, to whoever is reading this bull crap. School is just about to start and I'm thinking about how I can avoid it. Any ideas?