Heart to Heart

''Haha, to think you actually use a god's power with holy magic, wow so informative, haha...''

I pretended to read the book out loud. At times I stole some glances at the dark-haired woman who was sitting with her friends.

To think I'd encounter my sister here. What am I supposed to do? Do I just go up to her? No, she's with her friends, that'd be hella awkward.

Either way, I couldn't just sit here stupidly while I have the chance, I'll just wait for a good opportunity.

...Anyways, why is she being so carefree? Didn't mom say that she had to finish her homework and then she'd visit home right after?

Yet here she was, laughing and chatting so calmly with her friends. Did they just come here to hang out? Seems like pretty loser behavior to hang out in a library. As to how I would know this, well, I'm a loser myself.

Of course, it could just be a cultural thing. But as far as I knew, the library was a sacred place for introverts and loners like me.

''Did you see how Emily fell? Hahaha..''

The man with red hair sitting next to my sister talked, and she hit him in the arm with a very light punch.

''Come on, you shouldn't be using your magic like that, what if you get caught?''

''But you laughed too, right?''

''...Well, it was pretty funny.''

My sister looked away and snickered under her breath. While they weren't being particularly loud, because of the reading room's natural silence it was easy to make out their words as long as you listened carefully.

I let out a deep sigh. I see so that's how it is. I guess I should've expected as much if she was going to be surrounded by nobles. To think my own sister would become a bully...

Or I might just be jumping to conclusions too fast. Yeah, I'll just give her the benefit of the doubt for now.

''I'll go and look for a book, after all, we came here to study..''

She stood up from her seat and walked towards the large entrance of the reading room.

''True, true, bring me one too...''

''Look for one yourself!''

She told him and disappeared through the entrance. Her friends snickered and kept talking amongst themselves.

That's my cue then.

Closing the thick books on my desk, I put them back on the brown bag and headed out of the reading room, trying to catch up to her.

I made my way through the library, looking through the halls in between the large and towering bookshelves, until my eyes finally found Martha.

She was on her toes, trying to reach a book that was placed high on the shelf.

''Crap, almost got it... Ah!''

She let out a surprised sound, as I grabbed the green book she was trying to reach for. I turned it around. 'Chemical Knowledge To Become a Better Alchemist', was the title.

''Here.''

''Ah, thank yo--?!''

She turned around at my voice, and she was going to thank me before looking at my face. She stumbled back just slightly, crashing against the wooden bookshelf.

''Y-You.. Isaac...''

''Hello, Martha, how's it been?''

I smiled widely at her, and though her face showed that she was happy to see me, there was also a bit of hesitation and ever fear in her eyes.

''I'm not here to scold you or something, do you think I have the energy for that?''

''Ah, that so..''

She visibly relaxed.

''Of course, we're just gonna have a brother-to-sister talk.''

Her eyes widened in surprise, and she bitterly smiled an answer.

''S-Sure, haha...''

---------------------------------------

I waited outside the library's door. She said she was gonna say goodbye to her friends, but she sure was taking a long time.

''I-I'm here.''

The silver door was pushed open and she shyly walked out of the library.

''Why are you treating me like I'm gonna kill you...? I'm not some wild dog, you can calm down.''

''B-But...''

Was I really that intimidating? I didn't think so, even my younger brothers lost all of their fear of me once they caught me in a headlock while we were playing.

''...Let's go, we'll talk on the way.''

''Ah, we aren't going home, right?!''

''...No, I was thinking of just walking around the city for a while..''

She let out a sigh of relief and smiled.

''Then it's okay.''

I was confused but didn't question any further as we walked down the stairs. We were gonna have a pretty long talk, after all.

We walked through the winding streets. I've already gotten used to this sight, but since we're gonna go up instead of down this time, maybe I'll get to look at a different scenery.

''So, Martha, how've you been? How's school going?''

I asked her, breaking the awkward silence. She sighed and said:

''Not bad, but with all of the extracurricular activities and clubs I haven't had the time to really relax. What about you?''

''Me? I'm doing fine. My left arm was pretty fucked, but after a few good night's rest, it seems to have almost fully healed. 'Twas the power of holy magic, I say!''

I said enthusiastically and flexed my left arm's bicep. She laughed along with my joke and visibly relaxed.

''...What were you doing in the library, by the way?''

She asked me with her brows raised, and I answered:

''Ah, I was studying. I was thinking of retiring from being a knight and was gonna become an adventurer, but a friend told me they don't accept uneducated men there so I was forced to study.''

''Ehh, you have friends?''

''Of course?! Do you think I'm some sort of antisocial weirdo?!''

''Kinda.''

I grunted and looked away, to which she laughed again.

''By the way, were those guys back there your friends?''

''Ah, yeah. Honestly, they're a bunch of idiots, they always play pranks on other students...''

''I see, so you've become a bully.''

''What?! No! Ah, did you hear about Emily? She's the bully! He just got back at her because she always teases me and makes fun of me.''

Ah, so that's what it was. I messed up, I guess I should've known better, it's not like my sister could become a bully with how introverted and quiet she is.

Anyways, I guess I should ask her what I wanted to ask her since I first saw her.

''I see. So, since you're clearly having such a good time, why haven't you visited dad and mom?''

''...''

She stopped in her tracks, and I turned around to see her expression change into discomfort and shame.

''I... I don't know. It's just... difficult..''

''Difficult? How so?''

It was obvious from looking at her face that she was growing increasingly frustrated. She bit down on her lips and furrowed her brows in anger.

''Why are you asking me this?''

She snapped and looked at me with teary eyes.

''Didn't I tell you that I didn't want to go home? Why would you ask me about dad and mom? I clearly don't want to talk about them, are you dumb or something?''

I widened my eyes at her sharp words and the hostility and anger behind them.

''Wow, harsh, I just wanted to know. If you don't want to visit them that much, then don't, not like I can force you to.''

I answered, trying to keep my own temper in check.

Her anger didn't seem to dissipate at all, but her expression changed from one of anger to one of shame and guilt.

''I-I know, I'm sorry...''

Her lips trembled, and she spoke with a voice barely louder than a whisper:

''But it's just... It's too hard for me to face them.''

Her voice seemed to break as she talked.

''I know very well how much they're struggling, how much you're struggling, and it's hard enough to just think about it. That's why I don't want to see them. I've been living in luxury ever since I got into the academy, and seeing them struggling so much whereas I'm having such a carefree life...''

''It feels like I'm living a lie, or something, I don't know...''

I could see the pain and guilt in her eyes. Soon enough, tears started flowing from her eyes.

I was taken aback by her words. I didn't know she felt like that. I was at a loss for words. And as I've said before, I didn't really know how to comfort people going through personal troubles like that, so I didn't know what to do now.

Shit, did I really drag her out just to make her cry? I really should've minded my own business.

''...Well, if it's just that then I'm sure they'll understand.''

I put my arm around her shoulder and playfully ruffled her hair. I felt her tears dampen my chest as she cried her heart out.

''Don't worry, like I said, I'm not here to scold you. I just wanted to know since my parents are worried. They're not angry, so calm down. Ah, by the way, if you want to use my shirt to wipe your snot away, forget it, it's my most precious of acquisitions.''

''Pff, hahaha...''

She laughed through her tears. We stood there for a good minute, ignoring the weird stares some of the passersby gave us.

Eventually, she calmed down and playfully pushed me off while wiping her tears with her sleeves.

''You asshole, you really just made me cry, I'm going to report you for emotional abuse.''

''Didn't even hesitate...''

I chuckled at her joke and waited until she fully calmed herself down.

''Well, it's not like I can just come back to my friends like this.''

''I guess not.''

She ran her fingers through her tangled hair.

''...I'll try to visit dad and mom one of these days. I guess I can't keep running away forever. Thank you for giving me a reality check.''

''Sure, and next time, don't make up an excuse like having exams.''

''Ah, no, that one was true, I do have exams coming up. That's the entire reason I was at the library in the first place.''

''...Sorry''

I bowed down and apologized from the bottom of my heart.

''Yeah, yeah, sure, I'll just study at the dormitory, so don't worry about it.''

She waved my apology away and turned around to leave.

''Well then, I'm going now. Make sure you get home safe!''

I smiled at her caring words and watched as she disappeared into the distance.

I guess coming back here wasn't such a bad thing after all. I felt a deep sense of relief at knowing I hadn't completely severed my sister's connection with her family by sending her away.

And that in spite of all the time that has passed since we haven't seen each other, she still thought of me as her dependable older brother. And in a weird way, that thought filled me with a pride and sense of accomplishment I haven't felt even on the battlefield.

''...Well, I guess I have to go myself then.''

I turned around and looked at the red sky. I couldn't possibly keep studying, so I think I'll just head home.