Chapter 9. The Pain of the Past

I knew for a fact that we had been moving through time and space, but I could not yet see where we were going exactly. But before we did arrive at our intended destination, Michael came to stand before me and as he brought his thumbs closer to my eyes, he said, "I give you sight so that you can see with your human eyes what lies behind the barrier of the physical and logical world."

It was a testament to how much I trusted in Michael that I properly responded to his gesture by closing my eyes and also by allowing him to touch my eyelids. Because my first instinct had been to move my head back and question him about what he intended to do, but just as I was about to do so I felt his power and light within me and I remembered what I was supposed to do. That is why I accepted his gesture without question.

"Okay, you may open them," Michael murmured as he stepped back from me. I slowly did as he requested, and as soon as I did I gasped. Not only had the black bubble we had been in disappeared, but now I was seeing things I had never thought were even possible.

But more important than that, more important than anything else that had happened so far, was the fact that when I looked down at my chest, I realized that my little fire had become more like a roadway of light that connected itself to my four friends.

This startled me for one reason; I was now more than aware of the special connection that existed between Abraham, Michael, Emmanuel, and me, and I had an inkling as to why that link existed. But I would have never imagined that Dawn would also be a part of this connection. I might have accepted when I saw her at the glen that she was more than just a figment of my imagination, but I had not been prepared to think of her as being part of the trio.

I wanted to ask, I wanted to understand this mystery, but my brain could simply not comprehend it, and when I began to become agitated by this fact, I felt Emmanuel's hand reaching for my face and touching my cheek tenderly. I closed my eyes again, overwhelmed by the emotions inside me, but Emmanuel soon asked me to open them again.

"Do not be afraid, my dearest Emily," he said, "and simply let your mind be free of its physical constrictions. Allow your soul to be its guide and leader. What you see, and what you feel, are all part of that fountain of truth you were reflecting upon when we arrived at your parents' home. It is not yet time for you to understand all this, so let your soul, who does know the truth, be your guidance."

"Why do I need this now? Why did Michael open my eyes, or whatever it was he did, and why am I seeing what I am seeing right now?" I asked Emmanuel, really wishing to understand that small part at least.

"What you are about to see and experience is going to be extremely hard and it will test the bases you have managed to acquire so far in our journey. Without Michael's power inside you, without his light and guidance, you will sink again into your earlier self. But even more important than this is, that you need to start seeing that when we told you you would never be alone, we meant it literally. You are connected to us, all four of us, and this will be the most powerful protection you will ever have against the battle you are about to face. The link you are able to see now is real, not imaginary and it makes part of that invisible spiritual world you thought of earlier.

"Now," Emmanuel continued as he moved away from me, allowing me to see where we were now, "be prepared and remember what I just said. Be open-minded to what you will see, and also to that which your normal human eyes would have never seen."

I then became aware that we had arrived at the creepiest and scariest place I had ever seen on this planet and I could not help but feel disgusted and frightened. It was exactly like those places you only see in serial-killer movies.

We were in a stone cellar that was damp, musty, and really cold and the only source of light came from a tiny barred window that was placed at the highest point of one of the walls. On the far right, there was a rickety wooden stair that led to an upper floor and the entire space had been packed with preserve barrels and fridges that probably held meat.

As I was looking around this freaky place I became aware of a whimpering sound that was coming from a darkened corner created by the crossing of the stairs and the floor.

I approached slowly and soon became aware that the pitiful noise was coming from a really thin young woman with matted dark-blond hair. She seemed to be about 20 years old by her size, but she was so malnourished that even though I could only see the back of her body, the arms that peeked out of the rag that was covering her could have belonged to a little girl.

Wanting to know who this poor being was, I started to move closer and as I did, I saw that the young woman was lying in a protective position, with her face covered from view by her crossed arms and raised legs. I felt utter pity for this person, and that feeling only grew as I saw more and more of her, except for her face.

Aside from thin, I realized that this woman's arms, legs, and neck were covered in bruises of all kinds of colors, which evidenced the abuse she had been forced to experience. Furthermore, I saw that her hair was not only matted but also dirty and her skin, which should have been very white, almost transparent, was dark with soot and dirt.

I had thus been engrossed in my perusal of the woman before me, wishing with all my heart to know who she was, when we both became startled by the loud sound of a banging door over our heads. I had been looking up at the ceiling formed by the stairs but I soon brought my eyes down when I heard the whimpering from the girl intensifying. At that moment I wished with all my heart I had never done this, for, staring back at me were the terrified eyes of the person I loved most in this world, and I finally connected the dots. This poor abused being was my very own mother.

Overwhelmed by panic, and by all kinds of emotions, I stumbled back in horror, refusing to take in what I was seeing. My heart felt frozen and hot at the same time and my mind had been completely overcome by disbelief. I did not know what to think, or how to act, because at that moment all I wanted was to either scream, or do something to change what I was seeing, but I knew I couldn't. I began to feel frustrated and really angry and I wanted my companions to help my mother. I wanted someone to do something for this poor human being who had done nothing to deserve such a situation.

I turned around from the gruesome sight and faced my companions.

"Michael! Abraham! Emmanuel! I know that you have asked me to trust you and that this is part of my process, but please, you must do something! How am I supposed to heal, to rebuild myself, and most importantly, believe that there is a God out there who cares for me and others when I have to witness this horror?" I asked them in despair, but also with a plight in my voice.

The three men and Dawn, all looked at me with tears in their eyes and somehow I knew that they were as broken by this as I was, but they were not able to change what had happened in the past.

And then, my blood froze in my veins when my ears picked up on the sound of harsh and loud footsteps coming from the house above the cellar. I could hear someone breathing really hard as they ran through some room upstairs, and there were also some unintelligible words and grunts that allowed me to know it was a man who was moving around on the floor above us, but nothing else.

For a second I allowed myself to be positive and think that maybe someone had come in search of my mother, to help her, but when I looked at her shaking figure, I realized that I was relying on false hope.

I then suddenly heard the door that led to the cellar crashing against the wall and as the person descended the stairs and became visible to me, I realized that he was not only a very young but built man but that he also sported the most handsome and meanest face, any human could ever have.

As soon as the man reached the bottom of the stairs he began to call my mother almost like one would call a dog and when she did not immediately appear before him he moved towards her corner like a maddened bull. With his fists raised and his nostrils flaring, the man reached for my mother and took her by the hair as he pulled her from her safe place. My mother wailed and attempted to get away from this good-looking monster, but all her attempts were in vain.

I had never felt more powerless in my entire life, or more desperate. I was seeing this but I could do nothing to change what was happening and there couldn't have been a bigger humiliation against the human ego. I knew for sure that even if I obeyed my human instincts, which were screaming at me now to reach out and try to pry my mother away from that monster, my hands would just go through them. But even worse than that was remembering again that the paths that had been already walked on could not be undone.

With my heart broken for my poor mother, with my pride destroyed because I couldn't do anything for her, my tears just flowed down my cheeks while from deep within me came forth a cry of despair towards the one I had once thought would always be there to protect us and defend us from all harm.

"Where the hell are You?" I called out with venom dripping from my voice. "How can You allow something this horrible to happen to Your children? Aren't you supposed to love and care for us?"

At that same moment, my little fire burst into intense light once again and my eyes began to see beyond what was physically visible and evident. Right next to my mother's battered body lay a shadow, as if someone were in the background. And just as the conflict before us escalated, I saw a young man, enveloped by an aura of light materializing.

I noticed that the man's face was extremely pale and that his eyes looked sadly at the scene before him, but what shocked me most was that I became able to sense that he was experiencing the same impotence that I was. Then, he looked up at me and I suddenly understood who he was. This was my mother's guardian angel and he had been with her this whole time, sharing with her her pain and suffering.

Just as I was pondering on the implications of this discovery, the young angel directed his eyes, and therefore mine, away from the gruesome scene and towards the tiny window, and right at that moment, I realized that he had wanted me to see the answer to my earlier demand. Right at the moment when I heard my mother screaming because the monster was stabbing her, I saw the face of a little boy leaning against the window, and as he became aware of what was happening, he too began to yell out for help.

Things got very messy after that. I returned my eyes towards my dying mother as the cellar was stormed by all kinds of people, and while her angel remained by her side every instant, the people that came in to help not only beat her abuser until he was made unconscious, but they also began to take steps to ensure my mother's survival. I saw as police officers, paramedics, and neighbors formed groups to attend to the different needs. And while the abuser was cuffed and hoisted as he was to be taken away, my mother's body was lifted with the utmost care onto a stretcher.

What I saw moved me deeply and within me, I began to feel the flourishing of a small seed that I knew would grow up to lead me to the biggest quest of my life; the search for the presence of a living and loving God in our lives. Seeing all these people who had never known my mother before, rushing to her rescue following the call from the small child, initiated inside me a movement that I knew would become life-changing.

However, even more than the sight of the people helping out, it was the sight of that angel and the love I had sensed emanating from him towards my mother, his persistence to be near her and with her, and his bearing with her the burden of her suffering, what had altered me the most.

As a child, I had heard about guardian angels, spiritual beings who had been given to us by God as companions to look after us and remind us that He was always near us. But I had stopped believing in them when I had decided to give up on my belief in God himself. Yet now, today, another one of my steadfast and logical beliefs had been demonstrated to be false.

My companions and I followed that stretcher all the way until it was placed inside an ambulance. But pretty soon we lost sight of all of them as the vehicle moved away from us.

As I thought about all that I had seen and experienced, I came then to the conclusion that although the sight of my mother's traumatic past would scar me, what had really remained at the forefront of my mind and heart was the presence of that being who had seen her through the worst experience of her life. This then answered my demand to God it seemed. He, through His Angel, had been working behind the scenes to save my mother.

At that moment, I became aware of the presence of Emmanuel and I knew it was time to go back. He extended his hand towards mine in a gesture of comfort, but what I did not expect was that as soon as I took it our hearts and souls connected, and with the new sight Michael had given me, I began to actually SEE.

However, as this new realization began to dawn on me, and as my soul received more and more of Michael's power in order for me to see further, I felt my consciousness fading, and then I knew no more.

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Hello, my dear readers please be aware that this chapter came to be as I realized that The Starting point was too dense. So I broke that one into two chapters. Both chapters have been changed almost entirely. I hope you like them.