Chapter 13. The Power of Faith

Throughout my life, and most especially after I had legally become a grown-up, I had found myself having a really hard time releasing my control, and putting my faith blindly in anyone. Regardless of who it was, I had erected a barrier around me that kept me safe and steady and I never fully gave my trust to anyone; shamefully enough, not even my beloved husband. I was, as they said, the only master of my fate.

Yet tonight, this had stopped being the case. I had accepted Michael's words, his invitation, and I now found myself not only following him blindly but astonishingly enough, not faltering even once. The conditions around me had not changed with my acceptance, or willingness to be led, and there was still a tiny part inside that wanted to fight against this new me. However, as my feet moved, and Michael's hand pulled mine, my resolution to trust and believe grew stronger.

I also began to realize something as we moved. We, humans in general, depend almost entirely, if not completely, on our senses, and our intelligence, believing that without them we cannot navigate through life. And what I was noticing with this particular experience was that sometimes that dependency on the physical and sensible, became a hindrance, more than an ability.

Now, because my senses except for touch had been rendered useless, and even touch would not have gotten me anywhere, I had been forced to let go of them and the result was something I had not expected and that awed me. As my soul was set free from the constraints, and as it connected with Michael's, I was able to see that there was a whole world, a whole different reality, that transcended the physical. And I would have never found it if I had not been forced to by what had happened this night.

In the end, the bottom line of this whole thing was that unless I learned to place my faith, real faith, and trust, in someone other than myself, I would not get anywhere, and that's where I had failed abysmally in my life.

My newfound faith had, evidently, and completely, paid off, because I had not only reached our final destination without making a fool of myself, but I had experienced everything with the eyes of a child. And to be honest, the world is always better when seen and sensed with the simplicity of a child's mind and soul.

This new realization, of the power of having the soul of a child, and what it was brewing inside me, caused a very strong wave of emotion and happiness to emerge from inside me, and although I could not see, or hear still, I was not worried, because I felt absolutely safe and cared for.

When the two of us arrived at the edge of the small brook light and sound came rushing back to me, yet I was not bothered by this because I no longer depended on any of it to know where I was going, or how I was getting there; at least for now. I simply trusted. This is why, without an inch of doubt, I followed Michael's motions and stepped without worry on the now stretched tree roots that had once again come out of the earth to form a bridge for us.

We finally crossed into the small glen and I could not help the childish chuckle that came out of me when my now-seeing eyes landed on the scene before me. It was so incredibly normal, in human terms, so down-to-earth, so pragmatic, that I just couldn't process it.

Abraham and Emmanuel were inside the glen and they were seating in a semi-circle, around a smoldering bonfire, chitchatting like young girls while they were surrounded by all these amazing, but not very healthy, snacks. It was a huge change from the magic-filled experiences I had had so far, but it was a really nice one. Once more, I felt the sense of friendship growing in me towards these men.

"Well, it took you both long enough," Emmanuel said smiling at me kindly when he and Abraham became aware of our presence. He extended his hand towards me to guide me to my appointed seat next to him, while Michael took his place next to Abraham.

Feeling light-hearted and much better than I had in a very long time, I sat down. And even though I had eaten to my heart's content at dinner, I accepted the skewer of fire-melted marshmallows that Emmanuel offered me.

While I happily nibbled on the food and allowed my mind the freedom to move through all my thoughts, memories, and imagination, the three men continued their chitchat as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened to interrupt them. I just listened to them without contributing anything.

I also took the time to look around the clearing, the beautiful scenery around us, and enjoy all of it now with my full senses on board as well. It was wonderful to see how, when the heart, soul, body, and mind started to really work together, in harmony, the experience of the world changed. Now, as my soul matured further and the rest followed its lead, even what was physical and sensible, what would seem normal, was filled with a magic all its own.

"So," I finally said as I put down my half-eaten skewer. "I am guessing that all this has a purpose? I mean, it's not like every day the moon and stars go out and a person is left without any light or sound to guide them."

The three men chuckled and it was Emmanuel who spoke next.

"You are absolutely correct Em. As Michael told you before, transformation, and especially healing, can only take place in the human heart and soul when these are totally open and especially free of the bonds and limits that tie them. And what you are about to hear and see tonight, besides what you have already seen and experienced, will need those limits to be gone. Otherwise, instead of healing and transformation you will only get more confused."

"You first needed to be able to experience the feelings of hollowness, darkness, and loneliness of a human soul that has lost all possible hope, because they have been your feelings for a long time, but you had never taken the time to really understand them and accept that they were there. That is why you never asked for help, believing that you alone could deal with what was bothering you, and never trusted anyone enough to let them in on the true horror you were living. But when you made the choice to jump down the waterfall, to end your life, you came face to face with your fears, doubts, and darker feelings, and terrified by what they caused in you, fearing that you would be buried by them for eternity, you finally cried out for help.

"This terrible experience, created by the void inside you, came to be because you forced yourself to believe that you were always alone, and I do not mean it in terms of human companionship," Abraham said, now causing me to freeze as I was thrust back into the memories of those horrible moments.

"You went through the same event when you went under the apple tree at the Glen of Past. Only, at that moment, you saw the real you in a mirror, and you were completely terrified by the result of your choices, both conscious and unconscious. You didn't want to continue experiencing that fear, that darkness and you saw all the blessings you had been given but you had lost the capacity to appreciate. At that moment, under that tree, you understood its meaning, and the meaning of the experience you were having, and that is why you are now, today, able to be where you are. Because you are now ready to understand that there will always be a way if you allow yourself to reach for it," Abraham continued.

"Do you think I wanted to feel despair?" I asked Abraham as I turned to face him, feeling a little bit upset by his words. "That I wanted to find myself in a situation where not even the love of others could help me see a reason for living? Do you think that I did that to myself?"

Abraham was not even fazed by my stance, or by my tiny-bit-harsh words. His stare did not waver from mine, and it was filled with a seriousness I had not seen before. I realized then that the man I was seeing now was no longer just a carefree, young man. No, this Abraham looked like a father who loved his child and knew that the only way to help her was by confronting her with her own mistakes. There was no judgment in Abraham's eyes, or words; only stark truth. When I saw that, I began to deflate and as I did, anger began to be replaced by a deep regret and utter sadness.

A warm hand suddenly came to cover my tightly fisted ones and I looked up to see the infinitely tender eyes of Emmanuel. That contact, and the message that the man sent to me through his eyes, allowed me to know that I was not being placed on trial, that they only wanted to help me and this made all the difference. I looked back towards Abraham.

The warmth and the love I saw shining from his eyes after his serious and almost hard stare earlier made my eyes start to water. I found myself suddenly riddled with sobs as inside those brown pools I saw the real me reflected. Was that really how he saw me? Not a hopeless, ugly corpse, but the most precious of gems? I did not question that and I did not care to either. I began to understand that there might be more to me than what I had become used to seeing, and it was evident also that this wonderful and mysterious man was able to see it as well.

Without thinking about my actions, I simply stood from my place and went to Abraham. He took me in his arms and hugged me tenderly to him, while I let out everything through my tears. It almost felt as if everything that had once been wrong with me were being siphoned off and the sense of release was immense. I was being unburdened, freed, from my uglier baggage.

When I was done with the waterworks I moved away from Abraham and he took my face gently in his hands. Clearing my tears away with his thumbs he brought my attention back to him and softly said, "It's enough Emily, it has been more than enough purgatory for you. You need to start forgiving yourself, in all aspects, to start seeing yourself as we," Abraham pointed to the other two men, "see you. You need to loosen the noose and allow the real you to come back. More importantly than anything, you need to learn to love yourself and allow others to love you as you are.

"Do not be afraid to open up again, to believe again, to trust and to love again. Knowledge of yourself, and acceptance of who you were and are, is part of the process of healing and growing into who you really were always called to be. And believe, most especially, that you have never and will never be alone. That you mean everything, are as precious as that gem you saw earlier, to that someone you wished to close the door against so many years ago, thinking that he wanted to hold you back.

"That sphere where you went, that beautiful miracle you witnessed, those were mysteries revealed to you so you could understand that all human beings are that precious and there is not a single human soul that is not looked after, taken care of, left alone, or loved. This must be the cornerstone on which you must rebuild yourself."

Abraham's words went way beyond my ears, and even my brain. As I processed each of them and thought them over, I realized how wrong I had been for a very long time.

"How? Please, help me," I whispered as my hands took Abraham's against my face and squeezed them both with urgency.

He smiled at me and then stood up, moving away and towards the apple tree. I was stunned by this sudden action and simply looked at the other two men wordlessly. They both smiled but did not make any effort to enlighten me.

To my astonishment, Abraham came back to me and handed me a tiny sapling inside a bit of packed earth that was just sprouting its first tiny leaves and branches. It was beautiful and filled with life, and when my hands came into contact with the packed earth and my eyes stared at the newborn plant I felt from within me a huge wave of warm emotion suddenly bubbling to the surface. I looked up at Abraham completely taken aback.

"In order for anything to be reborn, it must first go through death. Not a death necessarily of the body, but of those things that tied it back and kept it from reaching its full and original potential. Do you remember the apple tree from the Glen of Past?" Abraham asked. I nodded, still mulling over his words and the evident symbolism of this sapling in my hands.

When Abraham mentioned the old and sick apple tree on the other glen, my brain, in a sudden stroke of brilliance, connected the dots. This sapling was an offspring from that tree?

"How... how is that possible? Nothing grew beneath that tree, it was so sick, how could it have produced anything?" I asked finally, in shock.

"You are correct," Abraham said as his hands cupped underneath mine. "The tree from the Glen of Past finally succumbed to its sickness and died. However, no matter how terrible the sickness, how dark the heart, there will always be a speck of light, of life, of hope. The tree left this little speck behind and here you have it, in your hands."

I looked down at the newborn tree and finally understood.

"This is me, isn't it?" I asked looking up at Abraham. He smiled warmly at me.

"It is you, and anyone, or anything, that finally releases those constraints that prevented them from becoming the better version of themselves and allow the power of real Love to transform them. This symbolic death, the cutting of those ties, will permit the original seed planted in all living things to finally grow into what they were once meant to be."

"Why did I not see this Light, or this Hope, that you speak of? Where was that Love you mention when I most needed it?" I asked Abraham.

Abraham smiled warmly and gently asked me, "Did you truly want to see the light, Emily? Or were you too encrusted by your prejudices and ideas of how things should be to allow it to shine in you? Was your heart truly open to the powerful force of Love? Or were you always expecting Him to bend to your will and do what you wished Him to do so you would believe He was there?"

As soon as Abraham said those words, gently and without any recrimination, just a statement of fact, I felt very deep remorse filling me. The answer to his questions was that I did not know. The more I was confronted with the mirror of truth in this journey, about who I had become, and who I once was, the more I saw that maybe, just maybe, Abraham was right.

"However, Emily," Abraham continued, bringing my face up to look at him with his gentle hand. "The Light, the Hope, and most importantly the Love, that I just told you all created beings have, never truly died in you, or left you and that is why you are here right now, experiencing all this. Because that tiny speck, regardless of the immensity of your void, fought back, powered by that Light you seem to believe abandoned you to your fate. He was the one who inspired that light to call out for help, to seek assistance. And thus, you came to land here, brought out of the nothingness you feared was all that was left after death.

"This sapling you have in your hands is the mirror of you, now finally rid of so many trappings that had buried you in sickness and despair. That tree at the Glen of Past was the old you, and it also represents all created creatures who succumb to the power of evil and the absence of Love and Hope.

"But now you have finally opened up enough to allow the process of healing and transformation to happen. This sapling, as your being, will now begin to grow as they are nurtured by both the rebirth of your faith, and the knowledge of yourself and all the mysteries that surround you and all of creation."

"But for now," I heard Emmanuel suddenly intervening and moving towards us, "we need to plant this little guy here, near its kindred, so it can continue to develop," he continued as he took me by the arms and pulled me up and towards the apple tree. I tenderly set the sapling inside the little hole on the ground that had been dug up for it and ensured that it was well covered by the nurturing earth.

As soon as I did that, I saw as the bigger apple tree's roots began to extend around the sapling, circling it as if they were creating a protective barrier around. But more than that, through the gifts I had received from Michael, I was able to sense that the older tree accepted the young sapling as its own, and therefore it would love and nurture it to help it grow into what it needed to be.

This marvelous event moved me deeply because I knew it represented me and the new life that was beginning to emerge. It also amazed me because as I looked on longer, I became aware that the other trees had also extended their roots, and thus, my little sapling had become the center of it all. In fact, the formation looked almost like a womb. It also showed how precious the young sapling was to these trees around.

And then, I connected the dots of what I was seeing and the guys' earlier words. Love, Light, and Hope, represented in the older trees, would be with my sapling from now onwards, caring for it, protecting it, and nurturing it, because it had become their most precious child. And if that sapling was me, and those trees represented what I thought they represented, more who they represented, did that mean that right now I was witnessing the true connection between Him and Me?

I think that was the biggest mystery for me to understand in all this and now I knew why Emmanuel had told me that for this part, I would need a completely clear and open heart and soul. Because if what I was seeing was indeed what I thought, then my life was about to be put back down on its head.

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Okay, a new chapter in this journey. Please let me hear from you, comment and vote. I would love to hear your feedback on my work.