Pinky Promise

"I hate you!" my sister yells from inside the house. "You're horrible to Niam. She's just seven years old, Mom! She doesn't understand why you are acting the way you do. And neither do I."

"Get out! Get the fuck out!" Mommy screams. I watch as she kicks my sister out of the cabin and slams the door in her face.

"Fuck you too, Mom!" Aloïsia yells at the shut door. She sighs and looks around. The moment her eyes land on me, her expression softens. She walks over to where I sit on the sand. She crouches down in front of me. "Hey, little bunny. I am going away for a while."

A cry leaves my lips, and I stare at my big sister with teary eyes. "No, don't go!" I cry. Aloïsia is going to leave me. "You can't leave me! I don't want you to."

"I know, little bunny, but I'm not leaving you forever. I'll come back in a few days, okay? Can you be brave for me until I come back?"

I nod and rub the tears out of my eyes. "But only if you come back!"

"I will always come back for you, little bunny. I love you. Remember that, okay? Even when you can't see me, I will always be with you." Aloïsia smiles down at me, and strokes my hair out of my face. "Now, be a brave bunny, and stay out of too much trouble for me, okay?" I nod again.

I hold my pinky finger out for her to promise each other. Aloïsia hooks her pinky around mine and smiles. "I pinky swear to always come back for you."

"And I pinky swear to be as brave as you!"

"And?" my sister asks, chuckling.

"And to be a good girl!" I state proudly.

"Bunny, you don't have to be a good girl. You just have to stay out of too much trouble."

"But you are a good girl! I want to be like you, Louisa!"

Aloïsia chuckles again. "I am everything but a good girl, Niam. Good girls don't make a large enough impact to change the world. By being a good girl, you won't win the game."

"And bad girls do?" I frown.

"I am not a bad girl, either, bunny. I'm the in-between."

"So, you're enough of both to change the world?" I ask, cocking my head sideways. Aloïsia sits down beside me in the dirt, not caring that her clothes would get smudge. I scoot over and lean with my head against her side. Aloïsia wraps her arm around me and sighs.

"I hope so. We may be only pawns in a chess game, but you can't win the game without them. Some get sacrificed for the greater good. But everyone knows what they've gotten themselves into and what the risks are the moment they start the game."

"I don't like chess." I stick out my tongue in disgust. "I like drawing, and listening to stories!"

"I know, bunny, and we will draw, and paint a lot, and read all the stories you want when I get back. I promise." My sister presses a kiss on my head and sighs before staggering up from the ground.

"Do you really have to go, Louisa?"

"I do. I have to try to make my mark on the world. I have to try to make it a better place."

"Can't you take me with you?" I ask hopeful. "Mommy doesn't like me anymore. You're the only one who loves me now, Louisa."

"That is not true, Bunny! Your Dad loves you, and Mom loves you too. She's just confused, little one."

"Why?" I didn't do anything bad.

"I don't know, little one. Grown ups have complicated feelings."

"Then I don't want to be a grown up!" I state. I have decided. I'll never grow up.

"Everything will turn out okay, Niam. Now, remember your promise, okay? I'll come back home soon." Aloïsia presses a kiss on my head. A kiss longer as the ones she usually gives me. When she pulls away again, her eyes are wet with tears. "I love you. I always have, and I always will. Even when you can't see me, even when I am not here."

"I'll be waiting for you!" I promise her smiling. Even more tears stream down her face. She gives me one last smile and runs off into the woods.

I sit down and start drawing in the sand again.

Silent tears stream down my face as I wake from my dream. The last memory I have from my sister. The last time I saw her before she ran off to change to world... and never returned home.

I bite my lip to keep myself from making any sound. Aloïsia didn't come home, but neither did I, in a certain way.

Not that there is something to come back to.

Mom is dead,

Aloïsia is gone,

and the cabin burned to ash.

I've got nothing to come back to, so I stopped fighting him. I stopped trying to escape.