8

Chapter 9

Draco's Fanmail

Dear Draco,

I love you. You are the greatest model in the world. It's too bad your gay cause if you weren't we could date. Anyway, do you think you could get me in with the modeling business

Sincerely,

Shula Jackson

Dear Shula,

I love you too. And yes, it is a fact that I am the greatest model in the world. They've done studies you know… so it's proven that I am the sexiest man on the planet. It's a fact. A scientific fact. And if I weren't gay and dreadfully loyal to my Pookie-Pie-Harry, then I would date you! Along with all the sexy women in the world. And I can get you into the modeling business but there are certain… ahem … compensations, if you get my drift… I'll try to be subtle… YOU MUST SLEEP WITH ME.

Love,

Draco

Dear Mr. Malfoy,

You are so hot! and so is Mr. Potter! I envy you sigh so down to business, is Mr. Potter -hem- a good shag? and is he your One?

Love Rachel Zabini

Dear Rachel,

Oh my, are you related to my dear sweet Blaise? Let's do lunch! Thank you for thinking… oh excuse me… knowing that I'm hot. My Sugar-Pie-Honey-Bunch-Harry is quite hot too, isn't he? I'm sure everyone, including you, is positively green with envy! We do make a wondrous couple. And… I will answer your next question without hesitation. Mr. Potter is INDEED a FABULOUS shag. I absolutely love the way he squeaks when he gets close to a climax. And he makes this adorable face when I come— Okay, enough of that! Now to your last question.

Yes. He is the One.

Love,

Draco

Oh Draco,

I love your sexy hot body and dream of stripping you naked every time my eyes lie on you. Ditch Pothead and go for me. I'll give you the ride of your life. Come on, being gay is a drag. Go for the straight life for me.

The esteemed Brittany Smokes –

Dear Miss Smokes,

For the love of Merlin, why did I have to become gay? WHY! When there are lovely sensual women like you walking on this planet! Okay, I shall become straight for you! You sexy, vivacious woman, you! YOU CAN RIDE ME ANYDAY! RIDE IT, COWGIRL!

"Malfoy, what the hell are you writing?" Harry looked over his shoulder. "You're honestly not going to send that, are you?"

"Of course not, Potter," Draco said. "I just needed to get it out of my system."

Dear Miss Smokes,

The gay life is the life for me. How dare you try and ensnare me with your evil womanly ways! Shame on you!

Love,

Draco

Dear Draco,

Aren't you just the cutest little model around? Too bad about the whole gay thing... although it is rather appealing- bisexual's a good way to go! Anyway, if you and Harry ever feel like something diffrent gimmie a buzz.

Good luck with the modelling. What conditioner do you use? Your hair always looks so good! I guess some people are just born beautiful.

Love you

Zo x

Dear Zo,

Yes, of course I'm the cutest model around, but I'm far from little! Surely you must know that. And I refuse to be bisexual! I believe that a person should just go for ONE THING and in my case, that would be men. And I've got one hell of a man, of course. My Pumpkin-Pookie-Poo-Harry. And the conditioner I use is called Wizarding Orgasmic Lush. Because when I massage it into my hair, I get the URGE to scream out with PLEASURE. It's like sex for the scalp.

And as for the part of your letter which I skipped purposely, I think I should answer it now… NO, Harry and I do NOT do well with THREESOMES. It's uncalled for! How dare you even bring it up?

Love,

Draco

P.S. Meet me and Harry at our apartment. 3 pm tomorrow. Wear sexy lingerie. Don't be late.

Dear Draco Dearest,

Wow. Was what I read in the paper true Draco? You and Harry Potter? I don't think he deserves you, I mean come on! Your WAY hotter then him! Anyways, ARE you really gay? Is Potter a good shag?

Love always,

Slytherin 6th Year,

Midori Wan

Dear Midori Dearest,

I've seen you around the common room when I was in 7th year. You're hot! I would've cornered you and shagged you out of your own will, but I didn't. Because I'm gay. And I fully think that Harry deserves me because my dear Super-Duper-Pooper-Pie deserves only the best and the best would be ME. But I definitely agree with you when you say that I'm WAY hotter than him. Because it's true! But come on, Harry is very hot, isn't he? And, yes, once again… Harry is a very good shag. He's shagadellic.

Love,

Draco

Oh my God!

Draco, you are a sex-god! You invade my dreams every night, satisfying my every need and giving me indescribable pleasure over and over and over again! And I welcome these dreams eagerly. You are simply gorgeous! You are beauty at its peak! You are the Adonis of our Era! I have every single magazine picture you've ever posed for! I just love you! You are totally and completely fabulous! My boyfriend gets a bit jealous, but I don't care! You are the best! And I've totally accepted that you and Harry Potter are a couple! Actually, it makes for much more interesting dreams! I mean, he's quite the looker, as well. All though not nearly as attractive as you! But still, it's wonderful! You and Harry, laying in a satin covered bed, limbs tangled from previous, exhausting events, breathing over each other's faces. And sometimes there are even hand cuffs involved!

I love you Draco!

You're ever-adoring, number one fan,

Melanie Salazar

Dear Melanie,

Salazar? You sound very Slytherin-like! We must do lunch! Now Melanie, tell me exactly how I pleasure you…with my snake-like tongue? With my long, supple wand? Speak naughty to me, Melanie, speak naughty to me… Yes, I am fully aware of how gorgeous I am. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I gasp and say, "Oh my! Who is that lovely, lovely boy staring at me? Why, I must ask for his phone number!" And then I realize that it is me. I am a bit disappointed of course, because I cannot shag myself. Unless I cut off my wee-wee and shove it up my arse. But that would be very painful. I feel very honored to be included in your dreams… and now that Harry is with me, it's wonderful to know that he, too, can be a part of your fantasies. Tell me, all three of us are in the nude, right? Are we skipping through a field of daises while licking lollipops? Are we all making love underneath the shade of a large elephant?

Well, my darling. My favorite part of the letter is when you are describing our after-sex scenes. It turns me on so much, I think I will go and stick my pencil in Harry's sharpener right now. Bye!

Love,

Draco

Harry's face turned beet red, "Girls actually fantasize about that?"

"But of course, Potter," Draco looked at him. "Girls can't help but fantasize about two beautiful young men shagging each other. It's just how it goes…"

"But how come you make it seem like that you're the dominant one of this relationship?" Harry scrutinized Draco's reply to the girl.

Draco sighed, "Because I am the dominant one. I'm the one that gets to stick my pole up your arse, so quit whining about it. Now go make me a sandwich, woman!"

Dear Draco,

Since that you are now gay, I think it's safe to confess my true feelings for you. I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, DRACO. I've always been in love with you! From the moment I set eyes on you, I decided to become your lackey just for the sole purpose of being able to follow you wherever you go. And yes, I do peek whenever you're in the shower. Ever since first year, I've been peeking. And do you remember when your underwear began to disappear? It was I who stole them. I would wear them on my head and SNIFF them. Oh, how I love the scent of DRACO. So please, dump that Harry Potter if you want some REAL MANLY LOVIN'.

Always and Forever YOURS,

Goyle

Dear Fred Weasley,

I know this is you. It's not funny. It's disturbing.

Love,

Draco

Dear Draco,

I've heard that GOYLE confessed his love to you. And I shall do the same! Do not go out with that horrid Goyle because it is I that loves you the most. I want you to be mine, Draco. I want to dress you up in a bunny suit and sing love songs to you. I want to lick caramel off your sexy body and I want you to WHIP me. WHIP ME, DRACO, WHIP ME. Shove a LOLLIPOP stick up my BUM! Take me to your candy shop!

Sexually yours,

Crabbe

Dear George Weasley,

If you continue to send these letters, I will hang you and your brother in my room and use you as punching bags. Then I will **** your mangled bodies.

Love,

Draco

Hi Draco (mr. fantabulously gorgeous hunk),

i'm a muggle who has stumbled (quite fortunately) into the wonders of the wizarding world. Of those wonders i've found Harry Potter. Harry Potter is so deliciously hot, but i've heard that he doesn't accept fanmail (out of modesty, i heard.. how cute!) and he doesn't model (a right pity).

Anyway, when i found out that you (lucky sod) had managed to hook up with him i was terribly excited for you. How'd you do it anyway? he's such a recluse and he seems so adorably shy no matter how manly he looks.. sigh Harry Potter.. don't you just love gazing into his eyes? they're so irrisistibly green that i'm pretty sure people who are fortunate to gaze in them get lost.. i wouldn't mind getting lost.

i can't help but ask if this is a long term deal? U guys look unbelievably hot together, but in the world of celebrities (even wizards n witches) they don't seem to last. i hope you do because you both seem to set sparks off one another, it's incredibly sexy. i've also wondered what your favorite position with Harry is? (not to sound pervy but you have to admit, ppl ARE imagining u two doing the dirty deed ) I also wonder if you'll convince Harry to do a few shoots with you? he's very gorgeous, it's a shame to put all that looks to waste.. Oh.. and what is your (and Harry's) all time favorite nickname to each other? The issue in Witches Weekly stated that you two were spouting numerous pet names to each other at T. Fiddy's party. that's so cute.. u don't care about embarassing each other cuz you're both so enamoured.. sigh young love..

oOoh.. i was also wondering if you guys were planning on vacationing at Hawaii anytime soon? The islands are lovely, particularly Maui, and it'd be great to see you in person..

Harry Potter's biggest muggle fan,

Anna lynn

ps. if u hurt Harry you die! you may be hot but I know u're a frisky fellow, i won't have you break his heart!

pps. Hi Harry! lovely watching u..

Dear Anna Lynn,

Why are you giving all your love to Harry and not to me? I'm very disappointed and jealous! Haven't you GAZED into my lovely grey eyes? Don't you get SUCKED into them as if you were DROWNING in a pool of grey? Have you noticed my wonderful UNBLEMISHED skin? ARE YOU BLIND! LOOK AT ME, WOMAN! This is "Draco's Fanmail" not "Harry's Fanmail"! It's always wonderful sweet POTTER that gets all the praise and affection! I never get anything! At Hogwarts he was Dumbledore's FAVORITE BOY and everyone's FAVORITE CELEBRITY! WHY, ANNA! WHY ARE YOU NOT GIVING ME ANY LOVE!

Harry watched Draco as he scribbled furiously on the parchment. He was almost close to tears. "Malfoy? What's wrong with you?"

Draco's head quickly shot up as if he had been in some sort of trance, "Oh. Nothing. I'm fine." He crumpled up his answer to her and began writing on a new piece of parchment.

Dear Anna Lynn,

Despite all the rumors you hear, I am not a Muggle hater. I love Muggles! They are simply delightful. And it's wonderful how you happened to stumble across our world. And I am indeed lucky to have scored such a hunk like Harry Potter. And it was very EASY for me to get him to date me. All I had to do was drop my pants in front of him, and he caved in! And as for the relationship, Harry and I are going strong! We will never break up because I'm too in love with him…

Draco stopped writing. He stared at his reply and read the last line he wrote: I'm too in love with him…Even though it wasn't the least bit true, it made his heart flutter a bit. How stupid… He shook his head and continued writing.

Now moving on to our favorite position. Since HARRY POTTER IS MY BITCH, I like being on top, of course. But then I'll never tire of seeing him in between my legs going down on my lollipops- But that's a different story. And my favorite nickname for Harry is Pinko-Dinko-Slinko-Bo-Binko. It's very unique. And I believe his favorite nickname for me is "Oh Almighty Penis."

Harry looked over Draco's shoulder and exclaimed, "That is NOT my nickname for you!"

Oh, and worry not about Harry wasting his good-looks. I'll convince him to do a naked photo shoot for the gay Wizard's magazine, Guess My Wand Size. And guess what… we're going to do the shoot in Hawaii! Yay, yay, coconuts for me and my love!

Love,

Draco

Well hello dear Draco,

I figured u've gotten some pretty weird emails from obsessed fans but I am here to tell you that even though to me you are totally hot and should be with . So I guess I shouldHarry I'm not one of your obsessed fans, just close to it tell you about a dream I had which involved u and Harry. So here it is, oh just a note there was no actual penetration in the dream, so u were sitting on a bed with your hands tied behind your head (kinky but hot) while Harry staring at you placed light kisses all the way down your body spending some time on your nipples. After making u tense with pleasure, Harry worked his way down your body teasing you the entire way. Once he reached your penis he started to lick and suck until it hardened then he straddled your hips and started to rock back and forth until… then my dream ended, sucks huh? Well juss thought you would like to know what people think about you.

K

Well hello dear K,

YOU HORRID GIRL! HOW COULD YOU END YOUR DREAM THERE! I COMMAND YOU TO GO BACK TO SLEEP AND FINISH THAT DREAM! That's a direct order, go back to sleep or else I will have to go over there and MURDER you! … So… do you think Harry enjoyed doing it as much as I enjoyed receiving it? But darling, you make it seem like Harry is the head honcho of the relationship. HE should be the one tied down and I'M the one who gets to straddle him and such. Oh, wondrous, wondrous, to be able to make mad passionate love to my Slinky-Winky. Well, my dear darling girl. It's hard to believe that you are not an obsessive fan when you are having SEX dreams about me and Harry. I don't blame you; I am UTTERLY GORGEOUS after all. Please continue having those dreams, and when you've finished that previous one- write me back. I should like to know the ending.

Love,

Draco

Draco sat at his computer (yes, he has a computer) and began to read K's letter over and over again. The idea intrigued him… Hmm… hands tied and kinkyness… He stood up and walked towards Harry's bedroom, "Um, Potter! I've to, um, talk to you…"

10 minutes later…

Draco sat back down in front of his computer, breathing heavily. He had attempted to "engage Harry in conversation" but failed miserably.

Harry stomped into the room, his hands tied behind his back and his shirt unbuttoned all the way. He looked like he had been molested against his will.

"What the hell was that, Malfoy!" he spat.

Draco shrugged lightly, "I wanted to talk to you about something but you wouldn't listen."

"You didn't talk, you groped—"

"Shut up, dear boy. I'm trying to answer my fanmail."

"Malfoy—"

"Dammit, woman! Go to the kitchen and get me a beer!"

Dear Draco,

I should warn you. You're going to get with Harry soon in this story. You're gonna FALL for him.

The Author,

Reshima

XXxxXXxx

Dear Reshima,

You are disgusting. You will never turn me into a homosexual no matter how hard you try. I don't care if you're the author!

Love,

Draco

XXxxXXxx

Dear Draco,

I have power over you. I can make you hit yourself.

The Author,

Reshima

XXxxXXxxx

Dear Reshima,

My face hurts. I just hit myself. Fuck you.

Love,

Draco

XXXxxxXXXXxx

Dear Draco,

Anytime, baby. Anytime.

The Author,

Reshima